Chapter 11

Feyre

I made my way downstairs and walked into the familiar dining room that had once felt so homely. The table was set for three and I let out an audible sigh of relief. I would not have to deal with Ianthe at the dinner. Lucien and Tamlin lounged in a pair of comfy chairs, seemingly at ease. Tamlin's golden hair glowed in the light of the candles and caressed his shoulders as he turned his head towards me. His eyes lightened at the sight of me and he stood in a fluid motion. Every step he took was lined with masculine power and once again, I understood the human I had been. He was indeed the very image of protection.

"Feyre." He said as a way of greeting, pressing his lips against my cheek. His obvious happiness made me queasy and I struggled against a need to scream at the top of my lungs. Not one hour ago, the two of them had been at each other's throats and now, they acted as if nothing had happened. On top of that, the king threatened our very existence and controlled our lives. How could they ignore this? How could Tamlin look at me with such painfully deep devotion. Would he really bring down the world as we knew it for love? I wasn't even his mate! The dining room walls closed in on me and I trembled with anger, disgust and…. Fear, I realised. I feared Tamlin's undying devotion to me. Feared its consequences.

"Let's eat." Lucien interrupted my stream of thoughts.

"Only the three of us?" I asked, secretly wondering what would keep Ianthe from dinner. She had seemed hell bend on ruining my day.
"Yes, Ianthe is praying." Tamlin said stiffly.

I smiled, in answer. Good. I had had enough drama for one day.

As we sat at the table, eating one exquisite course after another, I couldn't help but compare this lavish affair, to the delicious, yet simple meals we enjoyed at the night court. I could almost hear Mor groan as Rhys and Amren, once again, threw themselves into a discussion that they knew none of them would win. I could imagine Cassian shovelling food into his mouth while he kept talking, annoying Mor with his bad manners. Azriel would, naturally, keep out of it all, but he would observe and maybe even give one of his rare smiles. There were no formalities or ranks to uphold.

Tamlin's voice interrupted my string of thoughts. "So, tomorrow Lucien will take you to the training fields and begin." I realised that he had been speaking to me for a while and I hadn't been paying attention.

"I'm sorry, what?

Tamlin gave me an indulgent smile "We have to start your training tomorrow. Lucien will take you to the training fields and go through basic combat techniques. Nothing too difficult, don't worry."

I bristled at the suggestion that I couldn't handle difficult, but merely said "and my… my powers." I purposely sounded insecure, as if I had no clue what those powers were.

"Yes, we'll have to figure them out too." His voice had grown darker than before.

I didn't want to go down that path right now, so I turned to Lucien. "When do we begin?"

"Tomorrow at dawn. So no sleeping in." His eyes glittered with what looked like excitement.

I grimaced, "Does it have to be that early?"

"Yes my lady." Lucien mocked "I have other obligations than trying to whip you into shape."

I snorted "We'll see if you can keep up."

"Big words from someone who only spends her time reading and painting. When was the last time you..." Lucien teased back, but his smile faltered as he opted not to finish his sentence. He had seen me defeat the Middengard, Under the Mountain. He had seen me in the woods, clad in Illyrian fighting gear, defending myself and Rhys. He might not know how extensive my training had been, but he knew that I had it in me. Knew that I could indeed take care of myself.

I gave Lucien a reassuring smile, mostly to appease Tamlin, who had gone rigid in his seat. "Fine, dawn it is then." My words were light and playful, and Lucien gave me a small smile in return.

I turned towards Tamlin, who had still not relaxed his posture, and placed a hand on his tanned arm, squeezing it slightly to assure him that I was fine.

His green eyes met mine and he gave me a strained smile, that turned brighter as I traced my finger along the length of his arm. Somehow, this gesture made me feel even more horrible than the kisses I had shared with him today. This felt too intimate, too loving. I didn't want to calm him down or nurse his pride. He should be begging me for forgiveness, but instead he pretended that nothing had happened. I seethed, and needed to take a deep breath to calm myself. I had been juggling Ianthe, Jurian, the King, Tamlin and Lucien, not to mention being attacked by a fully trained daemati – and all in one day. Exhaustion hit me hard and it was all I could do not to just drop from my chair right then and there.

"It has been a long, eventful day" Tamlin had obviously seen the change in me, "maybe you should get some sleep, Feyre."

"Yes, I think I'll just go for a walk in the gardens before retiring for the night."

"Do you want company?" His eyes shifted between me and Lucien. They were obviously not done talking.

