Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process.
Kejce, enjoy the history links.
April 3, 1945
"I think it's horseshit."
"Jasper, you don't get to decide."
"I just don't understand what they're thinking and obviously all of London agrees with me!" Jasper replied, slamming the rolled up London Times against the table in front of him.
Jasper was exaggerating but not by much. The majority of Londoners appeared to be up in arms over the indication that Eisenhower was literally leaving Berlin to Stalin. Jasper was beside himself. He couldn't understand what would warrant Eisenhower allowing the Red Army to get to Berlin first.
"What's the matter, Jasper, don't you trust Uncle Joe?"
The sarcasm in Alec's voice indicated that he didn't agree with Eisenhower's the decision to take US troops north either. The action would effectively leave the victory over Berlin to be savored by the Russians. It certainly left a bad taste in Alec's mouth.
"No, I don't." There wasn't hint of waiver in Jasper's voice. He didn't trust Stalin no matter what alliances were formed to win the war.
"Where did you get this?" Roberts asked, interrupting Jasper and Alec. He pushed himself between the two partners to get a glance at the Times.
"On our drop yesterday, does it matter? The important thing here is that we're allowing Stalin to walk straight into a land grab. It's ridiculous…after all of this." He waved his arms around madly. "We're just handing it over to them."
"General Eisenhower's not a stupid man, Jasper. He obviously thinks that Berlin doesn't hold the same importance it did months ago. There are bigger fish to fry elsewhere in Germany, namely the stronghold in the north. Then there's Austria and Czechoslovakia in the south."
Jasper rubbed his palms over his face. There were only so many soldiers, and they couldn't be everywhere at once. He had to concede that Alec was right. He was still frustrated, and there didn't seem to be a good alternative. Despite the men's confidence in their leadership, all of them wanted to see a US flag waving from the top of the Reichstag. Although no one would admit it out loud, deep down they agreed with Churchill. Berlin was as much a psychological victory as it was a political one. The conflict lay in the fact that Eisenhower directed the troops based on the military importance, not on the political importance of being the first of the Allies to step foot inside Berlin.
"Whitlock!" the mail clerk shouted from the far end of the hall.
At the sound of his name being called, Jasper's heart rate picked up double time. The argument over Berlin was for the moment forgotten. Jasper stood and weaved among the tables of loud chatter to make his way toward the clerk. The whole time an electric buzz drowned out everything around him. Every day he tried to quell the hope that a letter from Alice would arrive. He knew that not enough time had passed since the letter professing his love made its way across the Atlantic, but that didn't stop him from wondering and worrying about it. He worried about the pain his letter would cause, that she would hate him, and that she would toss his gift aside. Mostly he worried that she would dismiss him. Professing his love for Alice was the bravest thing Jasper had ever done. And given the danger he'd already faced, that was saying a lot.
He paused in front of the clerk, unable to look him in the eye. Instead he reached out a shaky hand and took the letter. Disappointment flooded him as soon as he recognized his mother's handwriting. He internally kicked himself for being disappointed. It wasn't time; she hasn't had enough time yet, he rationalized. He turned to head back across the mess hall to his unit when he heard Alec's last name called. He waved Alec off, saving him a trip, and eventually handed the good sized stack of letters to his partner. The smile on Alec's face made Jasper truly happy for him. He tapped Alec on the shoulder and lifted his chin in the direction of their barracks. Alec nodded, half paying attention to Jasper and half staring in disbelief at the letter that had obviously been penned by his eldest boy. The scraggily writing gave Alec a huge shot in the arm. He puffed out his chest and walked a little taller, slinging his arm around Jasper's shoulder.
"I don't care who gets that rat bastard in Berlin first!" Alec grinned. "Like Patton said: 'We want this war over with. The quickest way to get it over…is to go get the bastards who started it. The quicker they are whipped, the quicker we can go home.' This," Alec said, fanning his son's letter in front of Jasper, "is what we're fighting for, not a fucking piece of Berlin."
Jasper halted in midstride. "Alec, you're forgetting everything," he argued, shrugging off Alec's arm. "I've heard the stories too. Patton also said that the quickest way home was through Berlin and Tokyo. He vowed to 'personally shoot that paper hanging son-of-a-bitch Hitler.' But we're not going to Berlin, we're taking the long way around and letting Stalin get there first!" 1
"Jasper," Alec fumed. His young partner was testing the very limit of his patience. "Don't you begin to tell me about taking the long way around. I've been all over this god forsaken continent and fucking Africa too. I've fought, killed, and when my leaders asked, I wiped the blood and guts of my buddies off my face to stand up and fight some more. Don't you dare tell me we're taking the long way around just to give Stalin the credit. We march, we fight, and we follow orders without question. That's what soldiers do."
Jasper stood frozen as he watched his friend storm off without him. Guilt coursed through his veins. He never imagined that his words would insult Alec. He just wanted to prove his point. The argument only demonstrated the marked difference between the two men. Although both knew the horrors of war, Alec could see the end approaching for him while Jasper looked at the unfinished business.
