A/N: This chapter is painfully short, I sincerely apologize. But the next won't be.

Hours later their small convoy finally came to a halt. Lori and Carol came dashing towards the truck instantly; wanting to make sure their children were alright. With grateful smiles offered to Evan they had their own short reunions, while the men all gathered by their truck, Glenn pulling out the map again. They needed somewhere to go. They needed somewhere to stay.

"We've been to these towns," Rick said, tracing his finger along the map. He turned towards Evan who had joined them silently. "Is there anywhere else you haven't been that's not too far?"

Instead of answering the reality of what had just happened hit her like a ton of bricks, causing her to stagger. Dale, who was closest to her, reached out to help but she pushed him off, taking a step backwards. They had left him there. He had saved their lives by giving his and they had just left him there. To die. To come back as a walker. Tears burned her eyes and when she first heard the violent sobs she didn't realize they were coming from deep within her chest. Her back hit the side of the van, and her hands shot up to shield her face from view. And then she wept. She didn't only weep because they had lost a friend, but because of the fear that had been on her since the herd first approached them but that she had been forced to ignore. Under the truck, with a child in each arm, she had been forced to be strong. She had to stay silent, she had to keep them silent, and she had to keep them safe. Now that responsibility wasn't on her anymore, so she could finally let it all out. Daryl was on top of the van, keeping his eyes open, that responsibility rested on him now, and not on Evan. Hands found her again but this time she didn't push them off.

"It's okay," Dale said kindly. "At least we're still alive."

Evan shook her head violently and lowered her hands. "Nothing about this is okay." She was stuttering, choking on the words and sobs. "I'm thinking Lauren was right, and I hate that I think that."

The others had come to join the small gathering, and they were all listening to her words. To her breakdown. Some of them angrily, wanting her to shut up and deal with it. Others with sympathy and understanding.

"Who's Lauren?" It was Shane who finally asked what they all wanted to know.

"She was the woman I first met when I ran from my apartment. With her two teenage daughters." Another sob quavered her body and her lips trembled as bad as her voice.

"What did she say?" Glenn interjected, stepping closer.

"It's not what she said. It's what she did." Evan wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "When it was just the four of us, hiding in a basement, she told me that this wasn't a life. This wasn't enough to keep on fighting. It wasn't worth it. It was crueler to be forced to live in a nightmare than to die."

Silence. Everyone listening intently.

"Her daughters were thirteen and sixteen. And she shot them. Killed them. And then she put the gun to her own head."

No one had anything to say. Evan knew why. She understood why. Now she had calmed down, most of the grief having exploded already. She put her hand on Dale's, resting on her shoulder.

"I'm okay. I'm sorry. What she did wasn't right, I know that. I do know that," she said. "If you show me that map again I'll see if I can be of help."

Ignoring their looks she moved past them, giving Dale a grateful smile, and stepped up next to Rick. He said nothing, instead just motioned towards the map. She leaned forward, studying the lines and names carefully. She knew she'd been to a few of the places, but she also knew others who had visited the other towns. After looking in the close vicinity she started looking beyond that. Far beyond that.

"We could drive down here," she said, pointing towards Tallahassee and Jacksonville. "Our best bet would probably be to try and find a really remote farmhouse."

The sheriff and the others seemed to consider her words. Finally Rick nodded. "We'll head on that way for now, because at this point there isn't much else we can do." He turned towards the others. "Does that sound fair?"

When no one protested he instructed everyone to get back in their cars so they could keep going. Evan headed for the green truck again, having gotten used to traveling in it. Now, however, she was joined by Shane, Glenn and Andrea. And this time she took the passenger seat, next to Shane who was driving. Soon they were back on the road, everyone's spirit a little lower than it had been previously.

"How's the wound?" Evan asked when night started to fall around them. Shane took his eyes off the road for a second to look at her.

"It's fine. Thank you." He sounded sincere, and Evan wondered if this person was who he had been before the world went to shit.

"How did you manage that, by the way?" In the backseat Andrea and Glenn had fallen asleep, but Evan couldn't even attempt to close her eyes. Not yet. Fear was still gnawing too much.

"I cut myself on my own stupid knife," he admitted, his ears turning slightly red. Evan couldn't help but grin, and he caught it. "Not a word."

She held her hands up. "It's okay, secret is safe with me. Although," she added, drawing the word out slightly. "It's not like I'm very scared of someone who might take himself out long before he can get back at me for blabbing."

He heard the teasing tone in her voice and only scowled at her.

"So," she said, changing the subject. "How do you feel about heading south?"

Shane shrugged, his hands gripping the wheel tightly. "It's fine, I guess. As good an idea as any."

"Yeah we do seem to be running out of options," she agreed. Sighing she stretched her legs as much as she could in the cramped seat. "I'm sorry, by the way. The meltdown," she clarified when he shot her a confused look.

"That's alright."

"It just got to be too much. I understand why we didn't help T-Dog, but that doesn't mean I can't feel guilty. We still abandoned him, even if that was the right thing to do." Whatever casual aura had been enveloping them had disappeared.

"It was the right thing to do," Shane echoed and now his tone had changed again.

When silence again settled over them Evan wondered how far Shane would go because "it was the right thing to do".