A/N: I have no idea what I was doing with the Quidditch bit. Forgive me. I don't like sports... but I love writing James. And Rowling herself has stated that James was actually a Chaser, not a Seeker, so if anyone's wondering...

It's the first semester of their seventh year in Hogwarts (that would make it autumn 1977). I don't think I've ever mentioned that... And according to my sources, Sirius' 18th birthday is in autumn 1977 – Remus turns 18 on March 10th the following year? Correct me if I'm wrong. I wanted to clear that up since I've been kind of ambiguous about their ages... and uh, basically the whole time of year. Derp.

THANK YOU for your reviews and alerts. You're awesome. xx

Disclaimer: The Marauders are not mine. Neither is any other four-membered group mentioned below, or any affiliations to one.

Beta: No beta.

In retrospect James said the game was a total disaster.

The well-known Quidditch expert Kennilworthy Whisp might have disagreed by saying that to be qualified as disastrous, a Quidditch game had to be consisted of at least one attempted decapitation by a sword, but of course Potter didn't give a rat's arse about some dead author's opinions.

The arse not given wasn't Peter's.

Remus' knowledge of the game was rather limited, to be honest, and in fact he didn't care to know it any better than he already did. His opinion about the particular game had been somewhat similar to James', however, when he had seen the aforementioned Gryffindor house team captain lunging right towards the stand in which Sirius and he were sitting. It was not his life that had flashed before Remus' eyes, but James.

Had James lost the last of his marbles or was he just joyriding, Remus didn't know.

Sirius hadn't seen the flying idiot coming at their general direction until the bloke crashed into the stand and caused a loud ruckus by doing so; Black had been too busy drooling at the yapping, bored-to-death geek next to him, and had cordially opted not to pay any attention on his surroundings. Lupin had talked, like a lot, and none of it had been about Quidditch.

Pettigrew, who had sat with the werewolf and the crazy person slobbering their seats, actually knew a thing or two about Quidditch, but at that very moment he only had been trying to concentrate keeping his pants dry. Happy to remark later, he had been greatly successful.

During the game Lily was nowhere to be seen, and later James reasoned she had probably been sitting with Snape and had been invisible because of Snivellus' enormous nose.

But Evans or no Evans, Potter had tried to concentrate on the Quaffle.

Being the team captain, he had felt almost obligated to show everyone how incredibly talented he was on a broom.

He had just been about to make a snazzy Reverse Pass, when the Gryffindor Seeker had plunged towards the flickering 150 points right in front of him. Thanks to his quick reflexes, however, James had skilfully swerved the focused Seeker, but at that same second a well-aimed Bludger had flown right at him, smashing his broom and sending him into an acute downward spiral; the Quaffle still in his hands James had been able to balance the damned broom enough to collide into one of the Ravenclaw's idiotic Chasers as a revenge, for they had been swarming around him like a horde of hungry Cockatrices. Naturally, his sport goggles had shattered. Then, he had thrown the Quaffle haphazardly to his fellow team member, and before having even noticed what the hell was going on, he had crashed straight into the Gryffindor stand – this had resulted in a broken leg and a minor brain injury (Potter), and minimal casualties (none).

Oh, and the Gryffindor Seeker caught the Snitch.

Gryffindor won with 290 points, and James won a special date with Madame Pomfrey.

James was lying on a hospital bed with his back propped against a few pillows, and his left leg hoisted up on a strange, wonky support device, when his three friends came to visit him right after the interesting game (the Snitch had been caught within minutes from James' little mishap). The teachers had been able to revive all the fainted first years on the field, therefore Potter was the only patient in the hospital wing at that moment. Madame Pomfrey had been rather pleased about this, for mending James Potter alone was something that took enough of her limited energy.

As his friends neared the bed, Potter leered and pointed a finger at Remus and Sirius. He was still in his Quidditch attire, but without any glasses. He was holding a damp towel on his head when he giggled, "Oh look, it's Tweedledee and Tweedledumb!" His smirk died as he noticed Peter behind them. "And Pete."

"See, you were absolutely right earlier, James; I am in the hospital wing!" Sirius grinned at him, and sat on the bed. "And it's not dumb, it's dum. Even I know that."

"How are you feeling?" Remus asked as he studied James' humongous head covered in bandages. He gave the boy his normal glasses and moved to stand next to Sirius, keeping his eyes on James.

Potter smiled hazily at them as he put his goggles on. "I'm brilliant." As he was done with the glasses, he finally was able to fix his eyes on his friends... to some extent. "But you two... I feel like I can finally say it out loud. The blow cleared my mind, thank you Bludger, as I can now see how you two are as duuuumb as two blockheads can be!"

"How so?" Black muttered and crossed his arms. "What are you talking about."

Potter shook his head carefully. "What, he asks..." He flailed his hands towards the two boys. "That thing, it's right there! That, I mean, it's that; please, do something about it, or it's not going to be there. Because if you let that vanish, you're just a pair of brainless, blind puppies." He stared at them, and then spluttered, "No, you're worse than that, you're a pair of... pind bluppies." He found his own joke hilarious, and started snickering. "Haha!"

Remus bit his lip and glanced carefully at Sirius' hair. "James, are you sure you're all right?"

In front of him, Sirius was intently ogling at James. He asked flatly, "Did he call us puppies?"

"Yes, very much so, Mister Moony... Moon," James answered Remus, ignoring Sirius completely. He smirked annoyingly at the werewolf, who seemed very terrified. "I am very happy. I saw flowers just now, they were very pretty. And you are too! Happy, I mean," he corrected quickly, but then thought about something. "But I guess you're pretty as well. Or... that's what I've heard, at least, many times. Happiness, now that I can see!" He pointed a finger at Remus. "It's floating about you like a cloud."

"You're blabbering." Lupin frowned at him, and glanced around the room as if to locate the matron. "That's usually not a good sign." His eyes found James' dazed face again. "Did Madame Pomfrey give you medication for your head?"

"Apparently yes," James started very maturely, nodding in a careful manner. "I hit my head, that very same head you mentioned Moony, pretty badly indeed, so she gave me... I don't know, everything?" His serious face turned into a happy grin, and he gestured towards his splint. "She medicated me properly. See, all my three legs. My three... sealegs! Hah!"

Remus took another glimpse at Sirius, who was just gawking at his best friend. Black muttered, "He's high?"

"I sincerely hope so," Remus breathed back.

Potter stopped laughing and with a newly-found seriousness he inquired, "Where's Lily, Moony?" But then he snickered at himself again, sweeping a finger under his eye as if he was crying. He was a total mess. "Lilymoony – a flower that blossoms only during full moon. A hairy flower." He turned to Peter. "I bet you'd love it."

Shaking his head, Remus told him, "I don't know where she is."

"Fetch her," James ordered solemnly and waved his hand at him. "Go on, don't just stand there! Her hair is like liquid lava, and I need to tell her that. It's dangerous to have lava in one's head. She has to stay alive so I can marry her. I must save her from Snivellus' nose."

Sirius hid in his hands. "Granted it's quite hideous, but what would Snivellus' nose do to her, exactly?"

"You're so stupid." James smiled affectionately at him, patting the bed next to Sirius' knees. "But it's okay. I still love you... And I'm not the only one."

Black missed the meaningful look Remus gave Potter, and uttered, "And you're babbling nonsense in the infirmary, so there. I win."

"You might have won the infirmary this time, but I'm here because I flew splend...iblibly." He leaned into Peter again, whispering, "I might get a golden cup, with my brilliant name on it. Tell them I said so."

