Chapter Eleven: Mental Patients and a Message

It was familiar. The hourly nurses checking for any changes in his condition; the group therapy he never participated in; the way he woke up throughout the night, disoriented and scared. What was unfamiliar was the guilt. The last time he'd landed himself in a mental hospital, he was certain his actions had been justified. This time, though...

Yuusei... With my own hands, I hurt Yuusei...

Kiryu wanted to destroy the hands that had wielded the knife, but they restrained him when they caught him trying to crush them under heavy furniture and from then on he was under closer supervision.

He was bleeding everywhere and it's all my fault.

His diagnosis of paranoid personality disorder was updated to include bipolar disorder. This meant a round of new pills as the doctors tried to determine what type and dosage would work for him. Kiryu didn't care what they put in him any longer. Whatever pill they handed him, he swallowed without complaint and hoped it would numb him.

"You're going to meet the head doctor today," a nurse told him one morning. "He's taken a special interest in your case."

Kiryu didn't respond. Awhile later, he was escorted to an office on a different floor with plush couches and cityscape paintings. A man in a trenchcoat sat at a desk covered with manila folders. Kiryu thought he looked more like a detective than a psychiatrist, but maybe that was what he needed. Someone to follow the trail through his fucked-up mind to piece together clues and tell him how he could've done something so horrible to the only person he really loved.

The doctor smiled at him, but his eyes weren't warm. "Hello, Kiryu. I'm Dr. Divine and I'm going to help you."

The name rang a bell. "You were at the trial."

"Yes. With your previous record and Placido's testimony, you probably would've ended up in jail if not for me."

"That's where I belong," Kiryu said bitterly.

"You belong here. You're going to get better now- trust me."

Yuusei knew they were just waiting for him to ask to visit Kiryu. In fact, he had called late one night while Jack and Crow were sleeping and was told Kiryu wasn't being permitted visitors yet. But even if that wasn't the case, he wasn't sure he would've gone. Yuusei'd done everything in his power to help Kiryu and it hadn't worked. Kiryu was no better than the day he was first diagnosed. No- he was worse. And that meant Yuusei had been wrong to think he could keep Kiryu together if he tried hard enough and loved him hard enough.

So what do I do now?

He had no idea. He just knew that every breath hurt and that as long as he was supposed to be bedridden, he didn't have to make a decision.

"I heard your mother made quite the commotion the first day of the trial, Kiryu."

Dr. Divine was talking to him, and though his words made Kiryu's stomach lurch, he continued to ignore him. Since their first meeting, he'd spent his time with the doctor staring at the wall and pretending he was a statue sinking through the couch cushions. Divine didn't seem to care that he was unresponsive. He went on with an unprofessional hint of amusement in his voice. "Such a small woman, yet it took three officers to subdue her... How did you feel, seeing her there?"

Kiryu said nothing. He tried to feel nothing. How had he felt that day? He couldn't remember anymore. His mind couldn't stay focused for more than a few seconds on anything besides his guilt before it returned to coat him inside and out with acid.

I didn't meant to hurt you. Did you die? Are you dead? They would tell me if you died, right?

He had to know, so he blurted out, "Did Yuusei die? Did I kill him?"

"You're concerned about your friend?" Divine rested his chin on steepled fingers. "Are you sure you want to know what happened to him?"

The acid froze over and Kiryu shivered. He's dead he's dead I KILLED HIM! He dug his fingers into the couch, hoping and knowing it was absurd to do so that he would find something sharp hidden there. Then he could punish himself for what he did. He deserved twice the pain he'd given Yuusei. Three times, four times.

"Stop it, Kiryu." Divine was in front of him now and he stilled Kiryu's hands. "We were talking about the trial."

"Let go of me," Kiryu shouted, jerking back. He felt so vulnerable in his generic gray clothes and label of psychotic. Maybe he wanted pain, but he wanted to cause it himself.

Divine's phone beeped. He released Kiryu and scanned the screen. "There's an emergency with another patient. We'll continue this session later."

"I want to see Yuusei," Kiryu said.

"That's not possible."

Because he wasn't considered dangerous, Antinomy had been given a roommate, an older guy with extreme anxiety who hid in his bed every time Antinomy tried to strike up a conversation. Group therapy was in the afternoon, his personal sessions with a hot psychiatrist were right after, and other than that he had absolutely nothing to do. The books he'd been provided were boring as hell and the television shows they were allowed to watch weren't much better. Thus, Antinomy spent most of his time playing up his charm to the nurses and trying to convince everyone he was sane and needed to be released. He felt so out of place, because he knew he wasn't crazy. Bruno was the crazy one. So what if he had Dissociative Identity Disorder and apparently turned into some kind of nerdy wimp every so often. It was only a problem because everyone was making it a problem.

