Ready Or Not - Chapter 10 - Simplicity of the Chaos
Zac let the refrigerator door close on its own. He had been hesitant to let Anessa meet with Acer Roberts. Even with the thought that Jeana was going with her he was fearful of the outcome. He was afraid of Acer's persuasive abilities and the fact that Ani was pregnant with Ace's child. That alone might lead her to go right back to the younger man.
Those thoughts had haunted him so much over the morning that he hadn't eaten. Now he still wasn't hungry but was forcing himself to eat a few grapes, a couple of slices of chicken from the supermarket and a glass of water. He figured it would at least give him enough strength to accept whatever the afternoon might hold.
The sound of a tone from the gate sensor told him someone was coming up the drive. He couldn't help putting down the food and wandering toward the door just to peek out the window.
Anessa's car rolled to a stop in the back part of the driveway. He noted that Jeana was driving and that Ani's mom was getting out first. Zac swallowed a lump of nerves and breathed deeply. He then opened the front door and did his best to smile at both of the Hart women who were standing there.
"Jeana," he reached out and leaned down to the shorter of the two ladies and wrapped his arms around her. He had to smile as she left a light kiss on his cheek.
"It's been too long, Zac," Jeana leaned her neck back and let him give her a hug as though he was her own son.
"I know," he ducked his head shyly, "I'm sorry, Mama J." Zac released his hold on Anessa's mother and then moved his eyes toward the younger woman.
He moved backwards so they could get into the house but he noted the state of Anessa's eyes. Not swollen or blood shot, but there had obviously been tears. She looked tired and a bit depressed. Still as she came in behind her mother she stopped right beside Zac and wrapped her arms around his waist.
Jeana turned to see Zac putting his arms around Anessa and bending to kiss her head. Other than a bit of tension and sadness on both their young faces, the scene seemed purely natural and right.
"Are you alright?" Zac asked her softly and felt her arms squeeze just a bit tighter around him.
"I'm not sure," Anessa tilted her head to show Zac the fresh tears that were fogging her eyes.
"Come sit down. I'll make you a sandwich. I just got the chicken out of the fridge. Does that sound okay?" He refused to remove his arms from her as they walked toward the kitchen.
Jeana lead the way through a home she had visited numerous times. In the kitchen she saw the fruit and lunch meat on the counter. "Why don't you two sit down, I'll fix something. That is, if you don't mind, Zac."
He looked at Anessa's mother and then pulled out a chair and had Ani sit down. He smiled toward Jeana and hesitantly pulled out a chair for himself. "Not at all. Please, go ahead. Like you've always told me, my house is yours, make yourself at home."
Anessa smiled up at Zac and reached for his hand, pulling him gently to sit down. He did so, and then moved his chair closer to hers, sitting knee to knee with her and holding her hands.
"How…how did he take it? What did you tell him?" Zac wondered with his hands nearly trembling against hers.
Anessa glanced toward Jeana who had opened the refrigerator and was pulling various items onto the counter. She looked back at Zac and wiped a few tears that had moistened the skin under her eyes.
"I told him about Hawaii," she tilted her eyes and let a slight laugh slip through her lips.
Zac rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs, then reached up to catch a stray tear that found its way to the corner of her eye. "Hawaii? I don't get it."
"Since before I called Ace, I've been thinking about how you and I got started. Yes, the show, the production, the tour…but Hawaii…our first trip together, Zac, just us. We were young and thrown together for all the publicity and craziness. But through all of that we gained a friendship and consideration for each other – and that turned into love. Neither of us can deny that." Anessa hesitated only a moment as Zac nodded his head.
"That trip wasn't just us having fun. It was us having a chance to talk about the future and what we wanted. It was us getting to know each other and making promises to each other that we intended to keep."
Zac closed his eyes and nodded, agreeing with her still.
"But we let life get in the way of our lives." Anessa relaxed more in the chair and rested her back against the padding. "We were so determined in Hawaii, to make things work. When I backed out of an actual wedding, you were adamant that we still needed to promise each other our futures…commit our lives together."
"I – I shouldn't have pushed you. We were too young to make those kinds of decisions." He looked at her without a smile.
"No, that's just it," she interjected. "I disagree. I don't think we were too young. And I don't think it was just the romance of being in such an amazing place together. It was so simple, Zac. The things we shared with each other on that trip…whatever cosmic power put us together and allowed us to find each other and take that time together…it was so simple. Falling in love – I knew I was in love with you long before that trip. And when we came home I was positive that we could take on the world."
