'Ich hab die Schnauze voll von diesem beschissenen Land!' Grimmjow yelled out viciously as he stormed up to the traffic crossing. A young woman with short silvery hair who was also present jumped at his outburst and stared at him in amazement. He glared at her. 'Was glotzt du so?'
'I'm sorry, I don't quite understand what you're saying,' she said in a slightly frightened tone. Grimmjow just threw his hands in the air and stomped across the street when the traffic light indicated it was safe to walk.
'Everyone is useless around here!' he began to think angrily. 'Nobody fucking understands me! They think they can help but they just don't get it! Nobody asked for their opinion, nobody wanted to know their opinion but nobody can fucking hell keeping their fucking opinion to themselves! It's fucking PISSING OFF!'
He halted suddenly and slammed his foot into the brick wall, his bag falling off his shoulder to land on the pavement. He was breathing hard, his thoughts swirling like a tornado and his vision slightly blurry. He better not be crying again, he better fucking not be crying again.
He let out a choked sob and buried his face in his hands, his body facing the wall. This couldn't be happening to him right now. And it wasn't about crying. It was not even about Japan. It was about Ichigo.
Did Ichigo think he liked pushing him away? Of course not. Nothing could stop him from sharing everything in his life with the boy. He'd grown quite fond of him actually. Ichigo…completed him. Like there had been a gap in his body since he arrived in Japan. No, since…since his mother and father had started fighting. Stark was great but he couldn't fill that gap. Nel was too young to even understand. His friends were helpful when he was depressed but none of them could fit the enormous gap inside him.
And then along came Ichigo. The boy who literally would stop at nothing to get his attention, to reach out to him. He didn't like him. But all that time he had been bent on disliking the boy, he failed to realize that that gap wasn't there anymore. It had finally been filled. But by who? And it hit him like a tonne of bricks.
Ichigo had been the one to fill that gap. He had been the one to finally make Grimmjow realize that there was more to life than just his family and his friends. And his Vater. There was so much more. All he had to do was let Ichigo show him that. And for a time, he did. Until today. Or to be more specific, yesterday.
Ichigo wasn't supposed to see that side of his family. He wasn't supposed to see that side of Aizen's. It was supposed to be Grimmjow's secret. There was nothing wrong with it. Aizen can do what he pleased. After all, he was his Vater. But the look on Ichigo's face, Ichigo's reaction, it just changed his entire perspective. He didn't know what to think about it afterwards. He didn't know if he approved of his Vater doing that to him anymore. It didn't matter what Stark said. Stark hated Vater. Of course he would say things about him. But having Ichigo think that…it hurt.
Hence he lost it at Ichigo. He insulted him and started pushing him away all over again. It was a reflex now. Someone got too close to the truth and he would start pushing them away. But for the first time, Grimmjow regretted doing that. For the first time, he thought maybe he was wrong to do that to someone so special to him.
He inhaled sharply and scrubbed his face clean to gaze up at the building he had been facing. His apartment.
Ichigo was special to him. How could he do that to him? And then…and then Ichigo had to go and say that. It made Grimmjow's ears burn as it echoed in his head.
'Fine! I don't care! You can do whatever you want, you baka!'
He flinched as he remembered it. His hand shook as he held the banister and walked up the stairs to his floor. How could Ichigo say something like that? Did he hate Grimmjow for doing that? Well, he couldn't blame the teen. He would hate himself for doing that too. But…it was Ichigo. Ichigo wasn't supposed to say things like that. Ichigo was…Ichigo was…
He didn't want to think it. He refused to see the boy as his crutch. As his savior. It was wrong to depend on someone. He didn't need anyone. He just needed his Vater.
He felt an unexpected chill run up his spine and he felt like crying. He simply hated this. This country had changed everything: his way of life, his relationship with his Vater, the new people who had changed his life forever…
He glanced up quickly when he heard a loud banging coming from Ichigo's apartment. His body jerked forward as if he wanted to rush in to see what was wrong. But he refrained himself. It was probably Ichigo (his heart fluttered) being clumsy or one of his sisters.