Not quite understanding, Peter asked him, "Tell who?"

James tapped his nose with a finger.

The werewolf shifted a bit closer to Sirius, and while not even looking at James (for he was suddenly extremely busy staring at something else), he asked, "Don't you mean splendidly?"

As he lowered the towel from his forehead to his lap, Potter nodded at him. "That's what I said, splendidebdibly."

Sirius rubbed his face tiredly and looked up at Lupin, who was already watching him back. No – not watching. Staring. Sirius didn't understand that, however, and just lowered his voice, asking, "Can I maybe smack this out of him?"

"You could try." Remus smiled warmly at him, gently nudging his shoulder. "But that might not do much good."

"I would feel better," Sirius told him.

Suddenly Pettigrew laughed at something on the other side of the bed – might have been James picking his nose – and tried not to choke on his mouthful of sweets. He didn't, however, and it was already the second time during that day he succeeded on something.

Sirius stopped staring at Lupin, and turned back to James who was grinning at Peter. He patted the boy's right leg. "Okay, so how soon can Poppy fix you? We want throw a party. You know, like you foresaw yesterday after Divination."

"A party? For me? Can we have dapple lumplings?" Potter giggled and carefully shook his head. "I mean, lumple dapplings?"

Almost as if Remus was unaware of his surroundings – and he most likely was, but if someone would ask him about it, he would pretend not to even know what they were talking about – he was now gazing at Sirius' exposed neck when he suggested, "Apple dumplings?"

Again, Black looked up at him, and flashed a wide smile.

"Yes! Crapple dumpkins! And stop philandering in front of me," Potter said to them, and suddenly turned his head Peter. Regardless of the fact that he was suffering from a concussion, the said head seemed to function perfectly painlessly. "What's you got there, Pete?"

"There's no philandering," Lupin remarked sluggishly, but no one took him seriously.

Peter mumbled with his mouth full, "Sheets."

"Any lava-flavoured?"

As Peter had shrugged at him, and handed the bag to the patient, James rummaged through the contents. He did that for a while, the three others just staring at him (including Remus, honestly) in case he was slowly recuperating; and with James' "What kind of that is what you're eating now?" which was addressed to Peter, all three of them sighed, relieved.

"Blue," Pettigrew mumbled once he had managed to empty his mouth.

The boy lying in the bed grinned lazily, and said, "That's nice, I'm going to have one of those. Blue's my favourite flavour."

At once Remus let go off Sirius' robes, and turned around. "Madame Pomfrey!"

A few hours later, Lily determinedly marched up to James, who was sitting on a common room window sill. Stopping straight in front of him, and turning 180 degrees on her heels, she slumped down next to him, puffing. Not dramatic at all.

"I can't believe this," she muttered and brought her arms to her chest, crossing them in a heated manner, evidently expecting James to ask her what the hell was wrong.

So James did. "Who?"

She turned her blazing eyes to him and pursed her lips. "Are you still high or just incredibly stupid?"

"I assure you, I am not high." Potter tilted his head a bit, thumbing lazy circles on his temple. "Anymore; and if I was high, that was not something I chose to be. It was thrusted upon me, just as my brilliancy was." But as Lily said nothing, he glanced at her. "How did you know about that anyway?"

"Remus told me," Lily said instantly, staring at someone else. Anyone else but James.

"Of course he did," James groaned beside her, and left his temple alone. He proceeded on cleaning his goggles on his shirt hem. "Because you girlfriends tell each other everything, right?"

Evans ignored him – this made James feel as though everything was back to normal; she hadn't noticed him earlier, either – and just kept ogling at Sirius and Remus, with a pout on her face. The boys were sitting rather closely on a sofa on the other side of the room, and it appeared that they didn't notice anyone else; not even though the common room was filled with loud, celebrating Gryffindors, and everyone who was old enough to be drinking, was probably drunk, making them even louder. Lily grumped, "Look at them. They're just sitting there."

The boy peered at the same direction. "Who?"

She smacked him lightly in the shoulder and gestured towards the two boys. "Idiot, you know who. See?" Her hand was doing an amazing series of very animated moves in front of them. "Absolutely nothing is happening between them. Nothing! Infuriating!"

"Not true," Potter simply said, and put his glasses on. "The nothing part, I mean. To my knowledge, they've talked like that the entire day. They've been getting kind of touchy-feely, too, which is awfully distracting." He made a face at her once she was watching. And then he added, as if it was the most important part, "And they giggle."

Lily frowned. "Are you certain?"

"Yeah." James turned his eyes on the boys. "They've spent practically every waking second together, since they woke up in the same bed this morning. If I didn't know better, I'd say they're conjoined." He squinted a bit. "I'm actually starting to see a resemblance between them. Remus is starting to look like a girl."

Mulling the news over, Lily stared at him. "The same bed?"

His eyes found hers. "Apparently, Sirius had carried him to the dormitory, and had fallen asleep on top of him. I don't know how that was possible, and I'm sure I don't want to know."

Evans turned her eyes back to look at the boys. She brought her hand over her mouth, tapping her lower lip with a finger. "I wonder why he didn't tell me that."

"I wouldn't have known it either, except that I happened to witness the whole drool-drenched waking up episode. Anyone in their right mind would've been mad at Lupin, waking up in his drool. But not Sirius. He was... thrilled, which is very disturbing," James mumbled as he fiddled with his tie. He glanced at Lily again. "You know, not Pete-disturbing, but unsettling enough."

They watched as the boys laughed at Peter who was doing an impersonation of a chicken on fire in front of them.

"Huh. Maybe they should continue that instead of sitting on that couch," the girl pondered. She poked James with a finger. "They should be doing something else."

Potter grimaced. "Please don't torture me in this fashion, Lily." He grabbed his head and feigned a moan. "I'm still very, very frail."

"No, you're not," Lily noted plainly and crossed her legs. She threw her hair over her shoulder and eyed James. "I mean, it's like they're not even trying to move forward. It shouldn't be that hard – Black being how he is – but they're like two ninnies in love. I thought because of the system they'd be ravishing each other already, but no. Nothing's happening. Remus is too thick."

James' eye twitched because of the way Lily kept talking about his two best friends. He coughed. "So... what? You want to lock them in a loo?"

"We should definitely do something about this."

"Like what?" Potter asked her, gesturing between them. "We are already doing something."

"Yes, but it's not going as planned, is it?" she asked, staring at him. "He's in this, he... he's ready for this, but he's not doing anything. He was supposed to tell Black something new about himself during the Quidditch match today, as I told him to, but he didn't. He said to me afterwards that he wasn't ever aware that Gryffindor was leading until we won, because he had something else on his mind. That means he's smitten, doesn't it? It mean's he's –"

"No," James interrupted indignantly. "That means they didn't even pay attention when I almost died. That's what it means." He scowled at his mates. "Bastards."

"You barely hit your head, Potter," Lily remarked and briefly touched his hand. "Focus. As I talked to him about this, Remus also said to me that he doesn't have to tell Black anything, because the bloke already seems to know everything about him."

"So Sirius is a stalker. I reckon that's not news to anyone. What's the problem?"

Evans snorted. "Are you blind?"

"No, short-sighted."

Ignoring his comment, she pushed on, moving to the edge of the sill and closer to James. "The plan's not really taking effect. They're stuck."

"I give you that." James nodded, agreeing. "Been mates with them seven years now, so I know where you're coming from." As the girl only watched him, he cleared his throat, and continued. "So what do you have in mind?"