Alec stormed ahead, leaving Jasper in his dust. It wasn't that he didn't agree with the private, he did. He was just more pragmatic about what he could and couldn't influence. The most important thing to him was keeping himself in one piece. He swore to Jane he'd make it home, and he intended to keep that promise. He could almost taste how sweet her lips would be when they were finally reunited. He imagined how many inches each of his boys had grown since he'd left. He dreamed of tossing the ball with them in the backyard of their Bakersfield home.
Alec was right to dream of home. Given his age and the number of months he'd already served, he would likely be one of the first ones sent home once victory finally arrived. Despite his longing for home, he understood Jasper's passionate stance Hell, part of him even admired him for it. Jasper was the kind of guy to put doing the right thing above doing the safe thing. That was the kind of bravery that got men medals, most of them posthumously.
Jasper's shoulders sagged in defeat. He was doing it again. He spoke too quickly, allowing his words to hurt someone he cared about. He looked down at the letter in his hands, feeling the burn of his mother's handwriting against his frigid skin. Go fix it, young man, he could almost hear her saying. Suddenly Jasper had a longing for his mother's arms. He remembered her brushing his hair back from his forehead and kissing him goodbye. He couldn't face Alec, not yet. Instead he hulled up against the back steps of the mess hall and looked to his mother's letter for comfort.
March 6th 1945
My Sweet Boy,
I hope this letter finds you well. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I'm sitting at the kitchen table not long after fixing lunch for your pa. I used the second to last jar of canned peaches for his pie today. The last one will be waiting for you. It's fairly sunny outside and warm. I think it topped sixty yesterday. The hens are out enjoying the fine weather too. Seeing them chase the cloud's moving shadows reminds me of when you brought me eggs from the coop when you were little. You may not remember, it but when you were about four, I began sending you out for eggs for your dad's morning omelet. You'd cradle as many eggs as possible in your arms and make your way back to the kitchen steps. I can still hear the chickens cackling after you as you made off with their hard work. Their "cheepers," as you'd call them, would peck you all the way through the yard until you reached the safety of my arms. Unfortunately, more than a few eggs met their demise on the return trip, but your sweet, proud smile was enough to make me forget about the mess I'd have to clean up later. I haven't seen that smile in some time, and I pray that I have reason to see it again soon. If nothing else, please let me know that you're warm and well fed.
Sam Jr., Emmie, and the boys ask about you all the time. I tell them you're doing okay and that you don't write as often as I'd like. But pay me no mind. I know you have a job to do.
I'm certain your brother will be writing to you soon. He got a gander at your last letter and well…I can only imagine what advice he's going to pass along to you.
Jasper groaned at his mother's less than subtle reminder that he wasn't writing often enough. What was worse was the idea of Sam sending him girl advice.
"Uckk."
Jasper wrinkled his nose and pulled up his shoulders in tension. It was as if he was wincing at a nearby skunk about to send out its spray. The feeling was somewhere between disgust and disbelief.
"Emmie all but fell out of the sky and into your lap, you lucky bastard. It's not like you had to woo her across an entire ocean!"
Jasper shook his head and rolled his eyes. He wasn't sure he'd follow any girl advice from Sam, but he resolved to ease his guilt by writing to his mother more often.
I told your pa that I was going to write to you today and asked if there was anything he wanted me to tell you. He grinned and said to mention that the fence by the creek at the end of the south pasture came down again and that you'd know why.
Jasper laughed at that. He remembered arguing with his old man over the depth of the fence posts they set three summers ago. Neither man wanted to admit that the depth was too shallow, and the only way to fix it would be to either move sixty yards of fence line or dredge up the same amount of limestone to set them all properly. Apparently the compromise they settled on with extra gravel around each post hadn't lasted as long as they'd hoped. A pang of regret filled Jasper as he imagined his aging father re-digging the post holes without him.
He won't say it out loud, but I know how much he misses you. I can see it when he sits quietly in your favorite spot up over the ridge or when he bows his head before each meal. He holds me tighter when he sleeps and shudders when he dreams. I know it's you he's dreaming about. He thinks I'm asleep when he wakes in a start. He often gets up after a bad dream, and I find him staring at your picture on the mantle until the wee hours stretch toward dawn. He loves you, Jasper. So, so much. I love you too, my sweet boy.
From the request in your last letter, I get the impression that someone else out there loves you too. Don't try to snow me, boy. A mama knows. Do you remember when you were five and I caught you sneaking sugar out of my coffee tin? Your finger was wet, and you had white crystals stuck to your lips. Yet you stood there and told me, "No, Mama, I didn't take any of your sugar." It was hard trying to keep a straight face while staring into your blue eyes as you adamantly shook your blond curls. Do you remember what I told you? I said that when you lie, your mama can see a bright green dot on the tip of your nose. So don't sass me by saying that the girl you're writing to is just a "friend of a friend." There's absolutely no reason for a photograph to travel from Nickel Creek, Texas to London, England and then back across the Atlantic to a girl in Maryland if there wasn't more to the story than her being a "friend." Your mama knows you better than that. So I expect you to come clean and wipe the green off your nose by the time you reply to this letter.
