Above and Below

Legal Disclaimer: Sqaure Enix owns Final Fantasy XIII

Dear Readers,

I present to you Chapter 11 of Above and Below. A combination of writers block and a distraction with another story I'm trying to pen has been terrible for me with this, though I assure you that I fully intend to complete this story. Apologies also on the late responses to comments. I do very much appreciate the comments and reviews. Now, without further ado, here is the next chapter!

~Logos Minus Pity

Ch. 11. Tidal Patterns

Not even two weeks had yet passed on Snow and Serah's month-long honeymoon to Pulse and Lightning knew she was already going stir-crazy in Bodhum. By some ungodly power, Rygdea had firmly approved a month-long, fully paid vacation for Light, from which she was on strict orders not to end early. While many would appreciate such an extended period of break, Lightning was rapidly finding it impossible to relax. Being "on vacation" was too slow, too…stagnant. She was a person used to being constantly in motion. She needed to be doing something, to be productive. Not to just sit around and "relax".

And everything was, undoubtedly, further compounded and made worse by the fact that she was not house-sitting for Serah by herself.

Vanille and Fang both had made the Farron residence their new, if only temporary, home. This was of course by Serah's invitation, and Lightning was not angry about that, but for some completely inexplicable reason, she was doubly aware that their constant presence served to only fuel her edge—an edge, some distant part of her mind knew, that was becoming increasingly volatile and reactive. She felt as though she was suffocating at times.

The first several days were fine. Lightning was still so busy mentally readjusting herself to the recent changes in her family life that she may as well have been alone for all that there was still company present in the house. But once she had regained enough of her inner bearings, the living situation at hand suddenly seemed to blindside her at the most inopportune times. To be fair, it wasn't as though Fang was rude, or Vanille didn't clean up after herself (though she could be rather grumpy when she first got up in the morning). No, they were, in all honesty, excellent housemates, from cleaning up after themselves to cooking meals for everyone to being generally well-mannered guests. But these rational factors were quickly being buried beneath something else.

Perhaps she didn't want to examine herself and why she felt so threatened by the closeness of her two friends, but regardless, all Lightning was aware of was the fact that being around her former comrades was agitating her.

So Lightning first did what was second nature to her. She tried to escape it. But any path of running away had been equally made inaccessible to her. She couldn't go back to work, since Rygdea's orders had strictly forbidden it (damn you, Serah!). She tried her best to get Amodar to let her in on a few assignments, but he, too, staunchly refused. At least he had given her free reign to use the military base facilities and to spar with whoever was willing. The sparring had worked, but only for a short time. Almost to her dismay, Lightning found that there was not a single soldier who could hold their own against her for even half a minute.

In the absence of any truly challenging adversary, she had taken to putting herself against entire squads, and even forcing handicaps on herself to try to even the odds—no magic, wearing weighted training vests, switching to weapons she wasn't fully trained with, even going unarmed. None of it mattered. The sparring was only a distraction at best, and after a few sessions like this, she had no opponents willing to face her on the whole of the base.

And so the agitation built under her skin, until it became impossible to hold back. And the part of her that Serah called Claire got sealed again behind a wall of cold ice as Lightning regained steely control.

It was only a matter of time until things came to a head.

What the exact deriding comment was that had left her mouth in response to Vanille asking again if she wanted something from the store, not even Lightning was sure of. What was certain was the fact that it was the last straw, for someone at least.

Fang's hand smashed against the wall, turning heads toward where she had just entered the kitchen. Her gaze was thunderous as it flickered first to Vanille before settling on Lightning.

"We need to talk." Watching Lighning's eyes darken at her tone, she continued before a retort could be made. "Now."

"Fine."

Fang half waved at Vanille, whose eyes were now wide and frightened. "Vanille, Lightning and I are going for a bit of a walk. Keep charge of the house."

They were able to get about fifty yards from the porch before Fang could no longer control her anger. She rounded on Lightning explosively.

