Chapter 11

"I'll talk to Remus as soon as he gets back then," I said decisively after swallowing back the urge to deny Draco's request. "That's all I can do, I'm not actually the head of the Order no matter what you might think."

"No, but you carry a lot of political weight, if you supported a decision in a meeting, just by lieu of your popularity and your importance to the cause other members are more likely to support you."

The fact that he remained so calm as he explained things to me only made me feel childishly angry at him. I was reminded once again how easily he had always managed to irritate me.

"Tonks, you can come back in now," I yelled to the door, deciding it might be better if there were another person in the room to focus my attention on till I calmed down.

"Well that's fortunate, I was starting to worry about what you might be doing to our guest that required hindering an Order member from doing their job."

"Remus!"

My weary-looking mentor ducked through the kitchen door with a wry smile on his face and an embarrassed Tonks following behind.

I flushed red at having been caught and glanced at Draco. He didn't look the least bit perturbed, in fact he looked expectant and I remembered the promise I had made barely a second ago.

I suddenly felt as if it might have been better had I just stayed in bed today.

"Care to explain yourself, Harry?"

"Sorry, Remus, I know I shouldn't have asked Tonks to leave her guard duty. It was irresponsible of me, I just wanted to try and talk to Draco a bit and figured he would be less likely to talk openly with me if there was an audience." I shrugged, trying to explain my actions without it coming across as making excuses.

Remus held my gaze calmly and I knew he was assessing how much of what I said was the truth and how much I might be omitting. Eventually he raised an eyebrow as if he knew that there was something I was omitting but he trusted me enough to let it slide.

He sat down with his customary sigh of relief at a chance to rest and I felt the equally customary twinge of worry every time I was reminded of the toll this was taking on him on top of his monthly transformations.

Draco cleared his throat just as I was about to get up to make another cup of tea for Remus, Tonks had plonked herself next to me so was apparently not going to make it herself. I rolled my eyes at him and got up anyway, I could talk and make tea at the same time and Draco could be as pissy about it as he liked.

"There was actually something I wanted to ask you Remus," I started as I set about using my wand to refill the kettle and switch the heat back on under it, reaching up to the cupboard for a cup because sometimes it was nice not using magic for absolutely every motion.

"Draco's asked what the Order plans to do about him and I wondered if we could discuss at the next meeting?"

"I don't see why not," Remus replied, "is there a reason you're talking to me about this when I'm sitting next to Draco?"

I turned around to see Remus looking between Draco and I, and Draco shifting uncomfortably in his seat but staying stubbornly silent. He looked up at me through the blonde strands of his hair and glared, I smothered a snort of laughter, I didn't think I had ever seen Draco Malfoy look so completely awkward.

"He, uh, thought if I asked, it would carry more weight," I answered, amusement colouring my voice and Draco only glared harder till I couldn't supress the bark of laughter from escaping.

"Yes, well, fine, we'll put it on the itinerary for the next meeting," Remus still looked a little bewildered at having to talk about someone as if they weren't in the room so he tried again to get Draco to talk. I turned back around to deal with finishing Remus' tea, the kettle having just whistled that it was done boiling. Draco was a big boy after all and if he could stand up to Voldemort and Death Eaters but not his old professor then there really was no hope for him.

"Is there a particular outcome you're hoping for Draco? I assume that is why you've asked for a decision to be made after all," Remus asked politely in his best concerned teacher voice, I smiled a little to myself hearing it.

"Well I was rather hoping that I could leave finally and get as far away as possible from Britain in the hopes of living a little longer. In case it has escaped your notice I'm not as suicidal as your little bunch of 'heroes'."

It was impossible not to hear the sarcasm in the way he said 'heroes' and I realised that before my imprisonment if I had heard Draco say something like that then I would have been at his throat immediately. Now I only felt vague amusement and an odd urge to roll my eyes the way I would if Ron were complaining about Hermione telling him off for something or other.

I couldn't even find it within me to be shocked at the change in my attitudes, it had been so gradual that at this point it just felt natural that I could treat Draco as a friend rather than an enemy. It made the reality of him leaving for some foreign country harder to bear but at least he would be safe.

I brought the cup of tea back to the table and placed it in front of Remus, I got a quick look of gratitude before he returned his attention to Draco, who was currently sitting with his arms folded across his chest protectively. Tonks was picking at her nails, reflexively making them longer then shorter then longer again, clearly bored with talking about Draco's future.

