Chapter 11: Four POV

When I wander into the chasm, Lise sits, still in the place I'd left her more then an hour. I'd be severely shocked if she'd moved at all.

"Have you moved since I left?" I ask taking a seat beside her, oddly comfortable in her presence. She shock her head and opened her mouth like she had something to say then stopped herself as if she thought better of it.

"You are sharing all of this with me and I think I should share something with you too," she said quietly after a couple minutes of silence. "My real name is Elisabeth, Lise only a nickname with no significant meaning other than my birth-mother wanted me to have a nickname."

I can't contain my curiosity. It was one of my biggest downfalls when I lived in abnegation. "Birth mother?" I said questioningly. She looks down observing the skin on her arms, a quiet, familiar laugh escaping her lips.

"Well obviously Uriah and I aren't blood related," she says light heartedly. A smile breaks out on my lips because she was right. There's no way any child of uriah's could be as pale as she was.

"When I was north my birth-mother was, well alone and one of the few things anyone will tell me about my biological father is that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me"

"Why won't people tell you about your biological father?" She shrugs of my question. The way she did it told me she honestly didn't know either.

"It's like it's rehearsed sometimes too because everytime I ask I get one of the same four answers."

"What do they say?" I asked hoping I hadn't crossed any lines. The look in her eyes as she stares back at me is almost mischievous, something she'd obviously picked up from uri.

"The first thing I know is that my dad was some seriously wicked dauntless legend. I know that the only obvious physical characteristics I share with him are my eyes and my smile. I know he didn't want me. And lastly, I know that him and my birth-mother had a talent for tearing each other to pieces"

There's a comfortable silence between us as I think about what tris and I's kids would've said about us if we had been given the chance.

I am the first to break the silence,"ask me something."She seems confused, so continue less cautiously,"you answered my questions, now it's my turn."

She watched the water in the chasm whispering,"why did your wife leave you?" Just the question I'm afraid to answer.

"She thought I cheated on her," I said letting out a breath i didn't even realize had been caught in my throat. "I guess from her point of view I did," I continued.

"How?"

"She was supposed to go to amity that night, but she didn't. Instead she came home and found another woman in our home wearing my clothes." It hurt me to say these words. I could feel each one as a knife in my chest.

She audibly gasps, saying," you cheated on her?"

I shook my head unable to hide the guilt i feel. "I could never do that. That night an old friend of mine,Lauren, was attacked by a drunk man. I happened to walk past him trying to... Touch her. I guess my abnegation instincts kicked in then. I got her away from the man and took her to back to help her. She'd been covered in vomit and spilled alcohol so I let her barrow some of my clothes because my wife's were too small, then I offered her the guest bedroom because the events of the night had obviously terrified her."

I find there isn't anything else I can say, so I let her digest everything feeling the silence like a warm blanket wrapping around us. After what seems like an hour she leans close enough for me to feel her breath in my ear.

"You know four, Tris is still Madly in love with you. If you both were honest and excepted each others baggage, there's no way you couldn't get her back."

Tris loves me. I'd do anything to have her back, no matter what baggage or secrets I just need my tris. I think she needs me too.