EPISODE ELEVEN: PROPOSAL

It was a hot summer day, and Jack was visiting the mayor and his wife at their lovely mansion. Many issues were discussed wholly as Jack either agreed with head nods or disagreed with death threats, all the while, not understanding a word of what was being said. It was during these ramblings that the subject of marriage came up, catching the poor young farmer off his guard.

"And speaking of such happy things, I must admit that there is something that has been on my mind for quite some time." The mayor smiled. "It seems that you and the young waitress have become quite the item, Jack. When should we expect the two of you to be married?"

Jack stared, unable to think of what to say. "Um…"

"It is now that time in the young villagers' lives that they must start thinking about such things. Our daughter has gone off to become a nun, and Nina is moving soon go to meet a nice bachelor in the next town over. I'm sure that Eve is awaiting your proposal, Jack."

"But I'm only (bleep) years old!" Jack whined.

"That is just the age we were when we tied the knot." The mayor's wife smiled at her husband.

"…What knot?" Jack was getting angry. Both hosts laughed at this.

"It is customary that in our village, the male must buy a blue feather from the peddler and give it to the one he wishes to marry." The mayor explained.

Jack hissed like a cat at the sound of his name. The peddler was Jack's most hated enemy, and he would stop at nothing to ruin him. But now it seemed that Jack was in need of something in the peddler's possession.

"It's quite the costly item, I must warn you. Do you have 5000 gold tucked away somewhere? Oh, what am I saying? Ofcourse you do! Shipping all the things you have been over the last year and a half, you must be rich!" the mayor squabbled.

Jack was 10 gold rich, not 5000 gold rich. He was going to have to find a way to get the money he needed fast or else face the consequences.

"So, anyways…" the mayor was interrupted when Jack ran out of the house.

"He certainly doesn't waste his time, does he?"

Intermission

Jack was on his way back to his farm when a familiar cloud of smoke suddenly circled its way around him.

"Hahahahaha! Hello, Jack! Nice to see you again!" a voice laughed as a shadowy figure appeared from the myst.

"Riddler!" Jack accused.

"PEDDLER!" the peddler screamed in fury.

"What do you want?" Jack got down to business.

"I know you are in need of something valuable, and I just happen to have one for sale. It is just too bad that you'll never be able to afford it! Hahahahaha!"

Jack was about to agree, but then he decided it was a joke at his own expense. Feeling there was nothing more he could do, he continued his walk home. The peddler laughed and laughed as the cloud of smoke swept him away into the pit of Jack's mind, taunting him.

When Jack got home, Eve was waiting for him.

"Hi, Jack! I was just feeling a little lonely now that Nina is gone, wanted to know what you're up to today?"

"I'm going to make 5000 gold." Jack stated firmly.

Eve stared hard at him. She had been dating the buffoon for nearly two seasons, and she still had no idea what went on inside his mind. "Um, how are you going to do that?"

"I don't know." Jack sat down on the spot to think.

"Well what do you need the money for anyways?"

"I can't tell you or you might tie the feather without me." Jack crossed his arms.

Eve cocked an eyebrow at this. "Most of your jokes go right over my head. I'll be at home if you need me." she turned to walk away. Jack stood up to watch as she left, but he could see nothing overtop her head.

There was no way he could manage to earn 5000 gold, and he knew it. It was because the situation involved the peddler that Jack realized there was only one solution to this problem. He had to defeat the peddler once and for all, and there was only one person her knew could do it.

Opening his drawer, Jack pulled out his small mask and long red cape. It was time for Farm Boy to make another appearance. Quickly, he put the costume on and ran out the door as fast as he could.

"Farm Boy to the rescue!" he yelled, noticing only too late that Eve had come back.

"Um, what are you doing?"

Jack stared at her, embarrassed as could be. "I'm… going to go defeat the peddler." He admitted.

She studied him for a moment. "Jack? Is that you under that small mask?" she hadn't figured him out yet.

"No. I'm behind it." He corrected her.

"Why are you going to fight the peddler?" she was not going to condone his violence.

"Because… I have to buy something… but I don't have enough money to buy it." He watered down the truth.

"You're going to rob him!" Eve yelled in exasperation.

"No! I'm going to… destroy him… then take what isn't his anymore." Jack tried to calm her down.

Eve didn't know what to say to this. Perhaps he was lying, perhaps he was drunk?

"Jack, have you been drinking?"

"And eating."

