Started on this one a bit late, so I decided to update this a day late and instead try and make it longer. /crosses fingers

Disclaimer: I don't own the music nor the characters in this story. Well, I guess I own Akiko, Momo, and Matsuda. Oh and Tomio, Michiko, Saito, and Roman. |D

I guess it's gonna have to hurt
I guess I'm gonna have to cry
And let go of some things I've loved to get to the other side

-Starts with Goodbye by Carrie Underwood

The gelatinous mixture jiggled back in forth on the spoon before shifting off and plopping onto the plastic plate. It was disgusting. Apparently it was called 'clam chowder'. She poked the mass curiously and watched as it flopped back and forth like jello. She sighed as she looked hopelessly at the gray substance; there was no way she was going to eat that thing. The hospital remained high at its standard of amazing inedible food.

Sakuno had regained some of her mobility in the past two days. She sighed as she remembered the awful experience of her first walk. It was only a bit after she had been released to nasal prongs instead of the fully fledged mask when Suzuki had barged in and told her it was time for the infamous therapy. Half delirious and entirely nauseous, they began sitting her up in bed only to have her begin retching. It was not a good experience to say the least.

Suzuki merely gave her nausea medicine and told her to buck up. Sakuno was sure her father would have said much of the same, being the workaholic that he was. Her mind briefly relayed back to the few visits her family had paid her in the ICU. Michiko and Tomio were good parents to be sure, but they were busy ones. They visited at odd hours around the day, but never stayed for longer than a half hour, leaving Sakuno alone for the majority of her day.

Her father had been adamant that by the second day post-surgery she would be walking around the ICU and he'd be there to see it. This only encouraged Suzuki to her 'strong motivation'. Not to mention that moving felt like hellfire. The parallel to moving her right arm was a jolt of snake venom. The snake reference came purely from the chest tube that was still stuck firmly in her side. She was supposed to be getting it taken out later that day, but it still proved to be a nuisance.

Chest tubes caused all sorts of problems including the inevitable backache. It was an ache that couldn't be taken away by the painkillers, thus giving Sakuno many sleepless nights. The lack of sleep was anything but healthy for the girl, but medicinal induced sleep was of little help as well. It would have to do for the meantime though.

Later on the second day, Sakuno managed to stabilize herself on her feet. She couldn't walk without her trolly for support and she still felt weak at the knees, but she could walk. Ishikawa Saito, the nurse practitioner, said that it was good... For a start. Despite the angelic look they produced, Sakuno knew the truth behind the mask. Nurses could be truly and willfully sadistic when it came to getting their patients back in shape and out of the hospital.

Suzuki at least had some shred of maternal protectiveness in her, but Saito on the other hand was devilishly cruel in comparison. Saito was the one primarily in charge of her schedule and had set up numerous hurdles for Sakuno to cross. Sakuno found herself trucking around the entire floor of the hospital once an hour which significantly chopped up her relaxation time.

Sakuno sighed as she pushed away her 'chowder' and stared at her DS which lay perfectly an inch away from easy reach. They were really beginning to test her patience. She had no doubt that Suzuki had placed it there to get Sakuno to try and sit up on her own. She put her right hand down on the bed and let her fingers pull the sheets slowly up until the red machine was in grasp.

Her hand wrapped around the DS as she sidled it up and onto her lap. Her arm use had been severely impaired post-surgery. She still couldn't force herself to lift her hands up a few inches without feeling pain shooting down her sides. They told her that she'd have to begin stretching again soon, but that she couldn't raise her arms over her head for a few weeks. Even worse, she couldn't carry anything over seven pounds for a few months!

The extension of that meant that she couldn't carry her own book bag to school. Sakuno refused to have someone carting around her bags for her. She just refused to. There was a certain pride to her own independence where she could carry her own luggage. Unfortunately, not many saw it that way. Her mother had slowly begun to wear her down to the point that she felt that she'd have to submit soon.

As she was about to flip open the screen, she heard the door to her room slide open. Her eyes flickered away from her screen as the primary doctor and the hoard of interns marched into her room. "Ehh, hello Ryuuzaki-san. Doing well I see." His voice was filled with boredom. It wasn't exactly the most encouraging thing, but Saito told her he was just a lazy bum. She'd know being his husband and all.

Ishikawa Roman had as much personality as a sloth on sleepers. He was her surgeon and she had a fair amount of trust in him, but it always seemed to lessen when he was around. "Pain or anything?" He scratched his head and when he got no affirmative answer he scribbled down a few more notes. He sauntered over to her chest tube and bent down to examine the container. He tapped his pen on the side of the container and looked over the blood filled box with a critical eye.

"We can take it out now, Ryuuzaki-san. Would now work for you?"

"Hai, Ishikawa-sensei." She gave him a stiff nod before the interns rushed around in a flurry of activity. She could have sworn she saw them prepare everything faster than a blink of an eye. Multiple pairs of curious eyes huddled around her as they all tried to see what their sensei was doing. It made her kind of uncomfortable, but she had slowly grown used to it over her past surgeries. All they really wanted was to learn after all.

