Disclaimer: I don't own Kyou Kara Maou!

A/N: Holy cow, this turned out a lot longer than expected. xD It was requested by Della (TheMoonAndStarsLove). :) It's partly based on an episode that I haven't seen in quite some time, so you can blame any discrepancies on my memory (although some of them are on purpose to provide entertainment xD).

I might not update again for a while, because I have midterms to finish up and then I'm leaving to visit Japan on the 10th. But I promise I will read all of your reviews! I appreciate each one of them. :)

Sunscreen and Speedos

"Yuuri?! What is the meaning of this?!" Wolfram demanded sharply, shoving the very incriminating piece of evidence in his unfaithful fiancé's face.

Just as Wolfram expected, Yuuri yelped in horror at being caught red-handed. "I-it's not what you think!" he insisted, waving his hands frantically in denial. "I was just life-guarding, and—"

"Life-guarding?" Wolfram repeated. What a strange term. "Is that what they call it in your world?" he growled.

"No! That doesn't even make sense!" Yuuri protested. "I was watching people at the beach to make sure no one drowned!"

"Then how," Wolfram asked through clenched teeth, "did you end up with THIS?"

"A-a girl lost her swim top, and Murata made me go fetch it—"

"You were talking to a naked girl!"

"No!"

To Yuuri's surprise, Wolfram came at him and sent them both flying back into the water Yuuri had just come from. He coughed and sputtered, trying to breathe and fight off his jealous fiancé at the same time (which wasn't easy). But while Wolfram still had a hold on him, the water began churning and sucking all around them.

"Y-Yuuri?!" Wolfram cried out in confusion, clinging to him tightly.

They both emerged back at the beach on Earth, gasping for air, although neither of them were too aware of their surroundings yet. Wolfram was still on top of Yuuri and clinging to his neck, making it exceedingly hard to sit up, but with a struggle he somehow managed to. Mingled cries of surprise and concern fell on his water-clogged ears.

"Was someone drowning in there?" Murata chuckled.

"Um," Yuuri glanced all around at the three who'd been waiting on him, his mind still in tumult. "Yeah. You okay there, buddy?" He laughed awkwardly and patted Wolfram on the back.

Wolfram pulled away to glare at him. "What?"

"Are you okay?" Yuuri chuckled nervously, willing him to play along.

"Yuuri, I can't understand a word you're saying!" he fumed in frustration.

"O-OH. You can't?" He blinked, wide-eyed. That's right, Wolfram couldn't understand Japanese. Well, shit.

"Ooh, is he speaking another language?" one of the girls asked.

"Where's he from?" the other one squealed.

"Germany," Yuuri blurted out.

They giggled, and Wolfram waved the bikini top wildly to get Yuuri's attention. "Quit flirting, wimp! I haven't forgotten about this!"

"I'm not flirting! And I told you they weren't naked," Yuuri hissed. He held out his hand. "We need to give that back now."

"Oh, you got it!" the girl it belonged to exclaimed cheerfully. "Thank you so much!"

She smiled brightly at Wolfram, who eyed her warily, still gripping her bikini tightly. Even if she was somewhat clothed, he did not appreciate the way she was trying to tempt Yuuri with the wet T-shirt she had stuck to her breasts.

"Sorry, he's just a little confused," Yuuri tried to explain Wolfram's silence. He gritted his teeth and grabbed the top as well, demanding again, "Give it back. That's an order."

With a deep scowl, Wolfram snatched it away from Yuuri, stood up, and pushed it into the girl's hands himself to prevent her from touching his fiancé. "Happy?" he snapped, crossing his arms and sticking his nose up in the air defiantly.

"Wolfram! Don't be rude!" Yuuri exclaimed, his cheeks turning red in embarrassment. He stood up, too, clasping the girl's hands together in apology. "I'm so sorry," he said earnestly.

Whack! His hands were painfully slapped away.

"How dare you touch that filthy tramp right in front of me!" Wolfram yelled, mistaking the look on Yuuri's face and the physical contact for more flirting.

