A/N: In response to the review about paragraph length: I apologize for that on the last chapter, I actually did think about it, but I forgot to go back and split up the long ones. I tried to keep that in mind on this chapter though :) Hope you all enjoy this chapter, again not much action, but Regina and Emma have more intense discussion :) Let me know what you think, and thanks to everyone who follows, favourites, and reviews!
"His name is Henry," Regina whispered suddenly into the silence
They had been sitting together in a tight embrace for what seemed like hours, although it was probably only about ten minutes. She wasn't sure why she was bringing this up now, but she felt like the blonde needed a distraction, and she herself needed to get this off her chest. Something about the already established intimacy of the moment made this feel right, and urged her to speak her mind.
"What?" Emma pulled back from where her head was still buried in Regina's shoulder, looking in to her eyes, her face slightly masked with confusion.
"The boy in the photograph," Regina explained, never taking her eyes off Emma's.
"oh," was all Emma replied at first. They continued to gaze at each other in silence for a few moments before Emma asked: "Why is he important to you?"
"How do you know he is important?" Regina questioned in turn. Emma just chuckled.
"I saw the look in your eyes. He is important." Regina sighed, looking away from the blonde, unsure how to explain or justify the situation to the blonde. How could she put into words the great connection and love she felt for the boy? How could she make Emma understand what he meant to her and how difficult her decision was going to be?
"So what happened to him?" Emma interrupted her thoughts. "I mean, did he…" she was suddenly hesitant, seemingly unsure how to proceed. "Did he like…. Die or something?" she finished softly, absent-mindedly allowing her fingers to play with the hem of her shirt as she was also suddenly keen to avoid eye contact. Regina's head snapped up from where she had been examining her now folded hands in her lap.
"What?" her tone was sharp, causing Emma's eye's to immediately find hers once more.
"I'm sorry, I-" she mumbled.
"No, no no no no. He's not dead… it's just," Regina took a deep breath, trying to organize her thoughts to explain.
"I… I volunteer at the Boys and Girls club," she starts, once again glancing away from the bright green orbs drilling into her soul. "Henry attends the summer camp, and comes to my free tutoring sessions during the school year. I've known him for about a year and a half now. He's a foster kid, like you were." She glanced back up at Emma to gauge her reaction.
"That's awesome that you do that!" Emma smiled, "Programs like that are a saving grace for us foster kids."
"Yes, well Henry definitely needs it," Regina sighed, not quite able to smile back at Emma. Emma stared at her a while longer before declaring, "You must have a really special bond with that kid."
"Or do you get this emotional over all of them?" she added teasing. Regina finally chuckles.
"While I do love all of the kids I work with, you are right, Henry is very special to me. I have no idea why, but he seems to have connected and bonded with me differently than he has with any of the other volunteers. Actually any other person I've seen him interact with. I think he is very lonely. It's not that he doesn't have any friends, it just seems like he doesn't really relate to the other kids his age."
"So, what did happen with him then?" Emma questioned further, "and don't say nothing. There has to be a reason you were zoning out and staring at his picture like that when I came home. Just tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help. I mean, even if I didn't owe you my life, I'd want to help you." Emma reached out to tuck a dark lock behind Regina's ear, then left her hand sitting there, cupping Regina's neck comfortingly.
"He wants me to take him in. Be his foster mother. I don't know if I can do it. I'm only 23,I don't know anything about parenting, or children. I can hardly keep my own life together, how am I supposed to be responsible for someone else's?" Regina's voice was steadily rising, as she finally allowed herself to express the shear panic and anxiety she had been repressing since getting off the phone with Allison Thompson.
"Hey, hey, relax," Emma soothed, sliding her hand down over Regina's shoulder to rub gently up and down her biceps. "I'm pretty sure the system doesn't work that way, even if he wants you to be his mother. You don't have to worry about it, it's not your responsibility, and it's out of your control. You just have to explain that to him. He might not like it now, but he'll understand."
"No actually, that is exactly how the system is working at the moment," Regina replied, trying once again to reign in her panic and just concentrate on the soothing path of Emma's hand up and down her arm. "It's a more complicated situation than I've yet explained."
"Then tell me. Start from the beginning, it's ok, I have plenty of time to listen," Emma encouraged, and Regina realized, it was this invitation, this offer to have someone to just listen, that she had been needing. She felt as if a weight was lifted as she began explain to Emma about Henry's foster parents, the investigation, and finally the group home.
"So basically, if I don't accept the request to be his temporary foster parent, he will put in the group home until they find another available family," she finished.
"You can't let him go to a group home," was Emma's immediate response. Her eyes had gone stony, her body becoming rigid. It was obvious to Regina there were unpleasant memories playing in Emma's mind.
"I know. I really don't want him to be there either. I just… I don't know if I can do it. I'm in school; I hardly have any time at home as it is with the volunteering and Gold's internship. That workload is going to double once my law classes start again, plus I will be studying for the boards. How will I have time to take care of a child? Living with me will be no better than living with the Dixons, sure I would never lock him up in his room, and I'd always make sure he had food, but I would be gone just as much. He would be alone just as often."