"When we tell you, exhale and then hold your breath. It's important you don't breathe in, alright, Ryuuzaki-san?" She nodded in confirmation and scrunched up her eyes as she felt them snip out the sutures tying her tube in place. It was strange because of the general anesthetic left over in the area. She could feel it, but not quite all of it. It made her want to shiver as she felt the small sutures being pulled out of her skin.

"In, out, and hold." A strangely serious tone in his voice appeared as he said the final word. She barely stopped herself from gasping as he pulled the long tube out. It couldn't have taken more than a few seconds, but it hurt. Not many could say that they knew the feeling of having something inside of them pulled out. Unfortunately, Sakuno could say she had experienced it and she didn't like it at all. It felt like there was something stringy and clammy that slipped out of her and dropped to the floor. It just wasn't natural.

"Good job, Ryuuzaki-san." Roman placed gauze over the hole in her flesh and immediately sealed it with some tegaderm. "We'll keep an eye on that spot for a bit, eh?" He flipped his gloves off and into the trash. He patted her condescendingly on the head before saying, "We'll start taking you down on the pain medicine soon. You know all about the addictive nature of it I suppose?"

Of course she had heard all about it. It was a painkiller and most painkillers were addicting like morphine or oxicodon. In fact, she'd gone through minor withdrawal symptoms on her own and they were not fun at all.

"You should be out in a few days at the most. Minimum would be three and maximum would be seven. I'll be seeing you later." He gave a casual salute to her as he slipped out the door with his interns shuffling on behind him.

"I'm glad I have you all to myself again, Ryuuzaki-chan. Now that the tube is gone there is a whole other world open to you for walking." Sakuno froze. Saito's voice had that cruel tint in it as she smiled brightly at her patient. "Now let's talk about your new and improved schedule."

-I wish you were here-

He was... Bald. That was the first thing that struck him when he saw his face in the mirror. Yes, he was definitely not bald before. If the stubbles on his hair meant anything then he used to have blue hair. He sighed dejectedly at the mirror before slowly leaning himself back in bed. Recently he seemed to be meeting lots of strange revelations. He'd met his mother yesterday. She appeared to be a nice person, but mildly active when it came to hugging.

He mentally made a note to ask Akiko anything she knew about his mom. It was queer to be asking her such things considering he had evidentially lived with her for over a decade. His memory was playing all sorts of tricks on him now. For a while he had called Akiko, Timmi, for no real reason save for that he thought it was her name. He had also lost track of the days and thought it was Tuesday instead of Wednesday. It troubled him.

Being handicapped as he was, he felt that he was experiencing fairly normal life. Sometimes he phased out or forgot things, but it was pretty good considering. Akiko had taken the time to study her 'favorite patient' and read him his life story during one of their sessions. She had given him one of two options then. One, he could try and memorize as much as he could about his former life or two, come clean and say that he'd forgotten pretty much everyone and everything.

Both options were not that appealing to the boy. It felt awkward trying to memorize who he used to be, but it felt awful imagining telling all of his friends, former friends, that he no longer remembered them at all. Yukimura sighed dejectedly as he stared up at the ceiling. He'd have to make a choice soon. Apparently people were trying to schedule visits with him.

It was reassuring that he had regained some ability of speech as they trusted him enough to put him on nasal prongs. The blasted things itched, but at least it allowed him to talk. Well, the itching was a nightmare. Considering his complete lack of mobility other than speaking, he couldn't scratch his itches. He loathed it to be perfectly honest and it was outside of his dignity to allow anyone else to scratch it for him.

He couldn't wait until he could move his hand again. Akiko had told him that it would be a few weeks before he would actually have any substantial muscle tissue. She said to feel free to begin with the great exercise of finger twitching. So far he had managed to move his left pinky, but it felt like such a meager victory. There was no reward out of being able to move the smallest finger on the hand you use the least.

He felt like it was kind of hopeless. Would he be able to proceed like this? Building up from ground zero it seemed. His eyes dulled as he stared aimlessly ahead. He knew this position wasn't a good one. It left him feeling rather lost. Up a creek without a paddle as it were.

Sometimes he wished that it would all just be a dream. Right now it felt that no matter how hard he tried, he just lost ground. What was the point in trying to remember people if he just forgot them again later? It was a losing battle from the get-go and he knew it. And it made it that much harder for him to find the will to even try.

"Yukimura-kun!" The blonde doctor popped her head in the room with a smile plastered across her face. She sauntered in with her white lab coat swaying behind her before dropping into a rolling chair and scooting up towards him. "I assume very little has happened to you since I was last here? Nowhere to go after all." If he had enough muscles he would have twitched at that moment. The jab at his immobility was quite unnecessary.

She remained oblivious to his displeasure and continued on, "We have some stuff to talk about today! Well, I'll be doing the talking and you'll be doing the listening for the most part... Anyways, I'm bringing in a physical therapist to help you get back on your feet. Plus I'll be kidnapping some of your old acquaintances to see if we can stimulate your mind a little bit. I have some of my victims outside for your pleasure. They've already been told a wee bit of the situation so don't worry about it, Yukimura-kun!" She whacked him again on the cuff while chirping in her annoying sing-song voice.

