First off, my traditional 'Thank you for the reviews! :D'
Now... Let's just get into the is chapter, shall we? ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own 'The Walking Dead'.
Chapter 9: I'll End It
It's some sort of teenage hormonal thing, isn't it? Some sort of hormones or some shit like that makes boys act like that, I mean, that has to be it, right?! Two guys, each one taking a kiss from me, my first two kisses... Holy shit! What the hell…? I never thought that they both would just randomly… Out of nowhere….
Lucy moaned, burying her face further in the couch in the attic. It reeked a bit, her dad mentioned a walker was found up here, but that was it. Her dad had come up a few minutes ago, freaking out, asking if she was okay and I she saw anything abnormal in the attic, but she reassured him enough to leave her alone for a while so she could think, to which he reluctantly agreed to. She sat up, frowning, her fingers brushing her lips, trying to understand everything that has happened so far today, mainly the two big things that just happened to her. Travis and Ben, the fucking kisses.
Travis. She enjoyed it, she liked it, he was surprisingly gentle with the kiss, not too deep or personal or anything, it was a soft, pleasant experience, like out of fairy tale kind of thing, a princess kiss.
But Ben… He surprised her so much today, no, not just today, everything about him was a vague mystery to her now, jumbled bits of confusion. He starts off as the nicest softie you ever met in the world, then goes off to be the biggest moron and hated thing in her life, and then transforms into an understandable, pitiable, yet still a moron, but at least, she didn't hate him as much. In fact, now she felt like she was the thing she hated the most. She had no idea at all how Ben was hurting on the inside. His family, his sister, his loved ones… He arguably could have it worse than Lucy does, and that just made her realize how bitchy she could really be. And she felt like shit about it.
And that kiss, that fucking surprising kiss Ben gave her. Given Ben's personality, you'd expect some sort of sweet, soft, tender little kiss like with Travis, but no! It was weird how harsh and rough Ben started, but as it kept going, she realized how she enjoyed it, him leaning into her, deeper, warmer… Lucy shivered just relieving the experience. She enjoyed that one too, even though she didn't react as much, because frankly, she didn't know how to react. It was too unexpected.
I feel like a cheater or something, I kissed both of them without the other knowing. But, technically, they didn't even ask me for permission, they went straight ahead and did it! It was technically stolen from me and without my consent, so, it's not, like cheating…? Right..?
"Shit…." She muttered, crawling over to the other side of the couch and grabbing the blue kite on the other side. "What do I do? Why the hell is this happening to me?" She clung to the kite, holding it to her chest. "Mom…. Duck…. I don't know what to do. God, I wish you were here with me… I miss you guys so much… But… I don't want to join you guys, not yet, I still have to live, you know?" She could hear the kite crinkle in her hands. She loosened her grip. She noticed how torn-up the kite started to look, the edges ripping, large creases and folds and crumples in the paper, the string starting to grow weary… This isn't good, keeping it in my bag and dragging it around like a little kid dragging his blanket around… I should probably keep it somewhere safer, maybe up here… Just in case…
She pulled herself up from the couch and searched around the attic for a secure location for the kite, somewhere safe yet roomy so the kite wouldn't get any further damaged then it already was. Ah! There's a good spot! There was a box, an empty box, just under a wooden table with a bust on top of it of someone's head. Dixon Kent the Third… Heh… sounds familiar, maybe. Lucy pushed away the random thought and placed her kite in the vacant box below, careful that it wouldn't get folded up or scrunched or anything.
She scanned the attic carefully, realizing how bountiful it truly is. You never know what people keep in their attics. Crazy shit can be found in here sometimes, maybe I can find myself a weapon of some sort, like a signature weapon. Dad and Lee use their guns, Chuck has his shovel, and Travis has his pick… Maybe I need my own, personal weapon too, so I can protect myself.
That's what started her to rummage through the attic, searching for her own weapon of choice. She found a few interesting things, hammers, screwdrivers, forks…. But none seemed like anything she'd use.
Then, while examining a kitchen knife set, she found it. A knife set. This is perfect for me! Back before the world went to hell, she loved cooking with her mom and friends, she even considered it to be her profession when she grew up. She could name all the different types of knives in the set, bread knife, boning knife, chef's knife, carving knife, meat cleaver… ah! Here! Steak knives. They were small compared to the bread knife and meat cleaver, but they were pretty sharp-looking, deadly, lethal. She remembered how Duck used to play that violent video game about assassinating people, and how one of the weapons were daggers. Steak knives can be good daggers, right? There are four in this set, but I only need two for now… She pulled out the two steak knives out of the set. She set the knife set back in the box with her kite, in case she needed it again. She put the knives in her bag, she didn't want it to accident stab her leg if it was in her pocket.
"What the hell's with those knives Lulu? Are you going to cook us all a meal or something?" An amused nd sarcastic voice asked. Lucy shuddered, not wanting to deal with him right now.
"Travis… Uh… You're back." She greeted shyly, not sure how to act around him anymore. Why's he here? What's he doing? What the hell is going to happen?
"No shit I'm back." Travis laughed blandly, walking past her and sitting on the couch, looking exhausted. She noticed something off about him, the feeling that was coming out of him. His cheeks were tinged red, and he was giving off an angry vibe that she could just feel.
"Uh…. You okay? You don't seem alright." Lucy said, standing in front of him.
"Well…. Fuck. I don't know. I… I really don't. I mean, I… I fucked up with Ben, I think… Maybe, I don't know, that dude can sometimes be a little bitch. I mean… Fuck…" Travis moaned, frustration flowing through his voice.
"Whatever Ben did, he probably didn't mean it, I mean, you know that guy, you know him so well! You understand him." Lucy said.
Travis stared at her, raising his eyebrows. "Huh, you're defending him now. Weren't you and him on bad terms last I saw you two?"
"Well…." Lucy began to explain, "Things happen. When you left, he confronted me, and we fought for a while, and then we talked, and he explained himself and I understood what he was saying, and then…." Lucy trailed off, not comfortable remembering that conversation.
Travis's eyes harden, looking angrier. "He lied to us. He caused all the shit to happen. How can you forgive him so easily?" He asking in such a sour voice, Lucy wondered what cause him to be in such a pissy mood.