Now she smiled. "I say, we press Remus towards the next step. Force him to do something about this matter, like put them in a situation where he hasn't an escape route from his feelings."

"You mean like threaten him with a wand and say, 'Confess, you horndog, or I'll turn you into a toad'?" James flashed her a wide grin, but Lily merely stared at him. James saw her jaw clench slightly, so he resumed with, "Yeah, no... the toad threat doesn't really work on him. I tried that once; he wasn't fond of it, I assume, for he said that if I open my mouth again, there'll be nothing but slugs coming out."

"Figures."

"Okay, so what then?"

The girl smirked as she glanced at the boys once again. "I think I have a plan."

Returning from James' ear (a very red ear, one might add), Lily got up from the windowsill, took a few steps forward, and cleared her throat cordially at the people in the common room. As she thought they heard her, she started, "Gryffindors, if you would please turn your ears to me."

Naturally no one heard her. She looked questioningly at James, who only shrugged at her.

She tried again. "Lions, would you please listen to me?"

Nothing.

Wanting to be the knight in shining armour, James stood up, pointed his wand at his throat and muttered, "Sonorus." A second later his magnified voice roared, "THE HEAD CASE WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING."

Immediately everyone fell quiet and turned their curious heads to them.

Lily stared at Potter, too, but infuriated again. That much was expected.

The boy continued with his extremely loud voice, "SORRY, MEANT TO SAY THE HEAD GIRL! YEAH, I'M THE HEAD CASE, OBVIOUSLY, NOT HER, SHE'S THE HEAD GIRL, A BRILLIANT ONE AT THAT –"

"Potter, shut up," Lily pleaded with her eyes closed, and her hands gripping his shirt front. "Don't say anything."

"IT'S MY HEAD, LILY, IS STILL A BIT GROGGY, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE I ALMOST DIED TODAY, PLEASE DON'T HIT ME –"

Evans had enough, for evidently he just couldn't keep his mouth shut; so she flicked her wand at his throat. "Quietus!"

The boy's voice ceased, but he never stopped blabbering above her. "And the last thing I really saw, when I came down, was this enormous conk, and –"

"Shut up, James." Lily gritted her teeth at him. Once Potter quieted completely in front of her, she glared at his face, bobbing above her. "A head case?"

James sat down by the table behind him, and grinned sheepishly. "I only wanted to help."

"Well, thank you." Lily gave him a final scowl, and then turned again towards the other Gryffindors, who were still staring at them. She exhaled determinedly. "Right. As the Head Girl I must insist everyone over sixteen to give up their wands."

The older crowd grumbled in objection. One seventh grader slurred drunkenly, "Wh...y?"

"Indeed I apologise for this, but there will be no drunken conjuring tonight," Evans said strictly, and gestured towards one boy. "As you can see, Stevenson here is still suffering from the side effects of the last time that happened. I'm sure no one wants anything like that happening again anytime soon."

Everyone turned to look at the said Stevenson, who scratched his green Goblin-like ears, which even Madame Pomfrey hadn't been able to fix for him, and agreed with her. Lily snapped her fingers at James, and as the boy started to gather the wands into a bag he had just made himself (from what? Don't ask), she continued, "You shall have your wands back tomorrow morning, obviously, but I have to ask you to try to minimise the amount of conjuring you'll do if you have a hangover."

Some of the people in the common room hesitated at first, when James walked up to them to collect their wands, but after he kindly persuaded them with a prospective Petrificus Totalus, they were more than happy to comply. He did not forget to give each and every one of them a crooked, hearty smile in exchange.

Peter's wand was more than easy to snatch from his back pocket, for the boy was already carrying out his very own Body-Binding spell, head deeply buried under an armchair, and his limbs sprawled on the floor.

Almost finished with his round, Potter stopped in front of a the sofa closest to the fireplace.

"Dream on, antler-brain," Sirius snorted as James opened the bag for him. He tucked his wand safe inside his breast pocket. "You really think I'd give up my baby to you? The things you might do with it..."

"Classy," James remarked dryly, and turned to Remus with the bag. "Moony?"

Remus placed his hand over his robe pocket and smiled warmly at him, "You are not going to have my wand either, James. I need it."

Shifting his weight on his legs as if it would make him look more pathetic and thus convincing them, Potter sighed tiredly. "But Lily just said –"

"Well, she knows I'm not going to conjure while intoxicated or crapulent," Lupin said matter-of-factly, and then tilted his head at Sirius. "I'm not certain of him, though."

"Hey, it was only that one time!" Sirius yelped at him, leaning closer.

Remus smirked widely, nodding. "Yes, and the time before that."

With a pout, Sirius tried, "Yeah, but I wasn't –"

"And the time after that," Lupin reminded him, tilting his head slightly, but keeping his eyes steady on Sirius. "Remember that one? You ended up losing all your clothes. It was dreadful."

Sirius flailed his hands and pointed a finger at himself, "A victim of circumstances, Remmie! And besides, you were there; you know what happened! You saw everything!"

"Yes, everything," Lupin mumbled slyly, and turned back to James. "We have drank, I admit that – but we've only had a few celebratory Butterbeers, so I promise we won't do anything –" He paused and glanced at Sirius. "Majorly stupid."

Black stared at him with his mouth hanging open, but jolted as he remembered Potter's existence. He eyed his standing friend, crossed his arms and huffed, "Yeah! So forget it."

Evidently giving up, James closed the bag. "Fine, just don't let anyone else see you with those. They'll riot if they know you have... I don't know, privileges, or something. And you know how Gryffindors are when they riot." He emphasised his words with wide eyes and puckered lips, and then glanced at Remus. "Keep an eye on him, will you?"

"That already was my plan for the evening." Remus smiled innocently at him, but soon enough turned his eyes to the boy next to him, who was grinning extremely lewdly beside him. Remus asked him, "Wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I'm still here," Potter mumbled whilst turning slightly green. Not saying anything more, he hastily scurried away from the lovesick baboons.

Lily was waiting for him at the study table at which James had previously sat. Once there, Potter placed the bag full of wands on the table, on which Lily was sitting, and his eyes on the girl, he shivered a bit. Under his breath he grumbled, "What a couple of lovesick baboons."

"Take it easy," the girl tittered, and reached to pat James on the shoulder while watching him gag slightly. "You'll get used to it. You have to."

James leaned his hands on the table and closed his eyes in a way it seemed he had seen the worst sight of his life, after which he'd run at least a few hundred miles. "You know," he began, gulping heavily. "There are certain things in this world that I don't really wish to see, and my best mate doing his porn face directly at my other best mate is definitely one of them."

Lily merely chuckled at his malaise. "Right. So I assume you didn't get them." As he managed to shake his head, she asked, "Where is it, then?"

"Uh, left pocket," the boy mumbled and opened his eyes. He lifted his eyes on her. "Hopefully pranking will get my thoughts away from –"

"You do realise that you're not really going to prank anyone?" Lily asked him, pursing her lips. "As the Head Girl I possibly couldn't allow that. And you know why you cannot do that, Head Boy."

Potter stared at her. "Yeah, of course... I knew that."

Lily shook her head, almost if amused, and glanced around the common room. "An hour should be sufficient, don't you think?"

"When Sirius's there, five minutes is enough. Lupin makes him that horny."

"This is not really about Black, James," Lily noted and got down from the table. She patted her skirt and shrugged. "Well, it sort of is, but... It doesn't matter. I'll go, and make some preparations, you stay here and keep an eye on them." She patted his back, and turned to leave.

