AUTHOR NOTE:
I find these things hard to judge but I'm gonna put this down for an M rated chapter and change the rating on the story.

CHAPTER 10

ELENA'S POV (M Rated)

It's been a long day.

A long, weird and kinda surprising day and I'm not too sure how I feel about the way it ended but maybe I can work that out tomorrow. I look at myself in the bathroom mirror and try to see if I notice anything different about my appearence. Should I see something different? After you admit that the reason you broke up with your boyfriend was because of his brother and you then tell that brother about it - shouldn't there be a dark mark of some description? I look at my feet. Would a pair of Katherine's slutty, high heels appear there?

"It's okay to love them both." that's what she said…

I don't think its okay but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

But I appear to still be me. No heels, no dangerously low cut top, my hair remains straight and I don't look like I'm planning to manipulate and endanger everyone around me just to save my own skin.

I'm ready for bed and my dress from earlier hangs behind me on the door distracting me. I remember his eyes on me in the crowd, the touch of his hand on mine… I reach across the sink for the rose he gave me which sits in a glass of water. It's petals are still soft as they kiss my skin, only beginning to show a little wear from the fact that I keep running my fingers over them. I look at the mirror again and a smile has crept on my face. My reflection rolls her eyes at me but I know I'm smiling at the flower again before I leave.

Switching the lights off in the bathroom, I come into my room and turn to find Damon there. More specifically I find Damon in my bed, one hand behind his head the other holding my teddy bear to his chest apparently just studying the ceiling. Damon's invasion of my bedroom has been one of slow progression since I've known him. Each time he comes here he pushes one step further. Tonight is no different. This time he's lying fully clothed under the covers. I notice his boots at the end of the bed. How does he just make himself at home like that? My frustration gets put to the side however, when In an effort to keep himself comfortable, he decides to break the silence before it drags out awkwardly.

"I've been thinking…"

"About how easy it is to break into my house?"

He ignores me.

"I think I should have a drawer in your room. You know, a little place to call my own. I can store a good bottle of bourbon in there, some clean underwear maybe?"

He's smirking. He's been back home, he knows the drawer is empty, the white oak stake missing along with his boxers. I have nothing I can say to this but I can't stand here all night hoping he hasn't found his boxers in my underwear drawer.

"You know my brother wants to kill you.'

"So does mine, so tell the little Gilbert to get in line. Maybe they can form a club."

"I'm sure it will have quite a full membership."

"As long as you aren't a member I think I'll survive."

He looks over at me now and his face softens into a look I don't think I've ever seen on him. I can't quite make out what it is, but it's different and very endearing. Between the look I can't discern and the way his eyes move over me before focussing on my face, I'm starting to feel a little exposed. He's seen me like this before, its not the first time he's shown up while I'm dressed for bed, but after everything today there's a lot of things that haven't been said. Just like our awkward goodbye at the pageant, this moment is a bit unsure of what it should be.

Before he makes me more awkward looking than I want to be right now I decide to just suck it up and lift the covers to climb in. He watches me settle down and lie on my back. Now both of us are staring at the ceiling and its really not that interesting to look at.

I hear him sigh, "This would be so much more fun if we were naked."

I think my eyebrows shoot up into my hair line somewhere at that and I turn to see that he has both hands behind his head and a complete shit-eating grin on his face. I shove him hard in the side although I have no intention of kicking him out of bed. I think he knows this because he feigns hurt before letting a dirty laugh bubble out of him. I wish I was better at maintaining a poker face but I can't help laughing too, I can't hide it.

He shuffles a little closer to my side and the bed shifts as he leans over and whispers to me,

"Oh, don't worry, I didn't see you smile."

"At least you took your boots off."

"Noted. Elena likes it when I remove clothing before bed. Next time I'll do better." He's doing that eye thing of his at me again.

"Next time, hm?"

"Well its been part of my long term evil plan to find out if you snore when you sleep."

"And this plan to investigate my sleeping patterns requires you to wear less clothes?"

"Like I said, it would be much. More. Fun."