"Well… He had good points, and I listened, and… Well… I don't entirely forgive him I guess, but I understand his intentions, if that mistakes sense." Lucy murmured, trying to think about it more.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Travis's voice nearly rose to a yell, and it made Lucy flinch. She gazed at him with round eyes, mouth dropped. "That guy doesn't deserve forgiveness! He caused so much fucking shit! Damn it Lu! 'Good points'? 'His intentions'? Who gives a crap about that?!"
"Trav… Are you all right?" Lucy asked, her voice starting to shake. Why is he so mad all of a sudden? Did I upset him? Maybe I shouldn't have told him about Ben's secret…
"I'm not all right! My supposed 'best friend', is a lying backstabbing selfish prick!"
"Everything you just said about Ben makes no sense!" Lucy argued. "Lying, well actually, I understand, and backstabbing… well…. Maybe, but selfish? Well, I guess that whole Clem thing this morning might have proved that, but he does it out of fear! Fuck Trav, you know that better than anyone! He's your friend! He doesn't mean harm, he just acts out of fear!"
"Maybe he was my friend, but I don't know anymore." Travis grumbled. "All I know is that guy's a bastard. That's it."
Lucy heart sank. She really liked, maybe even admired, the friendship those two had, watching each other's back no matter what, looking out for each other, thinking about each other's survival. The two polar opposites balancing and surviving with the other. She hadn't seen anyone like that, with that kind of relationship. Seeing it shatter like this was sad. Why? What's in between them now?
"Lucy… About this morning… In the kitchen…" Travis voice had grown quiet at the mention of the location where they had their moment. Their kiss. Lucy felt her cheeks start to grow warm as she held her sweaty hands in one another.
"I know that was really random and weird and out of nowhere, and I might come off as an asshole or something when I did that, but… Well, if you want the truth Lulu, I… I didn't like seeing you cry, so… I stopped you. Right?"
"You… kissed me just to stop me from crying?" Lucy said slowly.
"No, it's not that vain!" Travis said quickly. "I mean, I didn't like seeing you sad! Back at… Back in the forest, when I was bringing you to the train and you started crying and I held you, I felt like shit too. As cliché as it sounds, I can feel your pain Lulu, and, it doesn't make me feel good. I don't like seeing you like that, I liked the happy you, ya know? I just don't want to see you sad." He sighed, his cheeks tomato red, his pupils shifting from her to other things, unable to keep eye contact for long.
"Travis…" Lucy could only gape at his confession. She felt chills as he said that, it was… the sweetest thing a guy had said to her, it was just so… so…
"Lucy…" She wasn't too used to him using her real name, she was getting used to 'Lulu' and 'Lu'. This must be serious... "I think… I like you. And don't misunderstand me when I fucking say it. I mean I like you more than a friend."
That's… That's… She shook her head, starting to take a step back. "Travis… You can't. We're in the middle of-"
"Screw that!" Travis hissed, suddenly standing up and grabbing her hand. His palms were as equally as clammy as her own. "Lucy, I'm fucking dead serious right now."
"Travis…" Her voice was whiny yet firm. "We can't. You can't. I can't."
Travis looked flustered, his cheeks red, sweat now starting to shimmer at his forehead. He tightened his grip on Lucy's hand. "We can. Lucy, come on…" She never saw him like this, acting so anxious, so desperately… this wasn't a side of Travis she usually saw, and it was weird. She always thought of him cool, level-headed, not cracking under pressure at all. But this… She was starting to feel a bit uneasy.
"What about my dad? What about Ben?" She whispered.
"Lucy…"
"Think about them for a moment, this isn't just about us!" Lucy said softly.
Grunting in frustration and being a stubborn ass, Travis pulled her close and just forcibly pushed his lips against her own. Lucy gasped, caught off guard. He held her, one hand on her back, as he carefully pushed her on the couch in a sitting position while he was leaning down, still standing, not breaking the kiss.
She whimpered into the kiss. This wasn't the same as their first one, this was like Ben's rough kiss, only more intense. Travis had more experience than her, so he definitely knew what he was doing when his mouth opened a little and his tongue started to lick against her lips. She whimpered again, still feeling uneasy, still unsure how to react. What do I do? Do I like this or do I push him away? Travis… I…. I… Lucy thoughts swirled in her mind, all the emotions, the feelings, her thoughts… She gulped.
I can't do this. Not now, at least.
She put her hands on his shoulders, an indication for him to stop. He didn't. A little wave of panic began to sweep over her. She had trust in Travis, she knew he wouldn't try anything weird… but the way he was acting right now started to scare her.
"Travis." She breathed out his name as he continued to kiss, her voice muffle. He wasn't taking any breaks."Travis… Wait…" She tried again when he paused for air, but he wasn't noticing, he dove back in, starting to pry open her mouth with his tongue. This is… getting… a bit intense… How… What do I…?
He started to lower her, making her lie down on the couch as he continued the making out with her, her mouth starting to open slightly at Travis's teasing with his tongue. One hand was combing her hair while the other caressed her cheek lightly. Fear began to ebb at her as he hovered above her, not stopping at all. "Trav…. Is…. Stop…." She pleaded breathlessly, her hands on his shoulders, starting to push him. Her legs started to try to kick him off. He didn't comply, his eyes looking far away and his breathing getting heavier, his hands staring to get grip her harder. She trembled, feeling her eyes start to water in worry.
His lustful eyes finally met her scared ones and he was paralysed. His eyes widened, staring at her face, the eyes, the welled up tears, before he pulled himself away from her face, gasping, wiping his mouth. Lucy breathed, able to take in air now and wipe her eyes, but she felt warm as Travis still was on top of her, unmoving, still petrified. He was pale, a hand on his mouth, breathing hard.
"I…. I didn't mean to…. Fuck…. I'm sorry…. I'm sorry Lu… I didn't mean to…"
"YOU FUCKER!"
In a flash, Travis was yanked off of Lucy and slammed violently into the attic wall, probably getting bruised in the process. Lucy shrieked, and scrambled up and onto her feet. She ran to her father, who had one hand at Travis's neck and the other curled into a fist, aimed at his face. Kenny's eyes lighted up in a fiery rage, his moustache twitching angrily, his mouth twisted into a snarl.
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING TO HER?!" He demanded, screaming at him. Lucy was thankful that the attic door had slammed behind them, smothering her father's yells.
"I…. I…" Travis tried to speak, but every attempt lead to Kenny pressing him further into the wall and squeezing his throat harder, making it hard to breath. He gagged, starting to claw at Kenny's hand feebly.