Stay safe, my sweet boy. I love you more than I could ever express. Mind your manners, eat your peas, and for God's sake, duck when the enemy shoots. Come back home to me, my arms are waiting (and if she's a nice girl, bring her with you).
Love you always,
Mama
Jasper let out a full blown laugh at his mother's frank assessment and quick wit. The GIs around him stopped midstride and stared at the ruckus he was making. It felt good to laugh like that. He needed the light hearted smile covering his face to get him up off his ass and over to his barracks to make things right with Alec. Jasper carefully folded his letter and stuffed it back in the envelope. A quiet whisper left his lips as he scuffled along the gravel path.
"I love you too, Ma."
The trip to the barracks didn't last as long as Jasper hoped. He was running through different ways to say he was sorry. By the time he reached the door, no flashes of brilliancy appeared in his mind. Jasper threw off his coat and settled on his bunk beside Alec's. He hung his head low and clasped his hands together.
"I'm sorry, Alec."
Alec was so engrossed in his letters that he didn't even notice Jasper sit down. One of the best things about Alec was his ability to let things go. Once he'd said his piece, it was over. He certainly didn't hold a grudge. Alec glanced up from his pages to take in the sight of his partner's apologetic expression.
"Aaww, save it, Jasper. I'm over it—"
The end of Alec's sentence was abruptly cut off by a loud bang on their door. Master Sergeant Gray appeared before both men, and Alec and Jasper both scrambled to their feet to stand at attention before their superior.
"You've got ten minutes to pack up and be back in my office," the sergeant ordered. He stood stoically, his eyes shifting to stare at each of the men before him. "We have a new drop."
j~JJJ~j
Jasper sniggered to himself as he stared at the prop camera laying in his hands.
"What now?" Alec asked as he gripped the Packard's steering wheel harder.
Jasper looked up and shrugged sheepishly. He was embarrassed that his little outburst had been caught.
"Spit it out, Jasper. I'm in no mood. I was just getting to the good part of Eric's letter when Grey showed up. He was up at the free throw line with six seconds on the clock and a tied ballgame with our cross town rivals, the Bakersfield Hornets."
"Sorry, Alec."
"For God's sake, quit telling me you're sorry and just tell me what's running through your thick head."
At this, Jasper got his back up. There wasn't really anything he'd done wrong in the last twenty-four hours to tick Alec off, but apparently he had a really short fuse today.
"What's running through my thick head? Who the hell shot your dog? It's like all of a sudden anything anyone says just sets you off."
"I know. It's my fault. I shouldn't be taking it out on you." Alec rubbed a hand across his five o'clock shadow and grimaced apologetically. "I made a promise to one of my boys, and I didn't keep it. I'm just—I just feel bad for letting him down."
"What did you say?"
"A while back, before the war, I promised Danny that I'd be at every one of his basketball games if he made Jr. Varsity. He was so proud in his last letter. I didn't get through all of it, but I'm pretty sure by the tone that they're at least at the district finals."
"So, I guess he made the team?"
"Yeah." Alec nodded proudly. "He actually made it back in September, but back then I'd still hoped I'd be home in time to see at least some of his games. Now…," Alec paused and shook his head. "I just hate that I made a promise I couldn't keep."
"You didn't know, Alec. Quit beating yourself up. Did Danny say something about it?"
"That's just it. He hasn't said a word. I don't know if he's upset about it, or if by thirteen and after almost three years apart, he's more used to me not being around than actually missing me."
"Don't say that. He misses you. I'm a lot older than him, and I sure as hell still miss my old man."
"You're not that much older than him," Alec joked as he reached over to ruffle Jasper's hair.
"Quit it, asshole," Jasper joked as he mock punched Alec in the ribs.
"All right, all right, knock it off before I drive both of us off the road. Now what were you laughing about? Getting into trouble with your elementary teacher?"
Jasper shot Alec a look that plainly said, shut it.
"Sorry," Alec replied, lifting his fingers slightly off the wheel in surrender.
"For once it has nothing to do with Alice. I was just thinking about how ironic it is that our cover has us posing as American journalists. That's what set me off in the first place."
"Set you off?"
"You know yesterday, when we were arguing over the article in the Times."
"I wasn't arguing. I'm a good soldier. I shut up and do what I'm told. You on the other hand…"
"Alec, I'm trying to explain," Jasper fumed.
Alec rolled his wrist and tilted his head mockingly inviting Jasper to proceed.
"You remember that photograph of Seth and me that you found the first day you arrived?"
"Yeah, why?"
"The photographer was from LIFE." Alec stared at the road ahead of them but couldn't understand what that had to do with Stalin and Berlin. "This wasn't the guy's first international assignment, far from it. It seemed as if the guy spent half of his adult life covering stories abroad. After shooting around ETOUSA, he took photos of us guys eating in the mess hall and then just goofing around afterwards. Seth and I caught up with him when he took a break to catch a smoke. You know how some guys just need someone to talk to? Well this guy was just like that. You give him an opening, and he'll tell you his life story. He said his first assignment was hell too. In the early 30s, he'd been assigned to cover political and social events in Russia. It wasn't long after Stalin climbed into power and started making changes to the demands for agricultural production under the guise of collectivism or kolhozy. Anyone who didn't support Stalin's goals was arrested, exiled, or shot. There was no choice but to accept the ideals of collectivism. Unfortunately, when the grain production didn't meet Stalin's demands, the bastard seized what he could, causing widespread famine."
