Episode 11: Cloudstar, Gray Wing, Graystripe

"Welcome to the world's most watched feline game show- Win a Date with Nightcloud!" Leafpool meowed. "I'm sure you're all wondering what happened to Socks and Brokenstar at the end of the last episode. Well, Socks is in the hospital recovering from his toy train-related injuries, and is resting uncomfortably. Brokenstar spent the weekend in Smiley Dayz Insane Asylum for the Criminally Insane, but was released this morning. His toy train was taken away from him as punishment for beating Socks. Now on with the show! Here's your host- Nightcloud!"

The black she-cat waltzed onto the stage. "I'm ready for another show! How about you, Leafy?"

The tabby-and-white announcer nodded. "I'm always ready! I think I'm going to doodle little stars on my whiteboard today."

"Ugh! You are such a she-cat!" Brokenstar grumbled from the side of the stage.

"Says the tom wearing a pink sparkly sweater!" Leafpool growled. "I ain't the only she-cat here."

"Don't you dare say anything about my sweater!" the tom spat. "Nightcloud made this for me!"

Suddenly an elderly gray she-cat ran onto the stage, flinging herself at the security guard. "Oh, my little Broken-baby, I knew you loved your sweater!"

Nightcloud stifled a laugh. "Of course he does, Yellowfang. I made it for him. I made a lovely sweater."

"Well, I made him another one," the surprise guest meowed, yanking the pink sweater off of her son. "Here, Sweetie, wear this sweater now!" She shoved a light green sweater with a rainbow stitched on it over Brokenstar's head.

"Mom, I don't want to wear another sweater!" the tom groaned.

Yellowfang stood back, admiring her handy-work. "You look so handsome, baby boy!"

The host coughed loudly. "Yellowfang, I have a show to run."

"Oh yeah," the gray she-cat meowed. "Leafy, tell Nightcloud who the contestants are today!"

The tabby-and-white she-cat looked confused, as if she were wondering if she had to follow Yellowfang's orders. "Um…today we've got Cloudstar, Gray Wing, and Graystripe!"

The three toms padded onto the stage, Graystripe staring down at his paws as he climbed into the chair next to Nightcloud. "I'm going to lose today. I'm going to lose today," he repeated to himself.

The host smiled devilishly. "Afraid of making Millie mad again, are we?"

"Oh yes," the tom replied. "She made me sleep in the apprentices den for a week after I was on last time! It was horrible!"

"Well, let's make her mad again today," Nightcloud meowed. "Leafy, what are these hooligans playing for today?"

Leafpool glanced down at her pink notecard. "Today's prize is taking Nightcloud to Thunderstar's Magical Fairground, brought to you by thunder- a scary thing from every storm!"

"That's a…nice prize," Gray Wing meowed slowly. "I really don't think my nephew would run a magical fairground, though. He's much too serious for that."

"You just be quiet," Nightcloud hissed. "You don't know what Thunder does on his days off! Now for the first question: Would you eat deathberries for me?"

Gray Wing's eyes widened. "Would I kill myself for you? No way!"

"I wouldn't choose to, but I'm sure Millie will force me to eat deathberries if I win," Graystripe answered.

Cloudstar was shaking his head. "The only she-cat I'd eat deathberries for is my mate, Birdflight!"

"All three of you were wrong!" the host hissed. "You were supposed to say 'Of course I would, my dear Nightcloud.' You're all failures! But…I'll give Graystripe a point for his answer. Millie is so mean!"

Leafpool drew a pink tally mark next to gray tom's name. "That's one point for Graystripe!"

Nightcloud nodded seriously, picking up the next notecard. "Question two: What will you do for our kits?"

"I ain't having kits with you!" Gray Wing cried. "You aren't Turtle Tail or Storm!"

"What kind of game show is this?" Cloudstar asked. "You guys just pick toms that already have mates, abduct them from their dens, lock them in steel cages backstage-"

"SHUT UP!" Nightcloud screeched. "We can't let the audience know what goes on back stage!"

The director, who was sitting behind the camera with a horrified look on her face, quickly turned around to address the audience. "We certainly do not lock the toms in cold, steel cages, and we certainly don't starve them or poke them with sticks, either. So don't listen to Cloudstar. And don't go backstage. I repeat, do not go backstage!"

Graystripe turned to face Nightcloud. "Um…yeah, I can't have kits with you either. Millie would be furious, and I'm pretty sure my kits would be, too. The three I have with Millie already think I love Stormfur more than them."

The host slumped in her chair. "This episode is not going so well. No one gets a point!"

Yellowfang padded over to her former co-host. "Now you know how I felt on The Yellowfang and Nightcloud Show! None of those episodes went very well!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nightcloud cried, giving Yellowfang an upset look. "That's it's all my fault?"

"The score is still one point for Graystripe, no points for Gray Wing or Cloudstar!" Leafpool meowed, rushing over and pulling Yellowfang away from Nightcloud.

The host huffed angrily and picked up another notecard. "Question three: Who is your favorite Clan cat?"

Cloudstar answered first. "Birdflight, obviously. She was my mate, after all."

Graystripe answered next. "Silver- wait, I mean Millie!" He turned to the camera, his amber eyes wide with fright. "Millie, darling, you're the only Clan cat I care about! I don't care about Silverstream at all, I swear!"

Gray Wing shook his head slowly at Graystripe's nervousness. "Um…Thunderstar I guess."

"I'll give all three of them points," Nightcloud meowed, "but give Graystripe an extra point cuz I want him to win."

"No!" he cried. "I don't want to win! Millie will murder me!"

Leafpool laughed as she drew tally marks next to the toms' names. "That's three points for Graystripe, one point for Gray Wing, and one point for Cloudstar!"

Tansy glanced at her Hello Kitty watch. "Nightcloud, you need to end the show now. We don't have time for the last question. ClanTV needs this studio cleared out in thirty minutes."

"Then I guess Graystripe's the winner!" the host announced.

"No! I can't win!" the gray tom yowled. "I refuse! Ask another question! Recount the tally marks! Do something! Anything!"

Brokenstar padded up to him. "I'll do something for you, Graystripe."

"Thank you!"

The security guard then whacked the winner with a giant stuffed Barney toy, knocking Graystripe off of the stage.

"…thanks," he mumbled quietly, rubbing his now very sore head.

Yellowfang walked in front of Tansy's camera. "Isn't my son great?"