"Dad! Stop this, you're hurting him!" Lucy cried, shaking her father's shoulder. He whipped his head to face her.
"I come up here to check on ya and I find this little horny asshole on top of ya wiping his mouth and you looking like you're going to shit yourself! How the hell am I supposed to stay calm Lu?! What the hell's going on up here?!"
"Dad, Travis and I were talking, and it led to… Well… You know what you saw, but that wasn't anything! It didn't mean anything dad! It won't happen again, I swear, please dad…. You're hurting him, let him go!" Lucy pleaded wildly. With the state her father was in right now, and his well-known temper and protectiveness, she had every right to be scared of what her father might do to Travis.
Kenny slowly looked from her to Travis, squinting. Grumbling, he loosened his grip on Travis, making him able to break free of her father's grasp. He collapsed onto his knees, gasping for air, coughing a bit. Lucy ran to him, checking him. "Are you all right?" She asked, crouching down, worried.
"Just… Need air. I'm fine." Travis gave her a sad smile. Lucy cringed, understanding. She was about to say something to reassure him when her father pulled her back to her feet, pulling her away from Travis.
"You don't go near this fucker." He said. He glared at Travis, looming over him menacingly. Travis didn't cower grandly or flinch, but he did quiver slightly, a small sign of fear escaping him. "Don't fucking do that to my daughter again or else." He growled lowly, giving him a nasty look.
Travis said nothing in response, just stared at him with an equally jagged, hardened stare. Kenny snorted, watching as Travis slowly rose to his feet and dragged himself to the stairs. He opened the attic door, looked at Lucy one last time, his eyes soft, and then just forced himself to leave, regret raw on his face.
As the attic door closed behind Travis, Kenny let out another growl, folding his arms and staring hard enough at her to make her feel like she was being punctured by his gaze. "What the fuck was that?" His cold quiet voice demanded.
Lucy gulped. "Dad, it was nothing serious. We were just talking… And he was upset and I was comforting him and then…" She wondered if she should tell him Travis's confession. She wondered how he would react. No, no that's not smart. She shuddered at the thought of how her father might react.
"How were you going to comfort him?" Kenny asked, scoffing. "Don't tell me when I caught ya, you were… 'Comforting him'."
"No!" Lucy gasped. "No fucking way dad! I wouldn't comfort him like that! That's…. That's…."
"Then what the hell was it?!" He yelled at her, making her wince. "Dammit Lu, how the hell am I suppose to take care of ya if you're getting yourself in deep shit?!"
"Are you saying Travis is dangerous?" Lucy cried, "I thought you trusted him! You said so back at that argument at the road, when we just escaped The Motel, you defended him!"
"That was before I caught him trying to smooch ya! Hell, the way you looked made me think he was going to do… do something! You were scared shitless, weren't ya?" Kenny clenched his fist, letting out predatory snarls. "Maybe I'll put that asshole in his place!"
"No! Dad! Stop it!" Lucy begged, hugging him suddenly. He tensed, his fists loosening. "I know I looked scared, hell, I was a bit scared. But Travis is my friend. I know he wouldn't hurt me. I trust him. He just got… got carried away, okay?"
"Carried away?!" Kenny outraged, starting to wriggle out of her hug. "Are ya saying ya do this often?! That you do this behind my back?!"
"No dad! Crap, stop thinking wildly like that!" Lucy wrapped her arms tighter around him, snuggling into her father's shirt. "Just…. It won't ever happen again dad, all right? Just please… Please… Don't hurt Trav, okay? He didn't mean any harm."
Kenny took big breaths, the agitation in his shoulders dissolving. Lucy internally smiled to herself, knowing that she succeeded in calming down his rage. But for how long?
"You're not allowed to date any boys, ya hear me? Especially during these times! It ain't the time to do this sort of shit!"
"I understand Dad." Lucy murmured.
He sighed, shaking his head, groaning. "I'll trust ya… For now." He said lowly. His voice took a darker turn. "But if I see that boy, doing anything suspicious towards ya, I'm going to personally throw him out of this house and into a fucking field of walkers!"
"Dad…" Lucy started but he already started to usher her to the door.
"Go. Get. Go hang out with Clem or someone, anyone but him! Take a break from that dick."
"Dad!" Lucy complained, but he ignored her. He led her down the stairs. He patted her shoulder once, his eyes growing distant as he stomped down the stairs into the living room. She watched him go, emptiness pooling within her. That was… That was… Weird? I… I don't know…
"Hey, aren't you the redneck's daughter?"
Lucy turned around and stiffened. An older woman, a short-haired blonde with brown eyes and an orange and brown hoodie was examining her. She had a big smirk on her face. "Wow. You look nothing like your father. Which is good. At least the bad looks don't run in the family. Although that moustache, I will say, is pretty badass."
Lucy wasn't sure whether she should have taken that as a compliment or an insult. Instead, she opted for just taking it as neutral and returned her devious smile. "I'm Lucy. Lu for short. Uh, who are you?"
"Molly. No nickname, just Molly." The woman said. "Didn't you hear about me? I saved you father's ass back at the river."
"You did?" Lucy said, blinking. "Oh, well then, thanks."
"Don't mention it." She said. "Is there anything good in the attic?"
"There's a bunch of shit there, but not anything worth taking, unless you need tools or weapons." Lucy informed her as Molly started to open the attic door.
"I've been scavenging for a long time now. Don't be surprised if I find anything good up there that you didn't spot." She chuckled to herself. "Well kid, I'll see ya later." She disappeared up the stairs. Why are we letting her explore and loot our house? Huh, whatever… I guess.
She looked down the narrow hallway that leads to Omid's room. Probably shouldn't go in there, they seem to be busy. Crap, all I want to do right now is to be alone, just for a while, gather my bearings, have a bit of peace, relax for fuck's sake! With everything that's happening, I haven't really lied down and relaxed myself!
She opened one of the doors, and found a bathroom. There was another door on the opposite wall. Intrigued, she walked over and opened that door too, and was a bit surprised when she found a bedroom. That's a weird layout to me. But hell, this is privacy.
She walked past the stacks of boxes and just collapsed onto the bare mattress of the master bed. A bed. It felt like ages since I've slept on one of these. Back at the Inn…
I miss The Motor Inn. Sure, it was shitty with the chores and duties and bandits and Lilly and Kenny fighting the whole time, but at least it was routine. It felt like the new normal, it was a good system. Now… Everything's just unclear… Blurry. Half my family died, I have to deal with new people, I have to deal with Travis's feelings, and I don't even know what to do with Ben! Oh crap.