"I'll put forward the idea to the Order but I have to warn you there are some that may not be on board, after all it would mean that we wouldn't be able to keep tabs on you and you are a security risk. If there is even a chance that you might return to your father or get captured, it could mean the loss of many lives, you understand?"

"I understand, as long as you understand that I would willingly ingest a Blast-Ended Skrewt before I went back to that sick bastard and I'm not even talking about the Dark Lord. As for getting captured, I was very thorough in my plans to escape the Death Eater ranks, I have several safe houses set up and I know some very good glamours. I know how to disappear, they won't find me, I promise you that and if they do, well I've experience enduring their special brand of torture as well, I won't betray anyone here if it means their side will have a better chance of winning." Draco was looking so certain of himself by the end of his speech, his arms dropped to the table and his eyes shining, that I couldn't help but share his conviction.

Remus hmm'd, "Well we'll see what everyone decides and go from there," he replied diplomatically. He looked away and drank down his cooled tea in a few gulps before addressing Tonks.

"Nymphadora if you would be so kind as to take Draco back to his room now, I need to have a quick chat with Harry,"

"Honestly Remus, how many times do I have to ask you not to use my first name," the pink-haired witch huffed but she got up and waved at Draco to follow her anyway. I caught Draco's eye briefly before he left but I couldn't figure out what his expression meant at all and then he was gone so I just turned back to Remus and prepared myself for a tongue-lashing he had been too kind to give me in front of the others.

"Harry." His tone was firm but not quite disapproving so perhaps I wasn't in as much trouble as I thought, I still instinctively ducked my head.

"Yes?"

"You realise that even if you support this proposal there isn't much likelihood that many will agree to it? I'm willing to concede that Draco believes what he says from what I have seen but others won't, they won't trust a thing that comes out of the mouth of a Malfoy."

"But-"

"Harry, I know that he is not his father, you don't have to argue his case to me, I am just preparing you for what others will think," Remus looked at me patiently.

"Yeah, I get it, it's just I owe him my life and I'm pretty sure my sanity and if this is what he wants in return then I at least have to give it my best shot," I explained.

"Well Draco definitely won't be allowed into the meeting to argue his own case so you will have to argue it for him. Perhaps if you spoke about the escape, about how he helped you? You have only given us the essential details after all and some people are even muttering about how likely it is that you might have mixed some of that up. I know that you don't like talking about these things and it would be especially difficult in front of a group but it may be the only way, I wouldn't suggest it otherwise." Remus's voice was whisper soft with regret by the end but I still felt as if I were on the urge of a panic attack.

I stared at the table, eyes tracking the grain of the wood noting various burn marks and stains till my breathing had evened out. Remus reached across the table to clasp my shoulder.

"Harry?"

"Yeah," I breathed, "I'm okay."

"You don't have to, we can find another way of convincing them, we're not going to put your health at risk for this," his voice was firm and I looked up to smile faintly at him, feeling grateful for the millionth time that I still had him to rely on in all this. Even with Ron and Hermione, this war would have been much more difficult without Remus' support.

"No, you're right, no-one is going to understand why I trust him unless I explain it, let alone trust him themselves, I have to do this." Remus still looked as if her regretted ever mentioning but I felt sure of my decision, I had a debt to pay and if this was how I could do it then I was not about to back out.

"I'll be alright," I said, trying to sound convinced myself, Remus held my gaze a moment longer as if reassuring me he knew I was faking but he wasn't going to call me on it. He drew his hand back with a sigh and then cleared his throat.

"There's one more thing, Madam Pomfrey is coming in a couple of days to make a report on whether you'll be allowed back on field missions again, if there is any reason at all that you feel you aren't fit for field work, you must tell her, okay?"

"Of course,"

"I'm serious Harry, don't put on a brave face for this or you could end up putting others at risk and not just yourself,"

"I know, I understand, I won't hold anything back. I promise."

Remus sat back, satisfied, "Well, then, if you'll forgive this old heap of bones, I'm going to go for a nap before I'm back on duty," Remus smiled and got up, sending his empty tea cup over to the sink with a flick of his wand. Just before he left, I remembered there was another thing I was supposed to ask about.

"Oh Remus, wait, Draco wants to have a bit more freedom about the house as well, like going to the bathroom on his own and eating in the kitchen rather than his room and probably some other stuff. Aside from the bathroom visits, seeing as I'm not doing anything else I could take over watching him whenever he wants to leave his room if that's alright?" I asked.

"Sounds fine to me, I'll let everyone know," Remus smiled again and I smiled back, glad that this part at least was easy.

