Chapter Eleven

The Madman (part one) or The Walk

Erin leaned against the white railing that lined the side of the porch. The porch light glowed orange over her body, casting a shadow over the bushes, which rustled gently as a wind came through them. Her eyes were lowered at Andy's shoes. "He's almost never like that," she said, nearly mumbling. "You see him at work, he's usually timid and- but sometimes-"

Andy nodded. "I can't say I don't understand. I used to have way worse anger problems than I do now, and I could go a little crazy."

Erin looked up at him remorsefully. "Did we ruin your night?"

"Totally not," Andy said, he smiled. "I'm just-" He stopped suddenly, laughed nervously, and rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand.

"What?" Erin asked.

"No, nothing, I was-"

"No you can tell me," she said, a smile playing cautiously at the ends of her lips.

"I'm just glad to spend time with you," Andy said quickly. He took a deep breath after saying that. He looked at Erin and then said, "-but not in a weird way or-"

"Oh yeah, I completely understand," Erin said.

"Yep," Andy said. The two of them smiled nervously.

The door opened and they both jumped.

Jim poked his head out of the door. "Oh- sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Worry not, my friend," Andy said. "What can I do you for?"

"It's your turn," Jim said.

"Well, then I'll be coming back in, after you," Andy said. He turned back to Erin. Her eyes were lowered at the ground again, and her little lips were lowered. He looked to Jim again. "I'll be with you in one second."

"Got it," Jim said, before going in and closing the door.

Jim

"Do I think Andy and Erin would be good together? I don't know. They seemed happy before, and they get along great now so- yeah, I guess so. Plus, there's something about the salesman-receptionist relationship that I like. Couldn't tell you why, though."

"Andy," Erin said slowly, "I'm really sorry, but I'm just not feeling- up to playing Risk anymore."

"One-hundred-percent understood," Andy replied, "but I'm going to go try and finish it up fast, so no one else thinks anything is going on."

"Yeah, I guess it wouldn't hurt to finish what we started," Erin said, smiling just a bit.

"I bet we could go out fast, if we tried," Andy said. "You know, attack each other. Wear each other out."

"It might actually be fun," Erin said, fully smiling now.

"Then, after, we could go for a walk or something," Andy said.

"It's a date," Erin said, enthusiastically. The smile vanished from her face instantly. "Except, not really."

Andy turned to the door as a wide smile broke across his face. He managed to stifle the smile into a little grin as he walked through the doorway and into the game room, Erin just behind him.

"So, how are world politics?" Andy asked as he took a seat.

"I am the most powerful player," Dwight said, "Michael is number two, Jim number three. You, Erin, and Kevin are about to lose, and Creed is neutral."

"Good sum up, Dwight," Andy said. He rubbed his hands together for a second. "Okay, I'm going to put my troops in Eastern Australia and attack Erin in New Guinea."

Dwight looked up at the camera with a devious grin as Andy and Erin rolled.

Dwight

"I over-estimated Andy. How, you ask? Kevin has only one territory left, and Andy could have taken him out. Why would that have been good for Andy, you ask? If you take out a player, you get their cards. Kevin had two cards. Not a big deal, but something. I would go for Kevin myself on my upcoming turn, but I have an alliance with Creed, and Creed has Siam, the only entry into Australia."

Andy ended his attack only when Erin and he had only one troop each in the battling territories. "Now, in Asia," he continued, "I'm going to use Afghanistan to attack Ural. That's Erin again."

"This time you'll lose even harder," Erin gloated as they rolled.

Creed spoke up, "Kevin, may I see you in the hallway."

Kevin didn't answer, but rose to his feet and walked into the hall with Creed.

"Just so you know, our alliance is dissolved," Creed said.

Kevin nodded. "Okay, but you've still got to carry out your end of the deal."

"Of course," Creed said. "You'll get what you've earned on Monday."

Kevin smiled slyly. "Nice doing business with you." He extended his fist forward. Creed looked at it confusedly for a second, before pounding it with his fist. Kevin brought his hand back with wiggling fingers. The two of them walked back into the game room.

Andy beat Erin, took her territory, grabbed a card, and ended his turn.