Travis… What the hell? She'd be lying if she said she wasn't scared of him. But she didn't understand… Why? Why didn't he stop? She never saw him so… Like that. It frightened her, it confused her, she didn't know what overcame him and she didn't want it to happen again, especially with her father close by. I trust Travis… Don't I? What happened to him back there?
Lucy grabbed a stray pillow, buried her head in it, and moaned into it. "Fuucckk. What do I do?" She pulled her head out. "I don't know what to do mom…" She whispered, "I… I need help… I need you back here with me."
"Lucy… Come join us then…"
"No, shut up. I can't. I won't." She insisted, throwing her head down into the pillow once again. She hated it when her mother's voice, her last words, just repeated itself in her mind. "Come join us… Lucy…." Yeah fucking right I will. I can't. I'm not just going to abandon everyone like you did! I mean, you didn't have to do that mom, we would've found a way to move on together, alive! Suicide can't be the answer… It can't be! …. Why mom? Why?
It scared her. Her mom's voice. Whenever her mind was silent, her mom's voice would cut through her thoughts, prompting her to join her. I love you mom, I really do, but please… Stop this… Maybe I should get up... Talk to someone so her voice isn't heard...
"Uh… Lu? Are you okay?"
She lifter her head up. Ben met her eyes, looking like his usual awkward self. A tinge of worry passed through her as she remembered Travis's sole encounter with her, this one seeming similar. No, Ben is different. He… He wouldn't pull something like that, right? But then again, why would he come in here if he didn't want to talk about what just happen between us? She started to unconsciously inch away from Ben as he timidly walked over to the bed to Lucy. No… Ben's different… Ben's different…
"I'm fine Ben, I'm just…. I'm fine." Lucy answered dully, not wanting him to come too close.
Ben frowned. "You don't sound okay. Should I leave you alone or-?"
"No!" Lucy cried, making Ben gaze at her. She didn't want the silence anymore, the loneliness, she needed someone's voice right now, even if it was Ben's. Even after everything that happened so far, she just needed somebody, anybody. She couldn't bear the silence. "Don't leave. It's okay."
"Oh…. Well… I won't then." Ben sounded surprised, hesitating before taking a seat beside Lucy on the bed. Lucy tried her best gulp down her fear. He's not going to do anything Lu…. Relax… "Um… So, how are you right now?" Ben asked.
"I feel like crap." Lucy groaned. "I've been feeling like this for a long time now."
"Yeah… Me too." Ben agreed. "It' just horrible. The guilt's, regrets, nightmares…"
"You have nightmares?" Lucy asked, remembering their conversation long ago about the topic. "Still?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Ben scoffed bitterly. "I have much reason to have them. I caused so much shit…"
"But… You didn't mean it, right?" Lucy asked. She knew she already asked this, but she had to again, she felt like it was necessary.
"Of course I didn't!" Ben cried. "I mean, I… No one would have ever thought it would lead to all of this shit!"
"Yeah… Yeah I know. Sorry for asking." Lucy murmured, bringer her knees to her chest.
"I'm sorry." Ben whispered.
"Ben, I know." Lucy said blandly.
"No Lu, I really am. I… I'm just really sorry. I mean, I fucked up so bad. Not just with you, but with everybody! Even Trav's starting to hate me…" Ben's gaze faltered.
"Hey, why is Travis pissed off at you?" Lucy asked. "I've never seen him that mad at you, I've never even seen you two have a serious fight."
Ben sighed. "I said something stupid. I… I was angry at him, and words slipped out and… and shit happened."
"Well, I don't blame you for getting mad at the guy, he can be a real… pain." Lucy found it hard to finish her sentence as her thoughts were consumed by Travis, his recent 'move' on her. What was that? Why would he do that to me? I thought we were…
"Lucy? Hey, are you all right?" Ben's anxious voice made her snap back to reality.
"Yeah, sorry, I'm fine."
Ben didn't seem too sure of that, his eyes questioning. "Hey Lu… Are… Well, I heard…. Um… That you and… Well… Him…"
"Ben. Talk sentences." Lucy rolled her eyes.
"Sorry." Ben apologised, "It's just… Well. I heard you and Trav… well, uh… kissed?" Lucy felt her face warm up. Ben took notice and started to babble out words quickly. "Shit, I mean, I know it's not my business, but it's about this morning, and how you freaked after our… kiss, and I wasn't sure why, so I asked Trav and he told me and I told him about our kiss and then we started-"
"Whoa whoa whoa. Stop." Lucy picked out a certain part. "You told Trav about us? Our kiss?"
"Um… Yeah?" Ben said nervously. "Was I not supposed too or something?"
But then… Maybe that could explain why he just so suddenly did what he did back in the attic! Is he... Jealous? Of me and Ben? "Is he the kind of guy that gets jealous easily?" Lucy suddenly asked Ben.
Ben sweated. "Well, yeah, Trav is. He gets real jealous real easily. I guess… There was actually this one time where he found his former girlfriend cheating on him and he nearly beat the crap out of the guy. I was there to stop him, but then Travis and her got into a fight and they broke up and…. And…" Ben trailed off, losing his train of thought. "Why are you asking?"
"Nothing, no reason." Lucy looked away. Travis is jealous of me and Ben! But, we're not even a thing, are we?! It was just a damn kiss, it's not like we're engaged or anything! Besides, aren't we all kind of busy trying to survive in an apocalypse right now? Maybe we should focus on our problems first…
"Lu… Uh, I want to know, who would you choose?"
"Huh?" Lucy's attention was regained. "What are you talking about?"
"I mean, I don't want to put you on the spot or anything, but you're not clear on if you like Travis or if you like me or anything like that… I mean…. You know."
Lucy felt herself heat up and turn warm. "Wh-Wh-What?! Why?! I mean I-I-I-"
"I won't get mad if it's Travis." Ben said, although he sounded rather sad as he said this. "I mean, he's a good guy and I won't be mad at you are anything…"
"Ben… Do you know how screwed up I am right now? Do you understand what I'm trying to go through right now? I… I can't decide right now." Lucy said, hoping he'd understand.