His eyes spark and I can't help but laugh again as his eyebrows dance up and down with the insinuation of what this type of fun might entail.

He watches me for a moment before he drawls out, "You can relax, I know you don't snore. But you do drool."

He reaches over pretending to wipe some away from my mouth while I playfully slap his hand away and try to cover any more laughing of mine. Jeremy is sleeping a couple of doors away and I wasn't lying when I said he wants to kill Damon. A vampire in my bed is not going to make that situation better. To be honest I'm finding the fact that Damon is in my bed a little hard to deal with myself right now.
After him being away for months and thinking I might not see him again, Damon is finally right beside me. My laughter dissolves completely as I realise something that I've been denying the whole time he's been gone. Before we go back to looking at the ceiling I decide to say what needs to be said.

"I missed you, you know… when you were gone?"

"I know."

He looks a little guilty as he turns his whole body my direction. I copy him and I can tell that he reads every part of the confusion on my face at his answer.

"That night with Jeremy may not have been the only time I was in your bedroom. It's just the only night I got caught, which technically was your fault. You distracted me… You were dreaming…"

"Let me guess, you were naked and I loved it."

He smiles but forces himself to be serious for a moment longer.

"No. It sounded like a bad dream."

His brow creases as he goes back to the memory.

"I went to stop you from kicking the covers off, which I'm sure would have been even more distracting…"

His hand is moving, reaching out to touch my cheek as he continues.

"I put my hand on you, just like this, and you went really still. Then you said my name…"

He's still touching my cheek, rubbing his thumb gently back and forth like I imagine he did that night. I see his soft look make a fluid motion towards mischief again.

"Who knows maybe in your dreams I was naked."

He smirks and lets his hand fall away from my face to lie between us. I raise a disbelieving eyebrow at him,

"Maybe I was asking you to grab a towel. You do have a tendency to be naked for no reason."

He shrugs it off with a signature eye roll and I find myself delving into a memory that precedes his comeback. Me arriving at the boarding house, him knowing I was there, bubbles sliding down an exposed happy trail…

"Birthday present, Birthday suit, sometimes I get the two of those mixed up, its the strangest thing. Plus you told me not to get you anything that year so I went with what was free… and available."

I can't help but let my eyes look down the bed where his body rests close to mine and damm him for bringing that memory to mind because I should be madder at him for the fact that after all his time away he has been close by all along.

Ok so maybe I am a little mad.

Yeah I'm mad.

I've been holding back so many feelings while he was gone even from myself. The one person I wanted to fight them out with wasn't here so I walled them in and they built up without me knowing and yes I might be angry with him but mostly I just feel hurt that he left me.

"You know you promised me once that you'd never leave me again."

He wasn't expecting my off topic comeback and it throws him for a moment. I remember the night he made that promise, the night that Stefan attacked me in the school and we thought we'd lost him forever. Klaus attacking me and taking my blood and the whole time I was looking for Damon and he wasn't there. We'd had a fight and I hadn't seen him all day and now he wasn't there. It wasn't until I woke up abandoned in a hospital bed that I finally found who I had been waiting for. He had lifted me off the bed and as soon as I was in his arms I knew I was ok. There was nobody that could have made me feel safer in that moment.

"You promised me, you told me tha-"

"I never should have left."

"…Yeah."

He's staring into my eyes intently trying to make me see that he means it for this time round too. A tear escapes me giving him an excuse to touch my face again; he rubs it away and his voice is soft when he answers me.

"Well technically I didn't leave, as according to you I was still creeping into your house at night."

"You were creeping." I sniffle.

"Creeping is an ugly word and I don't think it applies to me. I have a key."

Now it's my turn to roll my eyes. It wouldn't be too hard to guess that at some point Alaric has been an unsuspecting victim of Damon's key thieving.

"So… I was not creeping just… checking."

