Last chapter was just a glimpse at teenage Trunks and Goten, they were both forced to grow up quick and soon.
Pan got another email from that company wanting her to come in. She closed it. She stood up in her heels walk on the floor then tile into the front of the home she looked around and saw him at the table on the laptop. She walked over to him and sat down next to him staring at him.
"Are you working ?" She asked
"Yes " he said typing away.
"Then stop" she smiled. He ignores her she sighed and got on the table laying her front on it while kicking her heels.
"Your on the table "
"So what you didn't complain at my parents house when I was on the table"
"Your being witty "
She flipped over on the table with her back on it now and head looked up at him upside down.
"Yup" she giggled
She looked at his face as she still didnt have his full attention she turned back over and slammed the laptop shut. "Opps "
He looked he closed his eyes having a moment of annoyance and Pan was suddenly annoyed at herself for seeming desperate and for him for making her feel this way. Her whole mood change.
"I just want to talk to you" she said and got off the table.
"What do we possible have to say to each other"
Pan frown hurt by his words and walked away he stood up. "Wait " he took a deep breath.
"What do you want to talk about ?"
"Nothing now you jerk !"
"Your being rude " she stopped away.
"Your walking away from me ?!"
She stopped and turn to him looking him in the eye. She was drain of all of this it was to much the pot had boiled over. "So what I can't touch you "
"Pan"
"No don't Pan me screw this this is just to much" she grabbed her head taking a deep breath.
"Your fine Pan just don't think"
Her head shot up and ger arms fell from her face. "But I do think Trunks " she licked her lips "i think So although the sex is great but I can't touch him I can't look at him "
"Stop Pan"
"Thats what I think why do I have to be reduce why can't I be myself when I'm with you" she walk closer to him. "Do you like making me feel this way ?"
"I like making you feel good"
She chocked out a cry and ironic little half chuckled as her throat dried a d tears surfaced. "Do I look like I feel good?... Do you think I feel good about myself I have to slam your laptop for your attention and fear you getting mad ?"
"Pan its okay "
"Its not Okay !" She screamed at him.
"Why whats gotten into you ?"
Pan wiped her face and stayed quiet. She walked forward looking at him taking staggered breaths she towards him and kissed his lips again breaking rules of the 100th time
He pulled away and put his head on hers taking deep breaths he grabbed her head. "I see you Pan.. But "
"No don't fight me Trunks " she grabbed his face. "I want to do this for you "
She kissed his lips then jaw as her hands went underneath his shirt she laid her head in his chest feeling his warmth relishing in it and tears came out her eyes she took off his shirt and kissed his pecks and abs softly she took his hand and pulled him to her room and softly pushed him on her bed Pan took of her shirt and shoes climbing over him and caving into his chest. Holding him.
He blinked as she laid on him with a tight grip as feeling her tears on his chest he wrapped her up and rubbed her hair.
They fell asleep like that.
Pan woke up alone in her bed she sat up and walked bare foot while putting on her shirt she saw him sitting at the table she walked to him and grabbed his head. He pulled it away from her.
"Stop it Pan"
She suddenly felt that victory yesterday meant nothing to him. She swallowed in just pure disgust with everything.
"Yesterday was "
"What was it Pan ? It was nothing thats what it was"
Pan looked away. "It meant everything to me" she whispered lowly.
"This is all about sex Pan what I want to do you and what I can do to cause your body is mine you can't say a damn thing about it but your safe words"
Pan scoffed. "So the contract is just lies ?"
"Screw the fucking Contract Pan you think that matter at this point?"
Pan eyes widen the dropped. "Yes it does than what is this were doing ?"
"The rules matter Pan"
"No if this isn't an arrangement then what is it to you ? Who am I'm to ? Its more right am I'm right ?!"
"I just do more for you "
"More like for you " she spat lowly
"You hate it this much ?" He spat
"I do all of this for you because you like and need it, it doesn't hurt like the way you think"
"I want it to hurt you like I want it too which way it hurts you ?"
"Why do you want to hurt me like that ... At all ?"
"I need it" be grabbed her hand. "I'm fucked up Pan"
"Just talk to me Trunks, I don't care I'm right her right now in front if you"
"You'll leave me Pan, I don't can't lose you I'm not telling you why I'm like this"
"I won't leave you"
"don't leave" he breathed
"I won't I promise"
His eyes are distance and face angst I watch this in surprises and concern my face studying his following his ever movement he grabbed me kissing my lips I'm holding his hand on my face kissing back.