Potter pouted at that, and once she left his side, he hollered after her, "Yeah, brilliant, because I can't wait to do that!"

When Evans returned to the Gryffindor tower a good fifteen minutes later, nothing had changed. James was still at the table – now sitting on it, though – with a childish pout on his face, the two boys on the couch were still only fascinated by each other, and someone was still trying to perform a Tarantallegra without a wand. Not walking over to him, Lily gave a small yet informative nod to James, who immediately hopped down from the table, strode over to Peter's comatose corpus, and kicked him in the shin. "Pete? Wake up!"

"Mmhughsl," Peter's head intelligently retorted from under the armchair. Potter huffed at his answer.

"I need your help, mate, get up!"

Remus' voice commented leisurely from the couch, "I don't think he's conscious enough to do that, James."

"Adgysflks," Pettigrew gurgled, sounding rather offended by Remus' remark.

"What do you need him for, anyway?" Sirius asked as Potter started to haul Peter up. He sniggered at the lump, but didn't even moved a muscle to help his best friend. "He's completely screwed."

James groaned like a goat while lifting Peter from under his arms. He propped Peter's lower back on his knee, trying to get a better hold of him. "Well, I'm, er... doing a prank, oh sweet Merlin he's heavy... and I need some help."

"A prank?" Remus muttered suspiciously and tilted his head forward from the backrest. "Oh, now his trousers are falling. A prank to whom?"

As Potter used all of his muscle to hoist the chubby, half naked Animagus in upright position, an empty bottle fell from Peter's pocket on the floor. It rolled in the middle of them, staring at them in the eye.

The three boys stared at it back. Remus made a disgusted face. "Firewhiskey?"

"Feyahfishk!" Peter perked up momentarily, turning around in James' arms, and ending up slobbering happily against his chest. James wanted to cry.

Sirius grinned at the bottle and nudged Remus' shoulder, taking a long glimpse of his face. "Good times, huh?"

"Hardly," Remus told him, watching his grin widen. "I wanted to die."

James continued growling in a rather beastly fashion as he moved closer to a fourth grader sitting in a close armchair, reading his book – why at a time like that? Maybe he was an idiot – and taking a good look at the boy's face, James snapped, "Go!"

The tiny boy, who had not exploded from fright (thank heavens), ran away screaming his mummy.

With yet another grunt, James managed to slam the drooling Pettigrew in the now-empty chair, and once this task was finished, he turned his sweating eyes to face his more sober friends. He panted. "I'm executing a revenge prank on the Ravenclaws."

At once Sirius stopped staring at Lupin. "What? Really? Sounds cool!"

Remus frowned and crossed his arms in a disapproving fashion. "A revenge prank? What are you going to revenge, exactly? Gryffindor won the game, James. You belong to the Gryffindor house. Haven't you figured it out yet? Are you still messed up?"

"I'm fine!" James retorted, flailing his hands about. "And I don't know, I'm revenging my broken broom, or something. Do not overthink this, Moony! A prank is a prank!"

"Remus, let's have some fun!" Black tittered at the werewolf, and then gave his best friend an enthusiastic yet beseeching smile. He almost trembled in his seat. "Prongs, can I come? Please let me come. It's been ages."

"Not a good idea," Remus the Killjoy pointed out beside him. "Although, bringing Peter is not that good of an idea either, for he is very much unconscious, and I think..." He frowned and craned his neck to see behind James. "Oh, is he choking on something?"

"Plerghhghg," Pettigrew replied, telling him he was all right.

James turned to poke him in the cheek with a finger. "Of course you're coming, Sirius," he muttered whilst studying Peter's drool covered face. He sat on the armrest of the chair. "However, I need Pete also. It's a three-man job, and I knew Moony was going to object."

"Naturally." Remus smiled softly at him. "But I reckoned you would have already learnt from past experiences, how pranking the Ravenclaws usually go for you. They are smart enough to know it was you. They always know it was you."

Suddenly, Sirius took a tight grab of Remus' robe front. "Please? Pete's pissed, he can't go! Come on! Please, please, please, Remus please, please! Please!"

Trying very hard to unlock the fingers, Remus wasn't successful. He mumbled, "I should know better than to –"

Potter swept his sweaty face with his sleeve, and stated gravely, "Moony, if you help us now, we're never going to ask you to help us ever again." He stared at the werewolf even more gravely. "Ever."

"You know that's not true," Lupin said to him, and averted his gaze from the ridiculous puppy eyes inches from him. He was quiet for a moment, for he pondered the thing in its whole ridiculousness, and then sighed, shaking his head. "Fine."

"Yes!" Sirius grinned, let finally go off Remus' clothes, and patted him on the cheek. "Pranking time! It's been honestly so long!"

Lupin furrowed his brows again. "But before we continue this ludicrous escapade, may I ask why are you pranking the Ravenclaws on a Tuesday evening at 9pm?"

Almost falling off the armchair, James gulped. His hand flew to ruffle his hair, and his eyes searched something in the room. "Well, er... because the prank comes true later tonight?" Brilliant! He turned his eyes on Remus again. "Yeah, Ravenclaws have an Astronomy class tonight and everything must be ready by then, so... we're doing it now."

"Astronomy?" Sirius repeated, his grin fallen on the floor. He stood quickly up, seeming horrified, and moved hastily to whisper to James, "But Sinistra... she's a total crackpot. She hates pranks. She hates us. So..." he made a scared face. "Think about what'll happen when she finds out it was us, pranking... Astronomy..." His words fell on the floor next to his grin.

"This is horrible," Remus mumbled from the sofa. He rubbed his face. "Not a good idea at all..."

James huffed and gestured towards the common room door. "It's not for her, you baboons, it's for Ravenclaws. Come on. Don't hesitate on me now, gentlemen. I'll explain the prank on the way."

Not needing too much convincing, Sirius shrugged and tugged the halting lycanthrope off the couch. As he saw Remus' bitch face, he said soothingly, "It's not going to take that long."

"I hope you're right."

The boys were almost at the common room door (it took them a while to get there, actually, for Sirius wasn't exactly staring at his feet, hence making their progress slower), when Lily hurried to halt them.

She practically jumped in front of them, taking a motherly stance with her hands on her hips. "Where do you lot think you are going?"

"Oh god," Sirius snarled at her. He tried to go past her. "Leave us alone, Evans."

Lily shot a glare at him, making him freeze where he was (James hurried to him and pulled him away from her), whilst Remus tried to calm her down, "We're just going out for a walk."

The girl squinted at him. "You three never do that. And also, you're not supposed to leave the common room at this hour. You know that."

Obviously thinking this was the perfect time to act, Potter sputtered behind Sirius, "We're going to do a prank!"

"Bloody idiot," Black grunted and tried to smack him in the face, failing. James let go off him, though. "Don't tell her!"

Having ducked, James stood up again, and rolled his eyes behind his glasses. He feigned with an apologetic face, "I can't lie to her, man."

"At least try, you oaf!" Sirius hissed at his face, and turned to the girl. Rather quickly his index finger was pointed at her. "And you, try to stop us and –"

But Lily ignored him completely and tugged Remus away from them.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" Sirius hollered as Lily pulled Remus to the side. "Evans! Don't you dare steal him from me..." He took a glance around them. "Us! From us. Could you bring him back?"