"No, it's fine. I need to clear my head. I'll stay in the inner gardens." I truly needed time for myself. I needed to be outside, under the night sky. Needed to feel the wind on my face and the brightness of the stars twinkling above me.

Tamlin nodded and got up when I rose. "See you tomorrow, love." His lips brushed mine in a faint kiss that should have sent sparks flying all over my body, but instead it made me even more tired.

Lucien merely inclined his glass of wine at me, but his eyes… they were no longer merely filled with loathing and mistrust. There was a glimmer of a smile in them too - a genuine smile.

I walked in the gardens, taking a too familiar path that I had walked countless times during those awful months when I had returned here after Under the Mountain. The spring night was beautiful and the different fragrances of the blooming roses swirled around me in almost visible patterns, but it was the night sky that I really studied. Here, the stars seemed muted, as if hidden by a veil. So different from the vibrant, living stars that glittered above Velaris.

I could almost sense the life of the city – restaurants with delicious smells and quiet conversations; the streets that were filled with vendors and people enjoying the night; the rainbow road, bright and bathed moonlight, it's theatres bustling with music and life. I missed it so much and I wondered if it was still the same. If the people of Velaris were still happy and carefree. Maybe the king had taken that away too, when he attacked it, destroying a part of its innocence. I knew Rhys and Amren had reinforced the wards surrounding the city, but would it be enough?

The screams of my people when they were attacked still lingered in my ears. I could smell the blood, the fear. Never again! A sharp wind pulled my hair loose of its pins and I realised that I had loosened the grip on my slumbering powers. I took a deep breath, soothing the wind, stroking it with calming fingers. My cheeks were wet and I realised with a start that I was crying. Selfishly, I wondered for a split second what would happen if I simply left. Returned to the night court and fought alongside my court.

No. I couldn't do that. Just like everyone else, I had a job to do, a role to play. It was time that I started acting as the high lady of the night court, not just thinking like her. I played with the shadows gathering on my skin, as I came to a sharp turn in the garden.

A sudden change in the air had me pausing and a slight trickling of gravel alerted me that someone was near. Instinctively, I pressed myself into a nook in the hedge. I hadn't realised that I had wandered so far. I was at the outer perimeter of the back gardens – who would come here at this hour?

The silent footsteps crept closer and instinct had me gather the shadows around me, hopefully concealing me enough so that whoever was coming wouldn't notice me. I quickly realised that the footsteps weren't actually coming from the garden, but from the other side of the perfectly trimmed, tall hedge. They stopped a few feet from where I stood and silence crept in, turning the lovely spring air heavy. My ears picked up two breaths and I held my own, in fear of being discovered.

"Report." A low guttural voice sounded through the hedge and I clammed a hand to my mouth. My mind flashed with images of a dark hallway Under the Mountain, Nuala and Cerridwen pressing me into a shadowy corner, shielding me from the attor and this… thing. I had no idea what it looked like, but I knew that I had heard it before; and I knew it worked for the king.

My mind screamed with inconceivable anger as I heard Ianthe answer, voice steady. "They plan to uphold the King's terms."

"Of course." The guttural voice snorted.

"But…" Ianthe continued, seemingly unaffected by whom, what she was talking to "it seems Lucien is more torn up about his mate than I anticipated. He actually challenged his high lord for her. Naturally, Tamlin put him in his place, but there might be something there."

"And the girl?" the voice snorted, like a pig.

"Feyre? She is confused. I don't know what they did to her at the night court or if she is truly free…"

"Do you question the power of our High King?" The voice interrupted, malice dripping from each word.

"Never. I can take care of Feyre. She just needs to trust me again." Ianthe said, her voice clear and calm. "She will probably want to fight for the return of her sisters. I can use that to our advantage."
"Just remember your bargain Ianthe." The creature snorted angrily.

"As long as the King remembers his promise."
So Ianthe had struck a deal – I had gathered as much before, but apparently, she was still working to fulfil it. Turning my sisters in hadn't been enough.

The voice drawled "The king doesn't break promises." I wanted to snort at that, but I stopped myself.

"Any news from the night court?" Ianthe's words sent a bolt of fear through me and I strained my pointed ears to make sure that I caught each word.
"The night court is always a challenge to deal with, but we know the placement of all their cities, we know who they are and we know that they have been weakened by their foolish trip to Hybern. The King has already made plans for their inevitable downfall." The creature gloated. I stiffened. What plans? How? When?

"And when will that be?" the anticipation in Ianthe's voice was hard to miss.

