AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me! (Wait, what?)

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! (Not just horrified, but HORRORFIED.) B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. (He's the headmaster. He owns the freaking school.)

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. (Why? Draco's happier in heaven, with ME :D) They got all over my clothes (Your wrists got all over your clothes?) so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. (I do that all the time. Y'know, jump places angrily while listening to Linkin Park…) I grabbed a steak (Yum) and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. (You were depressed, so you decided to make us depressed by giving us a description of your "goffik" clothing? It worked, at least for me.) I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! (A tape of you getting dressed? OOH, SEXAYYYY!) And Loopin was masticating to it! (He was chewing to it?) They were sitting on their broomsticks. (Fun stuff.)

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! (You have clothes on. Remember?) ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" (Spell the goddamn spell right. Heehee, I said spell twice ) he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. (I point my womb all the time and yell ABRA KEDAVRA!) I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke.Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…(everything went black.)

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk. (How non-OOC.)

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" (NOO, I AM THE COMC TEACHER!)

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" (Like everyone else in this story.)

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors." (?)

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. (Triumelephantly. Adv. Tryyy-um-el-uh-funt-ley. When elephants are triumphant.) "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!" (Why do you want with the tape? You can probably get better porn on the internet.)

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. (Again, ?)

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. (Clook. N. A cock cloak. A cloak. A cock. Something like that.)

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. (From whom? Loopin? Snap? Dumblydore? Hargirid? Vampyre?) I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. (I bite people.)

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. (I wave my wand up in the air sometimes, saying ayyyyo, I'm a peeeeedo) Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. (Wait, what? 50 Cent is goffic?)

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!" (HOLY SHIT I SO DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!)

Hey, so sorry for the late update. I sort of forgot about this for a long time. Sorry

Muggle