**Thanks for all the great feedback, everyone! We have a long way to go to get to the end, but I'm having a great time writing the journey! And the only constant bummer is… BDS does not belong to me.**

Chapter 11

I was cold and tired. Getting to the address that Agent Smecker had given me was no easy task. The last thing I wanted to do risk anyone following me so I first went back to my apartment and packed an overnight bag. I took the metro to the outskirts of town and then a cab to a shopping center where I wandered around, making sure I was alone. I grabbed a bite of dinner at the cafe there, the only other diner an older man with a beard. He looked me over and went back to his pie. He kind of creeped me out so I ate quickly and headed back outside.

Night had fallen, making me nervous. The address I had been given led me to a somewhat seedy motel with a no vacancy sign lit. I took a chance on which door to try first, choosing the room at the far end of the parking lot. I knocked and waited, hearing sounds of motion from inside. The door was flung open and I came face to face with the barrels of two very large guns.

"Whoa! Don't shoot! It's me!" I yelled, throwing my hands up and dropping my bag on the ground.

Both guns were immediately put away and I was drug into a fierce hug. He made room for me to enter the cramped space. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I made out two beds and a table, overrun with takeout containers. It was Connor who had answered the door, Murphy sitting on the edge of the bed furthest from the door.

"Siobhan…"

I touched Connor's cheek. He looked like he had been in the fight of his life, but would be okay. Murphy, on the other hand, didn't even look up. It may have just been that he was in shock, but it scared the hell out of me. I made my way over to him and ran my hand through his hair. He was shaking. I let him take all the time he needed, but eventually he reached for me. He leaned his head against my stomach, his hands holding the back of my thighs. His breathe was uneven, and when I looked down, there were tears streaming down his face.

I didn't say anything. I just let him cry, even when tears turned to sobs. It was obvious that despite how much pain Connor was in, seeing his brother like this was hurting him even more. I opened my embrace of Murphy to make room for Connor, who knelt in front of us. He wrapped one arm around my waist. The other he used to hold Murphy, whispering words of comfort to him in Gaelic.

Eventually, Connor found my face. "How did ye find us?"

I shrugged. "It's no big deal. I just threatened a cop."

"Ye did?" he asked, a note of awe in his voice.

"Well, not exactly a cop. It was your friend, Smecker." His eyes went wide. "Oh don't worry. He had it coming. It was like he was expecting to see me."

Holding my boys, I felt like I was whole again. "We're a team. I shouldn't have freaked out like I did. I love you, Connor. I shouldn't have been afraid." I moved to cup Murphy's cheek. "Darling, please look at me."

He was beat up worse than I had feared. Both of them were battered and bruised. There had obviously been a lot of blood and a lot of death. Their clothes were in shreds and I made a mental note to kick Smecker's ass for not taking care of them better. Thank goodness I had thought to stop by my apartment before coming here.

I pulled away from Connor to take his place on the floor. I brushed Murphy's hair from his face and kissed him softly. When he didn't respond, I deepened the kiss, demanding that he come back to me. His response was slow, but it was there.

Something told me that this was a defining moment. "Murphy, I love you. Connor loves you. Don't leave us." I let him pull me into him, my lips against his ear. "Don't leave me, Murphy. Please."

His voice was so low, I almost missed it. "Tis all so… fucked up, Siobhan."

"I know, baby, but it's going to be okay." I patted his shoulder and stood, finding my solace in Connor. His lips were waiting for mine. "Forgive me?"

"Always, lass. Especially when ye kiss me like dat." I couldn't help but do it again.

I grabbed my bag and pulled out clean clothes for both of them. I made each of them take a shower, even soaking my own clothes to help then wash the places they were too stiff to reach. I gently touched marks that looked vaguely like the brand of an iron, but didn't ask questions. There would be time for that later. I got them dressed and changed into a pair of sweatpants myself.

