Author Note: Well, it's finally here! The new chapter! I'm so sorry it's been so long, I hope you forgive me, and I hope you all like this new addition to the story.
Also, it might pay to reread the original chapters if you're coming straight to this chapter after not having read the story for quite some time, as I've made some significant editing changes to the previous chapters that might have slightly changed the flow of the story a bit (though the story itself is essentially the same).
Many thanks to Elza and Giovane Sorella for their friendship, encouragement and interest over the years, and thanks to Lierin, AnnRiceAdmirer144, Igbogal, Command2Conquer, Rae Roberts, Flair for McNair and buggaboo1 for reviewing. To those of you who offered constructive criticism I took on your advice in the editing of the previous chapters so hopefully the story as a whole will be at a much better standard than it was before. Thanks also to Nianna for your interest.
Chapter 11 - The Pyjama Party
"Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring happy bells across the snow -
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, Ring in the new."
- Tennyson
It seemed for all the world that Tamara had spent her train journey back to Hogwarts alone, but Snape had not been derelict in his duties to keep her safe. Unbeknownst to her, he had been on the train with her on the return journey to Hogwarts. He had watched her board unseen and had boarded himself after she was safely in her compartment. Minutes before arriving at the Hogsmeade station he had disapparated from the train and onto the platform where he watched from the shadows as she boarded the awaiting carriage and then he made his own way back to the castle on foot.
It had been a difficult journey for him, not in the sense of physical threats, but in emotional turmoil. Seeing her after what had happened the night before was difficult. He felt guilty, and confused, but also embarrassed. Suddenly he realized he hated the war, and he hated what he had to do for the cause. After the dark and lonely life he had led he had finally allowed himself to care for someone who brought a little light into his life. But the war had cost him that, and he hated it.
He recalled a conversation with Dumbledore. The old man had told him that she would understand, and even if he dared to hope that she might, and that there might be a second chance for him when all this was over, he knew in his heart that she didn't deserve that sort of life. Her part in the war put enough weight on her shoulders and no matter how he felt about her, he simply could not justify adding to that weight. So it was with a heavy heart that he made his way back to the castle and the cold and empty chambers that awaited him.
The morning after Christmas dawned crisp and clear. The sun rose over the turrets of the castle, glinting on the windows and the thin layer of snow that had crystallised on the roof, lying untouched over the vast castle grounds.
Tamara lay awake, staring into the shadows of the room she shared with Jez, long before her friend stirred. She dreaded it. She didn't want to face the questioning she knew she was coming, and she couldn't bear the thought of facing her friends' pitying looks.
When she sensed Jez stirring, she turned over and hid herself in the sheets, pretending to be asleep. A few minutes later, she heard Jez get up and leave the dormitory, unknowingly allowing Tamara the discretion she ached for.
Some hours later, Tamara woke again. She couldn't remember having fallen asleep again, but she felt better for it all the same. The time was now 10.15am. Was she ready to face the day? The question seemed redundant. She would have to face it whether she was ready for it or not.
After exchanging her pyjamas for more appropriate daytime attire, Tamara headed down the stairs to the Ravenclaw common room. The room was almost empty as most students had gone home for Christmas. Amongst the students who were staying at Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays were Adelaide, who sat huddled up on a beanbag with a book, a couple of second year students who Tamara did not recognize, and Thalia and Jez, who sat at the table playing a game of exploding snap.
At first the two girls didn't notice Tamara enter the room, leaving Tamara to stand near the bottom of the stairs feeling more than a little awkward. It was Adelaide who noticed her first.
"Good morning, Tamara. Merry Christmas." She called out, softly. The gaze that Tamara shared with Adelaide in that moment told her that her blonde friend wanted to ask how she was but that she didn't want to embarrass Tamara in front of the others. Tamara hoped that Adelaide could see her appreciation for this.
"Merry Christmas, Adelaide." Tamara responded. Hearing the exchange, Thalia and Jez looked up, both girls noticing the exhaustion in Tamara's face but not quite knowing what to say. Willing her stubborn feet to move, Tamara slowly headed towards the table where her friends were seated and sat down with them in the nearest chair, reaching for the deck of playing cards.