Another banging followed and, this shocked Grimmjow, an anguished cry. That wasn't normal.
He couldn't hold it in any longer and scrambled to Ichigo's apartment, twisting the handle to find, thankfully, that it was open. He pushed the door forcefully as he rushed into the place, his heart beating frantically and only thing running through his mind was a prayer to keep Ichigo safe. What he saw made his stomach turn.
There was Ichigo lying helplessly on the floor and his father looming over him with a wooden lamp in hand. He also noticed that Ichigo's ankle was twisted at an awkward angle. He felt his anger flare.
'Get,' he hissed angrily, causing both men to look up in bewilderment at him, 'avay from him.'
The blonde man sneered.
'Whose gonna make me?' he challenged and raised the lamp higher. Ichigo flinched, which just increased Grimmjow's fury.
'If you don't I vill make you,' Grimmjow threatened. The man laughed now, stepping over Ichigo to stroll up to Grimmjow.
'And how're you going to do that, German boy?' he exclaimed cockily and smirked. Grimmjow held his ground and balled his hands into fists.
'I'll tell my parentz,' Grimmjow said smoothly. 'If you lay one finger on Ichigo, I vill make zure ve call the copz az vell.'
'Oh? How do you know my family hasn't tried that and it hasn't worked?'
Grimmjow fixed him with a steely glare.
'You are not myVater,' he said icily. 'I vould'nt care if they even beat you up az they take you to jail.'
The man scowled at him. Grimmjow crossed his arms as if daring him to try something. The blonde glanced at Ichigo's inert figure and then at Grimmjow, as if contemplating on what to do. He growled angrily and thrust the lamp across the room so that it clattered loudly against a wall. Grimmjow didn't even flinch.
'Have it your way, boy,' he growled and stalked past him. 'I'm in a good mood so you're lucky.'
As soon as Grimmjow heard the door bang behind him, he raised a trembling hand to cover his face. He couldn't believe he had just done that. That man could easily have beaten Grimmjow to a pulp without a care. How the hell was he able to do that without even backing down?
He heard a groan and, realizing that Ichigo was hurt, rushed to his aid.
'Oh, Ichigo,' he murmured in despair.
Ichigo hissed in pain.
'That hurts!' he cried out and clutched his ankle, trying to wrench it from Grimmjow's hand. The German held on firmly.
'Of courze it doez,' Grimmjow sighed and continued to wrap bandages around it. 'You eszprained it.'
'Fuck,' Ichigo whispered and finally let go to watch Grimmjow's head as he tended to him. He couldn't believe his eyes when the German had burst into his apartment and threatened his father without a hint of fear. Even Ichigo had a speck of fear of his father but Grimmjow was totally fearless. He couldn't help admiring the blue-headed foreigner for that. He cleared his throat.
'Listen, uh, Grimmjow?' Ichigo said uncertainly. 'About today? Can we…can we forget about it? I didn't mean anything I said and…I don't want to lose you, okay?'
Grimmjow fixed him with his mesmerizingly sky blue eyes. A slow smile spread across his face.
'I'm zorry, too, Ichigo,' he said softly and went back to bandaging the boy's injured ankle. Ichigo glowed and he felt something warm settle in his stomach. It felt nice to see Grimmjow smile like that, especially at him.
'Ugh, you look terrible!' Grimmjow exclaimed in exasperation as he inspected Ichigo's bruised face. 'How could you let him do thiz to you?'
'Just like how you let your father do that to you?' Ichigo suddenly thought and today's phone conversation rushed into his mind. The warm feeling was gone to be replaced by a cold stone.