"I don't know what is about you" he murmured against my lips"I hate it and like it at the same time "
I looked in his eyes and saw real fear in them.
"I won't leave you " I whispered to him. "Show me Trunks "
"What ?"
"Hurt me do it I want to see it the worst "
He shook his head. "You don't know "
"I do know Trunks"... Maybe if I let him do this I can touch him more. "I need to know"..."maybe If you do this than I can feels you afterwards instead of being alone in that room"
He stared at me. "Your confusing me Pan"
"I know but I don't know and I confuse myself when I'm with you I need to know what you want "
"Pan your different"
"I know you made up ways I know you got something in mind to this to Me show me what you want to do to me"
He grabbed my hand and pulled me forward through the house than to his play room.
It was then I numb upon hearing the storm outside.
"This is not for you Pan you won't enjoy this "
Pan nodded.
"Undress"
She did so.
"Get on all fours "
"Today " his belt pop off his waist. "You will become a woman" he he picked her up by her waist and placed her back on all fours he pulled her head up to see she was in front of a three angled mirror.
"I'm going to take your virginity again and again and your going to look at yourself while I do it"
She nodded he took off his Pants.
"First I'm going to put my penis inside your vagina 10 times then your buttocks then your mouth, "
Pan froze and nodded. He stood then he was inside her and just as her orgasm woke up he was out she heard him spit then her whole body tensed in an horrible pain making her fall off hands as he invaded her rear end. Her cheeks were pressed against the floor she watched herself choke in pain as he quickly slid in and out of her butt. He removed himself But I still felt and was now in my mouth bobbing my head on himself like a blow up doll. I heard him moan as I choked pretty sure I was literally dying as my heart slow and tears spilled out. It hit the back of my throat Like a ping pong ball.
He pulled my hair hard and I taste his sperm. Hes now slowly moving my head on still moaning. "Oh fuck swallow it pan" as if I had a choice
He rested in mouth for while before pulling away I feel my face mouth still a gape not because there a huge dong in it but because theres a huge sob.
I finally take a deep breath of air my lungs crave and cry against the floor my eyes closed. Hes now aware I'm crying.
He tried to grabbed her she pushed his hands away still catching her breath standing up hair wet from what she didn't know
"Pan ?" He tried again.
She slapped his face and punched his chest pushing him away
"Don't" breath "touch" breath "me "... "Don't you dare "breath cry
She pushed him again "this is how you want to see me ? This looks good to you almost killing me ?"
His eyes were blue terrified slits. Pan shook her head.
"Your right you are fucked up"
"Pan"
"Don't you dare tell me not to think !"
I walked away with whatever dignity person who just got destroyed in all her holes has covering my breast from his view. I go to my room stifling ass burning something awful and mouth felt as if I spent 10 hours at the dentist.
I need healing not only in my broken body but heart. I'm suddenly cold and I crawl under my blanket bringing it to my nose careful not she lay on my but but side. I watched the rain behind my window blinds.
This is what he wants to do to me.
I can't fulfill his wishes. Its not me to be used like I'm not human like I'm not there. Im crying again I wanted to punch his ass across the face and shove one of his canes up his ass see how he likes it. Oh why did I ask for this ?. She cried he seem to be shitting his Pants as I pushed him away. Good.
I know what I have to do, I can't anymore I have to leave. The door open and I'm trying muffle my cries its not effective he walks to the bed sitting on the edge. Grabbing my upper body laying on it with his head on mine. "Oh Pan Stop crying please"..."baby stop... " he rubbed my back and I cry more. "Don't hate me " he says shakily against my skin " he pulls thr covers off my face and I see him as I'm still crying harder and exposed.
He looks at me like I'm a broken toy of his. I love him still I can't help it, but It'll never work. My heart clenches i have to leave we are not good for each other. I cry more at the thought of not being with him than my stinging butt.
I sat up still a sobbing snotty mess and he grabs my elbows then pulls me into a hug. "No lay down" he gets in bed with me and wraps me up as I'm in front of him. My bodys still shaken from the pain of everything. After a few minutes my body is calm and I turn in his arms with my face on the sheets I stare into his blue eyes looking at them was hard even with him holding me. I felt violated and stupid.
Hes so beautiful.