While Tamara occupied herself with the playing cards, Thalia shot Jez a quizzical look. She knew that Tamara carried a great deal of sadness, though she didn't know why. It occurred to her that even when Tamara had first told them about being invited to the conference something hadn't seemed right, though it had seemed important to let things happen without any interference, even if the details had escaped her, and so she had encouraged Tamara. Thalia idly let her hand brush Tamara's in the hope that some new image or information would be revealed to her to help her understand what had happened, but Tamara drew her hand back as though she had just been bitten by a venomous snake and the look that she sent Thalia was equally as poisonous.
"I know what you're trying to do." Tamara shot at her. "Why didn't you tell me that this would happen? You had to have known something wasn't right!"
"Tamara, I know you're hurting but please try to understand. My abilities don't always work the way I want them to. I don't know the details. I only knew that something was going to happen." Thalia pleaded.
"I don't understand why you couldn't have at least warned me!" Tamara said, her voice rising in frustration.
"Because some things happen for a reason. It was meant to set the wheels in motion. Please trust me on this." Thalia begged. Tamara hung her head, unable to understand or accept anything her mysterious gothic friend was telling her. Tears began to sting in her eyes, and all at once the room began to seem claustrophobic.
"I'm going for a walk." Tamara said, tiredly rubbing her temple. "I'll see you later." With that, Tamara set the cards back down on the table and headed out into the corridor that lay beyond Ravenclaw Tower.
She wandered about the castle for a time, her emotions bubbling within her and threatening to boil over. Trying to hold herself together was an inordinate task, made even more difficult when she bumped into Professor McGonagall. She looked up in shock to see McGonagall looking back down at her with concern.
"Is everything alright, Miss Edgecombe?" She asked in her lilting Scottish accent. It was a simple question, yet a powerful one. The caring in McGonagall's words was enough to send Tamara's emotions skittering out of control again. She burst into tears.
"Oh, my dear girl!" McGonagall exclaimed, and wrapped her arms around Tamara who simply buried her face in McGonagall's shoulder and cried. McGonagall didn't say a word. She simply allowed Tamara to cry for as long as she needed to.
Eventually, Tamara's tears began to slow. She took some deep gasping breaths and tried to gather herself.
"Why don't you come with me to my office? We can have a cup of tea and a chat." McGonagall offered. Rubbing her eyes, Tamara nodded and followed McGonagall.
McGonagall's office was warm and inviting, and a small but cheery fire crackled in the grate. McGonagall gestured to one of the chairs, which Tamara took. Sitting down, she watched as McGonagall tapped an empty tea kettle with her wand. In an instant, it was steaming and whistling, and McGonagall was pouring tea into two large mugs. Tamara took the mug McGonagall handed her and took a sip.
"Now, then." McGonagall said. "What has been upsetting you?"
Tamara wasn't sure what to say. It was all so complicated. "I don't know where to start." She choked.
"Did something happen at the conference?" McGonagall asked. Tamara squirmed. The whole situation was a private one. It seemed wrong to talk about it. And if the war was weighing her down, she didn't know whether she could talk about that either, not knowing how much she was at liberty to say.
"Sort of" was the only thing she could think of to say. McGonagall pursed her lips. After a moment more of questioning and receiving similar curt responses, it was clear that something had happened at the conference, and it was clear that Tamara was not prepared to talk about it, and for reasons she failed to understand. But there was another person she could ask... the man who had accompanied her to the said conference: Snape.
In the mean time, however, there was still Tamara. Changing the topic, she asked Tamara the usual questions; how her studies were going, how her friends were, and that sort of thing, and they simply talked for a time. When the conversation neared its end, Tamara thanked McGonagall and politely excused herself and left, and McGonagall followed, though heading in a different direction; down, to where the dark corridors led toward the dungeons.
Stopping outside a familiar door, she knocked loudly and a familiar voice answered. "Enter!" Snape called. McGonagall marched in.
"Severus, what on earth happened to Tamara Edgecombe at that conference?" She demanded. A look of surprise crossed his face at her sudden entry and her intrusive question.
"Minerva, calm yourself and explain your meaning." He told her, coldly.