Alec wrinkled his brow, trying to jog his memory for anything he'd read indicating unbearable conditions at that time.
"I know what you're doing, and I don't remember hearing or reading about anything like that either. That's the thing. I was young at the time, but my pa read to us every night from the paper. He was religious about following what was going on in the world after surviving the first Great War. Yet this photographer said that no bit of news left Russia without Stalin's approval. He told us that the foreign journalists were either sheltered from the truth or coerced into shoving the worst of it under the rug. This guy secretly took photos of peasant farms when he could, but everything was checked before it went to print. He had to ruin a whole role of film to keep from being discovered by the Russian police. But the agricultural demands that caused the famine weren't the end of things for Stalin. Next on the agenda were his political rivals. Stalin purged the Russian government of anyone who challenged him. There were mock trials to make it look like justice, but according to what this guy saw firsthand, it was just a way to clean house of any opposition. They called it the "Great Terror." Stalin went on to purge over 30,000 soldiers from the Red Army for fear of an uprising against him. Thirty-thousand soldiers, Alec!"
"Jasper," Alec paused, scrunching up his face in confusion as he stared out at the road before them. "I don't know what to think. Why do you believe this guy?"
"He showed me the burns."
"What?"
"He rolled up his sleeve and showed me the burns. He said they found a few of his photographs. He would glue the real ones to the back of more pleasant ones in order to get them out of the country. Unfortunately he was caught and tortured before being deported. He was lucky he hadn't been killed. Alec, those burns—they were made with something like a branding iron and word was in Russian. I know what it would take to do that, and no man could possibly inflict it on himself."
A low whistle passed through Alec's lips.
"If this is true, then Stalin's a monster."
"And supposedly our ally," Jasper added in a grim tone. "So if you're asking me if I support Churchill and want to see our flag flying over Berlin first, the answer is hell yes."
"Jasper, the Big Three already agreed to the division of the Axis lands at Yalta. Why would Stalin go back on his word? Even if he is out to gain more power and land, he's not going to go against the Americans or the British. After five years of war, who the hell would have the stomach to start another one?"
"Didn't they say that after the first Great War?" Jasper mused.
Both men were silent, trying to think through the implication of having a new unchecked world leader with a thirst for power. For the first time in his life, Alec wondered if his own boys would somehow be caught up in another war much like himself and his father before him.
"I don't know who coined him as Uncle Joe. I don't trust him, but I sure as hell hope that FDR and Eisenhower know what they're doing."
Alec blew out a loud gust of air. "Me too, Jasper. For the sake of my boys and their future, me too."
j~JJJ~j
Three days later, Jasper and Alec finally made their way back to the barracks. The exhaustion of being up for nearly thirty hours straight had them dragging themselves toward their bunks in a lifeless trance. Even though it was barely seven in the evening and neither man had had a suppertime meal, the first order of priority was not sustenance but sleep. Although small, the beds were soft, dry, and inviting. Neither man noticed their growling stomachs before collapsing, fully clothed, into their respective bunks.
After nearly twelve hours of shut eye, Jasper was the first man to crack open an eye. The bugler had yet to call the men for fall-in, but Jasper could feel it. His internal clock ticked down the seconds until the quiet solitude would be shattered by that godforsaken screeching horn. For the rest of his life, Jasper swore he'd hate the sound of a bugle, a trumpet or nearly any other brass instrument. Within weeks of his arrival at boot camp in Texas, he decided the flute or piano would be the only instruments his future children would ever be allowed to play.
I wonder if Alice plays anything. I'll have to ask her.
With that though, Jasper bolted upright in his bunk. Dust motes danced on the thin rays of light allowed to sneak around the corners of the blackout shade. The dance entranced the young soldier until the goosebumps on his arms forced him from his daydream. Jasper pulled his socked feet back beneath the blanket and chafed his arms crossed over his chest in the hope that the friction would keep out the cold. His hands finally lifted to cover his eyes and rub out the sleep. The effort was futile, but he still attempted to ignore the roaring sound of his empty stomach.
Jasper was lightheaded and dizzy. He'd need to find some sustenance fast. His socked feet hit the cold wood floor sending a shiver up his spine. His head shook as he blew cold air out through his lips. A sound somewhere between "burr" and a frigid "blech" crossed his lips, causing Alec to groan and cover his head with his pillow.
"Shut up, Jasper. We're officially on leave for the next forty eight hours. Unless the Germans are outside this barrack's door, I expect to keep your goddamned trap shut."
"Who kisses a mouth like that in the morning?" Jasper joked. "A pleasant one, aren't you?"
Alec groaned even louder this time and Jasper felt a little bad about the noise he'd made. For as many months as he'd known Alec, he'd rarely seen him sleep soundly. Nightmares often kept him from a full night's rest. The guilty feeling growing in his chest was cut off by a fierce attack by Alec's pillow. He'd abruptly sat up and swung hard at Jasper's head, knocking him off the bunk and onto the floor.