A shocked silence fell on everyone, and Yuuri's first and only thought was, Thank Godthey did not understand that.

Murata came over and placed a hand on Yuuri's shoulder. "Shibuya, why don't you go help your friend get changed into some normal beach wear. I think I packed an extra swimsuit in my suitcase." He lowered his voice and whispered into Yuuri's ear, "Don't worry, I'll take care of these two."

Wolfram bristled and yanked Yuuri away. He opened his mouth to yell again, when Murata interrupted him in perfect "German."

"What, are you two lovers or something?" he winked.

Wolfram's mouth dropped open slightly, but he recovered and replied haughtily, "Yes, he's my fiancé!"

Murata grinned and turned back to the girls. "Don't worry, seems like what we've got here is a jealous fiancé."

Both of them gasped. "What? They're lovers? Socute!"

"Murata! Why would you repeat that?!" Yuuri burst out, his face completely red.

In response, the other boy pushed him into Wolfram, who possessively pulled him closer. "Go get him dressed. Or undressed, whichever you prefer," Murata teased, making the girls squeal even louder.

Yuuri flushed darker. "Wolfram, let's go!" he cried in embarrassment.

"Where are we going?" he asked amiably, much happier now that someone understood Yuuri belonged to him.

As Yuuri started to lead Wolfram over to the beach house, the sounds of the two girls fawning over his best friend were getting under his skin.

"I had no idea you spoke German!"

"Yes, and I'm completely single."

"Go ahead and take your clothes off," Yuuri instructed nonchalantly, digging through Murata's suitcase. "I'm sure there's a bathing suit in here somewhere."

"Yuuri," Wolfram whined. "They're so heavy when they're wet. Won't you help me?"

His cheeks turned pink. "W-what are you talking about? You're a soldier, you can do it yourself."

Wolfram let out a loud sigh. "Would you at least watch, then?"

"W-what! Why would I want to watch you strip?!" He began to tear through Murata's clothing furiously, refusing to look up. That's when he realized—there were no trunks to be found anywhere.

"That doesn't make sense…he told me he had another swimsuit," Yuuri muttered, slowly putting everything back into the bag, one article at a time. His fingers landed on Spandex, and he jumped up wildly. "N-NO WAY!There has to be another one!"

Although, really, he didn't know why he'd expected Murata to have trunks to begin with.

"Yuuri?" Wolfram asked curiously.

Forgetting that he was refusing to look, Yuuri glanced at the blonde and immediately felt his knees go weak. He threw Murata's suit at Wolfram and turned away, blushing. "P-put that on!" At least it was something.

"I don't know why you won't look at me," Wolfram huffed and pulled it up over his legs. "There's no reason to be so shy when I'm your betrothed, Yuuri."

Yuuri turned around cautiously and gulped. Geez, Wolf might as well be wearing nothing, the way that Speedo clung to him, cupping everything perfectly. "L-let's go back outside," he suggested, tearing his eyes away.

Murata found them quickly. Apparently the girls had already gone home. "You put sunscreen on him, right?"

"Um, no…"

"Yuuri, do you want perfect skin like that to burn?" his friend scolded. "Look at it, it's like porcelain."

Yeah, thanks for drawing my attention to it again, Murata.

"Don't worry, I've got some right here," he offered, handing a tube to Yuuri that seemed to have come from nowhere.

Yuuri passed it right along to Wolfram. "Here, Wolf, it'll protect your bare skin from the heat."

Wolfram frowned. "What is it?"

"It's just lotion. You rub it all over your body," Yuuri explained.

"Just do it yourself, Shibuya," Murata prodded him.

Yuuri flushed. "N-no way! He's more than capable of doing it on his own."

"He's never going to do his back alone," Murata pointed out. "And it looks like he doesn't even know what it is. So you might as well just help him with all of it on his first try."

