Disclaimer: Own nothing.

Lady M: Thank all for still reading this story. I will not abandon any of my stories. They will be finished at some point, but I can't say when or if I'll have a regular update schedule for these. Also, trigger warning: anxiety attack at the end of the chapter. Very brief, but still there.

But deep down, he felt something was wrong.

Chapter Eleven: Twists

-Stand-

Atobe hadn't expected Ryoma to reach out and grab his hand. It fit perfectly inside his own.

Just like it always did.

He wasn't going to let go or talk about the gesture, afraid that doing so would make Ryoma self-conscious about his choice. Being able to hold one of his ex's hand again felt so good in the midst of everything that had happened in such a short amount of time.

This could be your chance. Don't mess things up.

They arrived at the hospital minutes later. Atobe really didn't want to let go, but had to in order to get out of the limo. They walked inside and through the motions of being checked in.

Kunimitsu was in the largest suite available. No expenses spared, of course. Nothing but the best for the most important people in Atobe's life, even if they weren't technically "his" anymore.

They walked into the room. Ryoma stiffened upon seeing Kunimitsu and sucked in a deep breath. They settled at the unconscious person's side in the two chairs provided. Atobe had made sure to tell the staff to add an extra one while he was gone.

Ryoma reached out and touched Kunimitsu's hand. "You didn't deserve this," he whispered. "Keigo and I are here for you right now. Come back to us soon, okay?"

There was a gentle squeeze before Ryoma let go and sunk back into the chair.

"Will he be okay?" Ryoma asked.

"I don't know," he answered. "The doctors seem to think most of his injuries will recover perfectly fine. It's just is head wound that they're most concerned about."

"What are the possibilities with it?"

"I stopped them after they said he might have some temporary memory loss. I didn't want to hear more, but I know there's a lot that could go wrong."

Ryoma didn't say anything in response to the information, just stared at Kunimitsu with an intense gaze. Atobe didn't interrupt the other's thoughts. He was just happy they were together.

-Stand-

Fuji stared at the door once again, hoping that Ryoma would walk through it at any moment even though less than an hour had passed since his departure. It was stupid really. Even though he didn't care of the idea of Ryoma being alone with Keigo, his chance to stop the other had long-since passed.

What was he honestly hoping for?

"He'll be fine," Gen voiced. He snapped his head forward and rubbed his neck.

"I know." I don't. "Doesn't stop me from worrying about him." He's not in a good place.

"I talked to Seiichi," Gen began. "He suggested we get in contact with Niou Masaharu and see if he'd be about to help. Apparently he went on to study some form of psychology."

"It's a start. I honestly haven't even looked into where to begin in helping Ryoma. I always feel like I'm saying and doing all the wrong things."

"It might be beneficial for you to get some help too. Not just for yourself, but also to be able to learn the signs and get tools on how to help him."

He nodded. "You should too if you're going to be around here a lot."

Gen's breath hitched at his words. "I didn't know how often you wanted me to come around. I'm not opposed to learning as well. I just want to be helpful in any way I can."

Fuji thought for a moment. "I don't know how Ryoma would feel, but he seems to trust you enough to have you around more often. We'd have to discuss it with him. I don't want to presume he's going to be all right with something when he won't be."

Even if I'm not sure I can stop my feelings.

"Of course. The focus is about getting him better."

"Right."

This is all for Ryoma.

His stomach dropped. Fuji didn't just want this all to be about Ryoma. He had promised to focus on him, but it was too much. He was carrying a heavy burdened and needed someone with him for this journey.

Is it okay if that person is you, Gen? Just for now?

"Gen," he began. He hoped the other wouldn't reject him. Hoped the other would understand what he needed. Hoped that this wouldn't all be a terrible idea that he'd regret later.

"Yes Syuusukie?"

Only one way to find out.

We need to talk."

-Stand-

It was a conversation he knew needed to happen, but was dreading all the same. There was no way avoid it though. They couldn't deny what was happening between them. Their feelings would likely never fully go away.

At least, that's what Sanada hoped.

He didn't want there to be a future where the option to never again be with his former boyfriends was completely out of the question. The thought alone hurt. He couldn't imagine it actually being true.

"I know your focus is Ryoma," he found himself saying. His voice thick. The words felt heavy and unfairly weighted.

Syuusuke didn't react like he expected. The other trembled at his words. "That's not what I wanted to talk about."

His heart pounded loudly in his chest.

What did he want to talk about then?