"Oww!" Jasper cried out as his head clunked against the footlocker at the end of Alec's bunk. "You're going to pay for that, asshole," Jasper growled as he made a flying leap on top of Alec.
Pillows, blankets and mattresses went flying as the two went at each other like a couple of boys on the playground fighting over a lost marble. Neither man willing to give in. Jasper's agility matched well against Alec's speed. As the ruckus grew louder and louder, a small group from the unit gathered outside the barracks door to gawk and place bets on the outcome.
"Yo there, Whitlock!" Roberts roared in a pretty good impersonation of Sergeant Gray's Boston accent.
The threat of their superior finding them in this type of mess halted both Jasper and Alec in mid swing. Jasper turned first, hoping that Alec wouldn't take the opportunity to sucker punch him. From the corner of his eye he saw Roberts pick something up off the floor and lean casually against the barracks door. He smugly grinned at Jasper as he waved the long end of an envelope back and forth across his face like a fan. Roberts sucked in a deep breath as if he was inhaling the aroma from the finest cognac.
"Smells like a girl to me," he joked before offering the letter over his shoulder for another guy in the unit to take a whiff. "I'm guessing it's not from his mama since it's a Maryland postmark, and in Texas they need help to write their names properly."
Jasper's eyes grew wide not only had this idiot insulted his mother and the entire state of Texas, he was holding a letter from Alice! Joking or not, Jasper was going to end him. Jasper's eyes darted to Alec for a split second. No words were passed, but Alec didn't need words to understand that Roberts was about to die. No man is allowed to insult a mother and live to talk about it.
Hell no.
Before Roberts could allow the smug grin to fall from his face, he was slammed in unison by the pair. Both men struck with the speed of vipers, knocking Roberts through the doorway and out into the hall. Jasper sprang up and ripped the envelope from Roberts' hand while Alec held a coughing and stuttering Roberts to the floor by his throat.
"Do not. Fuck. With. My. Partner."
Alec released Roberts only to grab his shirt and slam him once more against the floor.
"That was for fucking with my beauty sleep."
He stood from his crouch beside Roberts and watched as the men parted around him like the Red Sea. Alec followed a nearly comatose Jasper into the room and slammed the door behind him. Seconds later they heard a very perturbed Master Sergeant barreling down the hall. Alec and Jasper righted their mattresses and slipped beneath the covers disguising themselves in sleep like children caught snooping on Christmas morning.
Muffled insults were hurled at the men remaining in the hallway, insinuating that if they had enough time to fart around over hair and makeup like women then they'd also enjoy cleaning the outdoor latrines after a ten mile run in full gear!
Alec pursed his lips while Jasper buried his face in his pillow to control his laughter. The mattress shook, allowing a few squeaking sounds come from a room were the men were supposed to be asleep. Alec was about to pulverize Jasper for giving them away when they heard the distinct sound of the bugler's horn calling the unit to fall in. When the claps of the soldiers' boots faded into silence, Alec sat up with a wicked grin of pleasure smattered across his face. Jasper uncovered his head, and the two stared at each other for a half second before cracking up in a fit of laughter that had both men howling to the point of sore stomachs.
When the last of his laughing fit died down, Jasper fell back against his pillow in exhaustion. The collapse was followed by a rumpling sound which reminded Jasper that something both precious and potentially deadly lurked beneath his pillow. He eased his hand beneath the pillow and retrieved the envelope only to stare at it in near agony. His heart beat wildly beneath his chest as he examined everything about the item in his hand aside from its contents.
"It's a hell of a lot easier to figure out what's inside it once you open it, you idiot."
Alec's words startled Jasper, who was suddenly reminded that he wasn't alone. To Jasper, Alice's letter felt like a ticking alarm clock. He didn't know if his time was finally up. Alec sat up and stretched, realizing that the pretense of more sleep was useless. His partner was going to drive him bat crazy staring at that envelope all day. Alec squinted, taking careful notice of the size and thickness of the envelope. Before Jasper even had the balls to open it, Alec knew there wasn't anything to fear. No woman writes a Dear John letter with as many pages stuffed into the envelope. He'd been there before when men received those types of letters. Short and to the point, they said things like I'm sorry, I hope God sees you home soon and stay safe. In other words, I don't love you enough to wait for you.
Alec smirked at Jasper's pathetic state, but still had no desire to torture his partner (at least not at the moment).
"Come on, let's eat and then you can come back and stare at it some more."
"No, you go on ahead. I'll catch up."
Alec frowned. Even if Jasper did manage to summon enough guts to open the letter soon, which he highly doubted, there were enough pages in there to keep him occupied well past meal time.
"You sure? You know they don't hold breakfast for stragglers."
"I know. I'll be along."
Lie, thought Alec.
Lie, thought Jasper.
"Suit yourself." Alec shrugged.
He swung on his outer coat and trampled out of the building, leaving Jasper and his unopened envelope to enjoy each other's company.