"First try? You make it sound so complicated," Yuuri scoffed. He tried handing the tube to Wolfram again. "Here, Wolf. You can do it. It's really easy, trust me."

Wolfram crossed his arms and shook his head. "I want you to do it," he smirked mischievously.

Before Yuuri had a chance to smack the one who'd given him the idea, Murata spoke again. "You'll get a lot of stares over here though. You might want to take him somewhere more secluded."

Yuuri flushed again, knowing full well the place that Murata was referring to. There was a rocky spot farther down the shore where people went only if they wanted to have sex on the beach. "I'm not going there," Yuuri hissed. He was sick of his best friend's bright ideas.

"Why not? No one will bother you," Murata smiled.

That was all Wolfram needed to hear. "Yuuri, let's go there now before any more girls try to seduce you."

"Nobody is going to seduce me, Wolfram," Yuuri replied earnestly. "I swear."

"Well, I don't know about that," Murata muttered, clearing his throat as he stared pointedly at Wolfram.

"Okay, that's the last straw!" Yuuri yelled at him. He grabbed Wolfram's arm and pulled him away. "Come on, Wolf. We're going there just to get away from him."

Completely unperturbed, Murata smiled and called after them, "Have fun!"

Despite all of the rocks and everything, the beach really was prettier away from the hustle and bustle of people. Without tons of scantily clad women around to incite Wolfram's rage, he was able to focus on the scenery. He gazed at the waves hitting the shore, and the way Yuuri's dark hair rustled in the ocean breeze, and he let out a contented sigh. "This is beautiful," he murmured. "Thank you, Yuuri."

Yuuri tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Thank you? For what?"

Wolfram rolled his eyes. "For bringing me, of course."

Yuuri shook his head in amusement. "It's not like I had a choice, with the way you attacked me."

Wolfram bristled. "I mean for bringing me down here," he clarified, motioning toward the water. "But I had every right to attack you earlier. You were holding some woman's bra!"

"It was a bikini top!"

"As if that makes it any less indecent!"

Yuuri opened his mouth to argue again, then stopped and laughed quietly at the look on Wolfram's face.

"What are you laughing at?" the blonde asked in annoyance.

"I don't know," Yuuri chuckled. "You're just a lot less...threatening without your uniform on."

Wolfram flushed bright red, suddenly feeling extremely naked. "Excuse me?" he demanded.

"Never mind, just sit down and let me put your sunscreen on," Yuuri smiled.

Still blushing, Wolfram took a seat on a big rock as Yuuri unscrewed the cap on the tube. He squirted some white lotion into his hand and then hesitantly pressed it against Wolfram's bare chest.

Wolfram jumped a little in surprise. "It's cold."

"S-sorry." Yuuri massaged it into his skin slowly, trying to make sure he didn't miss anything. He felt Wolfram's tensed body relax under his continued touch.

"Yuuri...," Wolfram murmured.

It wasn't like he was moaning it, but Yuuri still shivered at the sound of his voice. Very hesitantly, he slipped his fingers just under the waistband of Wolfram's Speedo, because he knew from experience that it was possible to burn along your bathing suit line unless you applied the sunscreen very thoroughly.

But maybe he should've explained that, he realized with a deep blush as Wolfram gasped at his touch. "Y-Yuuri..."

Okay, that time it definitely sounded like a moan.

Yuuri refused to look up into Wolfram's eyes, fearing the lust he would find there. He needed to finish applying sunscreen before Wolfram made any kind of move on him, or else his porcelain skin would burn. He squirted more into his hands and moved onto Wolfram's legs, gulping as he realized again just how little the Speedo covered. He started down at Wolfram's ankle, working his way up until he was massaging the sunscreen into Wolfram's thigh and slipping his fingers under the suit once more.

"Yuuri!" Wolfram cried out, his tone pleading.

Instead of giving in, Yuuri switched over to his other leg. It was getting increasingly hard to ignore the sounds of Wolfram's labored breathing and whimpering. But it wasn't like he was trying to be a tease! If Wolfram had just done this himself...