By the way Ben's eye glimmered in hurt and his hand tightened, she assumed he didn't. However, he seemed to restrain himself and just let out another sigh. "Lu… No, Lucy, I… I really like you. I do. And I get it if you don't like me because of everything's that happened. But… I really do like you, a lot. And you know, I'd be happy just knowing how you feel, even if it is hate. It'll reassure me, in a way. Please Lucy… I… Please?" Ben edged beside Lucy, sitting right next to her now, his sweaty palms finding her hands and holding it lightly. "I… I… Lu…"
Lucy stiffened, reliving the experience with Travis she just had when his hand touched her own. "I can't… I can't… I'm sorry. It's just too confusing."
His hand held hers harder, but his head didn't move towards her. Instead, he just stared down at the sheets, as if he were studying the wrinkles in them.
"Ben… Please don't feel hurt. You're… My…. Friend. We're friends right now, and that's better than enemies, isn't it?"
"I guess so." Ben brightened up a little, bit his hand didn't loosen. But Lucy didn't care right now, she was okay having him as a friend. She didn't really want to hate anymore, she'd spent enough energy on it. She needed a shoulder to lean on after everything, both metaphorically and literally.
So she leaned on his shoulder, tired. She anticipated Ben would harden, confused. "It's just like back then, right? When I used to get tired I'd lean on you. Remember?"
"Hey… Yeah." Ben smiled, relaxing. Lucy closed her eyes, the weariness of the day making her tired. Maybe I can go to sleep, dream away the stress, even for a little while…
"What the hell are you two doing?"
At first she thought it was her father, so she quickly scrambled awake and separated herself from Ben, who acted like he was glued to her. But she relaxed when she noticed it was just Travis. But that just made her tense up again. Travis!? What the hell is he doing here?!
"Trav?!" Ben yelped. "Uh, I was, we were…"
"What the hell Ben? What were you doing? Snuggling or something?" Travis demanded, walking over to them. "You fucking pervert! You were probably going to do something to her, weren't you?"
"Trav, what are you saying?!" Ben exclaimed, sounding disgusted to be accused of such a thing. "Why would I do that to her?"
"Because you like her! It's an unrequited love you're going for here! You understand that word there Ben? It means that Lulu doesn't love you back!" Travis sneered. Ben stood up, squaring off against Travis.
"How the hell do you know?!" Ben hissed, his anger a surprise to Lucy. "She didn't tell you shit, did she?"
"She's expressed so much hate for you. What's there to love? What is there to love about some sad lonely teenage boy who can't even stand up for himself? There's nothing attractive in that, that's just pathetic."
"Hey." Lucy butted in, standing up. "Trav, maybe that's a little harsh."
"Like you're any better!" Ben complained both him and Travis ignoring Lucy. "The cocky douche bag who thinks he's just the gift from heaven, a fucking womanizer who doesn't give a damn about other people."
"Ben…" Lucy began.
"I do too give a damn about other people!" Travis snapped back. "I saved Clem this morning from a pack of hungry dead folks! What did you do?"
Ben winced, but tried to stay strong. "I'm flawed. I know that. But at least I have the balls to admit my mistakes."
"It took you two whole fucking days to tell me your little secret. And the rest of the group doesn't know, do they? You're a fucking coward."
"And you're such an insensitive dick!"
Lucy tuned them out, although it was pretty hard. What the hell's wrong with these two? Arguing like they were never friends? What the hell happened? I mean, nothing happened but-
…
No fucking way. Is this… Is this my fault? Is this all about… Me? The two kisses. Travis's jealousy and his actions in the attic. Ben interrupting her private time and him pressing for answers on who she liked more. Both of them confessing to her, like it was some sort of competition. Holy crap… But… Then… This is all my fault! I didn't want this to happen, but…
As the two boys kept arguing, Lucy found one good way to shut them up. Granted, this method wasn't the best, but she felt like they both deserved it. Raising her hand, she brought it down hard onto Travis's cheek first, and then repeated the same thing for Ben, two loud smacks! Echoing in the room. They both shrieked in a mixture of pain and surprise, putting their hands to rub the red mark that Lucy left behind. They stared at her in shock.
"Stop arguing about me!" Lucy yelled. "What the fucking hell are you two doing?! Look at you guys! You're fighting, over me! A girl! That's insane! I can't go out with any one of you! My dad will kill you if he figures it out and I'm not just in the right mind to do this junk! I lost so much shit in the last week, you think I really have time for any of this?! What happened to you guys being friends? You know how shitty it feels when you're part of a fucking love triangle that ends up tearing two good friends like you two apart? I feel like a piece of crap for doing that, and I'm not doing it on purpose! It's all you guys! I don't know why me, I'm acting like a bitch all the time! I even just slapped you two right now, doesn't that prove my bitchiness? Please, just stop fighting about me and be friends again! Geez, you guys are dumbasses!" Lucy finished her rant, her foot stomping and her fists clenched.
They both gaped at her, blinking, exchanging looks. "Lu…"
"Fuck off, I'm leaving." Lucy growled, turning away and heading to the door. She slammed it behind her and stormed off. Those dumb pieces of crap! Why the hell are they acting like a bunch of girls trying to gain my attention!? Seriously… I…
Lucy stopped, thinking. I… slapped them. She could feel the weight of her actions on her shoulders. I slapped them! And I yelled at them! Damn it, I lost my fucking temper again and ranted! Shit! What's wrong with me?! I'm such in abuser…
Well… They had it coming. Lucy sighed. Fighting over a girl… sounds like something out of books or TV, especially in this scenario. Can't they realize I'm not ready yet for a relationship yet? Fuck…
But what happens when I am ready? The question was burning in her mind. Then, who would I choose?
Lucy shivered. I don't want to choose. I choose one, I break the other's heart. I can't. I mean, they're both great, but I liked it when we were all friends without all this shitty emotional stuff right now… Damn it… I really do miss the times at The Motor Inn right now.
She marched down the stairs, bumping into Lee. "Lucy! Have you seen Clem?" He asked. His voice was tight, looking twitchy.
"No." Lucy said gruffly, not in the mood to talk to anyone else. She needed alone time. Lee raised an eyebrow, but she just ignored and kept marching on. As she marched to the living room, a familiar scent suddenly hit her nose. She dug her teeth into her lips. Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Dammit!
