A/N: Don't hate me too much. Thank you for all of your reviews, they're wonderful! Like I said, please don't hate me. There's got to be some ups and down or else the fiction would just be boring. (: P.S. Sorry, I know this chapter is kind of shaky. It was a hard one to write.

Barney loved Robin. Barney was going to marry Cassidy. Those were the two things that he knew for sure.

"Hello." Said the wonderful voice on the other end of the phone he had held against his ear.

"Roof in the morning, after Ted leaves for work?" They didn't have to go to the roof when Ted was at work, but they wanted to. It had become their place. It held such wonderful and horrible memories.

"Yeah." She said, trying not to sound as eager as she felt.

He was going to hurt her so bad.

-xxx-

If a hug could be described as intimate, then that would be way that Robin greeted Barney. They hadn't spoken, except to arrange this meeting since their kiss two nights ago.

"Hey." He said as his hand landed instinctively on the small of her back.

"I missed you." She said smiling like a silly school girl with a crush.

"I missed you too." He said, wishing that he could change the past and the present and everything else that made him this awful person and friend. He hated seeing her vulnerability, because he knew that he had a lot to do with creating it, and he hated himself for using it to his advantage. "I think we should have a talk."

"Barney. No." He hated the look she had in her eye. It was not like Robin to be scared of anything that wasn't a marriage proposal.

"Robin, just listen to me."

"I know what you're going to say and you're wrong. The kiss was not a big deal. We can just forget that it never happened, okay?"

"That's just it, we can't. We're always going to have to be controlling ourselves around each other. This friendship, it was a bad idea."

"Stop." She said, grabbing his hand. "Please stop saying that." Of course she had to start crying, because that was the one thing that Barney couldn't handle.

"Stop crying." He said it as order rather than in the kind of comforting tone that would have soothed her. It only made her cry harder.

"I have to go." He said, turning away, because that's what he did. He created a mess of perfectly happy, independent women and then he walked away.

"You can't just go." She said. She didn't sound sad or hurt or in pain, she sounded mad.

"Why not? What do I owe you?"

"You owe me." She said angrily. "You owe me my fucking life. I want my life back, Barney."

"You're the one that's screwed up, Robin, okay, and you're pulling me into your sick little life again, and that's not where I need to be right now. You want your life back? Get it back yourself because I'm done with you. You're not my problem, okay?"

"Then why did you have to come back? I was starting to move on. Do you know how hard that was for me?"

"It's really not my problem, Robin." He repeated.

"How can you say that? How can you say that after all that we've been through that I'm not your problem?"

"Because you're not, okay? I'm getting married to the woman that I love, and you're just… you're just my ex-girlfriend that I made a couple mistakes with."

"Why are you being such a dick?" She had managed to get her tears under control. She didn't want to cry anymore. Now she wanted to yell.

"Because, Robin, I… I hate you."

"You hate me?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I really do."

She pretended like her heart didn't break in half, but the truth was that it did. Those words broke her.

She wished that she had something to throw at him, but she didn't so she just turned away. "Then go." She said, looking down at the city, remembering that infamous day. Jumping. Dying. They seemed like beautiful things as his words rung in her head. He hated her. Barney said that he hated her. He must have put the pieces together, because his anger quickly turned to concern.

"Why don't you come down too?"

"Why don't you not worry about it?" She snapped, turning back around. "I'm not your problem, so you don't have to worry about it."

"Why does everything have to be a fight with you, Robin?"

"I just want you to go." She said, closing her eyes. "I need you to go."

He knew that he should have stayed there with her. He knew how fragile she was, but he made himself not care about it. He told himself that he didn't care about her. He left her in a state that she had never been in. He left her alone with her crazy sober thoughts.

-xxx-

Robin had torn the medicine cabinet apart. Why was it so hard to find the proper medication that would cure that thing called "breathing?" Robin had lived with it for so many years, but now she just had to get rid of it. She couldn't blame Barney for hating her. Hell, she kind of hated herself after what she and Lily done to try and break up his marriage, but not he was saying it, and he said with such venom and anger, and she couldn't take him hating her, because his love for her, no matter how far away it was, was the reason that she was able to make it through the days.

Without that where would she be?

-xxx-

"Barney." Ted said, excitedly. "I didn't except to see you here. Where's Cassidy."

Barney shrugged. "I thought that you were at work."

"No. I had a teeth whitening appointment. What are you doing here? And why are you drinking at ten in the morning?"

"Because." Barney said, not looking up from his drink. "I need it."

"That's all you're going to give me?"

"How can someone love someone so… unlovable?"

"Cassidy?"

She scoffed. "I wish that she was the problem. It's Robin. Why is she so impossible?"

"You didn't talk to her, did you? Damn it Barney, she was a real mess after you guys stopped being friends. You have to just leave her alone."

"We did so much more than talk. We had secret meetings. All the time. Why do you think she was doing so much better? We were practically together again. Then we kissed and it just ruined everything, because we couldn't pretend anymore after that. We couldn't pretend like we didn't love each other."

"Barney, how could you do this to her?"

"Why is it all about her? I'm hurt too, and all you guys seem to care about is how Robin feels about it? Well if any of you care I feel awful, and I don't want to be without her, but I just can't be in that kind of a relationship."

"You mean one where you love and are loved?"

"You don't understand how much she loves me though, Ted. What if I do something stupid and mess up and hurt her and myself?"

"You're absolutely ridiculous if you think that you're not hurting her right now."

"Speaking of that… she's home alone."

Ted sighed. "Are you going to be okay?"

Barney nodded. "Yeah, make sure that she is too, and tell her that she's great. I know I should have told her, I just… couldn't. Maybe now she hates me we can put this all behind us."

"But you don't hate her?"

"Of course I don't hate her. Look at her, smell her. How could anyone hate her?"

"Smell her?"

"She smells like flowers, Ted!" He sighed, "But really, I'm worried about her. You should make sure she's okay."

Ted loved Robin, really he did, but it was like he was taking care of a small child. She could never be left alone, and he was always worried about what crazy, stupid things she would do next.

Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw when he opened the bathroom door. "Robin, are you in here?"

She was in there alright. There was an empty bottle of opened pills beside her and she looked like she was sleeping. She looked so peaceful that Ted almost didn't panic.

"Robin!" He said, falling down beside her.

All he could think was: this can't be happening.