He sighed before murmuring his acceptance to his fate. It couldn't get very much worse than this could it? Hopefully whoever she brought in wasn't an emotional and bawling girl who claimed to be his former girlfriend. That would be something he definitely couldn't take.

"Come in, Sanada-san and Yanagi-san! The rest of you have to stay outside for a bit longer. Thankies!" She waved in two teens wearing that awful colored uniform that he had seen yesterday. They looked rather like serious bumblebees. If bumblebees could be serious that was... Yukimura contemplated the matter for a moment until he realized that it was completely rude to leave people hanging like that.

He mentally slapped himself in the face before looking up at the two boys again. The capped one looked at him with a worried expression. He was rather stiff and uncomfortable in the situation it appeared. The one with the bowl-haircut remained for the most part emotionless. It was disconcerting in a way, but he felt as if he knew the fellow. Somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice told him that he was performing an analysis. It was queer.

Akiko jabbed the teens and whispered loudly, "Say something! It's awkward with you all staring at one another." She cleared her throat before sitting down in the far corner of the room. "Now pretend I'm not here."

Easier said than done. "Hello, Sanada-san, Yanagi-san." Yukimura picked up the names from what Akiko cued to him earlier, but it didn't mean he knew which one was which. He did suspected the capped boy was Sanada, but he wasn't quite sure why.

"Seiichi." Yukimura was sure he felt a twitch inside him. Crap. These were people he used to be really good friends with if they were on a first name basis. Sanada walked over to the bedside and put a firm hand on his friend's shoulder. It was a reassuring touch and it helped him calm down a bit. It was a gesture that conveyed more than words could have managed.

He gave a small smile back to the boy before looking towards the other one that remained at the end of his bed. They weren't at all talkative, but Seiichi rather liked that. It was calming and it made everything almost feel normal. "How do you feel?" The bowl-haired boy's tone was flat and it gave him the feeling of being interrogated.

"I'm quite alright. Thank you for asking." Yanagi raised an eyebrow. There was no way in the world he was feeling fine. The response reminded him so much of his friend. His eyes softened. Yukimura had always been a stubborn one when it came to showing weakness. It was an irritating trait, but it was what made him the invincible leader they all adored. His memories might have been gone, but Yukimura was still the same.

Some part of him felt happy. For so long he had talked to Yukimura and had never gotten a single response from the boy. He was still here. He was and that was all that mattered. "Good." The other part of him felt sad seeing his captain in such a sorry state. The purpling scar across his head bulged out from the pale shaved skin. Yanagi turned his gaze away and tried to focus on his friend, but always his eyes looked up at the scar.

"It's ok to look at it." Yanagi tilted his head in confusion. "If you're going to get used to something you have to be around it long enough. Get it over with and stop shifting around awkwardly all the way down there. It's making everyone uncomfortable." The light tone in his friend's voice made him smile. Even when he reprimanded them all he still kept spirits high.

"Right."

-The snow is getting colder-

"We can't keep this up."

"Don't you think I know that? But what else are we supposed to do? I can't just give up on him!"

A glass smashed upon the ground and shards flew across the room. "Shoot. I'm sorry, Haru... I just... I'm tired and old. I can't keep up with all of this... I just can't."

The man frowned slightly before pulling his wife into an embrace. "It's alright, Momo. I understand. Go to bed. We'll try and figure something out in the morning." The brave Yukimura Momo, the proud mother and terror to her enemies, fallen and broken was painful to see. Haru knew they couldn't keep all of this up. Seiichi's bills were only stacking up higher and higher and it was becoming completely unmanageable.

He and Momo both had well-paying jobs, but it wasn't enough. One hundred and thirty thousand dollars. Dollars, not yen. That was the cost of the experimental surgery. No matter how you looked at it, it was an exorbitant sum. They had already been working off the hospital stay, but with this... It seemed like an immovable mountain had just appeared in their path.

He let Momo go and turned to sweep up the glass. It looked like he'd have to pull out yet another loan. "Kuso..."

Zemmno: I'd cry if I killed Yukimura off. I'm fine leaving him mentally disabled and in a wheelchair, but I'm not quite mentally prepared to kill him. (no, that wasn't a foreshadow)

GethinPathIsolator: Oh! So that was you! xDD I wouldn't underestimate how mean I am though. Yukimura's future will always be uncertain… (buahahahaha!)

Raku: I would have agreed with you except that I was talking about Maru, Jackal, and Kirihara. Q_Q But yes, he would have forgotten Sanada too. /heartbroken Not really any better. I think since I last really talked to you I've had one heart surgery, two lung surgeries, and about six different medicinal drugs. |D Lots of stuff. Anyways, I have a limiter on my lung surgeries now since I don't have enough lung to sustain me. Just gotta hope the medicine works. If it spread I'll have to try lung transplants but technology is still super behind for those and prognosis wouldn't be too good. _