He looks away from me for a second. "Between that and making pitstops at all our little road trip destinations… it kinda felt like I never left you behind at all…"

The admission takes me by surprise. So that's where he's been? Taking trips down our old memories on the road? The bar in Atlanta? Did he even go to Duke where we looked for stuff on Isobel? The woods in Tennessee where we searched for Stefan? Chicago? The motel in Denver…? Not exactly the best place to go to forget about us. It's pretty ingrained in my memory… I bite my lip at the flashback, wondering where that night could have lead to if there had been no interruption.

He lifts my hand up between us and our palms meet, slowly closing that gap between them. Before long he is threading his fingers in between mine and I realise there is a lot to talk about that we have been avoiding, but him holding my hand like this makes more sense to me than any words that I could say or write down. So instead I watch him, I love watching him. He is transfixed by the simple act of getting to hold my hand in his. I watch his face as he studies the way our hands meet, the way each finger of his is wrapped through mine and its like an electric current runs through me made from movements and memories of feelings and knowings and I feel myself sway with it until I spill over.

"That dance that they did today… Kinda reminded me of—"

"When we danced together?"

His eyes shoot to mine and the air feels heavy around us from these simple words.

"I wanted to dance with you today…"

He breathes out slowly and I feel him move his free hand under my side and around my waist to pull me to him. Letting that hand slip around me to my lower back, he moves me upwards very slightly on the bed and settles his feet under mine so that my feet sit on top of his under the covers.

Everything now in place I just follow his lead.

He looks down as I try to move the arm I've been lying on. My aim was to put my hand on his shoulder, but realising it would be uncomfortable I continue further and wrap it around the back of his neck letting my fingers twist in his hair.

He eventually looks me in the eye and I find that I can meet his gaze even though I feel like he's telling me something intimate with that look. I watch as he straightens up slightly, more solid, now he's staring at me and there is so much in his eyes that I have to pull myself into him, get out of his intense gaze and just rest my head against his. We're closer now and in my mind I imagine us swaying and slowly turning to whatever song Damon has in his head. But we're just holding each other. Just breathing, relaxing, safe.

I finally know what I want and who I want.

I hear him breathing deeply and I can feel him everywhere around me, the reassuring scent of him and his arms surrounding me. His almost abandoned hand on my back has begun to knead the fabric of my top, running circles with his fingers and then curling into my clothing. If it wasn't setting me on fire I would have found it very relaxing.

I feel Damon move his head, turning it towards me and I hope he's going to kiss me. Instead I'm met with his intense blue eyes again, his lips close to mine as he leads me gently into a dip of sorts letting me fall back unto the bed gently. I catch a glimmer of desire on his face and when he draws me back in again I'm ready. The kiss he pulls me into is what we were both waiting for and we breathe out, releasing ourselves into it. His hand is splayed out on my back and holding me to him tightly. I run my hand over his jawline and turn his head so that I can deepen the kiss just in case he starts thinking about pulling away. I thread both my arms up and around his neck, dragging my body up and towards him, making a soft moan when his hands slip to my waist and then further down, gripping me firmly.

His entire body pressed into mine and our lips carried away with the taste of each other, I allow my hand to move down his shoulder towards his shirt buttons. Thinking my movement is away from him he gently curls my hand in his and places it back around his neck, his kiss now burning into me asking me not to go anywhere. It's all the invitation I need to push up harder against him, wrapping myself around him, feeling the air leave my lungs slightly as his tongue meets mine and the hands he once had on my back move up my sides touching my breasts and its too much, I need him. I push him back a little, and his eyebrows raise slightly thinking he's done something wrong. Whatever he reads in my gaze he gets it, and moves to sit up. I barely wait for him as I quickly crawl into his lap and we collide. The force of my body on his takes him by surprise and we slip slightly, his arms protecting me from the side table as he kisses me back hard, the lamp crashing to the floor as I crash into him.
I can feel the smile in his kiss as he lets me pin him back against the headboard his hands roaming over me and I feel him everywhere on my body as it arches, pushing my chest into his. I kiss him once more, quickly before I move back, grabbing the front of his shirt and ripping it open. My hands drop to his belt and quickly undo it. He grabs me back to him, kissing me hard as I slide his zip down and suddenly I'm on my back, Damon pressing into me and his hand sliding around and under my thigh to drag it up over his hip, and I am lost.