He watched Grimmjow as the boy rubbed some soothing cream on his bruises from the first aid kit Ichigo had told him was in the cupboard. The boy looked so happy and carefree. Could this really be the boy whose father…
'Grimmjow?' he couldn't stop himself from saying.
'Hm?' He was not dabbing alcohol in Ichigo's open wounds.
'I know everything.'
Grimmjow froze. But then he resumed his ministrations until he was done and threw the alcohol-soaked cotton bud. He fixed Ichigo with an expressionless stare.
'I don't know vhat you are talking about,' he said simply and proceeded to pull out Bandaids. Ichigo sighed and grabbed his hand, forcing the boy to give him a perplexed look.
'I called Stark,' Ichigo uttered. Those three words changed Grimmjow. His face went white and his body tensed. He clenched his hands into fists until his knuckles were white. Ichigo almost thought he had forgotten how to breath. Should he dare continue?
'He…' he licked his lips in hesitation, '…he told me everything, Grimmjow.'
Grimmjow stared at Ichigo's feet for a second. Then, he immediately stood up, still staring at the floor.
'I have to go,' he murmured. Shocked, Ichigo watched as the boy turned around to leave but not before he quickly grabbed the German's hand, pulling him back.
He couldn't let Grimmjow leave after that. There was still so much to be said, so much to be learned. And Ichigo had had enough. He wasn't going to wait anymore. He wanted answers.
'You can't keep running away from this, Grimmjow,' Ichigo said desperately, trying to convince the boy to stay. 'You can't expect it to go away. It'll…it'll keep coming back to haunt you and…he's your father! How can you let him-!'
'Halt die Klappe!' Grimmjow burst out and, pulling away from Ichigo, he turned around to face the teen with burning eyes. 'People are alwayz zaying that to me! Eztark iz alvayz zaying that to me! I am zick of hearing it! I know vhat he doez iz vrong but he iz my Vater! How can I abandon him? How can I…esztop him from doing zomething he likez?'
'Are you shitting me?' Ichigo said incredulously before he could stop himself. He just couldn't believe what he was hearing right now. He didn't know it was this bad! 'Stop him from doing something he likes? This isn't an addiction like eating too many sweets or watching too much tv! For fuck's sake, Grimmjow, your father is fucking molesting you! Can't you see how wrong that is?'
'When you love zomeone you can't zay no to them,' Grimmjow said quietly. 'I love Vater and he iz kind to me. I am not going to leave him juzt becauze you think it'z vrong, Ichigo.'
'Grimmjow, please,' Ichigo pleaded. He hated this. This was getting nowhere. He felt like Grimmjow was slipping further and further away from him. 'You have to understand what I'm trying to say! If you let something continue it will only get worse! Please understand!'
'Look at your own family firzt, Ichigo!' Grimmjow bit out angrily. Ichigo froze. 'Vhy don't you try to make them underztand! Your Vater haz no right to beat your Mutter up like that! Vhy don't you esztop that? Vhy? And then he came and beat you up today! At leazt my Vater lovez me, Ichigo! (he jabbed a finger at his own chest) At leazt my Vater vouldn't dare hit me or hurt me! Zo look at your own family before you think to criticize my family, Ichigo!'
Ichigo's eyes softened. He wasn't going to cry. That was a low blow but he wasn't going to cry. Because Grimmjow just made him realize something. Something that practically made the two of them twins because of their situations.
He rose slowly until he was level with Grimmjow. The two of them stared at each other for a minute, one pair of blazing sapphires and the other calm pools of honey. Then, without warning, Ichigo pushed Grimmjow down.
The German yelped in surprise and tried to get up but Ichigo pushed him down again and straddled his hips. The boy began to thrash about violently, trying to kick Ichigo off but Ichigo held on firmly. He may be injured but he still had enough strength to pin the German down.
Grimmjow finally gave in and eyes him menacingly.