Anessa squeezed his hands and worked to keep eye contact as she tried to tell him what she was feeling.
"Life gets complicated," Zac added.
Anessa shrugged her shoulders and shook her head lightly. "Life does, but love doesn't – at least it shouldn't." She lifted her hands with his and pressed his knuckles against her cheek. "But yeah, we let life get in the way of that simplicity. The thing is though," she put their hands back down on his knees and looked down at them. "We made those promises, Zac and I believe in them, still. I believe in us and I still love you. You have to know that. It has nothing to do with me being pregnant, other than opening my eyes enough to really think about my life."
Zac breathed deeply as he watched her talking to him. The memories of Hawaii, their commitment ceremony, their blossoming physical relationship and growing love all melded together as he looked into her face. She had only changed in one way since that trip – in his eyes she was more beautiful now.
"I told Acer that the promises you and I made in Hawaii were life-long and that I want to honor our commitment," Anessa continued.
"But?" Zac wondered, feeling a bit uplifted and yet unsure of the situation.
"But nothing," Anessa picked up on his thoughts. "He asked why I was suddenly making this change. What had changed so much over the past few weeks between us – him and me. That's when I told him I was pregnant and that I'm pretty sure it happened the night of the awards."
"Okay," Zac's eyes widened as her story progressed. "Did that freak him out?"
"Not as much as I thought it would. He first wondered if it was his baby," she stated softly.
"How could he think otherwise?" Zac's eyes darkened at Acer's mistrust of Anessa.
"He was angry – because I've been here with you. Not about the baby, more-so because I want to come back to you," she admitted shyly. "He asked me… no, he practically begged me to go back to my house so we could be alone and talk about this whole situation. But I don't want to be alone with him. I'm not scared of him, but I'm afraid that I'll agree to something… I don't know. There are just so many things I don't know right now. It's going to be hard enough figuring this out…"
"He didn't ask you to end the pregnancy though?" Zac's voice again took a protective turn.
Anessa shook her head, "No. Just like I've talked about with you and mom, he didn't want that to be an option. And it's not."
Zac nodded, pleased that there was at least one part of this issue that they could all agree upon.
They stopped talking as Jeana brought plates to both Anessa and Zac, setting them on the table and then going back into the kitchen. She brought them each a bottle of water and then stood between the twosome as they moved their chairs back in place and started taking small bites.
Jeana put her hand on Anessa's shoulder. "Do you want me to stay?" she wondered.
Anessa's eyes grew larger, "I thought you were going to eat."
"I was, but only if you need me to stay. If you're okay," Jeana looked toward Zac, "I don't want to intrude, Ani. I've heard what the two of you have said and I know there's a lot more that you need to discuss. I will stay if you want, but the decisions you have to make – I just think maybe you and Zac need to talk about them together. I don't want you to hold back because I'm here." Jeana explained.
Zac wiped a crumb from his mouth and then stood up quickly. "Jeana," he shook his head when she looked at him, "Stay, please? At least eat lunch with us. I want you to, please? You were with Ani when she talked to Acer. Whatever we talk about right now, you're Ani's support-crew, as am I." He grinned lightly and twitched his nose with words from their movie trilogy filling his mind. "Cause you know, we're all in this together, right?"
Jeana smiled at him while Anessa let out a burst of laughter, something that pleased all three of them. Before Jeana could disagree, Zac pulled out a chair across from Anessa and pointed thoughtfully toward it. "Sit, I'll make you a sandwich and then the two of you can tell me about the rest of the meeting."
At his gentle order Jeana took her seat and looked across at her daughter with a smile. Zac took an extra moment to kiss each woman on the cheek and then went to work in the kitchen, quickly creating a plate for Jeana as she had just made for them. He glanced back at the two dark-haired women who were making light conversation and he smiled.
Anessa was right. Life is complicated. Love is not. And, if they could remember that from here on out, then they could weather whatever was thrown at them, because of their love.
ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot
Zac watched as Jeana got into her own car and drove through the gate. He waved and then closed the door before turning around to see Anessa making herself comfortable on the couch.
She pulled a pillow against her stomach and stared into open space as she adjusted her body and stretched her legs out, taking up the majority of the seating space on his furniture.
"You feeling okay?" Zac stood next to her and swept a few strands of hair off her forehead.
"Mmm-hmmm" she mumbled and moved her face to keep contact with his fingers.