Then I was alone in the kitchen and I realised that I hadn't even touched my own cup of tea and neither had Draco touched his. I stared balefully at the two cold cups and tried to ignore the twisting in my stomach. I really should have stayed in bed.

When Madam Pomfrey stopped by the headquarters five days later, having been slightly delayed by other cases, I was sitting in the library with Draco. The place smelled so strongly of dust and dry paper that I was trying very hard not to sneeze every five seconds. Especially as the first couple times I had let myself sneeze, Draco had glared at me venomously.

He was probably used to old musty libraries in the Manor, I was decidedly not,

Draco it turned out left his room as often as possible so I spent an awful lot of time on unofficial guard duty. Everyone who was officially on the rota for watching Draco were more than happy to leave him with me, ecstatic even.

Since the changes had been organised I was pretty sure Tonks hadn't even seen Draco for more than two seconds, it almost seemed like they had organised it specifically so Draco was always already with Harry when it was Tonks' turn as guard.

Spending so much time with Draco had at least accomplished one thing, I was starting to sleep properly at night again without oversleeping in the morning and the more I moved about, the easier it got. The stiffness in my legs had eased a lot, there had been a strange moment on the second day of the arrangement when I had stumbled on the stairs and Draco had had to give me an arm to lean on but that was all.

Spending time with Draco had also meant being able to talk to him more, get him to open up a little. He didn't ever talk about his childhood or his family and we had both formed a silent agreement to avoid talking about Hogwarts, our former rivalry or the war. He did however talk about the things he was interested in, like the history and theory behind spells and the invention thereof.

Most of it went over my head, sometimes I asked Hermione about it but her explanations only confused me further. I wanted to get the two of them in the same room at some point but I figured it was still too early for that. There were also a lot of conversations about Quidditch and here I was more confident that I could hold up my end of the discussion.

Today though, Draco was reading and didn't seem likely to take kindly to any interruptions any time soon so I found a book on defensive spells and tried to memorise the more benign-looking ones.

It was Ron who poked his head in to tell me Madam Pomfrey was here, he glared suspiciously at Draco just the once which I took as a marked improvement. Draco of course just ignored him as always, focusing his gaze on me with an expression that seemed to be somewhere between, 'I hope everything's alright' and 'don't you dare leave me with Weasley'.

"Thanks Ron, can you grab hold of Kingsley? I think he's still about, if not just grab anyone, this shouldn't take long," I smiled at my best friend as he nodded his assent and shot Draco one last dark look before he won't off to get someone to stand guard for a few minutes.

Draco was still staring steadily at me and I turned to him with a huff.

"What?"

"This is to see if you can do field work again isn't it?"

"Very intuitive of you," I rolled my eyes, feeling prickly and defensive all of a sudden without understanding why.

"You know you're still not walking right, there's no reason for you to go rushing out risking your life all over again quite yet," Draco replied with an arched eyebrow looking at me for all the world as if I were about to go lay myself down at Voldemort's feet rather than going for a medical check-up.

"That's for Madam Pomfrey to decide I think you'll find," I grumbled, Draco continued to look at me disbelievingly which only made me more annoyed, "Stop looking at me like that," I snapped, "what do you care anyway? I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself in case you hadn't noticed."

"Well considering the effort I took to save your miserable life I'd be a bit annoyed if you went and got yourself killed quite so soon," now Draco seemed annoyed as well and I wondered how it had all gone downhill so quickly.

"I'm not planning to get myself killed but at some point I have to start pulling my weight again, I have enough people making excuses for me already, there are people risking their lives in this war every day. I'm not just going to abandon my friends!"

Draco's face went red, he seemed so livid and if I hadn't known any better I could have sworn there was worry beneath it all as well but then there was nothing. His expression wiped blank, his face still in a way that I had never seen before, I looked away quickly unable to see him looking so much like an emotionless soldier, so much like his father for even a second.

"Well, it's not my business if you want to carry on playing hero, that's what I got you out for I suppose, good luck with it Potter," I winced at the use of my last name and opened my mouth to reprimand him for it but then Ron came back with Kingsley in tow and I swallowed whatever I might have said and let myself be ushered out to see Madam Pomfrey.

Okay, bad news: now that I've moved back home I have no internet for the foreseeable future due to 'circumstances' (don't ask, life hates me) and have to rely on wherever I can get hold of free wifi so updates are dependent on that (hence being late) BUT good news: with no internet (and being away from my friends) I have so few distractions I'm getting more and more writing done :) Hope you've enjoyed this chapter anyway! And the next will get put up when I'm next able to pop by the wonderful wifi dispensing coffee shop I'm currently sitting in :)