"What is your problem, Light? I've heard stories enough about how you used to treat everyone around you, Serah included, but don't think that I'll roll over and take it from you like everyone else did."

Lightning hissed in a breath. "How dare you—"

"Oh, spare me the theatrics, already. What the hell did I ever do to you, huh?" asked Fang angrily, barely aware that she was nearly yelling now. But, dammit, she had had it up to here with Lightning's antics, and to hell with it if she was going to deal with it or her reticence any longer.

"What did you do?" repeated Lightning. Her voice was not yet at yelling frequency but it still burned with an icy incredulity.

"Yeah," Fang retorted. "What did I do? Forgive me if I missed out on some cue here, but last I checked, I wasn't the one acting like a manic teenager throwing a temper tantrum. I was only minding my own daily business; I was just trying to get on with my life, while you're going off the deep end, and you're the one—"

"You lied!" yelled Lightning, cutting off Fang before she could continue, seeming to shock even herself with the outburst.

"You…you lied! You said—you promised—that we would all stay together afterward, because we were family, you said!" Lightning yelled, half choking on the words, unable to stop herself now that she had let the trickle of emotion run out in a torrent. "But you lied and you cut us loose instead!"

Whatever retort Fang had been preparing died on her tongue then and there. Lightning may not have always been the easiest of their friends to read, but the current look in her normally impersonal, glacial eyes spoke volumes. The vulnerability, confusion, and defensive anger…just how many times did a person have to be left behind? How many times would they be forced to stand alone before they came to fear—and expect—it from everyone they knew?

"Light…" began Fang. Her voice was warm and inviting, at odds with the tone she had taken only moments earlier. "Claire…c'mere."

Fang reached out, firmly pulling Lightning in and turning her around to envelope the stubborn woman in a tight hug. She ignored the angry protests and flailing attempts to escape, accepting every thrown elbow and every muffled curse directed at her.

She simply held her arms around the whole of Light's body, resting her cheek against the strawberry-blond hair, and talking into her ear.

"I'm sorry, Claire. We didn't want to leave you all. I'm sorry that we went away, but we're back now, okay? We're really back. And we're not going anywhere any time soon."

Fang could feel the full body shiver run down Lightning before her seemingly ever tight muscles finally—finally—relaxed, fully giving into the embrace. Fang just continued to hold her there, running fingers through her hair and drawing circles on her back, and feeling the hot, salty moisture of tears soak into her shoulder. After a time, though, she felt Lightning begin to tense up again as she drew back, now obviously embarrassed at remarkable dip in her normally perfect mask.

Fang let her stumble back and away, ignoring the tear-stained cheeks and red eyes, and instead throwing her arms back behind her head and exhaling melodramatically to catch Light's attention. "Don't think this means I'll be giving you any pity points when we spar, sweetheart."

It had the exact effect she wanted. Two appropriately affronted piercing blue eyes snapped up to grab hers, a pretty scowl marking her face despite the still burning cheeks. Light huffed derisively. "As if I need that to beat you to a pulp."

Fang chuckled happily in response and began slowly leading the way back toward the house. "That's my girl."

As Lightning caught up to match strides, Fang casually threw and arm around her shoulders, and though she spoke lightly, she also spoke in complete seriousness. "Just so you know, Light…Lady Luck help the poor bastard to win Vanille's heart, 'cause I don't think I'll ever want to stop pounding the guy into a flan, no matter how handsome or nice he is. Etro knows it already tears me up something fierce seeing her starting to make her way in the world. I guess part of me will always miss the good old days of just me and her, and me looking out for her."

And that, bless her soul, was the most that Fang ever said about the entire incident. Lightning apologized in a low tone to Vanille when they returned to the house, but neither ever mentioned anything about it, whether in seriousness or in jesting, thereafter.

Vacation was rapidly drawing to a close, now, with barely a week left before Serah and Snow would be returning home. Then Lightning would be on her way back to Oerba and to work. It was pleasantly surprising to admit that her time off had ultimately been both relaxing and enjoyable, despite whatever reservations she may have initially harbored. She was currently at the beach with her housemates, she and Fang having just arrived from using the GC base for a casual round at the shooting range (Fang's once abysmal gun work had markedly improved) to meet Vanille.