"My turn," Creed said. He put three troops in Siam. "I'm attacking Kevin in Indonesia with Siam."

Dwight

"Dammit!"

Creed took out Kevin's four remaining troops without losing one of his own, and he moved five in.

"Your cards, please," Creed said, leaning back and reaching behind Jim. Kevin handed him his cards. Creed sat back in his chair and looked at the cards with a wise grin on his face. "Dwight, could I see you in the hallway, please?"

The two of them walked into the hall.

"What is it?" Dwight asked, sounding busy.

Creed stood with his back to the stairs. He spoke in a very quiet voice, "You've got to look out for Andy."

"Why?" Dwight asked.

"Don't you see?" Creed asked. "He's only got territories in Australia and Asia. His Australian forces are very weak. He's got stronger territories in Asia. He's not going to attack me, because all of my Asian countries are very strong. So where's he going to go?"

"Europe," Dwight said, a vacant look on his face. His eyes were directed downward, to the side.

"Exactly," Creed said. "He may not be able to get into Europe, but he just might. What if he goes from the Ukraine to the moon? He would get rid of both your continent bonuses."

"Then Jim could get me," Dwight said slowly. "Yes, I see it all now." He looked Creed in the eyes and patted him on the shoulder. "Thank you for the heads-up. I will destroy Andy's two territories in Asia."

"Don't mention it," Creed said. "When I'm allied with someone, it really means something to me."

"I respect that," Dwight said. He put a hand to his forehead in salute, which Creed returned.

Dwight

"It's almost sad how easily I can take advantage of people."

Dwight marched with dignity back into the game room. Creed stepped into the doorway. "Andy, may I have a word?" he asked.

"Absolutely," Andy said, getting to his feet and coming toward Creed.

Creed stepped back to give Andy room to get into the hallway. Creed's voice was even quieter than when he talked with Dwight. "I'm issuing you my one turn warning. Next turn our alliance is over, and I will attack you."

"Attack me now," Andy said, Creed raised a finger to his lips, and Andy spoke more quietly. "I don't want to win anymore."

"We made an alliance that could only be removed with a one turn warning, and I'm not straying from that alliance," Creed said gravely. "However, if you'd like to go out more easily, I recommend you finish the girl off on your upcoming turn. She's only got one more country- it's in Australia- and it only has one troop."

"Will do, cap'n," Andy said. Creed smiled.

Andy and Creed walked back into the room, shoulder to shoulder, before they went to their chairs. Creed took a card, thus ending his turn.

"Okay, my move," Jim said.

"Meeting. World Powers. Hallway. Now," Dwight said, rising to his feet and walking toward the hall. Michael also stood up and followed him. The two of them walked into the hall.

"That means you too, Jim," Dwight said, turning back into the game room.

"Why thank you, Dwight," Jim said as he got out of his chair.

"Can it," Dwight replied crankily.

Jim stepped into the hallway, where the three of them formed a triangle.

"Jim, what are you planning on doing?" Dwight asked.

"Probably attacking the Ukraine from one of my African territories, taking it, and then going to Bratton Land," Jim said.

"Argh!" Dwight grunted with barred teeth. He took a deep breath, paused a second, and continued. "Okay, could you not do that?"

"Why would I not do that?" Jim asked.

"Because, if you fail, I will destroy you on my next turn," Dwight said. "Go for Michael instead, and I will spare you for one turn."

"Hey!" Michael said sharply. "I thought we were part of the Anti-Jim Alliance."

"We agreed we wouldn't attack each other," Dwight said. "We never agreed not to convince Jim to attack each other."

"You know what, you're worse than Jim," Michael said, his face tightened in anger. "I want to form the Anti-Dwight Alliance."

"Michael," Jim said, "if I attack Dwight on this turn, will you promise not to attack me in South America on your upcoming turn."

"Ooh," Michael said. "Can't do that. I've got to attack somewhere, and-"

"No deal," Jim said. "How about this, I agree not to attack you, Dwight, on this turn, and you don't attack me on your upcoming turn. Also, you can only put a maximum of four troops on territories bordering my nations."

"Deal," Dwight said.