"I just had Miss Edgecombe in tears in my office, shattered over something that obviously happened at the conference that you took her to. What did you do?" McGonagall was angry. A student was hurt and upset, and the only apparent reason was an event supervised by a Hogwarts teacher. She had to know why.
McGonagall's words stung, forcing him to mentally face again what had happened between Tamara and himself. Outwardly retaining his usual expressionless countenance, however, he coolly replied.
"Minerva, I have no idea what you mean."
"Don't give me that! What happened to her?" McGonagall wouldn't give up.
"Isn't it enough that times are stressful as it is with the Dark Lord at large? And if she does not wish to discuss the things that burden her, then surely that is her prerogative." He said, using reason to mask his turmoil.
"You really are the most infuriating man I have ever met!" She shot at him. "She is a gifted student who you seem to hold in high regard, and yet your manner and your actions are completely at odds with that. Why you can't learn to treat your students with a little more respect, I will never know." With that, McGonagall stormed out of the office, leaving Snape to brood over her words.
To think that Tamara was in the kind of devastated state that McGonagall had indicated was heart-wrenching. He had made a difficult decision to try and lessen the weight that was on her shoulders, but it seemed that he had only added to the burdens that she had to carry. The thought that he had not only ruined his one chance to become a part of her life, but that he had irreparably hurt her as well, was almost too much to bear. The advice that Dumbledore had given him prior to the conference returned to haunt him. This is what the old man had meant, and Snape knew that he had made a terrible mistake.
Later that day, Tamara, Jez, Thalia and Adelaide could be found in the Great Hall, sitting together at one of the few tables that had been left set up for the students who were remaining at Hogwarts for Christmas. Tamara stirred a cup of tea, absently, while her friends busied themselves with Christmas snacks. Thalia, Jez and Tamara had arrived at a truce of sorts. Tamara still hadn't been able to tell them the specifics of what had happened, but she had consented to generalise and her friends had accepted this. At present, they chattering idly, not noticing when Professor Dumbledore entered the hall and approached them.
"Merry Christmas." He told them, a characteristic glint in his eye. The girls looked up in surprise and smiled back at him. Somehow, Dumbledore always managed to make things feel better if you were feeling down, and he certainly had this effect now.
"How are you all?" He asked, taking a seat beside Adelaide. Tamara sighed.
"We're okay. It would be good if something funny happened for a change, though, like everybody turning up to class in their pyjama's or something." She said, making a half-hearted attempt at a joke. At her words, however, a sudden mischievous expression appeared on the wizened old Professor's face. "Sir, what are you thinking?" She asked, suddenly worried.
"You know, you've just given me an idea." He told them. At his words, the girls exchanged quizzical looks. "Regrettably, I am only passing through, so I must bid you farewell. Do enjoy your day." Offering them a courteous nod, he left them to their own devices, and to ponder his words.
The Christmas break wound on and things remained quiet at Hogwarts. The four friends enjoyed the solitude, even though the lack of bustling activity in the castle made the atmosphere seem strangely flat. Adelaide often took advantage of the empty library and more often than not could be found there studying. Tamara admired the younger girl's dedication, but she couldn't help but worry. Adelaide's face constantly looked sunken and worn. She rarely turned up for meal times and Tamara suspected that she wasn't getting enough sleep either. When Tamara confronted her about it, however, her pleas always fell on deaf ears. Not knowing quite what to do, she made a mental note to ask Madam Pomfrey for advice if Adelaide began to look worse.
The week after Christmas, however, wound on without incident. As there were no classes, there was little reason for Tamara to have to face Snape, except at meal times at which point she staunchly ignored him, and before long, the New Year was upon them. Tamara and her friends watched the fireworks from the astronomy tower, marvelling at the colours and shapes. Together, with their arms around one another, they made their new year's resolutions; to always remain friends, to get their N.E.W.T.s, and to survive the war. That moment seemed to have a wondrous magic about it and Tamara felt it touch at the very core of her being. It was the first time all week that she had been able to feel anything except grief, or numbness once the grief had passed over. Tamara relished the moment, glad that in the midst of her pain, the stress of school work, and the horrors of the war, that she could still feel uplifted by the world's magic. It was a feeling that remained with her long into the night, and it comforted her until she fell asleep.