She turned the corner and saw one the greatest annoyances. Her dad, holding some liquor, getting shit-faced. She scowled. Her dad used to be a heavy drinker when she was younger, ending up hung over and walking around the house in a daze with alcohol reeking on him. Then, after her accident with the elevator, he started to sober up, started to be a better father. Why the hell is he drinking?! That fucking idiot!
She rushed to him. He was sitting on the couch, his cheeks red, small hiccups rumbling his body. She quickly snatched the bottle from him and began to lecture him. "What the hell?! Are you drinking?! You said you wouldn't drink ever again! You promised me, remember that?! You asshole, how the hell's getting drunk going to help us get-"
Her father got up and wrapped his arms around her, burying his head in her shoulder. Lucy turned to stone, unable to continue her lecture. "D-Dad? What the hell-?"
"I missed you…"
"What the hell are you-?"
"I love you so much…." Her father sniffled. Lucy tried to shrink away, but her father held her back in place, an iron grip. Calm down, he's just drunk…. He's just drunk!
"Dad, you just need to sit down, calm yourself, sober up… Okay?" Lucy wriggled her arms out of his arms and started to push him off.
"I don't know what to do anymore Kat…" Lucy felt numb at the mention of her mother's name. Her father whimpered. "I'm lost without you Kat…" He thinks…. I'm mom?!
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she denied them. "No, dad, please, I'm not mom…" Lucy begged feebly.
"We're so screwed." Kenny rasped, a warm tear leaking out of his eyes. Lucy stared in dismay, hoping that she just imagined him say that.
"Dad…?"
Kenny continued. "There ain't no boats… There ain't no boats at all… How am I going to protect Lu? How am I going to keep her safe? There's too much danger, inside and out of our group… I mean, what's the point Kat? We're good as dead, aren't we? There ain't no hope in this world."
"There is hope dad! Come on!" Lucy encouraged, disappointed that even her father was giving up. She could remember her conversation with Travis about hope, how he too had already given up for a better day. Even after all the shit Lucy's been through, there was a small part of her that believed that maybe things would get better. Maybe. Although, my hope's been fading a lot too… I don't know how much longer I can keep this up…
"We're as good as dead, we're as good as dead…" Kenny kept repeating in her ear, chanting the words softly, making her shiver. "Maybe we should… Maybe…"
"Your father will join us soon… He's well on his way…"
No! Lucy panicked. Kenny started to cry, sobbing into her shoulder. "Katjaa… I miss you. I miss Duck. Why…? Why?! Dammit Kat… Why'd you leave us alone? What he hell can I do for Lu now? She's going to die out there, I'm just going to lose another family member! I can't…. I can't…"
Lucy put a hand to her father's head, deciding what to do. I have to give him a reason to go on… Need to give him hope… Got to have hope…Right?
Right? Doubt was flickering in her mind.
"Don't abandon her, don't give up, okay? There has to be a way… Stop drinking, do something! Keep… Keep Lucy close, don't leave her, don't… Don't leave me dad, please… Please!" Lucy started to shake. "Dad… Why do you keep this all in? Why don't we ever talk or anything about this instead of dealing with it while you're drunk? Dad you dumbass… talk to me next time! "
"Kat…" Kenny murmured. "I love you. I love you." He nuzzled her shoulder. "Don't…. Don't leave me again… Please…" Her shoulder was starting to turn wet with his tears.
I'm not mom… He misses her… I miss her… Oh fuck… Lucy choked on a sob, but she was trying so hard to gulp it down, she cried too much already, she can't, she shouldn't, cry anymore. He held her close, Lucy was locked in her father's strong arms.
After a few moments, her father was now just mumbling drunken words, his hug losing its strength. He forgot about his tears, and was now just randomly blabbering. Lucy started to guide him to the couch. "Just sit down, just sober up, okay? Sit down…"
"Katjaa… Remember back at The Inn? Thos nights in the RV?" Kenny laughed somberly, poking her shoulder. Lucy started to place him on the couch, sitting him down. She didn't respond, she didn't know how to respond. "We were so stoked for getting the boat. I know it weren't your cup of tea, but you agreed it's for the kids, right? Always the kids." Lucy began to pry his arms off of her. Kenny continued to ramble. "How's Duck? Is he making a fuss? That little shitling… always the troublemaker… Is he okay?"
"Dad… I'm going now, okay? Just it there and stay still." Lucy ordered, ignoring his voice as she stood up straight as her father continued to talk, swaying in his seat.
"Lu… Lu, Lu, Lu… Lucy's growing up too fast, too fast!" Kenny said, catching her attention. "She's not waiting for her old man! One day, she's going to grow up, like you said, but growing up takes a while and we don't have the time…. How long do you think she can last Kat?" Kenny looked directly at her face. Lucy stared at him, eyed widening.
"You… don't think she'll last?"
"That girl…" Kenny's voice was diminishing in sound. "That girl going through too much Kat. I have to protect her, but I don't know if I'll do her any good. Hell, she's too young… too young! Can't make her own damn decisions properly, caught her with a boy not too long ago! Fuck… I don't understand… teenagers… Still… She's got spirit, don't know if that'll help." Kenny mumbled drunkenly.
"You didn't answer me! You asked me how long she'll last!" Lucy looked at him intently. "Do you think…? She'll die?" That I'll die?
"I don't want it that way… But it's going to happen eventually. All I can do is prevent it for as long as I can… And then… Maybe I'll catch up with y'all…"
Lucy backed away from her father, horrified. She never knew just how hopeless he truly become, how resigned he was. Dad… Stop… Don't say that, don't say those kinds of things… Please Dad….
She walked away from her father, trying to ignore what he said. Hell, she wanted to ignore everything today, Travis, Ben, her father, her mom and brother…. What the hell's wrong with everything?! Why…. Why?! I can't… I can't do this… I…. I…. Dad… I can't deal with this anymore!
Unable to think clearly anymore, Lucy ran. She ran up the stairs, opened the attic door, climbed in, shut it tight, and crawled to the box where she hid Duck's kite. She was thankful Molly wasn't here anymore and she didn't touch the kite or the knives. She took the kite out and clung to it desperately, holding it to her chest. The sob kept in her was chest was starting to escape her. "Damn it!" She cursed, "Fuck! FUCK!"Her shoulders were shaking, her body was quivering. I can't do this anymore… I can't…. I can't….