"I don't care about them, but you?" Lily said severely to Lupin without trying to lower her voice. Remus took a glimpse of Sirius and James over her shoulder, and then turned his eyes back on the girl, who was gripping his forearm. She continued, "I thought you were above this pranking nonsense."

"It's not a big deal." The boy smiled at her in a heartfelt manner. "I think. We'll be back in a moment. You won't even notice us gone."

"These things always escalate, Remus." She stared at him intently, her fingers fondling his bony arm. "You know that. You'll get detention."

Sirius evidently seethed as he groused from the background, "Hands off, Evans! Fondle yourself if you must!"

Despite the evident jealousy exuding behind her, Lily tugged Remus closer to her from his robes – as if he wasn't already close enough – and pulled him into a pleading hug. Standing on her toes so she could hug him without problems, she muttered against his shoulder, "Be reasonable, Remus."

"Are you seeing this?" Sirius grunted enviously at James, who seemed oddly calm, watching the situation. "She's touching him! Why is she touching him? James, tell her to stop. Now, if you could."

"Shut up."

In a rather awkward manner, Remus patted Lily in the back, and then withdrew from the hug. "Don't you think you're overreacting a bit?" The girl was still hanging onto his robes when Remus started to walk away from her. He flashed her a smile. "Don't worry."

As Sirius made a victorious face and a couple of censored hand gestures at Lily, and climbed out of the common room door with Lupin in tow, the girl's eyes met with James'. She nodded briefly at him.

James smirked back.

Once the boys were out of the door, Evans returned to the study table by the windows, Remus' stolen wand safe in her own pocket.

"I cannot emphasise how very bad of an idea I think this is."

The three goons were rummaging through a broom closet in the Astronomy tower corridor – or well, two of the goons were rummaging through the said closet, while the third one muttered constant complaints behind them.

"Moony, we know this's a bad idea," Potter said as he found a perfect bucket and bustled out of the closet. He huffed at Remus' expression. "You keep reminding us about your opinion continuously. Watch the map."

Remus sighed dolefully as he turned his eyes from James to the Marauders Map in his hands. "I can't believe you took me here to stare at this."

"Like I said," Potter mumbled as he filled the bucket with water. "It's a three-man job. I didn't specify what the third man was going to do."

Lupin stopped whinging and kept his narrowed eyes on the map.

Fortunately for Lily's new scheme, Sirius had kept sure the geek hadn't needed his own wand to light his intriguing map reading experience, for ever since they had begun their trip to the Astronomy tower, Sirius had been hovering around the boy like some idiotic love-struck teenager... Which he was, of course. And before he had dived into the broom closet to find whatever James had wanted him to find, Black had handed his wand to Lupin just as James had kindly suggested he should do.

Remus hadn't even remember the existence of his own wand, and during this overly cloying interaction, James had been very surprised to notice he had managed to keep his food inside him. He certainly deserved a medal.

"Padfoot," James said from the corridor. He spoke over his shoulder. "Pass me another bucket."

Sirius' voice grumbled inside the closet, "I don't think there is another!"

"Moony, show him light."

Lupin moved closer to the open door and lifted his hand which was holding Sirius' wand so the boy had more light inside the closet. He peered inside it. "To think Hogwarts would have the room to make more spacious closets. This one is exceptionally small."

"There's no more buckets here, Prongs," Sirius muttered, as he sit on his legs like the big boy he was.

James spared a quick glimpse at them from the half-filled bucket in front of him. His wand was gushing water to it. "Maybe... I don't know. Check the shelves, will you."

"Don't you think I haven't..." Black started, but glanced up. His face fell. "Oh."

Remus frowned as he did the same. One lonely bucket sat on the top shelf. "Filch put it up there? Why?"

After shoving his wand into his pocket, James carried the now-filled bucket closer to the closet door. "Use the ladder, Sirius."

"Accio is faster," Sirius said to him, and was already stretching his hand to Remus, to take the wand.

Potter used his serious voice when he repeated, "Use the ladder."

Getting up, Black growled, "Fine!"

As he started to climb the small ladder to fetch the wooden bucket from the shelf, James knew that was his only chance; he hastily snatched Sirius' wand from Lupin's hand, and before the skinny werewolf could mutter 'chocolate covered full moon', he was pushed onto the floor of the closet. Potter grinned annoyingly at his extremely baffled expression, and splashed the bucketful of water on him, after which he slammed the door shut.

Trying to rub his sore behind, Remus blinked in the darkness. "What? James!"

"Hey, what's happening?" Sirius groaned from the top ladder. "Can't see!"

Before he could even began to think what indeed had happened, Lupin heard an utter from the other side of the door. "Colloportus."

And seeing absolutely nothing he tried his best not to gnarl – because, you know... Remus didn't gnarl. "Why did you lock the door? And why am I wet?"

"Wha– you're wet?" Sirius' voice whined from above. He sounded as though he was having problems staying still. "Uh... I mean, Potter, open the door!"

Remus growled very politely as he got up, "James, what on Earth are you doing?" He tried to wipe his clothes, realising even without light that he was completely drenched.

"I'm locking you in the closet, you dummies."

"PRONGS!"

"Why?" Remus asked, striving to see something. Naturally he saw nothing. "And why did you water me? I don't think it was necessary..." As Sirius grumbled obscenities above him, the werewolf didn't catch what Potter replied behind the door. He cordially shushed Sirius, and said towards the door, "James, could you repeat that?"

"I said you need alone time!"

"Prongs, don't do this! It's bloody dark in here! And..." He paused. "You took my bloody wand!"

Lupin turned his head towards Sirius' voice. "He took your wand, but he poured a bucketful of water on me!" He then turned back to the door, taking a step closer to it, as if it was going to soften James up. "This is childish! Open the door, please."

"Talk to the hand."

"We cannot see your hand for the locked door is blocking our view," Remus kindly noted as he searched his pockets in the dark.

"Okay, I'll put my hand against the door."

The werewolf took a deep breath as he felt his pockets were empty, then counted to ten, and said slowly to the door, "James... did you take my wand, as well?"

James' voice sounded as though he was grinning. "Maybe."

"Potter, I swear to god!" Black climbed the ladder down and as his feet were safely on the ground, he blindly fumbled next to Remus and after finding it, he banged the door with his fists. "You can't do this! Open! The! Door! This is not funny!"

"You might not want to make such a ruckus, because Mrs Norris might hear you. You know how sharp her hearing is."

Sirius snarled against the wood, "Not as sharp as Padfoot's teeth on your arse are going to be, Potter! Let us out!"

"James, could you please open the door?" Remus asked and rested his forehead against the door. He yanked his clothes a bit from his chest. "I'd like to have my wand so I can dry myself off. I'm going to catch a cold this way."

"Great! Prongs, you've done it now! Remus's going to die!" Sirius bellowed in a very friendly manner, and as he threw his hands in the air, he accidentally slapped the werewolf in the face. Lupin hissed at him because of this, naturally not wanting to be smacked, and the boy winced in panic, "Oh Merlin, Remmie, I'm sorry!" He tried to grab Remus' face, but couldn't find it in the dark. Of course he only managed to poke Remus in the eye with his spindly fingers.

"Ack!" Remus rubbed his eye, naturally not wanting to be blinded, and muttered, "Sirius... Don't... Don't worry about it."

Black defeatedly dropped his hands, and turned back to the door, shouting, "You sodding git, James, open this bloody door, and look what you made me do! It's so dark that I almost blinded him!"

