A/N: I appreciate the reviews so much! They help keep me going. :) See the first chapter for the disclaimer. Keep the tissues handy as Will finds out more of the story from Jay... I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and please review. :)

Eleven

Will walked into his brother's apartment, finding the older man slumped on the couch, holding his head in his hands. "Jay?" Will said gently, as he slowly approached the couch.

Jay didn't say anything, but also didn't move, either.

"Jay?" Will tried again, as he sat down next to his sunken, sullen brother.

"I lost her," Jay whispered, his voice soft, though Will could hear the pain in Jay's voice.

"Lost who?" Will asked, as he placed his hand gingerly on his brother's shoulder.

"Erin."

Will furrowed his brow, confusion edging over the pain he felt at hearing the somber defeat in his brother's voice. "What makes you say that?" he asked Jay softly.

"She… she got kinda mad… and she… sh-she left kinda fast."

Will couldn't remember a time he'd ever heard Jay stutter, and each slip felt like a hot knife stabbing Will in the heart. "What happened?" he asked his brother, trying to keep his emotions at bay.

"I-I… I-I told her," Jay practically whispered.

"Told her what?"

"What… what h-h-happened."

"When you were kidnapped?"

Jay nodded, hugging his arms closer to his chest and doing the best he could to curl into a ball with his healing injuries.

"What happened?" Will tried, finding himself oddly curious to find out what Jay could have possibly told Erin that could have set her off.

"I-I… I c-can't tell y-you," Jay stuttered as his body began to tremble.

"How come?"

"B-b-because."

"Because… you're worried I'm gonna get mad too?"

Jay nodded slightly.

"If I do get mad, it's not at you," Will said gently, as he rubbed small circles onto Jay's back. "I promise. Anything you say to me, it's not going to change anything between us. I'm your brother, and I'll always be your brother. Nothing's gonna change. I promise."

Jay finally looked over at Will, causing the younger man to feel even worse as he noticed the tears that were struggling to stay in Jay's eye sockets. "You promise?" Jay said.

"I promise," Will assured him.

Jay quickly turned his head away, which Will knew was more of an attempt on Jay's part to shield Will. And yet, both of them knew, there was no protecting anyone at this point.

"Th-th-they… they… they d-did things…" Jay started slowly, as his body began to tremble more.

Will chose not to pry further, rubbing Jay on the back.

Jay squeezed his eyes closed as the tears fell down his face. "I s-sw-swear, W-will… I-I d-didn't… I didn't want to… I'm not…" Jay's voice cut off as he put his right hand over his face, scrubbing away his tears.

Will had the feeling he knew what Jay meant, but waited for his brother to confirm it.

"Please… please… please d-don't… don't tell Dad," Jay said after a moment. "H-he-he'll kill me."

"I promise, Jay," Will said quietly. "This stays between you and me. I won't tell anyone else."

"I'm… I'm not… not gay… I-I… I love E-Erin… they… they m-ma-made me."

Will closed his eyes briefly, thankful that Jay couldn't see how much his confession was hurting Will as Will rubbed Jay on the back.

"Th-th-they… they… m-ma-made me… h-h-have… s-s-s-s… sex w-with them."

Finally, Will understood why Erin had left. He wanted to kill someone, for the amount of pain his brother was in. Will stopped rubbing Jay's back to reach out and wrap his arms around his trembling brother.

"I'm so sorry all of this happened to you," Will said as he pulled Jay a little closer to him. "You don't deserve this. But none of this is your fault. What they did to you… you had no choice."

"I could've… I c-could've gotten away sooner," Jay said through his tears.

"Jay, listen to me. You did everything, everything, you could to get out of there, and you did. You survived."

Jay shook his head. "I'm sick of surviving," he said.

Will closed his eyes again, reminding himself that Jay didn't really mean it, that this was just because of the emotions of the moment, and nothing more.

"I should've died in Afghanistan, but I didn't," Jay continued. "I should've died when Keyes got me, but I didn't… I could've died when Arthur shot me…"

"But, he hit your shoulder, not your chest," Will reminded him. "And you saved Gabby in the process."

Jay shook his head again. "Why do I survive?"

"Because it's not your time."

"Why does God hate me? Why do I keep getting shot, or stabbed, or tortured, or…?"

"Raped," Will supplied for Jay.

Jay cringed at hearing the word aloud, but nodded.

"I wish I had an answer for you," Will said. "And, I'm sorry that I don't. But, no matter what happens, as long as you keep surviving, I will keep being here. I promise."

Jay nodded again, opting not to say anything more as he pushed himself away from Will. Will backed up slightly, watching as Jay stood up and walked away, effectively cutting off any further conversation for the night.

Erin felt guilt hit her harder with each ring her phone emitted. Finally, she answered it with, "Will, I'm so sorry I left him alone…"

"That's not why I'm calling," he told her. "He's doing a lot better getting around, so I'm not as worried about him being alone for that reason."

"Okay." Erin kept walking over the bridge, knowing that when she finished, she would turn around (again) and walk the other direction (again.)

"He feels like you're mad at him."

Erin stopped walking. "What?" she asked.

"He thinks that you're angry because he told you what happened, and he feels like he's lost you."

Erin closed her eyes. In her need to get out of the apartment, she didn't think about how Jay was going to react to her leaving, even though she tried to be as gentle as possible about it. "He hasn't."

"I know. But, I'm not the one you need to convince of that."

"I should come back over there."

"He's sleeping," Will said.

"I need to see him," she said.

"You know you're welcome here any time."

Erin nodded, turning to walk back toward her car. "I'm on my way."