Chapter 11
We were walking through a beautiful green meadow hand in hand laughing at everything and anything. Edward and I were so happy. I could hear the sound of children laughing that joined in with us. Suddenly in front of me were two children, a girl and a boy. The little girl had brown bouncy curls and the little boy had hair going every which way. Edward looked down lovingly at me and pulled me towards the running children. As we were sitting down on the picnic blanket, which had appeared out of nowhere, I noticed the very large sparkling diamond that adorned my left ring finger. Edward too had a matching white gold band on his left ring finger. I smiled back up at him and cuddled deeper into his side.
I was pulled from my daydream when Edward walked into the room and sat down next to me on the bed. Since when did I start daydreaming over a man that would never want something so damaged? I couldn't help but admit to myself how amazing that life had seemed. If only something like that could actually come true. Over the past couple of weeks my feelings for Edward had deepened significantly and I had finally come to terms with the fact that I was indeed falling for my best friend. Between all the gentle touches and his overly caring attitude, it was no surprise that I had fall hard and fast for him. I sighed to myself and felt my heart twinge at the sad feeling of never being able to have Edward.
"Any luck with what you were looking for?" He asked me.
"Uh…no not really." I clicked on a few more links in hopes to find anything that seemed to catch my eye but nothing really did.
"Bella, can I ask you something?" Edward asked me. He started fiddling with his hands and running them through his hair more frequently than he normally would. What was wrong with him?
"Yeah Edward, you can ask me anything you know that. Are you okay?" I was semi-concerned at his sudden change in behavior. He took my hands in his and gave them a gentle squeeze before meeting my eyes.
"Don't feel compelled to say anything right now. I can't keep it in me any longer though. I know that right now isn't the best time or anything. You're still healing which is why I want you to more of think about it than answer right away." He continued to ramble on, going in circles. I finally got frustrated enough to speak up.
"Just come out with it already Edward." I had a playful smile tugging at my lips.
"I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner with me sometime?" He mumbled quickly. I caught some of it but not enough to piece it together.
"You need to slow down, I didn't catch most of that." I stroked his face with the palm of my hand hoping to calm him down slightly. I had never seen Edward so flustered in my whole life. What was making him so jittery?
"Will you…go out to dinner…with me? Sometime?" He stuttered out. I felt my stomach do a little dance when realization finally dawned on me why he was so nervous. Edward Cullen was asking me out? I felt my face turn from one of confusion to bliss as I thought about going on a date with the handsome Edward Cullen. I finally came back down to reality after a few short minutes and noticed Edward's panicky moment had all but quadrupled during my silence.
"Edward, I would love to. It would be an absolute pleasure." I stroked his face again with my palm and saw him visibly relax. He pulled me in for a warm hug.
"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured. I also most certainly do not want you doing anything that would put you out of your comfort zone." He gently squeezed my hand and wrapped his arm around my shoulders pulling me closer to him.
"I'm okay. I'm always okay as long as I am with you." Our special moment was interrupted when an overly joyous pixie barged into my room throwing herself onto my bed.
"It's about freaking time you asked her out Edward. The tension between you two has been ridiculous!" Alice wedged her tiny little body in between Edward and me and wrapped her arms around the two of us. "Now we can all do triple dates sometime." She winked at me and gave me one of her signature Alice hugs.
"Alice, have you ever heard of the word knocking?" I asked her trying to keep as straight a face as possible.
"Oh Bella, please, you're not mad and you know it. I waited until the important moment was over before coming in." She moved to get off the bed and made her way towards the door. "I just wanted to give my congratulations. By the way Bella, I'll be getting you ready the day of this date." She smiled at me and exited the room leaving me with Edward.
"If she thinks she's playing 'Bella Barbie' she's got something else coming for her." I gritted out through my teeth. Edward chuckled and brushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
"She doesn't need to turn you into a Barbie, you're already so beautiful." I laughed at his cheesiness.
"So when are we going out on this date?" I asked him while playing with the hem of his t-shirt.
"Well I was thinking this coming Friday if that was okay with you. I'll be on campus most of the week but Friday is one of my easier days." He was running his hands gently through my hair smoothing out the tendrils.
"That sounds fantastic." Just then we heard a knock on the door and Carlisle stepped in.
"Bella, could I talk to you for a moment?"
"Yeah sure Carlisle, what's up?" I asked him still locked in an embrace with Edward. I blushed slightly at the sight that Edward's father was laying eyes upon but he didn't seem to be phased by it.
"Do you mind if Edward stays? He can leave if you want this to be private. I have your test results." He held up a file in his hand and I felt my stomach drop. I hadn't even thought about the test results until now. I felt panic begin to settle in me. I had my suspicions about what was going on but I didn't think the odds were great of my fears were coming true. What I feared most happened in movies and not in real life. They didn't happen to girls like me.
"Edward can stay. He's going to find out eventually. How bad are we talking Carlisle?" I wanted him to just come right out and say it. I knew that the way my luck had been going the results inside of that manila folder were not going to be pretty so I was bracing myself for the worst.
