The hole Ava had kicked into the wall mocked her as she stared at the small strip of light under her door. She had tried, for once, to keep her emotions in check considering how poorly things had gone with the Vanguard. Whatever that had been she didn't want it happening again. Despite that, she still yearned to pick a fight to relieve some of her restless energy.
Through the wall she could hear Xander watching something, probably Crucible matches. He tended to take them very seriously and she was surprised when she couldn't hear him yelling at the screen. Perhaps he was trying to keep quiet out of consideration for her.
She wished he would stop. Ava wanted him to be angry. Not dissapointed. Not tired. Not understanding. Angry. She wanted him to stop trying to protect her feelings and just be honest.
It was more than just wanting a fight to relieve some of her restlessness. There was a piece missing from the puzzle that had been dumped into Ava's head. She wasn't done sorting through what she had been given yet, but she knew something wasn't right. Thinking about it was only going to drive her crazy.
Crazy? You've been crazy for a long time.
That voice. Sorcha's voice. Ava resisted the urge to reach for a knife that wasn't there. Xander had opened up a door that had been closed for a very long time and now there was no way to shut it. Sorcha was in her head, and as much as Ava knew it wasn't real, it felt real. Just like that damn dream.
With a groan Ava rolled off her bed, pulling one of her many cloaks with her, and started pacing through the mess on her floor. Her legs were wobbly as she weaved through the various items.
"You need to eat something." Greer muttered as she drifted off Ava's headboard and started scanning her.
"Not hungry."
Greer only sighed, not bothering to warn Ava as she tripped over a piece of chest armor and fell flat on her face. Xander heard her hit the floor from the other room. "Are you okay?" He called through the door.
Pushing herself up into a sitting position, Ava kicked at the offending piece of armour before assuring Xander that she was fine.
"No she is not!" Greer swerved backwards when Ava swatted at her, hissing under her breathe for her Ghost to be quiet. "You need to make her eat something."
The door swung open and Ava blinked her blurry vision clear in the sudden light. "I told you, Greer, I'm not hungry. I'm not going to eat anything."
Greer drifted out of the room. "Well, I'm not reviving you when you die of hunger."
Xander kicked random objects out of his way before stopping in front of Ava and staring down at her. "Come on." He held out a hand which Ava reluctantly grabbed and let him pull her to her feet. When she swayed he held onto her arm until her vision cleared and she nudged him away from her.
"I really don't want to eat." she mumbled, but she stumbled to the kitchen anyway. The pile of junk food that Xander had brought in earlier was still taking up most of the cramped counter space, utterly undisturbed. "You haven't eaten anything either."
"I didn't spend most of the day hallucinating or throwing up. Eat something."
Sticking out her tongue Ava pulled a box of donuts out of the bottom of the pile. A bag of chips slid to the floor, but she ignored it. She doubted she'd be able to pick it up without falling over, anyway. Both Greer and Xander watched her carefully as she crossed to the couch. She pretended she didn't notice that either.
"Why is this so uncomfortable?" She asked after flopping onto the couch.
Xander sat on the floor as she had purposefully stretched her legs across the other cushion. "Have you literally never sat on your own sofa?"
Ava shrugged and flipped open the lid of the box of donuts. "It's kinda new. Had to get rid of the old one because I lost a dead mouse in it."
He tensed, scrutinizing the surrounding floor. "You have mice?"
"Nope. I just had a mouse. His name was Glen."
Greer glanced at the flabbergasted Titan. "Don't ask."
Grinning, Ava took a small bite of a powder sugar coated donut. Some of the strawberry jelly dribbled down her chin and she wiped it off with the back of her hand without thinking. "Found him in my hood once. He was pretty sweet and didn't make much of a mess so I let him stay."
"You let a mouse run around the Tower?"
Small talk. Meaningless. Ava could cut the tension in the room with a knife, if she had been allowed one of her knives, anyway. She hated being unarmed.
Kill him.
Ava flinched at the suggestion that came from inside her head, but wasn't entirely hers. Red flashed through her vision. Blood. Blood.
~0~
"You let a mouse run around the Tower?" Ava laughed lightly at Xander's incredulous tone. He was actually a little surprised. She wasn't necessarily the nurturing type. Her laugh broke off suddenly, and she went still behind him. "Ava?" Xander straightened, looking over his shoulder at her.
She had gone rigid, her eyes unfocused and staring at the back of her hand where jelly from the donut she had been eating was smeared. The donut in question had been dropped back into the open box on her lap, forgotten.
Xander looked to Greer, who had been lounging in the cushions comfortably a moment before. Greer looked back at him, nearly frantic. "I don't know." She said before Xander could even ask.
Ava turned to her Ghost when she spoke, but it wasn't her gaze that met Greer's. "Little shiny thing?" she asked voice sweet and calm. "I miss you, Little Light."
Greer stared at her Guardian, utterly shocked. She didn't move as Ava reached forward and picked her up gently. Xander did, however. He grabbed her elbow and pulled her hand away from Greer. The Ghost dropped back onto the cushions, still paralyzed with complete confusion.
Turning to Xander, now kneeling on the floor in front of the sofa, Ava slid her legs off the cushion and sat up straighter. She tilted her head slightly, regarding him with feral contemplation for a moment before her eyes slid back to the motionless Greer. Xander grabbed her shoulder, forcing her to look at him.
There was a reason she had been brought back to her own apartment after her… breakdown earlier. It had been decided that she needed something familiar and calm. Disorientation and panic seemed to be the trigger of whatever, exactly, had happened. But Xander knew this apartment was not something familiar and safe to her. It probably would have been just as bad for her to wake up in the infirmary as it was for her to wake up here.