"It's not his fault, Sirius, don't take it out on him. By the way, there's a matchbox and a small candle on the bottom shelf, as you probably saw earlier. Enjoy yourselves!"

"Potter, don't you dare leave us here!"

"Yelling at the door won't help," Remus said as he took a step back, turned around, kneeling on the slightly wet floor, and started to search the shelves for the aforementioned candle. Did he just hope it would really be there.

Sirius muttered to the darkness, "I can bloody hell try." Soon he was facing the wood again. "Unlock the door, you arse-buffoon! Don't do this!"

"Oh, and don't burn the map, it'll help you know if someone's coming."

"A lot of good that'll do, you bastard, we can't escape this sodding closet! How will we explain this to Filch? Open up!"

"Say you were sleepwalking together or something. I don't care!"

Sirius shouted, "Potter!"

"I'm leaving now!"

"Bastard!"

Remus lit the candle he had found with his steady hands – hurray for tactile sense – and a pathetic light filled the small chamber. He squinted his slightly sore eye at the light. "Sirius, please don't holler," he said, after glancing at the boy. "He's right, Mrs Norris will hear you."

With a huff Black turned around and of course seemed annoyed. His eyes were wide of rage. "But he can't do this!"

Lupin raised a brow at him as they heard James quip happily behind the door, "Bye!"

"Bloody bastard!" Sirius gaped at the door and ponting a finger to the door, he ogled at Remus. "Can you believe the guy?"

Remus placed the candle in the middle of the floor, and left the open map on the floor next to it. In the scanty, yellow light the closet seemed even smaller than it had seemed before. He stood up and muttered, "Most of the time, no, I can't. Thank you for asking, though."

"This is..." Black whined pathetically as he slid on the floor his back against the door. Happy to remark, his bum didn't get wet. "Unbelievable. Why would he do this? I can't believe –"

"I'm sure he'll come back soon enough to let us out," Remus interjected as he carefully started to remove his wet robe. "I just hope it won't take that long, for I really don't wish to be sick."

Sirius swallowed and tried not to stare at the undressing werewolf. He didn't succeed that well. "Yeah... but... I can't handle this right now." He averted his eyes and turned them to the shelves. There were an interesting spider there, hopefully. "He knows I can't be here."

"This is just a broom closet." Remus hanged his wet robe on a nail on the side of the ladder. He took an eyeful of his slipover and trousers, noting that only the latter were somewhat wet. "We're fine here."

Black watched as Remus ruffled his damp hair, and sputtered, "No, I have to get out."

Remus glanced at him. "We have the map. We know if someone's coming. No need to be nervous."

"Yeah, no..." Sirius detected a drip of water on Lupin's cheek. He blinked. "I should really get out of here. I can't... be here." He took the ends of his hair, and tugged them slightly. "He's doing this on purpose."

The werewolf loosened his tie, pulling it off and shoving it in his pocket as he sat down back against a shelf, facing Sirius. "I never knew you were afraid of closed spaces."

"I'm not... I just..." Black rubbed his face as if to calm himself down. "Can't be here now. The sodding bastard knows that... I can't be here when the door's locked, and when there's no one on the other side of it... and no exit." He seemed very agitated. "I can't – not now, not... not with you, and definitely not when you're drenched like that."

Quickly enough, Remus' eyes were on him. "Why can't you be here with me?"

Sirius stared at him over the candle, deadpanned. "You are very dumb for a smart guy, did you know that?"

The lycanthrope only blinked at him.

Black grinned nervously. "It's just that, if we don't get out of here... within reasonable time, I might do... something." He grimaced a bit to the candle. "But no biggie."

The candle grimaced him back.

"Do what?" Lupin raised another curious brow. He took a quick glimpse around them, eyeing the random objects on the shelves. "There's not that much you could do without your wand in a broom closet."

Sighing, Sirius said, "To you, Remus."

"Oh." The boy swallowed. Feigning absolute indifference, he softly rubbed his neck. "What... would you want to do to me?" Suddenly Sirius stared at him – well, it wasn't at all that sudden when he was doing that constantly, but still – and Remus saw his jawline clench, so he had lowered his eyes. "So, when James said that we needed alone time, he meant –" He looked up. "It has something to do with you... wanting to kiss me?"

Black nodded slowly and licked his lips. "Yeah, something like that. So, I think you should want to get out, as soon as possible."

"But we spent the whole day together, and you didn't do anything... lascivious."

"Well," Sirius started, and laughed a bit. "I've been able to keep cool, since there have always been someone else around." He gestured around them. "This is sort of... the first time I've been with you alone... in a small space, since my dr..." He stopped in mid-word. "Never mind."

Staring at him, Remus faintly bit his lip. He tilted his head. "Is there anything I could do to help you feel more relaxed?"

Sirius started to crawl closer. "Well..." He grinned as he kept his eyes on the boy. "This is again one of those things a friend couldn't possible make any better. But... if you truly wanted to, you could let me jump you."

"Er, that doesn't sound very comfortable," the bookhound muttered as he watched Sirius move closer to him. "We have... so little space here."

"That's the only objection?"

Lupin gulped and kept his eyes on Black, who was already very close to him. Suddenly Remus flashed him a smile. "Maybe I could try to distract you somehow?"

"You know, you already do that all the time," Sirius said quietly as he slumped his arse on the floor next the wet werewolf. He wiped his hands together. "Like during the Quidditch game today. So... no need for that. Doesn't really help."

"Yes, but from me," Remus specified, leaning forward and trying to catch Sirius' eyes in his own. "Maybe there's something we could discuss about? I don't know, perhaps we could continue our earlier conversation."

"In a broom closet?" Sirius grinned at him. "That's new."

Lupin frowned, letting his eyes wander on Sirius' lips. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

"Probably yes," the Animagus admitted. He brought his knees up, resting his stretched arms on them. "Birds, right?" He glanced at the boy next to him. "Well, a lot of them."

Remus let out an uncharacteristic huff as a slight blush crept on his face. He turned his eyes away from Sirius' face, mumbling, "Really?"

Sirius' grin grew in a tantalising fashion. "Because sometimes... things just got too difficult for me to..." As he stared at Remus' red cheeks, he began again. "Um, at times I was almost unable to keep my shit together, to put it bluntly. You know what that means, don't you?" Remus shook his head at the question, but still refused to look at him. "It means I had an awful hard time to keep my paws off you."

The werewolf said nothing, but now only stared at him with widened eyes.

Gazing back at him, Sirius continued. "And every time, when I almost slipped and blindly just attacked you – you should thank me I didn't, by the way – I went for a stroll around the school, and grabbed the first available and willing skirt, snogged her and..." He shrugged. "Maybe even shagged her, until she was bruised, and... sometimes it happened in broom closet, like this one. So our conversation in here would be my very first." He leaned closer to Remus' red face, whispering, "Congratulations for being my first."

"Bruised?" was the only thing Remus was able to say to him.

Leaning back at the shelf, Black battled a lewd smirk. "Yeah well, somehow they never seemed to mind me being a tad rough."

Remus tried not to shake. He breathed, "Is that so?"

"Or to question why I was that way."

Sirius stared at the squirming boy as he said nothing.

"Remus?"

There was no other visible reaction telling Sirius the werewolf was still breathing beside the obvious blush on his cheeks.

"Are you alive?" Lupin puffed at him in reply, and Sirius had to smirk amusedly, "Or are you... jealous?"

Immediately Remus turned his eyes on the floor. "No!" He shook his head so feverishly Sirius was afraid it would fall off. "That's ridiculous. I'm not jealous. Why would I be, that's..."

