Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story
Next school day…
"First day of school! How are you feeling?" (Konan)
"Do I have to answer that?" (Sasori)
"No, because no matter what you say I'll just assume you said excited." (Konan)
"I hate you." (Sasori)
"Love you too. Now go get them!" (Konan)
"No." (Sasori)
"Sasori." (Konan)
"Fine. Yes Konan, I'll act like a preppy stuck up bitch to entertain you for now. I'm so excited about going to this hell known as a school! I'm probably going to beat up half the male population by the end of the day! Oh, it's going to be so much fun! Happy now?" (Sasori)
"Yes. Now go forth, and venture into the world of education!" (Konan)
Sasori glared at Konan once more before stalking out the door. A few minutes later, Deidara and Tobi came to join him.
"Where is the school, un?" (Deidara)
"We get a school bus." (Sasori)
"From where?" (Deidara)
"I don't know." (Sasori)
"Tobi knows! The bus stops by that big tree!" (Tobi)
"Then why aren't we there?" (Sasori)
"Sorry, I'll take you there, because Tobi is a very good boy!" (Tobi)
"Isn't that the bus, un?" (Deidara)
Indeed, the yellow bus was pulling up to the stop. Panicking slightly, the three boys ran all the way to the tree, practically throwing themselves into the vehicle once they reached it.
"The fuck are you doing back here?" (Hidan)
"Hello to you too, Hidan." (Sasori)
Tobi slid into the seat in front of Hidan's, while Sasori pulled himself and Deidara into the seat next to Hidan's.
"Who's the bitch?" (Hidan)
"I'm a guy." (Deidara)
"Shit, you look like a chick." (Hidan)
"So?" (Deidara)
"Hidan, this is Deidara. Deidara, this is Hidan." (Sasori)
"Pleasure, bitch. Anyhow, puppet fucker. Why are you back here? Didn't think you liked it here." (Hidan)
"Me and Konan are staying with Zetsu while we wait for the police investigation to blow over." (Sasori)
"Police? What shit did you do this time?" (Hidan)
"We kidnapped Deidara." (Sasori)
"Don't look like you kidnapped him, he ain't fighting." (Hidan)
"Wait, you kidnapped me? Since when?" (Deidara)
"Brat, I've told you this before. You count as a minor, so even though you willingly came with us, it still counts as kidnapping." (Sasori)
"Oh, okay then." (Deidara)
"Deidara-Senpai, look, look! It's the school!" (Tobi)
The school was a miserable sight to behold. Dark storm clouds surrounded it, high iron-wrought gates, tall walls covered in ivy…Yeah, no. It was a plain gray building with a separate brick gym set off to its right. Fairly nondescript and unthreatening.
"Well, that's…" (Deidara)
"Disappointing? Yeah, it could at least look like a fucking hell hole, but no, it has to disguise itself as a normal school. Bah! Jashin shall smite it!" (Hidan)
Deidara opened his mouth to ask what or who Jashin is, only to have Sasori clamp a hand over his lower face.
"If you value your sanity, do not ask him." (Sasori)
He mutely nodded, and Sasori released him.
"I'll explain it later." (Sasori)
"You always say that, un." (Deidara)
"Welcome to our school!" (Teacher)
"I've been here before." (Sasori)
"Oh, then welcome back to our school!" (Teacher)
"It's my first time here, un." (Deidara)
"Why don't you introduce yourselves to the class?" (Teacher)
"I'm Sasori. Don't talk to me." (Sasori)
"I'm Deidara, and no, I'm not a girl, yes I'm gay. If you have a problem with that, I don't care." (Deidara)
"Um, you two can sit by…" (Teacher)
"The bitches are sitting by me." (Hidan)
"But-" (Teacher)
Too late. The two boys had already settled themselves in the seats by Hidan, and were staring expectantly at the teacher. Embarrassed, she cleared her throat before beginning her lesson.
"Open your books to page 97, please." (Teacher)
"Hey, welcome back." (Konan)
"Bitch, why didn't you tell me you were here?" (Hidan)
"Hi Hidan. I told Kakuzu, he must've forgotten to tell you." (Konan)
"Or the bastard didn't tell me. What's up?" (Hidan)
"Not much. How'd school go?" (Konan)
"Puppet fucker beat up about five or so bastards for hitting on his bitch." (Hidan)
"I'm not a bitch, un!" (Deidara)
"What the fuck ever." (Sasori)
"Hidan. You continue to insult Deidara, and it'll be you I'm hurting next." (Sasori)
"Ooh, touchy. Chill, I'm just having some fun." (Hidan)
"Where'd Tobi go?" (Konan)
"To piss off Zetsu." (Sasori)
"Fuck. I'd better go stop him." (Konan)
"Bye Konan!" (Sasori)
"You're still pissed that I sent you to school, aren't you?" (Konan)
"Yup!" (Sasori)
"Stupid little brothers." (Konan)
"Annoying older sisters." (Deidara)
"I feel incredibly left out now." (Hidan)
"You and me both, blondie. You and me both." (Hidan)
"We can hear you talking about us, you know." (Sasori)
"Yeah, we know. We just don't give a shit. Am I right, or am I right?" (Hidan)
"You're left, un." (Deidara)
"Damn you." (Hidan)
"No. Damn you. I damn you to heaven!" (Sasori)
"I fucking hate you." (Deidara)
"Ne, Sasori no Danna?" (Deidara)
"Yes?" (Sasori)
"What or Who is Jashin?" (Deidara)
"Hidan's god. Apparently he encourages destruction and self-mutilation." (Sasori)
"Okay then." (Deidara)
Silence fell over them again, covering them like a blanket.