"Y-Yuuri...please..."

Yuuri was finishing up with his legs when he noticed the uncomfortable bulge in Wolfram's Speedo. He jumped up quickly, slathering Wolfram's arms with the stuff and trying to avoid his gaze.

But that turned out to be impossible.

He could practically hear the cries of Yuuri, Yuuri again as their eyes met.

"I-I'm not done yet," he mumbled. "I still have to do your back."

"Hurry?" Wolfram whimpered, sending shivers through him.

"T-turn around."

His fiancé obeyed willingly, and Yuuri blanched as he realized the Speedo didn't even cover Wolfram's entire ass. Seriously, why the hell did Murata think he could wear this kind of stuff? Nobody wanted to see that. Not unless you were this gorgeous...

He absentmindedly ran a finger across Wolfram's soft skin as the thought crossed his mind, making the other boy squirm under his touch. Shit, now he really was being a tease.

Yuuri abandoned his painstakingly careful ways and rushed to finish Wolfram's back. He flipped him over again and shoved Wolfram against the rock, bringing his lips crashing down on the blonde's with a desire he had been completely unaware of until about five seconds ago. Wolfram moaned gratefully into his mouth, wrapping his arms Yuuri and pulling him closer.

Yuuri broke away for a second, panting. "I—I don't know if this is such a good idea, Wolf...I mean, the sand, it gets everywhere..."

"I don't care," he growled, pushing his lips against Yuuri's neck in short, heated kisses.

Yuuri melted against him, cursing Murata as the two went down in the sand. If Yuuri didn't know better, he'd say all of this—the Speedo, the sunscreen, and their location—had been part of his grand master plan. But that was just ridiculous.

Then again, how had he been able to understand a word Wolfram said?

"Nobody's going to seduce you, huh Shibuya?" Murata's voice cut intrusively into his thoughts. "Looks like my predictions were right after all." He stood over the two lovers, smirking.

Yuuri practically jumped out of his skin, letting out a strangled cry of "Murata!" He tried to get up, but Wolfram angrily yanked him back down. He'd waited too long for this, and nobody was going to take this moment away from him.

Unfortunately, the sudden pull caused Yuuri to stagger sideways and fall into the ocean, bringing Wolfram rolling along with him. There was a sinking feeling in Yuuri's stomach as the water swirled up around them again. He held onto Wolfram tightly to make sure he didn't float away or something as they made their return to Shin Makoku.

Wolfram coughed violently underneath him when they surfaced, clearly not used to the impromptu travel between worlds yet. Yuuri got to his hands and knees to make it easier for him to breathe. "Wolfram, are you okay?" he asked in concern.

Someone let out a shriek, and Yuuri glanced around in confusion, oblivious to his surroundings.

"Someone's having sex in Shinou's fountain!" a shrine maiden screamed.

Yuuri's eyes shot open. "W-what?! No! It's not like that!"

A bunch of people came running, and suddenly Yuuri and Wolfram were surrounded.

"Ooh, Your Majesty, how bold!" Lady Celi squealed. "Even I've never tried it in Shinou's fountain!"

All of the blood drained from his face. "Th-that's not—"

"Your Majesty!" Günter cried out. "What scandalous behavior! How could you?"

Conrart just shook his head, a slight smile on his face. "Yuuri, I know teenagers often struggle with their hormones, but you've given the shrine maidens quite a fright. You and Wolfram should probably stick to fooling around in the privacy of your own bedroom, don't you think?"

Yuuri jumped to his feet, his face completely red, and yelled adamantly, "We weren't having sex!"

"No? Then where are Wolfie's clothes?" Lady Celi giggled.

Günter jumped back as if he'd seen a ghost at the sight of Wolfram in a Speedo. He placed one hand to his forehead dramatically and then fainted.

The next time Yuuri returned to Earth, Murata was dead.

A/N: Oh, Murata. Such a bastard. But I really liked writing him in this fic. xD