'Vhat the fuck are you doing?' he hissed. Ichigo didn't answer but instead, began to take his shirt off. He heard the German's breath hitch and he didn't know whether it was because of the intimate position they were in or because it reminded him of something that didn't exactly have pleasant connotations. Either way, Ichigo continued until his entire shirt was off. Right in the center of his chest was a giant bruise that was a poppy purple. Ichigo didn't touch it but he indicated to it and Grimmjow's eyes widened in shock and in pain at the sight of it.
'My father hit me here,' Ichigo spoke softly. 'And it hurt a lot. It was pretty close to my heart. He's always hurting us like that. Always hurting our hearts. Which is why we never try to stop him. I know the only way I can stop him is if he stopped hurting me here all the time. Which is why I finally decided to fight him today. I had enough of being helpless, Grimmjow.'
He now leaned forward and placed a hand to Grimmjow's temple.
'Your father may not hurt you physically like mine, Grimmjow,' he continued. 'But he does hurt you. He hurts you here (he traced a finger along Grimmjow's temple), and here (he now touched the German's trembling chest right over his heart) and he also hurt you in another intimate place, Grimmjow.'
He now placed his hand on Grimmjow's stomach. The boy's eyes widened as he stared at Ichigo's hand and then at Ichigo's face. They widened even further when they saw those warm brown eyes pool with tears. Ichigo just couldn't help himself now. The teen clutched the edge of Grimmjow's shirt.
'I know my family is messed up, Grimm,' Ichigo choked. 'But whose family isn't? We can't fix it if we ignore it because it only gets worse. And then, when it gets worse, what do we have? We have nothing to be proud of because we've lost it all. And I don't want that to happen to you, Grimm. You don't deserve that.'
Ichigo lowered his head so that they touched foreheads and he cupped Grimmjow's face in his hands.
'You're special to me, you know that?' he murmured, his eyes closed. 'And seeing you hurt, I get hurt. If you cry, I cry. If you laugh, I laugh. I know I can't ever expect you to trust me enough to let me help you with this but don't shut me out completely, okay? Don't think I don't deserve to know anything about you. Because you mean the world to me and I would do anything for you. I just want you to understand that…that…ugh, Grimmjow, I don't want to change you but I also don't want you to get hurt-!'
At that moment, Grimmjow smashed his lips against Ichigo's, silencing the teen. Ichigo's eyes flew open and he watched as the German kissed him passionately with his eyes scrunched shut tightly like he himself didn't know what he was doing. Ichigo felt like laughing and crying at the same time. But, instead, he opted to wrap his arms protectively around the German and roll over on their side so that he could bring their bodies closer.
Grimmjow was warm and just like when they hugged, they fit each other perfectly even when they kissed. Like it felt right to have Grimmjow's arms around his waist. It felt right to run his hands through those silken blue locks. And it felt right running his tongue across those petal soft lips to seek entrance into that hot, sweet mouth.
He suddenly rolled again so that he was one top, ignoring the pain stabbing at his ankle because the euphoria of kissing Grimmjow was just too great. He wanted more. He rubbed his body shamelessly against the teen's, earning him a gasp and a shudder. Grimmjow tightened his arms around Ichigo's waist. He wanted Grimmjow so, so badly right now. He just wanted to-
'Hello! Ichigo? You home?' called a voice from the hall and in stepped Isshin. 'Oh good, you're home! I was wondering-!'
He stopped in his tracks when he saw the spectacle before him. The two teens had stopped making out to stare awkwardly at the adult.
'Uh…is this bad time?' Isshin said in confusion.
Epic cliffhanger, ne? XD
I am done, I am done! No more awkwardness and thinking, 'GAH! Must finish this chapter! NOOOO!'
Three more left now! Isn't everyone excited? I know I am! :D
TRANSLATIONS:
-Ich hab die Schnauze voll von diesem beschissenen Land!: I've fucking had it with this country!
-Was glotzt du so?: What are you staring at?
-Halt die Klappe!: Shut up!