"All in good time. For now, we´ll keep distracting them. All I can say is that soon, the high lord of night will be busy…" The creature lowered its voice to a guttural whisper that was difficult to pick up "both with his pathetic hidden city and with his eastern borders."

They were attacking Velaris and the eastern borders. I wanted to throw myself out of hiding and unleash my powers, let them see me before I wrapped them in wind, fire, ice, and darkness. My blood boiled and thrummed in my ears. They were attacking the night court, and I wasn't there. I needed to warn them, but I couldn't move. They would surely hear me.

Ianthe's cold small laugh slithered down my spine and into my veins.
"Interesting." Was all she said.

"Keep watching. And don't be fooled by the girl. She knows more than she might be willing to show you."

"I can handle her."

"For your sake, I hope you are right." The voice threatened, then turned mocking "You wouldn't want to her to take your place in court now, would you?"

"Tamlin is mine." Ianthe hissed, then continued, her voice calm "He is already bound to me." I bared my teeth at the arrogance in her voice. What did she mean? Bound how?

The creature gave another pig-snort and then, without a word, disappeared. I could feel the air turning normal and the overwhelming silence fading away. Ianthe let out a low sigh and walked away on near-silent feet.

I waited five minutes before half running back to the manor, still cloaked in shadow. What had I just witnessed? Who was that… thing ? How could Ianthe be so incredibly stupid and selfish? Okay, maybe that was not surprising, but still…How could she justify spying on us like that? And the attack… I needed to contact Rhys now.

I was so wrapped up in thoughts that I didn't notice Tamlin before I half ran right into his massive body. I took a few wobbly steps back, looking at his face which was quickly darkening with worry. Shit. Not only had I been cloaked in darkness, I was also shaking slightly, fear, anger and worry all too visible on my face.

"Feyre, what is it?" His voice was low and commanding, already assessing potential threats.

I made myself grasp his arm, deciding that a half-truth would be my salvation. "I was walking near the outer hedge of the back garden and I heard… something." My voice shook, which was not entirely for show "I don't know what it was, but it sounded so… Vicious. It grunted and snorted like a pig and…" Tamlin went rigid, and took my arm, gently but forcefully guiding me inside.

"You are safe here." He said, placed a kiss on the top of my head and barked orders at his sentinels. Search, protect, report. I sighed at that, not looking forward to the fight we'd have when I told that I refused to have his sentinels following my every movement.

No time to think about that now. I hurried upstairs, ignoring the two sentinels at my door. I found a pen and paper and wrote.

I just overheard a conversation between Ianthe and… Something. Hybern is planning to attack the night court. Both Velaris and the eastern borders will be hit. As I scribbled the last words I tugged at the bond, just to get his attention, but there was no need. The paper disappeared immediately. It returned with only one word.

When?

I don't know. It said soon. Again, the paper vanished, only to return seconds later.

It?

Yes "it". I couldn't see who she was talking to. I think I have met it before though. Under the Mountain, when Cerridwen and Nuala walked me to your quarters. It was speaking with the attor about Hybern at the time.

I see. And you were not detected?

No.

Are you sure? I felt a tang of worry trace through our bond

Yes! Insufferable fae male. I sent a loving caress back.

Good. We will be prepared this time. Thanks to you, we will be prepared. His words struck me. He was right. Me being here had finally paid off. My decision to stay was just.

Be careful. Remember my water wolves are not there to get you out of trouble. It was a feeble attempt at lightening the mood, but I would be swallowed by worry if I didn't distract myself. I could feel his strained laughter through the bond as he responded

What I wouldn't give to see them in action.

I smiled and the paper disappeared before I could answer. When it returned, he had almost filled the paper with his elegant handwriting

We'll have to postpone our meeting tonight, Feyre darling. Even if the wards on Velaris are stronger than ever, they cannot hold without strong powers keeping them there. And the threat to the eastern border puts us at a slight disadvantage. It is really too bad about tonight. I had a wall of starlight reserved just for us – and I would have made you beg for more when I claimed you against it.

My body reacted instantly, a bundle of desire pooling in my core, as my pulse quickened. The thought of his hands pressing me against him, his body pinning me to the wall while his hips moved…

Prick I scribbled back in angry letters. He knew how I would feel. A laughter rumbled down the bond. The paper appeared again.

Tomorrow at midnight. Let's meet then.

Okay. Be careful. I wrote back

Always. He replied and the paper vanished completely. I sighed. Even though I had just proven that I could help my court here, I still felt utterly useless now. They would have to face the immediate threat of Hybern's attack in their own. I knew that they could, but I wanted to be there. I wanted to fight alongside them.