Just open it, Jasper shouted at himself.
I wonder how many different ways a woman like Alice could come up with to say kiss off?
Take a long walk off a short pier…
I was pleased to have you come and never sorry to see you go…
The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them…
I shall find a man, and a better one than you, with wise eyes, but kindlier, and lips so soft, but true, and I daresay he will do.
An envisioned knife twisted in Jasper's gut at the thought of her moving on to someone else. If she was looking to torture him, describing her affection for another man would certainly do it.
She could probably write four pages on that topic alone.
Jasper warred with himself. The hunger in his stomach churned while the painful fear of losing Alice pounded inside his skull. Together they formed sea of agony wreaking havoc on his heart. He couldn't lose her. He just couldn't. Opening that letter would either cause his dream of calling her his own to go up in smoke or he'd fall over from the converse.
I don't faint.
Just open it. Don't keep her waiting for your reply.
With that, his thoughts betrayed him, and he knew it. He still hoped. That little glimmer was pounding away inside his chest like the boom from a cannon. When he could stand it no longer, Jasper lifted the corner of the envelope and sucked in a deep breath. One way or another, this letter was going to change his life. The fresh, crisp pages crackled as Alice's message unfurled. Jasper closed one eye and squinted the other in a ridiculous attempt to lessen the blow of any hateful words. He looked like a little boy closing his eyes in fear of the dark. Jasper tried to comfort himself by easing into the letter slowly. As if the pain would be less if the dagger sunk into his chest one slow inch at a time.
The date appeared first, and upon seeing the ink, Jasper fully opened his eyes to Alice's words. Five weeks had passed since his letter left London to find her.
"My Dear Jasper," he read aloud.
Although deep down he knew that Alice wasn't a vengeful person, Jasper couldn't help but imagine the worst while attempting to squelch his hopes.
That could mean anything. She could be playing with me, using her sarcasm like a cat plays with a mouse…just before she eats it.
His eyes betrayed his attempt to ignore the next words on the page and focus solely on the tone of her introduction. He wasn't finished working through all of the different ways she could imply disgust in her address when his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. His eyes went wide, his mouth fell slack. His breath quickened as he read and re-read her words at least five times to be sure his mind wasn't playing a trick on him. Yet there they were, emblazoned in blue ink, staring back at him, unfreezing his mind and shocking his heart.
"I love you, too."
His words were a whisper, just barely loud enough to reach his own ears. A sound somewhere between a gasp for breath and an insane laugh echoed over and over as he tried to put the pieces together. His addled mind wouldn't believe what his eyes saw and his lips read. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes in disbelief.
"My God, she loves me too."
A full blown smile stretched across his mouth like a ray of sunlight beaming over the ocean. It rippled over him and spread like the warmth of a fire until no part of him was left to burn. She had taken it all, consumed him, and still somehow left him standing.
She loves me, too.
Every emotion he'd ever known passed over his heart as he read Alice's letter. The feelings intensified until it seemed as though they were burning through his skin. Happiness, pride, anger, self-loathing, worry, fear, hatred, joy, jealousy… bliss How could one woman bring out all of these feelings both tearing him apart and yet still leaving him whole? The emotions tumbled around inside him until he reached her last paragraph.
With the letter in his left hand Jasper followed Alice's command and placed his right against his thigh. His brow furrowed as he traced the line of his pressed trousers with his middle finger. He smiled at the idea of Alice creating this form in sculpture, but the smile was soon overpowered by the thrumming of his heart as he imagined her hand placed against his chest. He swallowed hard and continued Alice's directions, turning his hand over and brushing his smallest knuckle against his thigh. His breath quickened and his jaw tightened as he followed her train of thought. With all of his heart, Jasper vowed to touch her cheek just as tenderly with his own hand.
When packaged all together and squeezed inside of him, this jumble of emotions was finally overpowered by one basic human instinct…lust.
He'd never felt anything stronger in his life. Alice's letter was swiftly stowed inside his pillowcase and before another moment could pass, Jasper was sprinting out of the barracks and down to the showers. For once he couldn't care less if the water was warm or cold. He thanked his lucky stars that the units were out on a run for this would allow him the privacy he so desperately needed. He stripped of his clothes and rushed under the shower head pulling the chain to start the spray. Cool water drenched his skin, dripping like rain over his collarbones and down his chest. Soap followed and the slick lather soon covered his toned stomach before dipping into the trail of hair that tingled against his tightening flesh. Goosebumps flowed over his skin as a shiver rippled through him. His chest heaved as he relived her words and felt her touch.
Her hand over his heart,
Her eyes drinking in his skin,
Her body touching, teasing, awakening his need.
Her lips would come next, brushing over his lightly, as she stepped closer, sharing the water between them. The tips of her fingers would trace over his nipples then ride over his shoulders until they reached the hair at the back of his neck. She would pull and he would comply, offering his mouth, his body, and his heart to her. She could take what she wanted for he was already hers. Her tight pink buds would float between his lips as he suckled and worshiped her, giving her back everything he'd received. One of her hands would leave his hair and trace the muscles of his back, gently gliding down his spine and over the taut cheek of his ass. The movement would startle him, and he'd unconsciously thrust forward pressing himself against her as while pulling her hips tightly against his front. A startled moan would fall from her lips just before his tongue would lift from her neck and invade her mouth. Gently, almost teasingly at first until she offered herself to him. He'd lift his hand to caress her cheek, wiping away her tears before threading his fingers in her hair. She was his; he was hers.