The first day of classes after the holidays proved to be an interesting one. Luckily, Monday was one of the few days that they didn't have a scheduled Potions class, so Tamara felt able to ease back into a normal schedule in her own time. She joined her friends at the Ravenclaw table for breakfast, and was immediately targeted by Hermione, who came bounding over and sat with them. A couple of the other Ravenclaw's raised their eyebrows at being joined by a Gryffindor, but Hermione ignored them.
"How was the Potions Conference?" She asked, excitedly. Though she hadn't been privy to the conversation shared by Tamara, Jez and Thalia in the Ravenclaw common room prior to the Christmas holidays, they had always filled her in on everything when they had classes together. Tamara pondered Hermione's question, wondering what the most diplomatic way was to answer it.
"Well, let's just say that it was an education." She said finally. At exact moment she and Jez glanced at each other, both knowing the incredible awkwardness that had been the only result of her trip to London. Hermione was confused. "Actually, the lectures were pretty boring, but from an academic point of view, I learnt a lot about all the different ways to approach potion making." Tamara went on.
"And what about Snape?" Hermione pressed on, lowering her voice.
Tamara sighed. "As I said, it was an education. His lecture was interesting though."
Hermione was clever enough to notice that Tamara was trying to change the subject, and she could guess why.
"I'm sorry if things didn't work out, Tamara. Are you okay?" She asked, trying to console her friend.
"I'm not sure how I am, Hermione. Too much has happened this year. It's all getting to be a bit much." Tamara lamented. Hermione put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder, but at that moment the conversation was cut off by Dumbledore, who stood up at the high table to make an announcement. Within a few moments, the Great Hall was silent and students and teachers alike were giving him their attention.
"I trust you all had a joyous Christmas," he began. "In light of recent events, I thought that perhaps a little light-hearted humour is long overdue. Tomorrow I welcome you all to attend your classes wearing your pyjamas." At that, some students laughed and others merely looked at him incredulously, which was nothing compared to the looks that some of the teachers were wearing. Tamara shook her head, embarrassed, and Jez threw a piece of toast at her.
"What on earth does he think he's doing?" Tamara exclaimed in whispered voice. "I was only joking! Oh for goodness sake, we have double potions tomorrow after lunch, as well!"
Jez couldn't help but laugh at Tamara's mock theatrical annoyance. Tamara quickly explained to Hermione the conversation they'd had with Dumbledore the day after Christmas, and Hermione immediately joined in Jez's laughter.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. It was easy enough to lose herself in her lessons, but the battle to maintain her concentration was a battle that she was losing. The closer it came to the end of the day, the closer it came to facing potions class... and in her pyjamas no less. Tamara couldn't help but feel nervous.
But as hard as she willed it not to, tomorrow dawned anyway, and before long they were all lined up outside the first class of the day, Herbology, clad in their pyjamas. When Neville Longbottom arrived with a teddy bear in tow, however, it sent Tamara into peals of laughter. This would certainly be an interesting day. It felt surprisingly comfortable and freeing, tending to the plants in the green house wearing her warm flannelette pyjamas, and by the time everyone had become used to the idea that they were wearing their bed clothes in public, the atmosphere began to lighten, and many of the students spent their time laughing at the many varieties of pyjama patterns and colours that others wore, and how silly some of the teachers looked. Professor Sprout, for example, had even turned up to class with rollers in her hair at which point Jez, in fits of laughter, accidentally cut the stalk of the plant she was attending to, resulting in even more laughter from her friends, much to the confusion of the aforementioned professor.
After Herbology, they had a single charms period, which Professor Flitwick attended in large fluffy bunny rabbit slippers that changed colour whenever he walked, and at lunch Professor Dumbledore could be seen socialising with students wearing a lurid lavender bathrobe that was adorned with meowing kittens. Tamara suspected that he had worn this particular outfit on purpose, but Dumbledore looked priceless nonetheless, so by the time they reached the potions dungeon after lunch, and joined the queue of students that had begun to shuffle into the dungeon, they were in such high spirits that Tamara hardly registered where they were there.
