A/N: I would like to thank paddiew for inspiring this list.

Disclaimer: If I was JK Rowling do you really think that I would be writing fan fiction? Didn't think so.

A/N: Anything in italics is not part of the list.

Things I Must Research Relating to Puberty:

Severus quirked an eyebrow at this. 'Of course she researched it! I can't believe I'm going to read this!' But curiosity got the better of his discomfort and he read on anyways.

Since I'm turning thirteen this year, Mum sat me down and told me a couple of things about puberty. I only just thought about it now because when I went to the bathroom I was bleeding!

1. How long does the bleeding last?

'Jean didn't tell her that?'

== I know that it comes once a month, but mum never said anything about when the bleeding stops! What if it doesn't stop! Will I bleed out? Will I die?

'Dear gods. I do hope she went to Poppy Pomphrey.'

2. Sanitary napkins and tampons.

Severus swallowed and shifted his position slightly before continuing on.

== They sound icky. How will I get them at school? How many should I take for a term? What do regular witches use? I'll just die if I have to ask Madam Pomphrey.

3. What and how do I tell the boys?

'Don't! It's not any of their business.'

== It's not like I can go up to them and say, "Hey guys! I've started my...!" Great Scott! I don't even know what to call 'it!'

Severus closed his eyes and braced himself before reading on.

Sub List:
What to call this!

A. My-little-monthly-pain-in-the-derriere-friend.

Severus blinked. 'I certainly didn't expect that one.'

== No, that's too long.

Severus snorted. 'Of course that's the only thing she sees wrong with that.'

B. My monthly friend.

'Because that doesn't sound wrong at all.'

== I can't very well refer to this as a friend.

C. Period.

'Oh, boy.'

== Not sensitive enough.

'But that's what it is!'

D. Monthlies.

'That works.'

== No. That would just confuse the boys.

'Why would she care what the boys think?'

== Ron might think I'm a werewolf if I say that.

'Well, if you put it that way. Weasley would think that wouldn't he?'

E. Girl problem.

== That sounds good.

Severus snorted. 'Really Hermione? That's ridiculous.'

== It s vague enough that the boys won't know the specifics, but they won't want to find out what's wrong.

Severus looked thoughtful. That did make sense, after a fashion.

Main List

4. Why are only my nipples growing? Won't I ever have real breasts?

Severus chuckled. He was grateful that Hermione didn't have to end up worrying about that. This was an aspect of his wife that he appreciated greatly... and often. He might have fallen in love with Hermione for her mind, but he was still a man.

5. I don't know about this getting pregnant stuff. It sounds very unlikely. Mum didn't say much, but I should have asked her if I will have a baby if a boy kisses me or if I shouldn't sit in a chair a boy has just gotten up from...or swimming! I wish I had an older sister!

Severus shook his head with a small smile. He knew that Hermione didn't really have to wonder about this anymore. She had first had experience after all.

6. How will I know if I'm having "emotional mood swings" that Mum talked about or am rightly upset about something?

'You'll figure it out by the way people react to what you're doing.'

== Sometimes a person just gets mad, or sad, or worried and anxious and you never know if it is reasonable or not. I mean, Ron's bound to do something stupid and I can't just ignore it! What about my professors! Will they be able to understand! Will they notice! Gods that would be so embarrassing! I mean... What if Professor Snape notices! He already doesn't like me. This will just make it worse, won't it? Gods this is all so confusing! OH NO!... I think I'm in it!

Severus rolled his eyes. 'No dear, that's just a panic attack. And why would I care?'

7. Why do boys smell so bad lately? Does it go away?

'Because they're teenage boys who don't give a damn about cleanliness.'

== It must go away since Professor Snape doesn't smell bad at all.

Severus blinked. 'She noticed how I smelled in her second year? Wow.' Expecting more, he looked back at the paper, but saw that he had reached the end of the list.