Chapter 11: The Doctor's Visit

The next morning started late. Peeta and I were almost too tired to greet the morning but I had my meeting with Dr. Aurelius and Peeta wanted to spend some time with Orion.

"Morning Orion." We greeted, seeing the boy already sitting at the table when we emerged from our room.

"Good morning." He smiled back, stuffing a piece of toast in his mouth.

Peeta and I sat on the ends of the table, just like we used to when we came here before the Games.

When we finished, I grabbed my coat and started out of the suite when there was a knock on the door.

"Hello," I greeted, opening the door. "Oh, hello Doctor Aurelius."

At the door, there is an older looking man standing with a briefcase. His thick brimmed glasses sat on the end of his nose.

"Hello Katniss," he says. "I was thinking that we could move your appointment for you and Peeta here. I might be able to get a better… hold, on your situations."

I nod and remove my coat. "Alright."

"Okay, shall we start then." He says as I lead him into the living room. "Hello Peeta."

Peeta is startled by the doctor's presence. "Hello Doctor Aurelius. Nice to see you."

"I'll be right with you Doctor." I say, letting the man go and settle in the living room. "He moved the appointments here." I tell Peeta.

"I see that." He says, shaking his head slightly. "What should I do with Orion now that Aurelius is here?"

"Well, I took him up to the garden yesterday; you could go up there and finish the story. Whatever you do, make sure he has a sitter for our joint meeting."

"Alright, I'll figure something out. See you in a bit." Peeta says. He kisses my forehead, then my lips and then we separate.

"Now, doctor, would you like anything before we start?" I ask as I enter the living room. "Tea, coffee, water?"

"No thank you. I think we should just get started."

"Okay." I say, sitting on one of the overstuffed chairs.

"Well, to begin, I believe some congratulations are in order. You and Peeta getting married, that was a great thing for both of , actually, out of what I can see, for Peeta at least. We'll see how you're doing now."

"Well, thank you anyways." I smile. "Just out of curiosity, how was Peeta yesterday? He didn't say anything to me."

"Oh, he's fine. And I think your decision that you made last night, to have a family with him, will make him even better." Aurelius says.

"Okay. Good." I smile.

"Now, Katniss, this time is for you. How have you been? I know you said on the phone that you were having some trouble with taking care of Orion. You didn't seem to be in my opinion."

"Well, I've been good. There have been some very rough patches since the wedding. Gale came and that put a…."

I pause, that moment in the woods with Gale is flashing in front of my eyes. It's like a dream that I can't shake because even though I know it didn't go that far, in my mind's eye right now, he is inside me.

I know that I start crying but I make no move to wipe my tears and calm myself.

"Katniss, what happened with Gale after the wedding?" the doctor asks.

I close my eyes and shake my head to clear it.

"He tried to rape me." I whisper. Dr. Aurelius's eyes go wide.

"And this, this was before you and Peeta took in Orion? That is correct?"

"Yes."

"I see." He says, writing in his notebook. "Katniss, I think that is one reason that taking Orion in has been hard on you. You just experienced an extremely traumatizing event in your life and then a fellow tributes' son becomes your responsibility. That would be hard on anyone but, knowing your past, it must have been like torture to you."

I shake my head. "I just… every time I would spend more than an hour with Orion, I would start to crack. I would leave whenever I could and try to escape somewhere but all of my safe spaces are gone now. And with Peeta so unstable, which was killing me to see, I couldn't leave Orion for too long.

"I see." He says. "Katniss, your reaction was perfectly normal. It might have just seemed amplified because of your past. It was very similar with what happened to Peeta. The only difference was that he is still recovering from the hijacking which caused his violent outbursts. Both of you just went through so much that this new task was just a bit too much for you."

"Are you saying… are you saying that we shouldn't continue to care for Orion and… and… and possibly not have kids because of the way we react?" I ask. This would kill me.

"No, not at all. I think that what you and Peeta are doing is quite admirable and I think when you return home, everything will be fine. And I think that having a family, having your own children, will be a world of good for you two."

The meeting continues on and soon Peeta joins us.

"Welcome Peeta." Dr. Aurelius says. I make room for him in my seat. I need him now, to stabilize me, more than I ever have.

There is a beat of silence and then the doctor speaks again.

"So, after meeting with both of you separately, I have determined a few things." He starts. "First, even with the lapses and such, you are both reacting quite normally to your situation. You both readjusted very well to being back in District 12. And, this proves that you can in fact adjust. After what you have all been through, this alone is a thing that you should both be proud of. When it comes to Orion, you'll both be fine. It's just going to take some time.

"Peeta, you didn't seem to respond well because you are still healing but you seem to be fine now. I saw you when I first came in and everything seemed fine. I think it was the initial shock of the rebellion finally wearing off. Things always get worse before they can get better.

"And Katniss, in a less violent and more motherly way, you were going through the same thing."

Peeta seems to perk up at the words of the doctor. He isn't crazy, or cracking, and neither am I. I look up and see him smiling at me.

"Now, I heard that you were going to try for children on Flickerman's program."

"Yes, that's right." Peeta says.

"That really shows improvement on your mental state and so much more Katniss. You are finally accepting the world you helped create and having a child, your own, will be very good for you. And Peeta." The doctor said, his glasses slipping down his nose.

"Well, thank you." I said. "I guess I really have moved forward."

Dr. Aurelius put his notebook on his lap. "That's just it, Katniss. You really have. You've changed so much over the past few years. You've finally given into your heart. Into Peeta. And you've done it all of your own free will."

I smile lightly and grab Peeta's hand, squeezing it lightly.

Soon, the doctor leaves and we go and begin to pack up our items. We're leaving for District 12 in the morning.

"Katniss, how would you feel about staying here for another day or two?" Peeta asks, putting some shirts in a suitcase.

I zip up a garment bag and look at him. "I guess. But why?" I ask.

"Well, I would feel better if we had stuff for the baby already ordered and purchased while we're here if that's alright with you."

I smile to myself. That makes a lot of sense really.

There aren't a lot of places in 12 that sell baby furniture and clothes. And my mother never had anything for Prim and I.

Prim.

"Peeta," I say. "How about we stay for another two days and get some baby stuff, and some stuff for Orion too." I tell him. I shake my head though. "How do you feel about Primrose for a name if it's a girl?" I ask. I need to get that question out of my head.

He only looks at me, walking over and taking my hand. We sit on the edge of the bed.

"Katniss, are you sure about that?" he asks.

"Well, honestly… no. But we'll need to start thinking about this soon." I smile, looking into is pure blue eyes.

"We'll think more when we get home." He says, kissing my forehead. "Now, I'll call Effie and make the arrangements." He walks out of the room to make the call.

When he comes back, we let Orion's sitter know that we need to run a few errands and then we go to the furniture district of the city.