Jasper's heart pounded in his ears, the blood rushing through his body pulsed until a loud groan fell from his lips and his knees buckled against the crippling weight of his body. Every ounce of strength he had left moved to his hands. One clasped around the shower chain, the other hanging on to the final moments of his orgasm. He could give no more, breathe no more, feel no more until the weight of it was too much and his body sank until he knelt upon the shower floor. With his heart racing, his head fell between his legs to catch his breath. A beautiful smile graced Jasper as one word slipped past his lips.
"Alice."
j~JJJ~j
Alec pulled the collar of his jacket closer around his neck and hunched his shoulders against the wind. After eating breakfast and meandering around for a long while he hoped he'd given Jasper enough time in private. That boy needed to get his head out of his ass and back in the moment at hand. Alec shook his head. Deep down he knew it wasn't that simple. Still he hoped for all of their sakes that Alice's letter would bring welcomed news.
Alec, however, was no fool. He had a backup plan. If Alice's letter didn't cheer Jasper up, then perhaps his own news would. He stomped loudly down the hall hoping to announce his presence to Jasper before he reached the barracks door. With one last deep breath, Alec turned the handle and pushed. On the other side of the door he met two bright blue eyes and a bashful but brilliant grin. Alec shook his head and thanked his lucky stars for the intelligence and kind heart of the young Miss Alice Brandon.
"So, good news, huh?" Alec asked as he pulled off his overcoat.
Jasper ducked his head in response, but it didn't escape Alec's notice that his shy smile grew even wider. Alec studied his partner and sucked on his teeth. Jasper's hair was wet. Ahh, the recognition hit Alec quickly. He wrinkled his nose a bit and sniffed the air around him.
Well, at least it doesn't smell like spunk.
"Glad to have that privacy, huh?" Alec asked as he ruffled the back of Jasper's head.
He couldn't resist torturing the man. If possible Jasper grew even more embarrassed. His face grew red and he coughed and turned away from his partner's stare. To Alec, this amusement was almost worth the last five weeks of Jasper's moodiness.
"Jesus, man." Alec laughed again as he kicked the back of the chair Jasper was sitting in. "It's not like I caught you sniffing her panties or anything."
Whatever Alec had been planning to say next, it died in his throat. Jasper's whole body stiffened. He pounded his fists on the desk and stood. Alec immediately realized that he had gone too far.
"Hey, hey, I'm just kidding, Jasper," he said, raising his hands in surrender. "It's not like I actually caught you, did I?" Alec's brown eyes were twinkling with amusement. He wasn't going to back down from Jasper's murderous glare. He'd put up with too much shit from the private lately.
"You will never disrespect her by speaking like that to me again, partner or no."
"And you are going to have to sucker punch me if you want to get even. I will not fight you, Jasper."
Jasper put a hand to Alec's chest and threw a half swing that pulled up well short of Alec's chin. The action was swift and powerful. An undefended punch to the face by Jasper would likely break Alec's jaw. Yet Alec stood there, stock still and un-fazed by the swing. He trusted Jasper, no matter what circumstance was currently testing that trust.
Jasper pulled up from his stance and relaxed his fists. He would not hit a man that would not fight back. It was beneath his moral code to do such.
"What did she say?" Alec cautiously whispered.
All of the fury that was in Jasper only moments earlier burned away by Alec's simple question. It was amazing what the thought of this woman could do to him. Jasper closed his eyes and lightly shook his head.
"She says she loves me too."
Alec stepped forward and clapped Jasper on his shoulder.
"I'm glad you were man enough to tell her the truth. Sounds like she's brave enough to love you back anyway." Alec tightened his grasp on Jasper's shoulder, shaking him a bit until he looked up from the floor and met Alec's earnest stare. "I'm sorry…you know, for what I said. I was only trying to get a rise out of you, but it was stupid. I wouldn't disrespect her. Your love her, and that means something to me."
Jasper stared at Alec for what seemed to be a long time before he pursed his lips and nodded. "Apology accepted."
Not forgotten, but accepted.
"Thanks. Hey…um, why don't you finish up that letter you were working on. It will need to go out in the mail before you take off tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" Jasper asked. "I thought we had two days of leave."
"We do, but you won't be here tomorrow." Alec grinned.
He reached inside his pocket, pulling out the leave card and tossing it on the desk.
"What's this?"
"It's a port pass and leave card for tomorrow. I filled out the request for you to go visit your friend in Stroud."
"Seth?" Jasper asked in disbelief. Alec only smiled and nodded. "Gray passed on word at breakfast from Colonel Swan that he'd been released from Heathfield last week and was headed to his family's home in Stroud."
"How did you get this through so fast? It took me weeks to get approval to see him last time."