"Lucy… Come join us…"
My bag. The knives. They're still up here, they're just beside the couch… She stared at the couch. The couch where Travis kissed her. She pushed away the thought and scampered slowly to her bag. She hesitated, staring at the bag, the pouch where she hid the knives. No! I can't even think such a thing! I can't… I won't…. Mom….
Her fingers were already on the zipper, playing with the small metal. I… I can't… Please mom…
She kicked the bag away, gasping. Duck's kite was still tight in her hand. She hugged it closer. She bowed her head, grunting out small sobs. Her whole body was now just a vibrating mess, her tears starting to stream down. She was starting to breathe irregularly, gasping and hiccupping as water kept falling from her eyes. "Damn…. Damn…. Fuck my life…." Lucy muttered, feeling herself fall deeper and deeper into some pit of despair. She felt like she was falling, falling hard, falling somewhere dark and lonely where no one could find her, somewhere hopeless. She closed her eyes, her chest starting to ache. She had to calm down, she had to clear her mind… She had to forget… Even for a little while…
"Lucy…. Join us…." Her mom invited, her voice toxic.
She found herself starting to open her bag.
It felt like an eternity, they way they both just stood there, unable to say a word anymore. Their cheeks still stinging a bit, a tinge of red marking them, their eyes wide and staring at the door slammed. They both were just in a state of shock.
It took a few minutes before Travis could form words. "She…. She's pretty upset." He finally said.
"Yeah…" Ben's said, rubbing his cheeks, his eyes still a bit fiery. "She… She hit us."
"Maybe we deserved it." Or at least, I do. Travis understood if Lucy was pissed at him, or afraid of him. He was pissed and scared of himself too, because he didn't know what happened to him when that happened. It was so sudden, something took over him, it goaded him… to…. To…
The door suddenly swung open. Travis thought it was Lucy again, about to apologise or something, but no. It was just Lee. He was out of breath and sweating, looking like a truck full of panic had hit him. "Have either one of you seen Clementine?"
"No." The two teen boys said in unison. Lee growled, glaring at Ben.
"Ben, I gave you one job when I left her, take care of Clementine. Then she shows up on River Street looking for me? What the hell happened?"
"Hey, don't out that all on me." Ben said with confidence that took Travis and Lee by surprise. There was some sassiness to his words, the same sass used against Travis. "Omid took a turn for the worse, and I helped toss the place up for supplies. I'm sorry but I'm doing the best I can here."
Lee took a few predatory steps towards Ben. Ben noticed and started to stutter. "I-It was frantic, and things got a b-bit… crazy while you were gone. Clem was everywhere, with Lu, then with Christa… It was hectic!"
"Don't be sorry, just tell me where the hell she is now!" Lee snapped. Ben flinched.
"Last I saw… She was with that new girl… Molly was her name?"
Lee said nothing, just quickly walked out of the room in a dash. Ben and Travis watched him leave.
"Ben… You've got quite the attitude… huh?" Travis mumbled.
Ben didn't answer, just stared at his feet. Travis didn't know what to say. What could he say? This was supposed to be his best friend, yet he couldn't find it in himself to talk to him like he used to.
"I… I'm sorry." Ben said, making Travis listen. "About that crap I said. About your dad. I mean… I didn't mean it. And… If it makes you feel better… You can… You can, if you really… Lucy…" Travis's eyes grew wide.
"Ben…" Travis said slowly. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah… I… I am." Ben whispered.
Travis frowned. "No, you're not okay with this. I can tell. Ben… As much as I'd like to say yes… Fuck… I can't. Especially after I…" He paused, the regret piling up in his throat, making it hard to breath.
"Did something happen?" Ben raised an eyebrow.
Travis groaned. "I… You're right, I'm a dick, an asshole."
"I didn't mean it too badly…" Ben said.
"No, Ben, I really am a dick. I… I was with her, up in the attic, and I was talking to her… And it led to… I kissed her again, but this time…. She wanted me to stop… I didn't stop… I scared her and myself… And Kenny saw me do that… He thought I was forcing her…. And I think I was…"
"Travis…." Ben gasped, "Oh shit! Is it my fault?! Fuck, you were jealous, weren't you?! That's why Lucy asked me about your jealousy! Shit, I'm sorry!"
"Why are you apologising?" Travis scoffed, "I'm the one to blame here."
"But if it weren't for me making you jealous…" Ben said.
"Stop it Ben…. Stop…" Travis said. "Fuck… I screwed up… I screwed up so badly…"
"That makes two of us, doesn't it?" Ben joked sadly.
"Heh…. It does, I guess." Travis laughed along in a dull tone. They both shared an empty laugh.
"Trav…. We're friends, right?" Ben asked when they stopped.
"…. We are." Travis replied.
"And… This whole thing with Lucy, is that going to change it?"
"I… I don't know. I don't want it to." Travis admitted.
"Yeah…" Ben agreed, "But, she said she doesn't want any of us. Or, not yet anyways. Maybe we could… all of us, let's just be friends? If that's possible?"
Travis kicked at the ground. "Yeah… Yeah that sounds good. Friends." The words were distasteful in his mouth.
Ben sighed. "You're not happy with that, are you?"
"No." Travis grumbled. "Fuck, I'm sorry Ben, but…. This is fucking annoying me, this whole situation."
"Maybe it's annoying all of us." Ben said, "I mean, Lucy was pretty upset with us."
"Then we'll both confront her, once and for all about this thing. Ask her what she thinks about all this." Travis said, "We can't decide this kind of thing by ourselves."
"Yeah, okay." Ben agreed. He and Travis exchanged one final look before opening the door and stepping out into the hallway.
The house was eerily quiet. Travis and Ben quietly walked around, their eyes scanning everywhere. Travis knew that Christa and Omid were in the room still, Chuck had disappeared somewhere, Lee was looking for Clem, who was with Molly doing who knows what, and Kenny… Where is Kenny?
Ben flinched, staring at the ceiling. He prodded at Travis. "I can hear something up there… In the attic!"
Travis frowned. I don't really want to go back up there… After what happened… Fuck… I really am an asshole. Ben seemed to read his mind. "Hey, come on, you can control yourself this time, can't you?"
"Self-control? Me? I don't know…" Travis murmured.
Ben smiled, "If you're really going to be stubborn about this, how about I go up there first, and call you if it's her up there."