With that, he didn't fight at all when Black carefully lifted his chin, so their eyes would meet again. He brushed a thumb on Remus' jaw. "But you're blushing."

Struggling against Sirius' soft grip – so really, not struggling at all – Remus turned his eyes away. "It's hot in here."

"It's really not. You're drenched."

Lupin let out a sigh when Sirius' moved his hand away. He kept his eyes on the floor. "Well, maybe it's... fever? I think... Perhaps I'm sick already. We have to get out."

Sirius smiled at him and rested his head against the shelf. "Yeah, that's exactly what I said from the beginning."

At that moment, he was practically glued to Remus' side. The lycanthrope stared at their thighs being pressed tightly together, and he muttered, pointing a finger at the door. "You could... sit over there."

"No I couldn't," Black bantered in return. "It's cramped over there. This is far better."

"You'll catch my... fever, I'm sure."

Black pressed his warm hand on Remus' wet thigh. "Nah, my immune system's pretty awesome." As Remus' blush just deepened, Sirius nodded. "Feel how warm I am? I can easily resist your illness."

"Are you good at resisting other things as well?" Remus asked as he gazed at Sirius' fingers. Black intently watched him lick his lips.

"No... I'm awful at that."

"Ah," the werewolf smiled nervously to himself, and watched as his fingers slowly moved to touch Sirius' hand – however, before he could say anything else to the boy, he perked up and mumbled quietly, "Someone's coming."

Sirius turned his eyes to the map, and saw Mrs Norris' paw prints moving along the corridor to their way. He said under his breath, "Oh, bloody hell, I hate cats."

He then moved forwards from his position and on his knees, and was just about to blow the candle when Remus tugged his robes, whispering, "Don't, she will smell the smoke."

"Right," Black muttered and leaned his back against the shelf.

For a moment they kept incredibly silent, and kept their eyes on the enchanted map without moving a single muscle, shoulder to shoulder, soaked trouser thigh pressed against a dry one.

And as the paw prints stopped behind the door for a second or two or ten, and they waited a loud meow to echo behind the thick wood, Remus leaned unconsciously against Sirius, tugging slightly his robes and closing his eyes against his shoulder. Black took a deep breath whilst keeping his sharp eyes steady on the parchment and his thoughts on something else than Remus' shivering body.

For another moment they just sat there, close to each other, silently taking in each other's scents.

On the other side of the door Mrs Norris tried to sniff their scents, as well, but fortunately for them she failed and left the alone.

When Sirius was sure the cat had left the corridor, he kindly let Remus lean on him for a minute longer, and then broke the silence by whispering, "Are you cold? You're shuddering."

Remus snapped his eyes open and saw a hand on top of his. He slowly let go off Sirius' robes, sitting up, and mumbled, "It is a bit chilly."

"You want my robe?" Sirius asked, but didn't wait for an answer and was already taking it off. He didn't have his slipover on, as usual, but that didn't matter. "I'm warm enough to cope without it."

"No, I don't need it, I'm already cold, so..."

Sirius swung his robe across Remus' shaking shoulders, and once the boy was under it, he wrapped his arms around Remus, pulling him closer. "For once in your life, let me help you."

Not struggling, Remus muttered nevertheless, "You don't have to do this. I'm fine."

"Stop whining," Sirius said, holding him tighter.

"I feel like you're treating me like a girl," the werewolf said, a bit muffled as his mouth was hidden in the fabric of Sirius' shirt. Sirius chuckled at that, and Remus to ask, "What?"

Still sniggering Sirius told him, "Nothing, it's just that you're actually the very first bird I've held like this. It seems that you're my first in lots of things."

Lupin muttered against him, "Idiot."

"But if you want, I could warm you up in a different way."

"How?" Remus asked skeptically.

"Like this!" Sirius let go off him, not letting him fall, and moved so his back was suddenly against the stony floor, and with a great difficulty he hoisted his long legs against the shelves on the other wall. His head he rested on Remus' lap, smiling widely at his baffled face.

"What are you doing?" Lupin frowned amusedly at him. "I don't understand how this will warm me up." But as Black only grinned at him in a way that made Remus blink nervously, he cleared his throat. "However, I still feel girlish, your head in my lap."

"You're not really girly, Remmie," Sirius said and smiled adoringly at him from below. He slithered his back of the head against Remus' thighs. "Even though I did carry you to bed last night."

Lupin rolled his eyes at that, and moved the robe so some of it covered Sirius' chest. He patted the fabric, and the chest lightly. "You're never going to let that go, are you? I told you already, I was sleepy."

"Thank Merlin you're so lightweight." Sirius snickered, wiggling his feet above him. His position seemed all but comfortable. "It was like I was carrying a sackful of feathers!"

"You didn't really carry me. You merely helped me up the stairs," Remus reminded kindly. "And then you fell asleep in my bed, on top of me."

Sirius pursed his lips, and nuzzled his head again on the lap. "Admit it, you liked it."

"When I woke up, I couldn't feel my legs."

"Well, sorry!" Sirius pouted at him. "My bed was just so far away."

The werewolf sniggered amiably at the expression, making his legs and Sirius wobble. "It's right next to mine! What a horribly long way to walk."

"Yes, exactly." The boy nodded solemnly. His fingers played with the fabric of his own robe, as he kept mumbling childishly, "And besides, my bed's full of crumbs. I don't want to sleep there."

Lupin slightly shifted his legs under Sirius' weight. "That's your own fault, not mine. You ought not to eat in your bed."

"It's my hobby, don't judge me." Sirius glanced at his face, first seeming serious, but then curving the corners of his mouth upwards. "You have weird hobbies too, you know."

"Hobbies or habits?" Remus asked him, tilting his head a bit on the left.

"Hobbies," Sirius repeated and wiggled his fingers at him. "Like playing the piano! It seems so hard, hobbies shouldn't be hard. Hobbies should be fun."

"Such as eating in your bed?" As Sirius nodded at him, Remus smiled endearingly back. "Well, I like playing the piano. Playing classical music relaxes me, to some extent. I haven't played in a while, though. I should start again."

The Animagus suddenly rumbled up from his awkward position. He then sat on his legsnext to Remus, staring at him with widened eyes and asking if terrified, "Classical?"

Watching him back, Lupin frowned. "Yes? What's the matter?"

Sirius grabbed him gently by his shoulders. "Oh, Remus, that's terrible! No!"

Remus sniggered at his horrified face. "You're acting as though you heard I've caught a deadly disease."

"Classical music is a deadly disease," Black informed gravely. He looked as if he wasn't going to avert his eyes for a while. They were nailed on Remus'. "You should definitely play something else. Try Muggle rock music, some of those bands are brilliant! You could try playing Your Song, for instance."

"That is more of your area than mine." Remus shook his head at him. "I don't know anything about that."

Still ogling at him feverishly – as though he had stopped at some point – and still held his shoulders. "What about the Beatles? Remus, I know you love them!"

Lupin smiled faintly. "Now how would you know that?"

Suddenly, Sirius seemed kind of embarrassed. "Because you... you hum Here Comes the Sun all the time."

Slowly, reluctantly even, Black let go of his shoulders, and the werewolf wrapped the robe more firmly around them. "I didn't know that," he said, keeping his eyes fixed on Sirius' face. "But that's my favourite one from them, so I guess it makes sense."

"I know!" Sirius smiled wholly, making his face to light up. "It's a brilliant song! I can play it with a guitar."