"I wish Dumbledore would do this more often," Jez commented, elated. Tamara nodded her agreement.
"I know. It turned out to be a good idea after all. I don't think I've had this much fun for ages."
They were nearing the door now, and Tamara couldn't help but throw a glance at Snape, which turned out to be a bad idea because it sent nerves shooting through her stomach all over again. Snape, for the record, was simply wearing his usual day attire, so most students had acclimatised to the dark dungeon atmosphere within a few moments. Jez, however, had no compunction in continuing the conversation as they sidled past the Potions Master into the room.
"Absolutely!" She agreed with Tamara. "I haven't laughed so much since Uncle Albert caught his beard in the food mixer!"
That comment sent Tamara into fresh peals of laughter, which Thalia joined as she followed them to their usual bench. Hermione managed to position herself at the bench next to them, with Ron Weasley and Harry Potter joining her, so Hermione was able to join in their conversation.
After everyone had settled, however, and Snape had begun the lesson, Tamara found the atmosphere almost unbearable. She tried her best to concentrate but failed miserably, making several terrible mistakes which rendered her potion almost unpassable. Tamara could have sworn that her heart broke a little more with every time she heard Snape's voice sail effortlessly over the general noise of the student's potion making efforts, and every time she noticed him when she turned to retrieve the next ingredient for her potion. At one moment, she came crashing into Harry and promptly sent a bowl of newt eyes flying onto the floor. It was all that Tamara could do to keep from crying. This was turning out to be a first class nightmare. Harry looked at her with confusion, knowing it was extremely rare for Tamara to perform so badly in potions. Unexpectedly, he shot a venomous look at Snape and Tamara turned to Hermione for explanation. Hermione was bowing her head in embarrassment. Evidentally, she had told her two Gryffindor friends a certain amount of information about Tamara. For the moment, however, Tamara didn't care. All she wanted at present was for the lesson to be over.
Snape hadn't missed Tamara's accident and the subsequent look Harry Potter had given him. He sighed, inwardly. He had done his best to maintain a cool professional exterior, which all things considered hadn't been too difficult when he busied himself with the activities of the class. That wasn't to say that he, too, found it extremely awkward to spend so much time in Tamara's presence. It was hard to know exactly what to do. McGonagall, it seemed, had not been exaggerating when she had explained the state that Tamara had been in. Guilt niggled at him again, incessantly, tormenting him for the mistake he had made. Perhaps he shouldn't have let things go so far between them at all at the conference. Perhaps he could have avoided hurting her so much. But god he had felt so strongly. He had fought it the entire time they were there, and eventually he had risked giving in to it. Now he paid the price.
Eventually, the class came to a close. Somehow, Tamara had managed to salvage her potion and bottled something halfway usable, which Jez took up to Snape's desk for assessment, along with her own and Thalia's. Tamara didn't waste time cleaning her potion making tools as thoroughly as she usually did. She rushed everything back into its place, grabbed her bag and headed straight for the door, leaving the others to finish without her. Once in the corridor, however, a hand came to rest on her shoulder. She froze, too afraid of who it might be to turn around. It was not Snape's voice that addressed her, though. It was Harry. Somewhat relieved, she slowly turned to face him.
"I'll let Hermione fill you in, but if he's done something to hurt you..." his words trailed off. Tamara understood what he meant, though it was hard to know how to respond.
"Perhaps it was a mistake going to the potions conference at Christmas. I think it was a bit beyond me." She said, the only explanation she could manage. Harry considered her words for a moment.
"Why don't you take a complaint to Dumbledore? I'll go with you if you like." He encouraged her. She shook her head.
"Thanks Harry, but its okay. It's something I have to deal with by myself." Tamara said.
"Well... if you're sure." He told her, clearly not liking it.
"Honestly, I'll be okay." She told him, though she was unsure who she was trying to reassure more; him or herself. She forced a wan smile before turning to leave.
Tamara found herself in the library. She wondered, vaguely, whether it might be worth going to Dumbledore and begging for an exemption from potions class in favour of private lessons with himself, but something inside her told her that she needed to persevere, and so she cast the thought out of her mind.