"That's good, that sounds good." Travis said. Ben patted his shoulder, and then opened the attic door and climbed in. Travis waited as Ben slowly climbed in. He really liked her, he really did, but after what he did… He wasn't sure if she liked him anymore. He closed his eyes, scolding himself mentally. What the hell's wrong with me? Why did I do that to her? I like her… I want her to like me… She liked Ben still after everything he did, and I wanted to be the only one… I wanted to get her attention…But not like that… I shouldn't have done that… I'm such a fucking bastard.
"What the hell?!" Ben cried, his footsteps thudding on the floor above Travis. "What the hell are you doing?!"Ben cried out again. Travis opened his eyes, shocked out of his trance. He ran up the attic stairs, the frightened whimper of Ben encouraging him. He got to the top and froze.
Ben had made Lucy get on her feet, holding her up by the shoulders. Lucy was limp in Ben's hold, her green eyes were rimmed with tears, her mouth open, and her hands shaking terribly. "I… I didn't mean to… It just happened…" Lucy mumbled. "I don't know what came over me… It just happened."
Travis didn't get it. Why was Lucy saying that? Why was Ben panicking? What happened? Then Travis's eyes wandered down, too Lucy's red backpack. A compartment was open, and something silver gleamed in it. And just beside the open pocket, was the blue kite and an abandoned, knife. Why the hell is there a knife out?
"What the hell's going on?" Travis asked, feeling rather dumb that he still didn't understand.
"I didn't mean to do anything…" Lucy continued to say, "It just happened, it just happened!"
"She had that knife in her hands." Ben's voice was a calm rage. "She was holding it… Looking like she was going to stab herself."
"WHAT?!" Travis gawked at Lucy. She shook, looking down, tears still falling.
"Everything is screwed up… Mom kept telling me to do it, mom's not leaving me alone… Dad's going soon, and you two… I don't even know what the fuck's going on!" She hiccupped, her voice raspy.
"So what were you going to do? Let yourself bleed up here to death? Let all of us, even you dad, just find you in a bloody pool, dead?!" Travis accused.
"My dad's a hopeless drunk!" Lucy spat out. "He's fucking gone! He doesn't believe anymore in anything! He even thinks that I'm going to die!"
"Well aren't you proving his point with what you were about to do?" Ben asked.
"I didn't want to! I didn't mean it!" Lucy yelled, "Mom kept telling me to do it, she's telling me to do it!"
Ben and Travis looked at one another in discomfort. "You're mom…. She's dead. Whatever you're hearing, it's not her." Ben explained softly. Lucy shook her head violently, forcing her way out of Ben's grasp. She walked away from them, almost tripping but leaned on the wall for support. Travis and Ben slowly started to approach her, carefully.
"Before…. Before she died… She told me, she told me to join her when I'm ready…" Lucy's voice was scarce. "She wants me to do this, those were her last words to me! This is what she wants!"
They both stopped walking. Ben's blue eyes were wide in horror. "That's horrible…" He murmured. How could her mother just say that? And those were her final words? Jesus… Travis thought.
"It's not want your dad wants, what Ben and I want! What the hell are you thinking?!" Travis hissed. "You're not dying."
"You two are just going to fight over me, continue to snap at each other's neck every chance you get and fight! It's hopeless! Dad's hopeless! You're all just… Just hopeless!" Lucy voice was getting higher in pitch.
"Not anymore." Ben said firmly. "Travis and I talked… We… We agreed to stop fighting, all right? You don't have to worry about is." Ben gave Travis a hard stare. Travis returned it, contemplating. Well… I like her, and I told her that seeing her sad makes me sad… So by doing this… This will help her. Geez… well… This all for her so it's okay…
"Lulu, its fine, just calm down, relax, and we'll pretend that whole knife thing didn't happen, okay?" Travis said calmly. Ben and him began to advance. Lucy gazed at them for a while, before her gaze lighted up and she backed up into a wall.
"Don't... Please don't come any closer!" She said, looking at Travis as she spoke. Travis felt like throwing up as she said that.
"Come on Lu… We're all friends here, no one's going to hurt you…" Ben soothed.
"Yeah Lulu… Please, you know I didn't mean it." Travis pleaded.
She stared defiantly at him. "How do I know you won't try it again?" Her lack of trust in him made him feel queasy.
"I won't! I swear to you Lulu, I will never try that kind of thing ever again! I promise you!" I fucking mean this Lu… I fucking mean this…
She inhaled, her back still pressed against the wall. Her arms withdrew into her body, both her hands holding one another, close to her heart. She slid down to her knees, her head hung down. She hunched over, her body starting to shudder. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry… The slaps, the yelling, the knife… I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it…" She said hoarsely, her cheeks moist with tears.
Ben looked at Travis and Travis looked at Ben. They both nodded, knowing that they both had the same thing in mind. Walking up to her, they both on opposite sides, sat next to her. She stiffened, looking warily at both of them, her hands tightening. Smiling nervously, Ben lightly grabbed the back of her head and let it rest on his shoulder. Travis then took both of her hands and held it in his own, not squeezing or anything. Lucy was petrified, her eyes switching from each boy as they both edged a bit closer to her, appearing bit squashed in between them.
"What…?" She began.
"You can cry if you want to still, we're here for ya." Ben said, still wearing that nervous smile. Lucy blinked, still switching from him to Travis. She gave Travis an extra-long stare, a bit of fear in her eyes.
"I promised, I'm not going to do anything." Travis said solidly.
Lucy looked down, her eyes empty. She dug herself deeper into Ben's shoulder, her fingers lightly brushing against Travis's palms. Her eyelids were heavy, falling, covering her tear ducts, making her grow limp. Travis and Ben waited patiently, watching her yawn, snuggling between them, her muscles relaxing. A fuzzy warm feeling invaded Travis's core as he watched the girl sleep, looking at peace foe the first time in a long while.
And so the Ben versus Travis match is ended due to Lucy's condition. :O Well, that's okay. But technically, their feud isn't exactly over yet... more like put on hold or something like that...
Relationships are mended, relationships are breaking... These relationships are going to be tested in the next chapter. :D
Next chapter is the chapter I've been wanting to write for a long time. Something amazing and great is happening. I'll give you a hint on it, the long-awaited gore is next... Hehehe... Also, we're going to spend some time in Crawford, and we all know what happens in Crawford, but... I've changed something in the plot... :P
The next chapter's name isn't reassuring... But it is strange, isn't it? :D
Next Chapter: 'Unknown, Undead, Uno.'