Zac moved to the opposite end of the couch, raised her feet off the cushions and then sat down and placed her feet in his lap where he could rub them gently and tickle her, if necessary.
"That's something we haven't touched on, I don't think," he mentioned as he squeezed her toes slightly and then moved his thumb to the arch of her foot.
"Hmmm?" her tone edged to a higher pitch asking him to explain his observation.
"You feeling okay. Have you had any morning sickness? I mean, what has the doctor said?" Zac stopped his questions when Anessa turned her face and gripped the pillow against her abdomen.
"What doctor?" she asked, shifting her eyes between his and watching his eyebrows raise.
"The – your…what do you call them, the ob-gyn…the baby doctor," Zac shook his head trying to find the words.
They both stared at each other for a moment before the realization hit home.
"You haven't been to the doctor, have you," Zac now watched her face as she rolled onto her back and simply looked at him.
"No," she mouthed. After a long breath she reached for his hand which he gladly gave and held her fingers. "I guess that's the other part of this that's going to make it all real, you know? I've told Ace. Now I need to get on track with doctors' appointments and an ultrasound and whatever else I need to do."
"Pre-natal vitamins," Zac suggested with a finger on his chin as he thought about what she should be doing – and what he should be doing as the man who would likely be a father to this child.
Anessa smiled, "What do you know about pre-natal vitamins, Zachary Alexander?" She could practically see the wheels turning in his mind as he sat a little straighter and appeared to focus on a spot of air directly in front of him. "What are you thinking over there?"
Zac blinked a few times and looked back toward Anessa. He studied her amused face and pressed his lips together. "We're talking about a baby here, Ani, aren't we? Your baby," he practically whispered.
"Yeah," she nodded with a more serious gaze. "Does the reality change things – about us, I mean?"
Zac shook his head. "No, it's just – you've been talking about making this real to you. Up until this very moment I've been focused on just taking care of you, making sure you're alright and helping you make decisions. I guess it's just hit me that we're talking about a little life growing right there inside of you…and – am I right – I'm gonna get to be a part of this baby's life? You want me…?" His eyes grew wide, "Depending on how things work out, I mean, with Acer…me…a, a, kinda like, a dad?" Zac caught his breath when Anessa took his hand and placed it under the pillow on her belly.
She nodded strongly, "Not 'kind of'… but yeah, a daddy," she smiled at him, shrugged her shoulders and tilted her head as she watched him. "I haven't been as sure of anything since we left Hawaii. We talked about having children while we were in Hawaii. I know this isn't what either of us had dreamed about, Zac. But I do. I want you by my side through all of this. My heart knew it the day that I drove over here and climbed into your bed. And it's why I haven't left. I'm afraid if I leave you'll change your mind."
Zac twisted his neck to shake his head. "Not gonna happen." His face began to relax and a smile began to grow until his lips left dimples in his cheeks. He shifted their bodies until he could lean over Anessa's abdomen. He removed the pillow and then lifted her top while she giggled quietly at his antics.
"What are you doing?" she asked through her joyous sounds.
"Shhh," he looked up at her, "I'll talk to you again in just a minute, hang tight up there." He focused his vision on the upper portion of her belly button where he began by dropping a kiss on her skin.
"Hello in there," he moved his lips against her tender stomach, making a rainbow over her navel. "You don't know me yet but we've got plenty of time to get to know one another. First things first, be nice to your mother. She is gonna love you and take care of you and worry about you for years and years. The least you can do is be nice to her while you're in there growing, hear me?"
He glanced up at Anessa who seemed to be torn between laughing and crying at his little impromptu speech.
"Now, second of all," he focused his attention on her stomach again, "My name is Zac. But if all goes well, you're gonna call me…" his voice broke before he could say the word, "I'm gonna do my best to be your dad." Zac cleared his throat and chanced looking at Anessa. He nuzzled his nose against her tan skin and left another round of kisses on her lower abdomen. "You may have two of us in your life, Kiddo, two dads, and if that's the case we'll get things worked out. I promise we will. But here's the main thing you need to know. We love you. Already, we love you. And I love your mom very much. Okay?"
Before he could say anything else Anessa reached down and ran her hand through Zac's hair, pulling his attention back to her. "I love you, too," she added before pulling on him to join her for a kiss.
"What time is it?" Zac pulled back slightly from their embrace and looked toward the grandfather clock in the living room. "It's almost four, what time does your doctor's office close?"