She took a seat at a table that was sheltered in the library's far corner and took her books out of her bag. The one that sat on top of the pile was one of the books that that Thalia had given her before Christmas, suggesting that it might help her to find Elizabeth. Ashamed, she suddenly realised that she hadn't even looked at this book once. Perhaps it was time now. Opening the cover, she saw it was an advanced compendium of charms and magic that were generally intended to conceal things. Trying to work out this way what charm her Mother had cast was going to take forever. She sighed. Nothing seemed to be going right. But at exactly that moment Thalia, Jez and Hermione appeared.
"Tamara, for the record I didn't really tell Harry much. There were things that he just sort of guessed for himself, so I sort of had to explain." Hermione began. Tamara threw up a hand to hush her.
"It's okay." She said. "Harry is the least of my worries, anyway." She paused. "Though, I do appreciate his concern. I hope you'll tell him that for me."
"Of course." Hermione assured her.
"For now, we have a task." Tamara went on. "We still need to find my cousin Elizabeth."
"We had a go at seeing what we could find out while you were in London," Thalia began, "but there were no leads in the library. I couldn't even get a psychic hit from the letter. At least no more than I got before. This is really strong magic." With that she took the aforementioned letter out of her pocket and gave it back to Tamara.
"Well, we have the book you gave me," Tamara said, "but that's going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack. We need a different approach."
Not to be deterred, however, Hermione reached for the book in question and began to flip through the pages. If anyone could find a lead, it would be her. It took her all of a few single moments to come up with something. After glancing back through a couple of sections in the book to be sure, she excitedly turned to Tamara.
"I presume you still have the things Dumbledore gave you that belonged to your Mother." Hermione checked. Tamara nodded, instantly pulling out the amulet. Hermione's face lit up. A second later, Tamara realised that she had another source of information; the book of magic that her Mother had written for her. Taking it out from the pile of books that she had placed on the table, she passed it to Hermione.
"Do you think this might help?" She asked, the question rhetorical. Hermione grinned and instantly began devouring the information that the book had to offer.
Jez laughed. "You had that all along and we didn't even think about it!"
After another few moments of searching, Hermione put the book down. "Okay, it looks like the sort of charm that draws on an entire family line to protect a particular member of that same family. It seems to be designed so that only another family member can find the protected individual, and you'd need a direct connection with the family member who cast the charm. If it was your Mother who cast the charm, and you have her amulet, then you should be able to find Elizabeth." Hermione explained.
"Excellent!" Tamara exclaimed. "So how do I go about doing that?"
Hermione gave a slight grimace. "I'm not really sure. The information isn't specific."
Trying not to feel too discouraged, Tamara took off her amulet and held it in her hand along with the letter. Silently she begged her Mother, Rosalyn, to tell her where to find her cousin. Times were unimaginably hard, and she needed her family because right now her only link to her true heritage was Elizabeth, and she needed that link. All at once, an image of a young pretty woman in her mid 20s floated before Tamara's eyes. Tamara couldn't help but notice that the woman looked a little like herself. It was Elizabeth. All at once, Tamara understood exactly what to do.
Explaining to her friends what had happened, she began to pack away her things and headed straight for the owlery and once there she selected a reliable looking barn owl. Holding her amulet in her hand, she concentrated on the image of Elizabeth that had appeared to her. The amulet began to glow. After a moment, the glow began to take on its own form and moved to encapsulate the letter before disappearing entirely. Tamara knew that the effect of this would mean that no matter what happened, the owl would be able to deliver the bewitched letter without detection or interference, and knowing exactly where to go. She released the owl as soon as she had tied the letter to its leg, and with a satisfied smile she watched as it winged its way toward the horizon.
Author Note: Jez's line about Uncle Albert is actually a quote from the English comedy "Only Fools and Horses". It's one of my favourite shows and I wanted to pay tribute to it a little. Also, the pyjama day theme was based on something my high school used to do (back when I was in high school years ago). Once a year, they would have a day when everyone would come to school in their pyjamas to raise money for charity. Back when I was planning this chapter I remembered that and it seemed like an interesting scene to include. Anyway, happy reading and I will be starting work on the next chapter very soon!