"Ne, Sasori no Danna?" (Deidara)
"Yes?" (Sasori)
"Why are we in Konan's bed again?" (Deidara)
"Because I don't trust Tobi." (Sasori)
"What does that have anything to do with where we sleep, un?" (Deidara)
"Tobi might try stealing you away while we sleep." (Sasori)
"He wouldn't…Would he?" (Deidara)
"He would. But since we're in the same bed, he can't take you without waking me. Thus, it's safer for you if we share a bed, and ours are too small, hence we have stolen Konan's bed." (Sasori)
"That doesn't make any sense to me. Oh well, I'm not complaining." (Deidara)
Deidara pressed closer to Sasori, yawning as he rubbed his face against the elders arm.
"Deidara?" (Sasori)
"Yes Sasori no Danna?" (Deidara)
"You're-You're not going to leave me, right?" (Sasori)
"Never, un." (Deidara)
"Good." (Sasori)
"Well well well, look what we have here." (Hidan)
"Go away Hidan." (Sasori)
"Fuck no. What you bitches doing in bed so early?" (Hidan)
"It's ten at night." (Sasori)
"So? We gotta party!" (Hidan)
"No." (Sasori)
"Damn cocksuckers." (Hidan)
"Hidan?" (Deidara)
"Yes, oh blonde one?" (Hidan)
"Why do Konan and Pein hate each other?" (Deidara)
"That is a long story." (Hidan)
"I want to know." (Deidara)
"Okay then. But Imma tell you what Kuzu told me, so don't believe everything for real. He might have lied to me, wouldn't have been the first time.
"Anyhow. So in high school, Kuzu, Zetsu, Pein and Konan were all friends. They were the weird group at school, like we are here. And Konan had a crush on this popular boy, since freshmen year. Now you know prom, right? Well, Junior year prom, they all went together, and they got huge amounts of crap for that, but they didn't really care. Except Konan, cause she didn't have friends to stick up for her in the bathrooms and the locker rooms, so she got the worst of it.
"Somehow, someone found out about her crush on this guy, and a dastardly plan was hatched. Basically, he asked her to Senior year prom, and convinced her they should try out for prom queen and king. They won, then when they went up to accept the award, he turned to her, called her a slut, and poured his drink on her in front of the entire school. She was traumatised or something. Ran away from the place crying. Zetsu and Kuzu went after her, Pein had vanished. He'd been pissed that Konan was going with the guy and not them, so he'd stalked off somewhere and they couldn't find him.
"But apparently he'd been near the front and seen the entire thing. Next day, at lunch, Zetsu, Konan and Kuzu were in the cafeteria, trying to ignore the others. Then Pein comes up. He looks at Konan, says : You deserved it, bitch, and slaps her so hard she hits the floor. Then he just leaves, never talks to her again.
"And that is why Konan hates him. Don't know why he hates her. Kuzu thinks maybe he had a crush on her and felt betrayed, but he never told anyone, so we'll never know." (Hidan)
"Can I kill him?" (Sasori)
"No Danna, killing is not the solution. Torture is." (Deidara)
"I like your style." (Hidan)
"Back off." (Sasori)
"Chill, I ain't hitting on your bitch." (Hidan)
"I'm not a bitch, un!" (Deidara)
"You look like one." (Hidan)
"I will bite you." (Deidara)
"Yeah right." (Hidan)
Chomp. Chew, chew.
"Holy mother of fuck! That shit hurts like a bitch!" (Hidan)
"Can't say I didn't warn you, un." (Deidara)
This should not have taken so long. I'm sorry! In my defence, I was in Turkey, and then my parents had me running around doing all this shit on them, because I'd obviously come back from some luxury vacation and not a hiking trip through deep snow. Of course not. Grr. Evil. And yes, Deidara is getting a lot more confident (feisty). Sasori is teaching him well. My hand hurts now. I was more than halfway through with adding in the names of the speakers, then I realised: I have copy and paste. Damn I feel like an idiot now. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!