Anessa ran another hand through his hair and thought for a moment. "Four-thirty, I think, why?"
"We're not putting this off any longer. If you're three or four weeks along you need to do this, Ani. We need to make sure everything is okay for you and the baby." Zac looked at her with care and concern written all over his face.
"Well I can't get in today, silly," Anessa's excuse was enough to cause Zac to give her a fatherly look.
"Call, make an appointment to get in tomorrow. It's blood-test first, right, and then an ultrasound after that." He leaned back down to kiss her once more before easing himself over top of her and getting off the couch.
Anessa watched him go into the kitchen and stretched her muscles before he came back with the phone. He handed her the cordless device and then stood waiting.
Anessa flicked her eyes back and forth between him and the handset she was now holding.
"Well," he waited.
Anessa looked at him, "Well, yourself. I don't have Dr. James's number memorized."
Zac returned her gaze and rolled his eyes, "Is it in your phone? Where is your phone?"
"Zac! I don't keep my ob-gyn's phone number in my cell. I need it once a year. I don't even have to call for an appointment for my birth control shot," she began the lecture.
"And yet you missed it, didn't you?" Zac added, earning a slap to his thigh.
"That's not funny," Anessa pouted on the couch in front of him.
"Sorry," he apologized and headed toward the computer desk. "You said, 'Dr. James'? Is that the same lady you've had for a while?" he picked up his iPhone and began tapping on the screen.
"Yeah," Anessa pulled herself into a sitting position, impressed at the details Zac recalled. She watched as Zac began looking for the doctor's phone number. "You went with me to a checkup once, didn't you?"
He looked at her and smiled. "Yeah, 21 year old guy sitting in a gynecologist's waiting room. I had some really nice looks from the older ladies who were in there."
Anessa chuckled. "Hey, if I remember right, you were the one who said you'd tag along!"
"Not sure what I was thinking at that point and very happy that you didn't let me go into the exam room with you," Zac commented.
Anessa placed her hands at her sides and pushed up off the couch. She stepped towards Zac and rubbed her hand up and down his bicep before moving her fingertips onto his chest and outlining his collarbone. "I was changing birth control. Mom wasn't completely happy with me changing and she was busy with Ella. She told me if I wanted to do it I'd have to go to the doctor on my own. So you offered to come with me."
"That's what it was…" he remembered. He reached up to catch her fingers before they tiptoed onto his neck and around to his earlobe.
"Did I ever thank you for doing that?" She asked with a kiss to his fingertips.
Zac nodded. "I am pretty sure you did. Maybe at some point you can thank me again," he winked at her and held up his phone. "Now, is this the right doctor?"
Ani looked at the screen and nodded in agreement. Zac handed her the phone. "Call. You probably don't need an appointment for the blood test. We can go knock that out tomorrow morning and then maybe go out to eat, or whatever you're feeling up to. You really aren't having any morning sickness?"
Anessa hit the 'call' button and waited while Zac kept talking. She shrugged at his question, "Maybe a little, but nothing much so far. A little nausea, but I've also been stressed out about talking to Ace…" she put her finger in the air to tell him that someone had answered.
In a matter of minutes she had the doctor's orders to get the lab-work done first thing the next morning. As Zac had said, they would take care of the not-so-fun blood-draw and then he would treat her to breakfast. He would care for her; he would love her; and as real as the situation was becoming she realized that even with the looming debate with Acer Roberts, she was as happy as a woman could be.
She put the phone back in its spot on the desk and wrapped her arms around Zac's waist from behind him. She placed a couple of soft kisses between his shoulder blades and then rubbed her cheek against his shirt, pressing against his back like a purring kitten.
"Thank you," she spoke against his cotton-covered spine.
"You're welcome," he answered simply.
He let her hold him, standing in the middle of the living room for several minutes before turning in her arms and placing his on her shoulders. The two began swaying to silent music, foreheads together, each rubbing noses with the other or pressing their lips together lightly.
"I love you," Anessa spoke against his lips. "I wish this baby…"
"Shhh," Zac kissed her lips again, "I love you, too."
"But," Anessa tried to counter.
Zac shook his head against hers and looked into her eyes. "All that matters is what I just said and the fact that you feel the same way. Right?"
Anessa nodded her approval.
The next half hour was spent with them dancing silently together in Zac's living room. The simplicity of their feelings for each other were becoming completely in focus and directed exactly where they wanted – back where they belonged.
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