Murphy was standing in front of the window by the time I was done in the bathroom. Connor was lying on the bed, snoring. It was such a comforting sound. I joined Murphy, snuggling up against him. He tense, but relaxed when he confirmed it was me.

"Rocco's dead." His voice was devoid of emotion.

"Doc told me."

He turned to face me, letting the drapes swing behind him. "Ye don't get it. 'Tis our fault. We brought him inta this."

I shook my head. "Don't do that to yourself. Rocco made his own choices, just like we all do. You can't take the blame on this one. He wouldn't want you to."

He dropped into one of the chairs at the table. I settled into his lap. We cuddled for a while without talking, just content to be together. I would need to make sure I made it up to Connor, but instinct told me he wouldn't mind.

"Our da is back."

"Oh?" On the rare occasions they talked about their childhood, they only mentioned being raised by their mother. They had very few memories of their dad.

"He's thinkin' fer us ta go underground, get out of sight."

"Okay."

"We need ta see dis through, lass," a voice came from the bed. I guess he wasn't as asleep as I thought he was. "We owe it ta Rocco."

Murphy nuzzled my hair. "Come wit us." I guess I was silent too long because I felt him withdrawing from me again. "Tis okay. Ye can forget I said that."

I laughed out loud, startling him. "Murph, I'm not debating whether or not I'm going. I'm debating what I need to pack."

His reaction was priceless. These tears were pure joy.

Connor called to us, wanting to share in the moment. I was guided over to the bed, where I got in next to Connor without being prompted. Murphy climbed in next, spooning me. His grip was almost painful, but he needed to be as close to me as he could get. Or rather, us. I noticed he was holding Connor's arm, the brotherly connection something that could never be severed.

Murphy's hand slid under my shirt, find soft skin. His lips were on my neck, trailing over my shoulders. Connor mirrored each kiss, each lick, each nibble. Heaven couldn't be any better than having the complete attention of my amazing Irishmen.

We kept the moon company, losing bits of clothing and inhibition as the clock ticked towards dawn. Eventually, I fell asleep in a cocoon of warm bodies.

I don't know how long I was out, but the sun was high when I left dreamland behind. I was alone in the bed, somewhat chilly. I wrapped the blanket under my arms and knotted it to keep it in place. I checked the bathroom but it was empty. I splashed some water on my face and brushed my teeth quickly. I was hoping that either of the boys would be back by the time I was done, but I was disappointed.

Something didn't feel right. I checked around the room, but their things were gone. My overnight bag was gone, too. My wallet was on the table next to an envelope. Unfamiliar writing was scrawled across the front of the paper.

'Hard choices are for the best.'

Inside the envelope was a stack of cash. I was so confused. I thought we were in this together. I thought I was going with them. It was painfully apparent that someone disagreed with that plan.

A knock sounded at the door and I peeked around the curtain to see a cop car outside. I wasn't really surprised to see Detective Greenly waiting for me. It just confirmed that Connor and Murphy were gone.

"Ms. Gray, I'm here to take you home," Detective Greenly called.

I got dressed, feeling humiliated, ashamed, and more than a little pissed. The detective tried to make small talk on the drive back into the city, but I ignored him. At my apartment, I got out and tossed him the envelope that I had stashed in my back pocket.

"Here," I said. "Give this to Agent Smecker. Tell him to add it to the evidence."

He glanced inside of it and bit back a rude comment. "For what it's worth… I'm really sorry."

I gave him a small, sad half-smile. "Yeah, well. Me too."

Everything in the apartment was the same as I had left it not twenty-four hours prior. I was the one who had changed. I had been willing to give up everything in my life to go on the run with two killers. What kind of crazy romance novel was this out of? I must have imagined it all. This was just some crazy nightmare that I would wake up from with some nasty hangover. I figured that I should just enjoy the craziness and went into the kitchen to pour myself a drink.

Any hope I had of pretending the past few months hadn't happened were dashed when I saw the three dirty coffee mugs sitting in the sink. They were gone.

3