His lips are on my neck and I am gasping for air as his hands have already found the hem of my tank top and are moving it oh so slowly upwards, his hands finally cupping my breasts. I have to kiss him again just so I can breathe and its hot and urgent and not a little desperate but he is right there with me. We part reluctantly so he can slide my top up over my head and he takes full advantage of even that quick movement to caress a path along my skin. With that piece clothing gone Damon returns his mouth to my body, every new part that has been revealed. My fingers clench in his hair as he tastes me, kissing my breast, his tongue darting out to tease my nipple, his hand moving down my writhing body and heading beneath the rim of my underwear to where I want him. I moan his name and he hums deeply. I feel it all the way through me as I know his sound of satisfaction was because I was ready for this. I want this, I want him.

The feeling is mutual and we both reach at once to remove the last of each others clothing. A collision of limbs and tattered shirts probably some ripped underwear thanks to Damon and the tangle of the covers wrapping around us so every movement rubs us together in all the right places. Our hands move over each other, touching places we have been desperate to reach and it is addictive, I love finding out new things about him.

Damon really likes to be touched.

Every movement of my hands on his body no matter how rough or gentle produces some sort of audible response. A hum when I run my hand over his chest, a growl when I follow his happy trail all the way down.

I move to get on top again and he rolls underneath, the movement giving me time to really look at his face as he watches me, taking me all in and its not what I expect to see. I don't see a lascivious grin, I don't even see that eye thing that he does. I see all the things that I can't put words to. It hits me that he can't believe this is really happening and that he's thinking he'll probably screw this up. He's worried that as much as he wants this, and I can feel how much he wants this, that one bump in the road might ruin everything. So I kiss him softly and he breathes again. If there is one thing Damon has made clear to me it's that he doesn't want to lose me. Its what causes him to choose me every time no matter what I say or who else needs saving. So I rock against him gently and I kiss him a little harder and I lift his hands up and place them on my body. I touch his face and work my hands back through his hair so that he sighs into my mouth allowing my tongue to taste him and I hope he understands what I'm trying to tell him.

I'm choosing him.

Something must click for him because the kiss intensifies and I feel more than a little hot as Damon's hands return to their exploration of me. He is hard beneath me and I feel him rubbing teasingly against me causing me to moan. I've felt how sexy he was before. A look, a touch, an invasion of personal space… but I am so wet for him right now that I feel like everything inside me will implode so I grind down hard against him for some sort of relief and I nearly come undone.

He flips me over and even though there is little that could stop this from happening now I find his eyes checking mine to make sure. I pull him down into me because of all the choices I've made, this is not even close to the worst one and I'm not sorry for it. He has been a terrible person but I'm not sorry that I met him, I'm not sorry that I want him in my life and I'm definitely not sorry that he is lying naked between my legs right now, rocking into my body, our hands clasped by my head.

He presses me down into the sheets, his hands going under me lifting me up into him at the right angle. My back arches as I shiver with building pleasure under the repetitive motion of our bodies and I revel in it because I am not sorry that he's the one that makes me feel most alive. He asks me a question with his lips kissing my neck and I respond by kissing down his shoulder, his arm, anything I can reach. Every movement of him inside me sends delicious heat right down to my centre, a fever pitch crescendo rising in my veins as blood races through me taking electricity with it.

Our kisses are getting messy, our motions quickening and I know I'm ready to come apart beneath him. The room is filled with gasps and moans and whispered names and I can't be sorry for that either because Damon is holding my gaze and loving me and I'm not sorry that I'm in love with him.

I love Damon.

I moan with it and he kisses me, breathing heavily himself and uses his fingers to add to my pleasure. I come hard and he catches the sound of it with his lips and continues rocking into me to ride it out until I feel him come as well, his body tensing and slowly relaxing as he moans my name.

I love him.

DAMON POV up next.