"If you take him in, it will probably be temporary," Emma started, finally pulling back out of herself. "With a good recommendation from you, he will easily be placed into the next available home. But if you let him stay in that group home, he will never leave it. It will be permanent."
"That is not what the social worker said," Regina replied quickly, "she said as soon as home became available he would be transferred."
"Of course that's what she said," Emma snorted in disbelief, "but that is definitely not what is going to happen. Let me explain to you a thing I learned about the system when I was in it. There are a lot of kids. A lot of new kids, being born, being abandoned, being orphaned, every single day. Now, new families interested in being foster parents look immediately for new blood. Children who are freshly orphaned because their parents died are generally well behaved. They come from good loving families, and the worst thing they do is sit in their room and cry a lot. They are low maintenance, easy to deal with. They are the first snatched up when the foster family becomes available.
Once a kid has been in the system a while though, they are viewed as dangerous, high maintenance, difficult to handle, and that reputation only gets worse when they are placed in a group home. They may tell you that Henry will get the first available foster family, but ultimately it is up to the foster family which kid they take in, and a I guarantee you no one is going to take a kid who has already gone through multiple foster homes and is currently in a group home. No matter how sweet and lovely Henry is, no family is going to give him a fair chance. Once he sets foot in that group home, he is not leaving." She said all of this so forcefully and with so much conviction that Regina didn't once think to doubt her.
"So what the hell am I supposed to do?" Regina asked, anguish evident in her voice.
"Well I can't tell you what to do," Emma sighed after a long contemplative pause. "I can tell you what the next 10 years of Henry's life will be like if you leave him in that group home, but I can't tell you what to do with your life. If you decide to take him in, that has to be your decision, and yours alone. However, I can offer some suggestions. To me, it looks like you truly love him and really do want to help him. You are just afraid."
"Of course I'm afraid!" Regina burst out in frustration. Why does she suddenly feel like Emma is making her into the enemy? Emma seemed to realize what she was feeling based on her outburst, and immediately softened.
"If you do decide you want to do this," Emma started hesitantly, "just know that you won't have to do it alone. I know we haven't known each other long, but I owe you my life, and I would do anything for you. I also would do anything for a foster kid in trouble. I know what it is like, and I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try to help. If you are afraid of not having time to care for a kid, I can help. Keep in mind, he will be in school at the same time you are in class. I have a fairly regular 9-5 schedule so I could take him in the afternoons and help him with his homework while you study. You would probably have to give up the volunteering work at least during your school year though, but honestly I think it would be worth it. Anyone can tutor kids at the Boys and Girls club, and I'm sure they would have no trouble replacing you, but not anyone can take care of Henry, and he needs you."
"What about your schooling?" Regina inquires in a whisper, not quite able to comprehend the gravity of what Emma is offering.
"I take night classes, by the time I have to get to class Henry will be going to bed anyways."
"We've known each other for exactly three weeks, and you are offering to raise a child with me." Regina stated stiffly, pulling away from Emma, as her mind reeled.
"All right, first of all, this is supposed to be a temporary situation, until another foster home opens up, we wouldn't be raising a child, merely taking care of him until he has a better option than a group home," Emma pointed out. "That is unless you want it to be permanent?" she questioned. When Regina did not answer, opting to continue staring straight ahead seemingly unresponsive, Emma continued, in hopes that Regina was at least still listening to her.
"Secondly, while I do like the friendship we have been developing, and I do owe you my life and would do anything to help you, this offer has very little to do with you. I can't not help now that I know about the situation. I know what Henry has been through, what he has faced, and what he will continue to face if he is placed in the group home. I know because I have been there," she emphasized, "and therefore, I cannot stand by and let him be placed in a group home. Like I said, it is up to you whether or not you take this on, but I swear to you I will not let him remain at a group home. Even if I have to go become his foster parent myself, I will make it work, I will keep him safe!" She said all this with such ferocity that Regina was forced to look at her and once again contemplate Emma's rough past.
"I understand," Regina finally spoke. Then more softly, with pleading barely evident in her voice she asked, "Before you do anything, can you at lease give me some time? A few days, just to process and plan before I decide what I want to do?"
"Yeah, I can do that," Emma smiled reassuringly, leaning over to pat Regina on the knee before standing up. "It's getting late, and I have to be at work bright and early in the morning, so I think I'm going to head to bed." She crossed the room quickly, slipping through the door of the study, before turning to peak back in at Regina who was still seated motionless on the couch.
"umm…" Emma said suddenly shy, "I just wanted to say thank you. For tonight I mean. For listening, and for confiding in me. I feel honored that you would trust me with something so important." Regina looked up at her, eyes still slightly glossed over.
"Yeah," she murmured, "you too." Nothing more was said, and Emma gently closed the door of the study before quietly climbing the stairs up to the guest room.