OK so here's the deal. I know people are reading the story, and that's great. I'm glad. But no one's reviewing. I got less than 5 reviews for Chapter 10. I like writing, I do, and I will continue to write, but you guys are part of the inspiration. I want to hear your thoughts. And no one's posting them. So if you aren't going to post, neither am I. So please, take 30 seconds ad tap out your thoughts. That's all I ask. If I don't see decent feedback on this chapter, I'm not going to post here anymore. I'll continue to write, but why waste my time putting it up if no one's interested?

Beautiful Mess

Chapter 11: Live for Today

Meredith sat up in bed as she heard the door open. George was supposed to be meeting with her to go over the future of her treatment. But the man at the door definitely was NOT George.

Claire held her breath expectantly. This would be the first time she'd ever seen her parents interact with each other.

"Meredith." Derek said softly in greeting as he set her chart down on th rolling cart, flipping through.

"Derek, what's going on? Why are you here? You were supposed to leave. Where's George?" Meredith questioned, her eyes searching the room, looking for her long time friend.

"Grandma!" Ava shrieked, barreling towards the bed before Claire could get hold of her.

Temporarily distracted by her granddaughter, she allowed the young child to scale the bed and snuggle in next to her. Derek and Claire took a moment to observe the interaction between grandmother and grandchild.

I can't believe I've missed all this. 30 years worth of growing up. 30 years of growing old. 30 years wasn't a lifetime by a long shot, but it sure felt like it to Derek. His ever bright blue eye took in the scene before him. He allowed his eyes to rest on the woman who'd haunted him for almost half his lifetime. She'd aged well. Her hair was shorter, her skin had a few wrinkles. But her eyes were still vivacious as ever, her smile still the same.

Claire resisted the urge to call her daughter off. Ava made Meredith happy, and her mother hadn't been a happy woman. She let her eyes drift to the man she hadn't been able to call 'dad' yet. He was studying her mother intently, as if he was trying to commit her to memory. It was surreal, being in the same room as both her parents.

"I took over your case." He informed Meredith, breaking the silence.

Meredith looked up at him, baffled at the new revelation. "What? Why? You're a neurologist Derek." She pointed out.

"Yes I am. And you have significant injuries to both your head and your spine, making this the perfect case for me to oversee." He responded, holding her gaze.

Claire was speechless. Not many people, not many men actually, would've dared hold her mother's gaze.

"So you aren't leaving." Meredith shot back flatly. He rolled his eyes at her lack of enthusiasm. He knew that it bothered her that he was there. And he was glad. If it bothered her, it meant he still affected her. If he still affected her, he still had a chance.

"No. In fact, I'll be here through your entire recovery." He said, capping the pen and turning to face his daughter. Feels strange to call her that.

"We're looking at, at minimum, 4-6 months before she makes a complete recovery." Derek assessed after a moment.

The Grey women were silent, even Ava sensed the intensity of the moment. "OK, well I guess I'll tell George we're moving." Claire said after she exhaled. With that, she turned and left the room, leaving her child with her grandparents.

"That's my grandpa." Ava pointed out matter of factly to her grandmother as she gestured to Derek. Derek had the decency to blush.

"Did you tell her that?" Meredith asked as Ava struggled to change positions.

"She asked. And I told her. Claire doesn't have a problem with it. She wants me to know Ava." Derek told her, unable to keep the smug tone out of his voice.

As much as Meredith wanted to call him on his comment, she couldn't. She knew she'd done wrong by him. She knew she should have told him. But despite her knowledge of her wrongdoings, she wasn't ready to let it go, not yet.

"Looks like you and Claire have been spending some time together." She remarked, hanging the subject, hoping he'd take the bait.

He did. "She's a remarkable woman. I can't believe I've missed so much. I would've given anything to watch her grow up." Derek said, a far away looking overtaking his eyes.

Meredith reflected on his words. She couldn't fault him for wanting to know his daughter. "I'm sorry." She whispered softly. It wasn't much but it was all she could muster at this point.

Her words warmed his heart a little. He moved a step closer. "We all make mistakes Mere. But those mistakes are in the past now. All that matters is the here and now. That's what we're living for." He murmured, his voice soft and soothing.

She studied the man in front of her, the man that had haunted her for 30 years. He was older now, there were lines in his face. But his eyes, they were still blue. His hair was still dark brown. Ok, so it's mostly brown with some gray. She admitted to herself. But it was still him, he was still Derek. And he still cared. He had to, he was there, that meant something, right?

"You're really my doctor?" She asked after a long moment. His eyes came up from her chart to meet hers. He nodded the confirmation.

"So this means I'll be seeing a lot of you." She continued, her words unsteady and broken. It hurt him to see her like this. He hadn't seen her in 30 years and this wasn't how he pictured their reunion going.

She always had been strong, she'd always been everyone else's rock. But 30 years of raising a child on her own without the only thing she'd ever wanted, it was taking its toll.

Her eyes were older now and the naivete, innocence and excitement that had once filled her eyes had been replaced with experience, wisdom and just plain old pain. He knew how it got there and who was responsible for putting it there.

She seemed to read his mind. "I'm really OK Derek." She told him, hoping he got the message.

His gaze swept over her pale, expressionless face, her older eyes, and her thin lipped mouth. He sighed.

"Don't lie to me Meredith. You're no more OK than I am. But I want to be OK. I want us to at least get along. We have a family together now." He told her, moving in and lowering his voice, as Ava had fallen asleep.

"WE have a family? Seriously? You've been around for 3 days and you're 'part' of this family now?" She exclaimed in a stage whisper.

"I didn't ask to be shut out Meredith. You did that all on your own. You chose to exclude me from this family." He hissed, moving in closer.

"You asked to be shut out when you left me to be with her." Meredith shot back, her eyes flashing.

Derek watched the angry storm clouds forming in her eyes. He had to words at that moment. All he had were his instincts and impulses, and his heart. So he followed his instincts, his impulses, his heart. Without hesitating for another seconds, he leaned in, centimeters from her face, and whispered. "I may have left, but my heart never did." And with that, pressed his lips to hers.

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