Whereas Fang greedily threw herself down on the sand next to Vanille, closing her eyes and drinking in the afternoon sun. Light lowered herself down at a more leisurely pace, opting to sit rather than lay down.

She let her two friends chat about their day as she enjoyed the cool breeze and the warm air. She didn't frequent the beach, but had to admit that it was nice to enjoy the sand and sea every now and then. Almost against her will, her eyes began to close in pleasure as she tilted her head back, letting Fang tell Vanille about their exploits at the base from earlier in the morning. She forced her eyes back open when she realized the most recent question was being directed toward her.

"Sorry, Vanille, I didn't catch that."

"I said, are you excited to get back to work soon, Light? Serah said you'd never taken a break this long before."

Lightning smiled, thinking of Serah emphatically relating as much to Vanille while preparing for her to come back for the wedding. It had indeed been the longest break she had ever taken since leaving school to join the corps, and it was rapidly drawing to a close. "That's true, and while this was nice, I really am going to be glad to get back to get back to my job. Powers above only know the mess Rygdea will have left for me while I've been gone."

That evoked the respective giggle and snort of laughter she had expected from such a comment. Another thought suddenly crossed her mind.

"So, what are you two going to be doing?" asked Lightning, sitting up so that she could better face the two Pulsians. "I mean, once Serah and Snow get back, Snow will be moving in to the house, and I just imagined that you'd probably want to do something more besides sit around in Bodhum."

Fang made a quiet noise of agreement. "Yeah, while this has been a nice vacation of sorts for us, too, I'd rather not sit on the two lovebirds forever. Both NORA and the GC have been good with giving us some options, but I thought me and Vanille would head back to Gran Pulse, ASAP."

Vanille made a sudden noise, prompting both Lightning as well as Fang to look at her. "R-really? I mean, I thought we could travel a bit first, Fang. Remember, we'd talked about it a while ago…I thought it would be fun to go visit Sazh, or stay with Hope and his father like they had offered…"

This time the snort that escaped Fang's mouth was one of derision. She tossed her head, as if shaking off the idea. "C'mon Vanille, I mean, it was nice of them to offer, but why stay on this Viper's Nest—pardon me, Light—any longer than necessary. You don't need to go stay and visit them for a while just because they offered it. Ah, I can't wait till we get back to Mother Pulse."

Fang was just pulling her hand back to serve as makeshift pillow for her head when Vanille spoke again.

"Actually, I've been talking with Hope's father since the wedding, and he has enough connections with the university in Palumpolum…that…well…I was thinking about going there instead. I would get a chance to take a few classes at the university, and see more of Cocoon, and Mr. Estheim said that I could stay with him and Hope while I decide if that's what I want to do…and…there's enough room for you, too, Fang."

Fang shot up from where she lay, her eyebrows high and surprised, and her voice hard. "And just when were you planning on getting around to telling me this?"

Vanille looked utterly miserable now. Her eyes dropped to the ground instead of meeting Fang's face. "Oh, Fang…I knew you just wanted to go back to Gran Pulse, and I was afraid that you wouldn't like idea…"

"Wouldn't like the idea? What would have made you think that?" Even Lightning had to wince at the biting sarcasm in her voice. "Not that you're a former Pulse l'Cie or anything, looking to make a home in the bloody Viper's Nest!"

"Fang…"

Feeling supremely awkward even just being present at what was obviously a more private conversation, Light began to slowly extricate herself. "I'm just going to head out and go take care of the grocery shopping. I'll see you guys back home later."

They barely even noticed her leave.

She took considerably longer than necessary while at the store, getting home only as the evening was beginning to set over Cocoon. When she walked up to the house, though, she saw Vanille sitting on the steps of the front porch. To say that she looked downtrodden would have been an understatement.