Jim

"I actually thought of that all by myself, without Pam. It's brilliant, actually, because the only reason I would want to attack Dwight this turn is because he gets more bonus troops than I do, and so he could put them on the bordering nations on his next turn and make it almost impossible for me to attack him on my next turn. By making him put less troops there, it gives me a chance to build up my forces faster than him. Now when I do attack him, I'll have a better amount of attacking troops compared to his defending troops than I would if I attacked this turn. No please, no applause is necessary."

"Does that mean you're going to attack me in North America?" Michael asked.

"No," Jim said, "As long as you promise not to attack me."

"Okay, fine," Michael said. He faced Dwight. "That means I'm going to have to attack you in Halpert Land."

"Not allowed," Dwight said. "We have a border alliance between Halpert Land and Western United States. It can only be broken by a one turn warning."

"Then I am issuing said warning," Michael said.

"You still can't attack me on your upcoming turn, you have to wait for your next turn," Dwight said.

Michael shrugged. "So, is that the end of the Ant-Jim Alliance?"

"No, just that specific border alliance," Dwight said curtly. "You are still bound by the Ant-Jim Alliance."

"Can I join that, by any chance?" Jim asked.

Dwight glared at Jim before saying, "This meeting is dismissed."

Jim put his eight troops on one of the African territories bordering the Ukraine. He attacked Michael's only Asian territory (India) with the Middle East and won, allowing him to take a card at the end of his turn.

Kevin, no longer playing, was making a full-time effort out of eating. Michael's turn was next. He put his eight troops in Western United States and ended his turn. Erin went, put three troops on New Guinea (an Australian territory), attacked Andy in Australia, failed to take over a territory, and ended her turn.

"I get fourteen troops this turn," Dwight said, before adding, "and that's not even using cards."

"Congratulations, Dwight," Jim said.

Dwight put four troops on the Ukraine, and the rest in Halpert Land.

"Halpert Land to Western United States," Dwight said coldly.

"Wait, you can't do that, there's a one turn warning," Michael pointed out.

"Wrong," Dwight said. "After one issues a one turn warning, the other playing can then attack them."

"Are you kidding me?" Michael asked.

"Just go with it," Andy said. "That's how I've always played."

"Dwight's right, Michael," Creed said.

"Everyone wants me to lose," Michael muttered.

"What was that?" Jim asked.

"Halpert Land to Western United States," Dwight said, now more forceful.

The two of them rolled over and over. Dwight's troops lowered more quickly than Michael's. Perspiration gathered on his forehead as he continued his attack.

Dwight

"Am I surprised that I'm having a tough time taking Western United States? No. It is the home of Molossia, a little-known micro-nation in Nevada. Greatest nation ever. Yes, it's real. Google it."

Dwight eventually won, but could only move two troops into the Western United States. Michael sank into his chair and massaged his closed eyes.

"Michael," Dwight said, "may I say that while you were a world power, you played admirably."

"Just shut up, Dwight," Michael said, turning to him with narrowed eyes. "I'm kicking you out of North America on my next turn, so I'll be a world power again."

"Never mind that," Dwight said. "Andy, I am attacking you in Asia with the Ukraine." Dwight took Andy's two Asian countries easily, and then fortified the left-over troops back to the Ukraine for defensive purposes.

"Time for the Nard Dog to step up to the plate again," Andy said. He put three troops in Eastern Australia. "Erin, I'm afraid it's the end of the line for you. Eastern Australia to New Guinea."

Erin had only one troop in New Guinea, and could therefore roll only one die. It came up 5. Andy rolled three dice. 1, 2, and 6.

"And that's it," Andy said happily. Erin took her piece off and Andy moved three pieces in. She handed him her two cards. Andy took them, and also a card from the deck, and ended his turn with a, "Good game, Erin."

"Oh good, my move," Creed said. He turned to the end of the table. "Hey, could someone pass me the lemon juice?"

Kevin took a break from eating the brownies to pass Creed the bottle. Creed unscrewed the yellow lid, put the bottle to his lips, and drank about a quarter of it without taking a breath. Jim winced at the sight. Creed slapped the bottle back down on the table and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"So, Andy only has territories in Australia, I see," Creed said. He put his three troops on Indonesia. Creed took Western Australia, Eastern Australia, and finally New Guinea, losing only one troop.