I sat in the chair, lost in thoughts of my court, my home, my mate, when I heard the door click and then open. Tamlin slid inside, his golden hair gleaming in the soft light of the moon.

"You're up?" He looked almost startled at seeing me sitting in the chair, still fully dressed.

"I couldn't sleep. I've been reading." I pointed to the book before me, which I had used as a backdrop for writing the letter to Rhys.

His brows furrowed, clearly wondering how I was able to read an entire book, when my inability to read a few lines had almost killed me and Lucien Under the Mountain. I didn't want to explain that now, so I asked, "Did you find anything?"

His body tensed, "No, nothing. But I promise that you are safe here."

"I know."

"Maybe… Maybe you should be careful where you walk alone." His words were hesitant, cautious.

"Don't…" My voice had grown weak and broke on every word "don't lock me up. Please. Not again." I wasn't entirely faking my horror at the thought of being treated like a prisoner. Again.

"No, Feyre. Never! That was a terrible, terrible mistake. I realised that almost immediately. It's just… I cannot bear losing you again. The thought of being that weak again."

He rushed to me, while speaking and knelt on the floor before me.

"We have so many enemies, and with the King using the territory I just want to keep you all safe."

"Strictly speaking, the King is our ally, isn't he?" I spat, not able to keep it in.

Tamlin lowered his head, his long, golden hair brushing my thighs gently.

"I know you don't believe in what I did. But have you ever considered, that what the king offers could bring peace to Prythian? No more rivalry amongst the high lords, no more family feuds and killings."

I snorted under my breath, too quiet even for his fae hearing. He was naïve if he believed that the King would do anything but wreak havoc.

"And the mortal lands?" I injected.

"The mortal queens decide their fate, not I." Mortal queens? But they weren't mortal anymore.

He lifted his head to study my face and I knew I had to back down. He had to believe that I would do anything for our love.

I sighed, running my right hand through his soft hair. "I'm tired. I promise I won't wander off alone, but I cannot be locked up here."

"A promise is all I need." Tamlin answered, pulling me from my chair when he rose from the floor.

As he looked at me, his green eyes turned into liquid emeralds.

"I believe it is later now." The desire shining through his eyes told me enough about what he meant and I wanted to scream at myself for whispering that to him earlier.

He pulled me tighter to him, tracing the contours of my face with his other hand.
"You are so beautiful."

His hands caressed my delicately pointed ears and traced a finger from them, down my jaw, to my mouth. I shivered, not from lust but disgust. This was wrong. SO wrong. I ached for another set of hands on my body, my lips. I wanted to feel those violet eyes devour every inch of me, his nimble tongue licking, sucking until I was limb with pleasure.

My traitorous body responded to Tamlin's touch, because my mind was filled with someone else. I had to get away from him.

"I need to get ready for bed, this day feels like it has dragged on for weeks." I said, keeping my tone light as I lightly shoved at his shoulders.

He just gave me a sensuous smile, "I can help you with that."

I ground my teeth but managed to smile back "I really like this gown. I don't want to see it in pieces on the floor."

He let out a low laugh, his eyes still bright. "Then by all means, Feyre… Go change." His tongue traced my collarbones and then he moved to my bed, placing himself on it, "I'll be waiting."

Shit. Shit shit shit. How was I going to get out of it now, without making him suspicious? I had practically thrown myself at him the entire day, desperate to prove to the King, to Ianthe, even to Lucien, that I was deeply in love with Tamlin. Stupid stupid stupid, my mind droned, as I walked to my dressing room, shaking with each step.

Feyre…. The memory from last night, Rhys's voice and eyes telling me that he would understand. He would not blame me if I bedded Tamlin. NO my mind screamed and my fingertips were suddenly burning with flame. I had to do something. I had to… Either giving up my body or giving up on helping my court couldn't be the only two options. And if they were, what would I do? I weighed each choice in my mind as a shed my gossamer dress and left it on the floor. I pulled my night gown over my head, letting it wrap around my body with a smooth caress. I had to stay. Without the information that I gathered here, my court would be at a severe disadvantage. Running was not an option. Not now. I looked at my tattooed hand, tracing the swirling patterns with a finger – and smiled.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself and walked back into the room. Back to Tamlin who was still lying on my bed, ready for me. I smiled at him. A slow, confident smile that reached my eyes and he grinned back. He had no idea who he was dealing with.

.