Remus stopped fingering the robe. "You can play the guitar?"

"Well, sort of." Sirius moved closer to him again, and whispered, "It's kind of the only song I can play." Then he nodded to himself. "But it's really difficult, so!"

Smiling to him, Remus joined the nodding. "You should practise more song, then. You could be a great guitarist, you have such long fingers."

"Oh you mean these?" Sirius wiggled his fingers at the geek.

The boy watched them, and then Sirius, shifting his position a bit. Trying not to smile, he said, "Yes. That could be one of the other activities you could do with them, besides the lock-picking."

Black kept wiggling his fingers at him, but now there was almost an evil smirk on his face. His eyes were nailed on Remus.

"What are you..." Remus' eyes widened as the boy moved ominously closer. "Don't you dare. You know..." He gulped. "You know I don't like that."

Without a fair warning, Sirius' fingers attacked the werewolf's sides under the robe, and Remus fell on his back – and of course the tickler went down with him; and writhing under him, Remus giggled and snorted uncontrollably as Sirius kept fiddling his ribs, moving slowly on top of the boy's legs. At some point Black skilfully dodged an accidental kick that was aimed towards his groin.

"N-no! Do-don't! Ah! Sirius – I can't b-breathe!"

"Keep quiet," Sirius sniggered, but never stopped tickling the boy, who was utterly flushed again and gasped for air because of the way the fingers were touching him. Sirius grinned at his red face. "I'm only trying to warm you up."

"Ple-please, st...op! Ngh, Sirius! Don't –"

Remus kept feebly trying to push him away, but Sirius wouldn't budge; however, as soon as the tickling had started, Sirius suddenly stopped and took a steady grip of Remus' sides – he waited until Lupin stopped squirming under him and got some air into his lungs, and then leaned closer, speaking quietly to his face, "You really should keep quiet, or someone will hear us."

Lupin tried not to panic as he glanced down and saw Sirius' fingers creeping upwards on his sides again. He squeaked, "Sirius, please don't, I'm –"

But the fingers never tickled him again. One hand steadied Sirius over the werewolf whilst the other snaked up to hold Remus' surprised face in its place as Sirius kissed his lips.

Naturally, Remus completely forgot that he was coming down with a supposed fever.

If he took into account that he was cold and wet, the broom closet was utterly cramped, the floor on which they were imitating a teenage boy sandwich was undoubtedly stony, and the only source of light was a pathetically flickering candle next (and dangerously close) to them, Remus' current state of mind could have been much worse indeed.

Black's brain agreed that yes, he liked this broom closet way more than the others.

At first, he had moved to kiss Remus slowly, almost carefully even, as if he was waiting Remus to use the eased moment to finally push him off, but as the werewolf didn't do anything of the sort, eventually Sirius himself had to stop by lifting his lips away – not that he wanted, but he thought it was better for Remus' back, for as already mentioned, the floor was very rocky. He tilted his head backwards, muttering, "Ah, I'm –"

"A bit more," Remus hummed, and pulled him back. Like it was the most natural thing for him to do, he lifted his hands from Sirius' shirt (where he had at some point ceased them) to his neck, tugging him closer by his collar, his tie, his hair, whichever – and deepened the hesitant kiss like a professional kisser would do.

Not that he knew what they were like.

But whatever he did, Black complied merrily. While his left hand was keeping him from falling on Remus, the right one travelled to hold the boy's hot neck, pulling him vehemently away from the cold floor and towards his own lips.

Yet, when it dawned on him the second time within thirty seconds that Remus was indeed still under him, stone floor boring into his backbone, and that he was hanging from Sirius' neck uncomfortably like his life was depending on it, Sirius again had to stop. Even though his entire body was trying to work against him, he pulled away from the warm, nibbling mouth, and inhaled deeply while focusing his eyes on the flushed geek beneath him. But as soon as he saw the absolutely perplexed expression on Lupin's red face, he hurried to ask, "Uncomfortable?"

"No." The lycanthrope smiled and tried to catch his breath. "It's fine."

He was still holding onto Sirius' neck and his lips were already itching to continue the tryst, but from the corner of his eye he saw something that caused a nasty, twirling ice block plunge into the pit of his empty stomach.

Lupin yanked the boy closer from his tie, and mumbled breathlessly against his lips, "The map."

Somehow managing, Black took a quick glance at the parchment on the floor, and saw those infernal paw prints coming back towards the closet door. He turned back to gaze at the boy lying under him, blinked, and cursed quietly into Lupin's mouth, "Are you frigging kidding me?"

Their lips brushing, Remus muttered back at him, "Don't move. I hear she's coming closer."

To put things lightly, it was rather frustrating of a situation. They were finally alone, together, literally on top of each other – and a scabby cat was interrupting them. If their thoughts wouldn't have been slightly preoccupied at that moment, they both probably would have been imagining different kinds of ways to avenge the unholy interruption to the pestering animal.

The Animagus tried his very best to keep still. As if in pain, he closed his eyes and whispered, "I'm going to murder that cat until it's completely dead."

Under him, Remus suppressed a chuckle as he kept staring at the parchment, with his head turned on his left.

And just as Sirius opened his eyes to take another glimpse at the same direction, the flame of the candle decided to make things a tiny bit more difficult, and died down.

The boy on top almost yelped in surprise as the closet darkened again, but thankfully Remus' werewolf-reflexes – whatever they were – had been trained to work exceptionally fast in dark broom closets, and he pulled Sirius closer by his tie he was still grasping, and kissed him silent.

Sirius had never been that happy to be quiet before.

When he was only starting to reciprocate, the geek stopped, and pulled Sirius even closer to mutter in his ear, "Still there."

In the absolute darkness the boy did not see, but was able to smell Remus' exposed throat in front of him, and of course he had no other choice than to press his lips on it. Remus inhaled sharply because of the touch, but managed to keep his mouth otherwise shut and his ears on the perverted eavesdropper cat behind the door.

Lupin had to face the facts – even though he tried to convince himself that he was known for his outstanding concentration skills, the lips, teeth and the occasional tongue sliding against his neck were making things rather hazy. He was almost unable to focus enough to whisper into Sirius' ear, "Do you hear her?"

The boy mumbled against his throat between his amorous activities, "You're the one with the super-hearing."

Remus shifted, pulled his neck away from the Animagus' mouth and chuckled silently at his face. "We should have brought Peter here, regardless of him being unconscious."

Sirius swallowed with a great difficulty and breathed in the darkness, "What?"

"Mrs Norris could have played with him."

"Remus," the boy on top uttered and slid his hand under Remus' back. "Could you maybe... stop talking about Pete for a second."

"Sorry."

As the hand accidentally tickled Remus' sensitive back, Lupin cocked his knee upwards, and this time it indeed met with Sirius' groin. Both of them gasped, almost in unison – Black because of the sudden but definitely pleasurable touch, Remus because of the bulge in Sirius' pants, which was now pressing firmly against his leg, had totally surprised him.

To his own astonishment, he didn't move a muscle to lower his knee.

Sirius stifled the lewdest of moans and buried his face again into Remus' neck. The geek murmured to his ear, "Are you all right?"

"Nghh," he grunted in reply against the sweating neck. "I'm..."

Remus slowly lifted Sirius' hot face to the level of his own, but he had no chance to say what he was saying or do whatever he was about to do, for someone opened the door.

A/N: what

The map didn't get wet because when they made it, it was protected with a spell. Or at least in my headcanon it was.