"Bella I don't want you to become upset by this question, it's purely routine but was Phil your first?" He asked me pulling a chair over to the bed. Edward and I had sat up and were leaning against the headboard waiting for Carlisle to reveal what was in the results. It must not have been pleasant because of the grave look his face held.
"He was my first, yes, unfortunately." Carlisle nodded and pursed his lips slightly opening up the file to jot down a note.
"Bella, I'm afraid my suspicions were confirmed with your blood work. It's not going to be easy for you digest but I just want you to know that Esme and me are here for you as well as the rest of my family. Charlie and Emmett as well, they're going to do everything to support you." Carlisle had reached out his arm and was grasping my shoulder lightly.
"Carlisle can you please just stop prolonging this anymore. What's wrong with me?" I was getting restless and more worried with every passing second.
"I'm afraid that you've managed to conceive. Bella, you're pregnant." I felt my entire world come crashing down. Fresh tears were pricking at my eyes.
"I can't be…this has to be some sort of dream or…something. I can't be pregnant!" The tears began to spill over. Edward tried to take me into his arms to comfort me but I pushed him away not wanting to be touched right now. "This has to be some sort of joke. Maybe the tests were wrong or…or…they mixed my results up with someone else. I can't be pregnant. He's taken everything from me already!" I pulled my knees to my chest and began to rock back and forth.
"There are several options you have but I'm sure you already know that. I know that everyone here will support you in whatever decision you decide. I'll give you some time to think and you can let me know when you decide what course you want to take."
"I'm not killing the life inside me if that's what you're implying." I spoke at him more harshly than I intended.
"It is an option but I didn't think you would do that." Carlisle said gently. His eyes were filled with sorrow and pain.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to be so harsh." I apologized. He nodded his head in acceptance.
"I understand completely Bella, you've been put in yet another difficult situation. No one will be upset if you need to speak out." Carlisle stood from his chair and gave me one of his fatherly hugs before leaving the room. I turned my focus to Edward who had a glazed over look on his face.
"Edward, I understand if my current situation changes things. I'm sure that you have something to say right now but I ask that you hold whatever it is you are thinking for a little longer. Right now, I just need to be alone. I need to think." I asked him calmly. My voice quivered slightly as I thought about how Edward would leave me now that my own stepfather had knocked me up.
"Of course Bella. I'll be in my room whenever you need me." Edward kissed my forehead and moved to get off the bed. I felt the tears burn behind my eyes.
'I will not lose it in front of Edward. Keep it together Bella.' My mind urged me to keep my tears at bay until Edward had left the room. It was like watching a slow motion picture as Edward made his way to the door. He froze for a second with his hand still on the doorknob. His head turned towards me.
"This doesn't change anything Bella. My feelings for you haven't changed at all." He whispered and with that he left the room closing the door tightly behind him. When I heard the lock click into place, I broke down sobbing. Why is it when my life was starting to look upwards, I get news like this? I don't understand how one person's life can go so wrong while those around them continue to be so cheerful. How is it possible that one person gets all the bad luck in the world? None of this made sense. I continued to sob thinking about the life that had currently taken residence inside of my stomach.
I had never pictured myself as a mother let alone a teenage mother. Yet here I was sitting with a major life changing decision to make. I could keep the baby, raise it myself, and hope that everything works out in the end. Or I could give it up for adoption and possibly never get to see my son or daughter grow. This baby may not have been conceived in love but I could show it love. I could teach it to be different from how this baby was made. Would I be a good mommy? I felt my hands instinctively make their way down to rest of my flat stomach. As if the life inside me could hear there was a small flutter. I gasped at the interaction and smiled. That right there decided everything for me. I would keep this baby. I would raise it with all the love and support I could manage. I may lose a lot of opportunities, like a chance of a life with Edward, because of it but that didn't matter. I was going to be a mom.
"It's just you and me." I whispered to the life growing underneath my hands and felt my world become slightly calmer. If I could survive years of abuse with Phil, I could most certainly survive being a teenage mom and raising this baby. I would do everything and anything to make this work. I had to. Phil may have taken everything away but in some weird twisted way he's given me a gift. He's given me my family back and he's given me amazing friends who support me through everything. And now, he's given me the one person who will become my rock; the one person who will be my reason for living. I smiled at that thought and snuggled deeper into my bed soon falling into the oblivion of darkness.
A/N: Sorry for the lack of update last night, I decided at the last minute that I was just not happy with what I had written so I went back and rewrote it only be even more dissatisfied with it so in the end I ended up using the originial chapter. I'm still not entirely satisfied with it because this wasn't exactly what I had imagined. I hope that you guys can still enjoy the chapter even if it's not exactly what I was looking for. Most of you guessed right and well, it wasn't such a shocker when Bella was beginning to have the oh-so-fun morning sickness.
Also, thank you so much (I know I say this a lot but I really am appreciative) to everyone who reviewed. You guys have really come through and that means so much to me! Anyway, I hope you were not too disappointed in this chapter and that you enjoy it. I promise this story will start to take a turn soon. We've got a lot to look foward to with Edward and Bella and the rest of the gang. I'll probably post another chapter tonight sometime when I get back from work. Enjoy! Please do let me know what you think.
~Jess