"I'm sorry " I tell him.
He was puzzled then angry. "Hell no if anything "
"Its for what I said "
"Its true Pan" he was a bit relieved then he licked his lips. "I'm sorry for doing that for hurting you "
"I asked for it and forgot the safe words."..."I'm not what you want me to be"
He was shock and fearful again he grabbed my face. "You are everything I want you to be "
"I can take it, and I don't want you to ever do that again to me and thats what you like what you need"
I see everything flashes in his face. "You're right I should let you go I'm cancer to you "
And there it goes the truth he wants out. I looked at him frighten.
"I don't want to be let go "
"I don't want that either"..."my life has been so boring then I met you came into my office that day it was grey outside and you were your own awkward sun shining all over me"
Pan blinked at him. "I've fallen in love with you Trunks Briefs"
He looked at me in wonder. "What no Pan no !"
Not the reaction she wanted. "Why no?"
"You can't love me"
"But I do love Trunks I do" she said passionately.
"Look what I did to you I liked it before I knew you was like this"
"This is what you like you've showed me will you be this way forever ?"
"Yes Pan"
"I need to leave"
"What ?" He asked panicked.
"Theres no point Trunks in me staying can you leave " he stood up and left the bedroom I seriously needed a shower and a fresh ounce mouth wash. I take a fast shower then brush my teeth staring at myself. I looked like a pale ghost. I put on some old jeans of mine and I'm stuck with a plain t-shirt he bought me. I pack nothing but sit my bag necklace a and hoodie on the bed. I took paper and wrote.
You give weird gifts and its annoying because their flattering.
Sorry I broke my promise, you broke yours too.
I stood up with my purse then walked then open the door I gasp frighten looking at him there. "Trunks" she breathed then closed the door.
"Did you get everything its all yours "
"I don't need it "
"Its yours "
Pan rolled her eyes and walked away. "Bossy " she walked to the front of the home and put her car keys on the bar.
"Your leaving the car to ?"
"I don't need it "
"You do !"
She closed her lips and hugged her sides all emotion gone.
"Take it"
"No! I don't want to be reminded of you"
He gasp completely bewildered. "Real nice Pan to hurt me like that "
"Now you know what it feels like" she mumbled.
"What ?" He yelled aggressive
"I'm just protecting myself "
"From me right cause I'm such a terrorist?" He stopped himself. "Just take the gifts "
Pan shook her head. "I don't need them Trunks" walking towards the elevator pressing the buttom
"Le let me take you home "
"No " he walks closer to me.
"You have no say Trunks "
"Your going make me suffer never knowing if you got home safe were are you going anyways ?"
"I don't know "
Ding
I get on the elevator and he walks forwards as the door is due to close any second.
"No "
He stops but selfishly keeps walking. "Red !" I yell and that he stops
My eyes are watering.
"Don't Pan" he grunted
"I remember the safety word" the doors closed
I cry more a bit as I'm going down to the basement and I'm happy to finally be free. Gosh its raining. I get drenched in the rain of course and after 5 minutes there is a taxi I get in and tell them to take me to an hotel. As I cry and the radios on playing throw backs my heads against the window as the song plays.
I wish could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today
Pans eyes watered on the brim of her water line.
My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'
The tears fell sliding down
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too
He took everything and now I'm scared I don't know who I was Before Trunks Briefs but I have no choice but to find out now who Pan Son is, My heart hurts I don't know how I'm going to do this, After everything I was just being used he never cared he got what he wanted and I like an idiot thought I could save I thought he was really changing because of me. I looked at my emails on my phone and called Gure pharmacy.
"Hi I'm Pan Son I received and email for an interview"Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm bein instupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me.
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too.
Trunks Briefs would never make me feel like that again, I will let no one hurt me again not like this. Have control of me change who I was, was this what it meant be break up I get why its terrible, but maybe maybe things will start going my way.
She closed the door to the room and fall on the bed. Finally full on taken it this was far greater than a spanking and being tied up. I give in to the hole and my heart as I wail. He told he I couldn't love with him how can he do that, was that part of the freaking contract. I miss him already, my heart and mind can't take the thought of not seeing him anymore I felt like weights are on every inch of me the world was stopping everyone slowed until I were at a complete pause. I dreaded and were hopeful for the future, but the dread won making me surrender on all fours once again to the sting of my chest.
First book is finished, next chap. 50 shades darker.