"It was a pleasure playing with you," Andy said as he pulled his final troop from the board. "Here are my five cards." He handed his cards to Creed, who smiled gratefully in return. Dwight witnessed this with his mouth hung open.

Dwight

"I did exactly what he wanted. He knew that if I attacked Andy in Asia, it would be easier for him to take him out and get his cards. This is really bad."

"Well, right now I have eight cards," Creed said, "which means I have to play three of them immediately, as you can never hold more than five at once."

"Very true," Andy said as he rose out of his chair. "You seem to know what you're doing, so I hereby pass on my supervision authority to you, while me and the little lady go for a walk."

"Where to?" Dwight asked as Erin got out of her chair.

"I wouldn't worry about that if I were you, Dwight," Andy said with an edge of annoyance. The two of them walked out together.

Creed laid down three cards. "So that means I get ten troops." He put them all on Kamchatka, which bordered Alaska, a North American territory. "Michael Scott, I issue you my one turn warning."

Dwight swung his head to face Michael, Erin no longer in between them. "You had an alliance with him too?"

"Yes," Michael said bitterly.

Dwight turned to Jim. "What about you?"

"I'm not going to confirm or deny that," Jim said.

"Come on," Dwight protested. "It's important!"

"Right now I know more than you," Jim said.

"I have five cards in my hand now," Creed said. "That means I actually have to play three more, or else I'll have six at the end of my turn when I draw another card. So-" He laid three more cards down. "This time I get fifteen troops." He put them all on Kamchatka again. "I'll end my turn." He took a card.

Andy and Erin both looked down at the concrete as they walked up the sidewalk. Their shadows bent back and forth as they passed under streetlight after streetlight. The heat and moisture hung heavy in the air.

"Times like this are really hard," Erin explained, "when he has one of his fits. And I always tell myself I'm going to break up with him, but then the next day he says he's sorry, and buys me flowers or something sweet and I just can't."

Andy nodded. "Okay. Well, what you need to ask yourself is, do you feel good about your relationship on any given average day. Does your relationship make you happy?"

"That's the thing," Erin said. There was a long pause. She turned toward a big white house as they passed it. "Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you from windows when you walk down the street?"

Andy laughed. "I guess, sometimes. Especially if I've seen a scary movie recently."

"It's a bit eerie," Erin said. She shook her head gently. "I guess I'm happy with him, but in a dull sort've way. Not like-"

There was another pause. Andy held his breath.

"Can I just say it?" she asked quietly as she stopped walking.

Andy stopped walking also. He turned to her.

"You can say anything," he said tenderly.

"Not like when I was with you."

The words filled the night air like music.

"Oh, well, thanks," Andy said. That last word sounded watery. Tears came into his eyes. He shut them and turned away.

"I'm sorry," Erin said, mortified, "I didn't mean to-"

"No," Andy said, his voice shaky and weak. "I'm just so happy to hear you say that." He turned to her with a big smile on his face.

Erin smiled back. "Well, it's true."

"I was so much happier when we were together, too," Andy said. "I always hoped you felt the same, but I never really expected you to."

They looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds.

"Could I maybe-" Erin started, "-could I kiss you?"

Andy just barely nodded. They took a step toward each other. Erin put her arms around his neck. Their lips grew close, when she suddenly pulled away.

"Is something wrong?" Andy asked, slightly shocked.

"Yes, very wrong," Erin said, looking down. "I shouldn't be doing this. I can't kiss you, not while I'm still with Gabe. That's just wrong."

Andy let out a long, frustrated exhale. "Yeah, I guess that's only right."

"I'll break up with him," Erin said happily as she looked back up at Andy. "Tomorrow. Then I can kiss you."

"Alright," Andy said enthusiastically.

"But there's still a lot I need to talk about with you before then," Erin said, suddenly somber again.

"I'm all ears," Andy said earnestly.

Next Chapter: And then there were three.

Please review. Negative feedback is just as good as positive!