"Hey," he started calmly, hoping he would be enough of something familiar to calm her down, "Little Finch, I'm right here. Look at me."
She watched him for a nerve wracked moment, seeming to struggle for a second before her eyes cleared. "I'm so sorry." she whispered, a terrified gaze meeting his. She wiped the back of her hand off on her sweatpants without looking at it and leaned back into the cushions.
Miles.
Yes?
What just happened.
Miles appeared over Xander's shoulder and moved toward Ava cautiously. She watched him approach warily, her posture guarded and unsure. Xander knew she wasn't worried for her own safety, but for the Ghost's. Miles scanned her, then Greer, before moving back to hover over Xander's shoulder. I'm not sure what to make of it. She seems fine now, but there's an inconsistency in- in everything, actually.
Elaborate.
She's seeing things, Xander, and whatever it is, it's influenced by something… not entirely her. We need to tell the-
Not yet. We don't tell anybody she's awake yet.
Ava loosed a shaky breath and interrupted the silent conversation as she pushed the box of donuts off her lap onto the now empty cushion beside her. "Why are the dead walking?" She asked softly. Xander tensed again, but it was her own voice, quiet and contemplative, that said it. "Why?" She sat up again and looked at Xander like he had the answer to whatever question it was she was trying to ask.
"Why what?"
"Why is that the question?" She fell back into the cushions and closed her eyes. "Who is asking?"
Shrugging, Xander slowly sat down on the sofa next to Ava. "Don't ask me. All this crazy is in your head."
She hummed thoughtfully for a moment. "Why my head, though?"
Miles fielded that one. "All your bad decisions are finally catching up to you."
Ava laughed wryly, eyes still closed. "Sounds about right. If this is karma, then I'm really in for it this time, yeah?"
"We." Xander corrected. "We're up this creek together."
"I hope you brought your paddle because I left mine back on land with all my marbles and the rest of this deck of cards."
"Nope. All I got is this monkey playing cymbals."
She was quiet long enough that he wondered if she had fallen asleep, but she mumbled. "We make quite a team, don't we?" And then she was asleep.
I told you not to get attached to her. Miles scanned her again before turning back to Xander. But you had to go and make friends.
Xander picked up the deep green cloak Ava dropped on the floor and set it over her lap. You've never complained before.
I never complain.
Picking up the box of donuts, Xander glared at his Ghost. You're complaining now.
Not complaining. Just saying. You were supposed to fix her team's insubordination and be done with them in a matter of months. Those were the orders. That was the plan. Now we're here.
There is more to life than blindly following orders.
Like disorder, chaos, and a mound of paperwork? Because that's what you've ended up with since you started acting like a Hunter.
Xander turned his back on his Ghost and walked across the room to set the box of donuts down next to the rest of the food. This is not the time for this conversation.
Miles hovered over Ava, his attention still on her even as he spoke. You're right. The time was when she killed Sorcha's Ghost and you lied for her.
We talked about it then. Xander reminded him, walking back toward the screen still playing Crucible live feed on mute. You told me it wasn't a recommended course of action. I told you to shut up. End of discussion.
This is not a recommended course of action. Miles repeated his routine advice.
Noted. Xander snapped as he settled down on the floor once more, his back to Miles.
Mumbling in her sleep, Ava pulled her legs up onto the sofa and curled up around her cloak. Greer was still sitting on the back of the sofa. She seemed to be deep in thought, or something. Xander would ask her later what was up with Ava. So far the Ghost hadn't been much help. She had been nearly as distant as Ava since arriving back at the Tower. Whatever it was that was going on, it seemed to be affecting both of them.
"I'm not abandoning her." He spoke out loud, sure neither Ava nor Greer could hear or were paying attention to him, but they were words he needed to say.
Miles opted to continue silently. I know, and that's nearly honorable. You'll have to update the Vanguard eventually.
Not now. Not yet. Let's wait until she can explain herself.
And if she never does? Or can?
We burn that bridge when we get to it.
Sounds like a bad idea.
If you'll remember I was, in fact, taught by the queen of bad ideas. This is nothing. Xander turned up the volume of the Crucible match just in time to hear Shaxx congratulate someone on a ten kill streak.
~ASDFGHJKL~
Hello I am not dead, just a very easily distracted jelly bean. yes, that is the scientific term, my friends. I'M SORRY BUT I GOT DISTRACTED WITH ROI IT IS BEAUTIFUL IT GAVE ME LIFE ;AKDS;A AFNKLDJ JAOGITBHN *cries over all the new lore* This is short and not a lot really happens I suppose, but next chapter a whole lot of stuff is put together and then we get back to the shooting and the explosions
Hopefully this all uploads correctly because I'm tired and if it doesn't it won't be fixed until tomorrow. My point is: I'm sorry for any mistakes you quick-to-read people might find I'll fix it Monday evening hopefully.
Order and Chaos - Qui Iudicant : You'll notice here that the pov changes from Ava to Xander when she starts to lose it again because she is fairly unreliable at this point. Sorcha is indeed not dead, and that's all I'm saying about that ;) Thing seems to like Aiden. Which makes total sense as Aiden is wonderful and all much love him. Time traveling shenanigans will begin to be revealed starting next chapter so stay tuned for that
jsm1978: *squints eyes at the word "interesting"* thank you...
This Is Sarcasm: ROI IS GLORIOUS IT GAVE ME LIFE IVE HARDLY SLEPT IN WEEKS AAAAAAAAAAAASDFJKAL;DFJF
Jayfeattheris Awesome: trench coat full of bees is my favorite line I use it all the time now. It needs to be a thing. I legit want to hear people mumbling under their breaths about a trench coat full of bees whenever something bizarre, but not unexpected, happens.