He thought his plan was working until he woke up from a blackout one day and found himself in his bed despite the last thing he remembered being playing a board game in the common room. A nurse smiled at him gently. "How are you feeling, Bruno?" he asked.

Antinomy scowled. "I'm not Bruno. Don't call me that."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Antinomy. Your episodes normally last longer than this."

"'Episodes?' What the hell am I, a TV show?" Antinomy said in annoyance.

"No, you are a person with an illness that deserves to be treated with respect and-"

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard the whole spiel already. Just tell me, when can I leave?"

"I know you think you're good to go now, but due to your mental illness you were attacked just two weeks ago. Once we find a combination of medicine that works for you and keeps your disorder under control, you can go, so you'll just need to be patient until then."

Antinomy groaned.

"I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable here," the nurse said. He wrote down something on a clipboard and left, but returned a moment later with a troubled look. "Someone is here to see you, but..."

"It's Placido, right? I'll see him." Antinomy didn't know how he'd avoided getting into trouble himself, since about fifty witnesses knew he'd attacked Antinomy, but maybe almost being killed by that Kiryu person had helped his case. All that money he had must have helped even more.

"Okay, but we'll be supervising the visit."

He was led to a room with a security guard standing in the doorway. Placido was already sitting in a chair, glaring at the guard like he was willing him to disintegrate.

Antinomy leaned against a table that took up too much space in the small room and glared back at Placido. "You tried to kill me, you asshole."

"I didn't lay a finger on you," Placido said. "How much longer are you going to be in this place?"

Antinomy sighed. "Look, Placido. I put up with your shit all the time. You're the most obnoxious person on the planet and I'd be surprised if even you could deny that. And you still tried to kill me because there's a part of me you hate."

"Where are you going with this?" Placido asked.

Antinomy stepped forward and punched Placido hard.

"What the hell!?"

"That's for picking a fight with me when I couldn't defend myself."

Placido rose to retaliate, but the guard stepped in and said, "Okay, okay, visit's over. You're outta here." A sour-looking Placido was taken away. The guard came back and said, "I wish I could turn a blind eye, because between you and me, I think that guy deserved it. But rules are rules. I gotta take you to solitary."

"Can't be any more boring than the rest of this place."

The semester was coming to an end, which meant an influx of papers and study guides, but Jack, Crow, and Yuusei let themselves fall behind. Yuusei spent all his time at Jack's apartment on medical leave, and Jack and Crow commuted back and forth, getting to all the classes they could manage and picking up homework for Yuusei to ignore.

"He's got to get out of bed," Jack muttered. He and Crow were sitting in his apartment's kitchen, facing the open door of the guest bedroom. Yuusei was fast asleep, immobile under a heap of covers.

"Just let him be," Crow said. "He needs to recover."

"He won't recover by laying there and feeling sorry for himself! I told him, I fucking told him something like this would happen."

"Well, congratulations, you were right!" Crow snapped. "But that doesn't help anyone now." His shoulders drooped. "What are we gonna do, Jack? They might keep Kiryu locked up for good this time. And if that happens, Yuusei will never be the same."

"I know. Kiryu's never going to be the same either."

They were both quiet. Then Crow said, "You're thinking about what happened at the trial too, aren't you?"

Jack nodded. "I never realized how lucky we were to have Martha before that," he admitted.

"All those times Kiryu showed up at the orphanage with all those bruises and cuts... I just thought he got into a lot of fights. But his own mother..." Crow's mouth curled in disgust. "Anyway, that finally explains why he tried to kill the debt collector. You get it, don't you?"

"Yeah. He was trying to protect us," Jack said quietly.

"He didn't want Martha to be upset and take her anger out on us, because that's what he always saw happen to himself," Crow sighed.

"It was dumb of him to think Martha would ever hurt us."

"He didn't know better. He really... he's never fully lived in reality, huh?"

A shuffling noise caught their attention. They turned to see Yuusei emerging from the bedroom, an arm wrapped around his abdomen protectively. "I need to see..."

Jack closed his eyes. Here it came, Yuusei begging to see the person who almost killed him.

"...Antinomy."

Jack and Crow gave Yuusei identical quizzical looks that he pretended not to notice. Crow coughed. "Do you feel up to going?"

"Yeah. If I don't walk too much, I think it'll be fine."

"I guess we can go then. You coming too, Jack?"

Jack narrowed his eyes and said he was. After all, who else was going to keep Yuusei from slipping off to see Kiryu the second he thought their backs were turned?

Since neither Jack nor Crow were friends with Antinomy, they awkwardly hung back as Yuusei sat with him in the general visiting room. Jack looked around at the various patients and their visitors, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. Eventually he had to excuse himself. With all the security guards around, Jack doubted Yuusei would be able to get to Kiryu if that was his true intention.