Alec shrugged. "Guess Gray was in an incredibly good mood after the morning run. He must get his jollies watching the guys scrub the latrines." Alec wrinkled his nose and shivered in disgust.
"Alec, I don't know what to say—" Jasper felt like a heel. He'd nearly sucker punched his partner not five minutes ago, and now he realized that Alec cared a whole lot more for him than he'd ever let on.
"Save it. Finish your letter to her. Have a good visit and then come back with your head screwed on straight,capisce? ¿Comprende? Verstehen Sie?"
Jasper laughed at Alec's awful accents. His falsetto imitation of a German girl was awful enough to break the tension between the men. Once Jasper's laughter wore down, he sat back at the desk and picked up his pen.
"I wasn't writing to Alice. I was writing to my old man."
"Oh yeah?" Alec asked as he flopped back down on the bed.
"Yeah," Jasper replied. He felt as though he owed his partner admission into his private life after acting like such an ass. "Alice asked me to write to him. I told her that my biggest regret was not telling him I loved him when I left for the war."
Alec rolled his head to the side in disbelief. "Geez, Jasper."
Jasper only shrugged. "Yeah, I know. I should have, but words like that aren't easy for either of us. I know my old man loves me, but Alice says there's no room for regrets, so I'm going to take her advice and do it now."
"You caught yourself a smart girl, Jasper," Alec said. He flopped on the bunk and threw his arm over his eyes trying to block out the sun. He hoped to catch up on the shuteye he missed this morning. "Don't fuck it up. With her, I mean. Don't fuck it up."
"Not in the plan, Alec."
A slow smile spread over Jasper's face as the etching of a plan began to take shape in his mind. The plan grew into conviction until he reached for his pen and began nodding to himself with certainty.
Someday she's going to be my wife.
A/N: This chapter has a huge amount of history tied to it, the links are worth a look. I'm indebted to Kimberly Hupp for this chapter. I read her Master's thesis on "Uncle Joe" (link below) to help me understand what Americans thought of the Russian Leader shortly before and during WWII.
Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,
-First Blush
PS. The speech from General Patton is amazing to read but please heed the warning note, it's not for the faint of heart.
Here are the sources for Jasper's imagined insults from Alice (plus a few more I liked but didn't use)
"She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go." — Dorothy Parker
The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them. - Robert Graves
"If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary." — David Sedaris
My knight in shining armour turned out to be an imposter in tin foil - Anonymous
And I shall find some girl perhaps, and a better one than you, With eyes as wise, but kindlier, and lips as soft, but true, and I daresay she will do.- Rupert Brooke
The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: Chapter 11
Story reference: In the mess hall Alec and Jasper discuss the British reaction to Eisenhower allowing the Russians to take Berlin.
Historical Significance: Stalin receives a personal telegram from Eisenhower giving his order of battle. The British protest the signal sent to Stalin, suggesting important decisions should not be taken by Eisenhower alone.
Source: http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/chrono/1945/mar45/f28mar45(dot)htm
Story reference: In the mess hall Alec and Jasper discuss the British reaction to Eisenhower allowing the Russians to take Berlin.
Historical Significance: By moving the US and British Armies north to secure the German strongholds in Northern Germany, General Eisenhower agrees to Stalin's advance into Berlin.
Source: Analysis of the Political vs. Strategic importance of Berlin: http:/www(dot)bbc(dot)co(dot)uk/ww2peopleswar/stories/84/a8645484(dot)shtml
British and American Army positions in April and May 1945: http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/maps/wwii/westfront/elbe45(dot)htm
Red Army positions in April and May 1945: http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/maps/wwii/eastfront2/finaloffensive45(dot)htm
Story reference: Alec recounts reported portions of General Patton's speech to US troops right before the battle of Normandy.
Historical Significance: Footnotes 1 &2 were provided by The Famous Patton Speech by Charles M. Province (Warning: The following link can be considered offensive for language.)
Source: http:/www(dot)pattonhq(dot)com/speech(dot)html
Story reference: Alec and Jasper discuss the risks of allowing the Russians to take Berlin.
Historical Significance:Within five years of Lenin's death, Stalin had managed the role of indisputable ruler of the Soviet Union. His brutality was unremitting… he expropriated grain from peasants causing a widespread famine. In the 1930s, he launched a reign of political terror that led to purges, arrests, deportations and executions…. thousands of party, industrial, and military leaders disappeared during his "Great Terror."
Source: http:/www(dot)pbs(dot)org/wgbh/amex/bomb/peopleevents/pandeAMEX69(dot)html
Story reference: Jasper tells Alec about the photographer who was tortured and deported from Russia after trying to expose some of the atrocities of Stalin's regime.
Historical Significance: Wold opinion of Stalin was carefully crafted by only information he allowed to be published. Kimberly's Master's thesis explores information/misinformation and the possibility of downright deception by the American press. "Uncle Joe": What Americans Thought of Joseph Stalin Before and After World War II By Kimberly Hupp
Source: http:/etd(dot)ohiolink(dot)edu/send-pdf(dot)cgi/Hupp%20Kimberly(dot)pdf?toledo1245175828