"Ugh! Jack, go back to the house and get some sleep. I'm going home. I don't know if we can continue to see each other if this is how you're going to act. I need some time to think it over." She left, more disappointed in him than she'd ever been.

"Phew, that was a close one." Jack sighed in relief.

On he walked towards town to find his arch enemy, but he could find him anywhere. It then occurred to him that he had no weapon, and that could prove very dangerous. Walking down the street, he decided to stop in on Ann, the inventer.

"Hi, ugly girl." Jack greeted the friendly face when the door opened.

"Hmm?" came the confused reply.

"I need a weapon, one that can kill all evil things!" Jack explained to her.

"Um… I don't condone weapons, but I don't condone evil anymore. Perhaps you were looking for my daughter, Ann?" Ann's father asked.

Jack stared hard at him, "Sorry, you look alike."

"Uh… right, I guess." Ann's father said awkwardly and then summoned his daughter.

"Hi, Jack. What's up?" Ann asked.

Not me, you're hideous! He thought to himself. "Well, the sky is up out here and the ceiling is…"

"Oh, Jack you're so funny." Ann laughed.

"I'm Farm Boy!" he corrected loudly. "I hafta fight the peddler. He made me tell the truth to Eve about something and now I think she is mad at me and I'm afraid he might have a weapon to kill me back with and then take his thingy he is selling and…"

"Wait, wait! Slow down!" Ann tried to calm him down. "You need me to make you a weapon so that you can fight the peddler?"

"Yes."

"And you said Eve is mad at you?" she smiled widely.

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll help you if you really want me to. But why on earth do you want my help?"

"Because I also wanted a sandwich." Farm Boy admitted.

Ann was furious at this comment and slammed the door in his face.

"You forgot to let me in!" Farm Boy called. "Okay, I'll just wait out here while you make it… sandwich first, please!"

Farm Boy waited and waited, but Ann did not come back outside. It was soon going to be dark and he had not yet managed to find the evil peddler, but off in the distance he saw a cloud of smoke and began to run towards it.

"I have found you!" Farm Boy yelled.

"No, Farm Boy! 'Tis I, that have found you!" the peddler appeared.

"No, I found you!"

"No, I found you!"

"I found you infinity!" Farm Boy yelled.

"I found you infinity plus 1!" peddler raged.

"You can't do that!"

"Yes, I can! No rulesies!"

Farm Boy punched the peddler in the face hard.

The peddler fell down and started crying. "You didn't have to do that!"

"I'm sorry." Farm Boy apologized. "I really need that blue thingy, otherwise Eve will still be mad at me."

"You can't ask her to marry you everytime you get in an argument!" the peddler whined.

Farm Boy thought about this carefully. He sat down with the peddler to talk. "Okay, I'll make a deal with you."

"What?" the peddler asked.

"I'll give you Ruff again for the doohickey." Farm Boy took off his mask.

"You really love that girl, don't you?"

Jack considered his words carefully, "Not really, she's just pretty."

The peddler didn't know what to say. "I… can't do that."

"Okay, how about this: if you don't give it to me, I'll punch you again!" Jack held out his fist.

"Fine! Fine! Meanie!" the peddler reached into his sack and took out a blue feather.

Jack had defeated the peddler once again, and now he could go propose to the girl that he thought was really, really pretty!

Intermission

It took him two hours, but Jack finally remembered where Eve lived. She answered the door in her nightgown with an angered expression on her face.

"What do you want, Jack? I told you I didn't want to see you right now."

Jack held out the blue feather to her, not being able to say the words he wanted to.

"J…Jack, this is… are you serious?"

Jack was pretty sure hadn't said anything just now, but he nodded anyhow.

"Oh, Jack! You moron! You don't propose during an argument! And you probably beat up that poor retarded peddler to get it, didn't you!" Rrrgh!" Eve slammed the door in his face.

"Are you making me a sandwich?" Jack said into the door.

The door opened once more and Eve grabbed the blue feather from his hand before slamming the door once more.

"Was that a yes to the sandwich or yes to marrying me!" he yelled.

Feeling that he shouldn't push his luck any more, he walked home.

"How did it go?" the peddler suddenly appeared out of the darkness, sincere in his words.

"I think I need another one."

Yeer: 2 Munth: 3 Day: 8

I beeted the pedlr aggen! And I assd eev 2 marree mee. I think she sed no. I im going 2 go mak a sanwitch.

THE END

(Another not so great episode, sorry. It was a story that had to be told, though! And just in case you are wondering, Eve accepted the very next day!)