Lightning set down her bags, concern washing over her as she noticed Vanille's red-rimmed eyes, a tell tale sign that she had been crying recently.

"Vanille, are you alright?" she tempered, sitting down next to the younger woman.

Vanille's brow furrowed sadly as she looked down. "I…I know I should have talked with her before, Light, but I was scared to. Fang's so protective, and I know she just wants to go back to Gran Pulse, and with everything that's happened, I know she wouldn't want me to be on my own, and, and…"

Lightning sighed, wanting to rub her forehead. "I know, Vanille. Believe me, I know. So what have you two decided?"

"I don't know…Fang said she didn't want to talk about it anymore, and left." There was a pause. "Oh, Light…will you please go talk with her? I know she's angry right now, but I want to make sure she's alright."

Vanille had hands clasped plaintively, reminding Lightning all too much of Serah.

"It's okay, Vanille. I was going to talk with her anyway."

Almost to her own surprise, she found her words to be true.

"Thank you! I think she's still down by the dock near Lebreau's café."

Lightning nodded and pocketed her comm. device again before heading back down the path toward the beach. When she reached Lebreau's café, she found Lebreau wiping down the bar top with a rag, only a few regular customers at the café that early in the evening. She nodded to Lightning and then directed her out through the veranda at the dock.

Fang was sitting at the very end of the pier, her legs dangling off toward the water and the sunset. There was a half-emptied bottle of some sort of alcoholic beverage and a glass tumbler resting to the side of her.

Without a word, Lightning walked up beside her. Fang did nothing except to fill up the tumbler and offer it out toward Lightning. When she shook her head in polite denial, Fang shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

The drink was quickly emptied into Fang's mouth. When she went to go for another refill, Lightning decided an intervention was in order and grabbed the bottle away.

"I think you've had more than enough."

Fang shot her a sneer of annoyance. "Thanks, mom."

Light remained unfazed, choosing to shrug instead. Fang looked away back into the sunset, letting silence hang heavy over them. It was Fang who grew uncomfortable and broke it first.

"Well, are you going to start it already? Lecture me, task me, or are you going to try and go the sensitive route? Ask me to talk about my feelings and shit?"

Once again, Lightning shrugged. "That's not how I operate and you know it. If anything, I would spar with you. But in your current state, I'd be lucky if you could hold your own for more than a few seconds. And don't even try to argue with me Fang, since you know I'm right. Besides, I'm here because Vanille asked me to. Not because I'm looking for a sparring partner."

Fang growled something under her breath, too softly to be heard over the rhythmic washing of the waves. Lightning looked onto the deep orange glow of the sunset. Silence had been a longtime friend of hers, and where others might grow uncomfortable with it, she found herself at ease in its presence, content with simply leaning against the pier and letting her eyes run over the picturesque horizon line. She had slowly realized ever since her vacation had begun that she did not, as she had secretly feared, terribly miss Bodhum or her old life. There was certainly a sense of nostalgia that had revisited her upon returning to Bodhum, but it was not mired in regret as she had at one time worried it would be. She could fondly look back on her time spent growing up and working in Bodhum, and still feel content with where she stood in life thus far. It almost made her want to chuckle. Who would have ever thought a few years ago that a straight-laced soldier like her would end up working and living on Pulse, let alone enjoying it?

"Why couldn't she have talked with me earlier instead of springing this on me now?"

Fang's voice broke her meditative reverie. Fang was still staring out at the water, her face a scowl of displeasure.

"I mean, okay, I don't like it either way, but really?"

Lightning raised an eyebrow at Fang to serve as her response. A sigh of exasperation greeted her back.

"Don't give me that look, Light. You of all people should be siding with me."

She cleared her throat. "I understand your position better, Fang. That doesn't mean I automatically side with you. A year or two ago, I would have…but now…"

Her voice died off. Fang picked up with a sad whisper that barely made it over the waves. "…but now you know better."

There was no response she could say back to that without being redundant. In true form, though, Fang came up with a response of her own.