He went to the lobby and distracted himself by reading the flyers hung on the walls. His eyes slid from a paper on a local support group for anxiety disorders to a strange-looking person visible through the window. Jack immediately recognized Placido from the trial. He could still hear his scathing voice as he demanded Kiryu be locked away. Kiryu's lawyer brought up the events that happened before Kiryu arrived on the scene- namely, that Placido had started the entire fight by attacking Antinomy- but somehow that was never mentioned again.

And Kazama had told Jack why.

His fists clenched as he watched Placido pace back and forth on the sidewalk across the street. Jack was furious that just because he had money to toss around, he'd been able to get himself out of trouble. And then he had to nerve to show up near the building where the person he'd attacked was living! People born with money were truly despicable.

Jack was out the door and storming towards Placido before he knew what he was doing. "What are you doing here?" he snarled.

Placido glanced at him with disdain. "Get out of my sight. I don't have time to talk to you."

Jack noticed what looked like a black eye forming on Placido's face and was tempted to give him a matching one. "You better not be here to visit Antinomy."

"If I am, it's none of your business," Placido said. "Actually, I already saw him."

"And I bet he didn't want to see you. Now get out of here." Jack raised a fist.

"Are you threatening me?" Placido laughed. "Of course he wanted to see him. Don't presume to know anything about our relationship."

"You have no right to use that word for you two! You don't try to kill the person you're in a relationship with, you bastard." Why was this such a hard concept for the people around him to grasp!?

"No one asked you, bastard." A taxi rolled to a stop at the curb. "Looks like my ride is here." Placido got in and, before slamming the door shut, he said, "If you ever talk to me again, I'll make you regret it."

Jack was seething and he had nothing to punch to make himself feel better. He realized he'd been gone for awhile so he took a deep breath and made his way back to the visiting room. It looked like Yuusei and Antinomy were wrapping their visit up.

Antinomy said, "I hope you feel better soon. Thanks for visiting, by the way. I didn't think I'd get any pleasant visitors while I was here."

"No need to thank me," Yuusei said. "We're friends, right?"

Antinomy smiled. "Definitely. I already owe you for saving my- Bruno's, whatever- life."

"Don't worry about it." Yuusei started to stand.

"Aren't you gonna visit- oh, I guess that wouldn't be allowed right now," Antinomy said.

Yuusei visibly stiffened. "What?"

"I figured you'd want to see Kiryu while you were here, but third-floor patients aren't allowed visitors. Sorry." He shrugged. "I don't know if this is a hospital or a prison sometimes."

"If you... If you see Kiryu, will you tell him something?" Yuusei asked.

"Sure."

"Tell him... that I miss him."

"No problem. See ya, Yuusei."

Antinomy finally saw Kiryu three days later. They ended up in the same group therapy session, where Kiryu spent the entire time clutching the edges of his seat and darting looks at a patient across the circle. When it was his turn to talk, he just shook his head and started staring openly at the other patient. He looked so troubled that Antinomy felt bad for him and managed to divert the attention of the doctor leading the talk.

Since he figured it could be awhile before he bumped into Kiryu again, after the session ended Antinomy nabbed the now-empty chair beside him. "Hey Kiryu, I'm Antinomy." For a moment he didn't think he was going to get a response. But then the patient that had captivated Kiryu all afternoon left the room and Kiryu let out a breath.

"He wants to kill me," Kiryu said.

Antinomy rubbed the back of his neck. Getting a message to Kiryu wasn't going to be as easy as he thought if he was in the middle of a delusion. Still, he was going to try. "Your friend came by to see me- Fudou Yuusei."

Kiryu's head snapped around. "Yuusei? But- but I killed Yuusei!"

"No, you didn't. You hurt him pretty bad, yeah, but he's going to be fine. He wanted me to tell you that he misses you."

"You're a liar, he's dead!" Kiryu lunged at him. Antinomy jumped out of the way, knocking over a chair in the process. Guards rushed over to subdued Kiryu.

"You're all lying to me!" he howled. It took a tranquilizer to get him to stop struggling.

When Kiryu was gone, Antinomy set the chair back upright and straightened his clothes. That didn't go well at all.

He's scary.

A soft voice nudged the edges of Antinomy's subconscious. He closed his eyes and tried to force Bruno away.

This is my mind. My mind.

A/N: This was fastest update yet, I think! You can all thank my girlfriend for encouraging me to hurry up and get Part Two started. I got some great reactions after the last chapter, so I'm glad my cliffhanger made an impact~

Also, I've realized basically every couple in this story is Jack's NOTP. Poor King.