"GODDAMMIT!" She yelled, chucking the glass tumbler as far as she could out in the ocean.

Only massive self control kept Lightning from jumping at the sudden violent upheaval, though she still found one hand resting tightly on her gunblade hilt.

"Dammit, Fang," she growled. "Lebreau's going to be pissed about the glass…Fang?"

In contrast to the violence of only a moment earlier, the woman now looked about as depressed as Vanille had earlier. Noting the watery glaze to her normally vibrant viridian eyes, Lightning felt a flash of panic run across her. Don't cry…oh, Etro, please don't start crying. Anger she knew how to deal with, but crying? When Serah used to cry it was bad enough, but she hadn't the faintest clue what she would do if Fang started bawling in front of her. Thanfully, that didn't occur. Instead, Fang finally looked up at Light, her eyes still watery but searching. "Tell me true, Light. How was it having to let Serah go?"

Light decided that being blunt was the better option here. "It sucked."

The pent up breath that she had been holding whooshed out of Fang's lungs in a wheezing, self-depreciating laugh. "Ha. Yep. That pretty much sums it up."

Lightning looked down at Fang, a moment of pity overwhelming her as she realized how deflated the woman seemed. "But you know, Fang, it sucked even more when I knew I was hurting her by not letting go."

"Mmm." The nodding confirmed that Fang agreed with that assessment.

Coming to a conclusion of her own, Light shook her head before stooping down to grab Fang by her tattooed bicep and haul her upright.

"Wha..?" For one dangerous moment Fang teetered precariously, and then Lightning threw her arm around her waist, allowing the taller woman to lean her drunken weight against her.

"Come on, Fang. Let's get you home while you still can."

They made their slow way off the pier, with all of the agility and elegance of two participants in a three-legged race. As they walked home, Fang continued to talk.

"What am I gonna do, Light? If…when…Vanille goes…what…what am I…?"

The fumbling, though drunken, was painful for still Light to hear.

"You know…Fang…you can always stay at my place." The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could fully stop them. It wasn't that she wanted to take them back—she meant what she had said—she just felt very apprehensive about what the response would be. She of course forgot to factor in that Fang had been drinking.

"Nooo, no, no. I mean, I couldn't, Light. I don't want to invade your space anymore than what I already have. Then you'd probably have to punch me or something."

Lightning wanted to roll her eyes. "I'd do that anyway, you fool," she hissed. Then she coughed politely. "But I mean it. My apartment in Oerba is pretty simple, and I'm not around that much with the Frontier Corp, but you're more than welcome to stay until you figure out what you want."

"Sure, sure…you just try and punch me, Light. I can hold my own, even like this…"

Lightning let Fang ramble on and tried to avoid making any more comments, as they were obviously proving fruitless for any kind of further serious conversation. By the time they reached home, Lightning was more than glad to accept Vanille's help in transferring the profusely apologetic Fang off her tingling shoulder. As she watched the two Pulsians curl up against each other and whisper softly, she felt a smile tug at her face. She softly padded back toward her room, leaving them to make their amends in private.

Fang woke up on the couch, more than slightly disoriented as she could have sworn she had gone to sleep in a bed. When she wandered her way to finally make it into the kitchen (where both Lightning and Vanille had clearly been awake for some time), Vanille explained, while automatically handing her fresh juice for the hangover, that she had been exiled to the couch overnight for excessive drunken snoring. She planted herself at the table while Vanille served her a heaping plate of steaming eggs and sausage, and guiltily wondered through her headache how she had managed to be as difficult and insensitive toward a person as genuinely caring as Vanille

After a few minutes, she looked up over her glass of juice toward where Lightning sat, her legs primly crossed as she watched the news. By the Trickster himself, did her head hurt! Even so, she powered through the headache.

"Hey, Light."

Lightning made a noncommittal sound which Fang took as indicator to continue. "About Oerba, and what you said yesterday…"

Now Light's attention was taken. She turned fully around to look at Fang.

"…if the offer really does stand, I think I'll take you up on it."