"Then what do you want to discuss?" Sanada tried to keep his voice even, not wanting to betray the hope beating inside his chest. The possibilities of "what if" running continuously through his mind.

He had to remind himself to breathe as he waited for Syuusuke's next words.

"I wanted to talk about us."

The sentence hung between them. Loaded with both promises of joy and rejection. Sanada could not let himself hope. He knew Syuusuke's sole focus was on Ryoma. A relationship would complicate matters.

But there was still something between them. Something that wouldn't go away easily, something that was waiting to come out from the shadows and consume them completely.

That's exactly what it did.

Syuusuke made the first move. He closed the physical distance between them. Allowed their lips to finally meet. Sanada moaned into the other's mouth as the kiss deepened. His body ready and eager to respond.

Thin fingers slid under the hem of his shirt. They traced a familiar pattern on his skin. One that left nothing but fire in its wake. Touches far from innocent and promising more once completely bare.

Soon, his shirt came off completely, discarded on the floor. He heard Syuusuke's breath hitch. Eyes drinking in his physique. Sanada wasted no time in making sure his ex's top joined his.

Pure desire took over for both of them at the sight of the other. Still just as gorgeous as ever, he couldn't help but notice. Yet somehow entirely different.

They weren't lovers who couldn't resist each other.

They were exes who needed the comfort of one another in order to face the task before them.

This is a bad idea.

Sanada did nothing to stop his actions though.

Consequences be damned.

-Stand-

Ryoma didn't know what to feel at this moment. Part of him still hated what Kunimitsu had done to Syuusuke. Made him sick. He didn't want to think anyone he knew would be capable of committing such an awful act.

Not only did he know someone, but that person was one of his exes. Ryoma shouldn't be surprised. After all, they had banded together to make him feel as unloved and unwanted as possible. Tortured him emotionally. The man to his left harmed his physically. If he believed in a god, he would've believed the deity was laughing at him right now. How did his life get so messed up?

"I can't ever forgive him," Ryoma whispered suddenly. He hadn't spoken to Keigo since their arrival.

"I wouldn't ask you to," Keigo replied.

Ryoma looked up at the businessman. "But you want me to forgive you?"

Keigo frowned, obviously mulling over his next choice of words. "Yes," the older man answered simply. "But I can't expect you to forgive me either. I treated you like shit for something that wasn't your fault. Blamed you when I knew you didn't ask for that to happen to you."

He sat in silence. "I'll never forget hearing you take their side. I should've walked away then."

"Why did you stay?"

"Because of everyone else. I needed them if I couldn't have you. Didn't matter though, they abandoned me too."

"Because I forced them too."

"I know," Ryoma bit out harshly. "I know everything you've done—had plenty of time to mull it over in my isolation thanks to you. There's so many times when I should have left, but didn't. I put up with shit treatment because I was stupid and naïve. Sometimes I think I'm still that way."

He didn't know why he was telling Keigo all of this. There was no logical explanation for why this conversation had to take place now. Yet here he was, pouring out the rawness of his heart to someone who could throw it back in his face.

"Why do you still think that way?"

"Because what sane person really would want to keep trying to save a broken person like me?"

-Stand-

The words punched Atobe in the gut. Did Ryoma really think so little of his life? Was it all really not worth it to him?

Of course. You're the one who told him how worthless he was every day.

Shit. He played a deeper hand in all of Ryoma's pain than he realized. Atobe sucked in a breath.

"You're not broken."

Ryoma raised an eyebrow at him. "Really? How am I supposed to believe you when you're the one who told me that every day? And now you want me to forgive on top of that?"

"So don't think about forgiving me."

"Isn't that what you want though?" Ryoma asked.

"Yes, I do." He took a pause to collect his next thoughts. "But I know that you can't forgive me." At least right now. "Because forgiving me means that my actions and words didn't play into who you are now. It means looking past the deep hurt I caused you, the pain I helped shape."

"So you want me to hate you?"

He shook his head. "No. I want you to know that it's okay to blame me for everything I did wrong. I take ownership for my actions and the consequences of those actions. What I'm asking is that you blame me for what I did and not think the blame always comes back to you."

Ryoma studied his face for a moment before breaking eye contact. "I'm not to blame for everything?" his younger ex whispered. "That's a huge belief you're asking me to change."

-Stand-

Sanada wrapped his arms tighter around the person lying next to him. No barriers between them. Just their bodies keeping each other warm. He heard Syuusuke's breath hitch before a contented sigh filled the room.

"Gen," the other whispered.

"Hmm?"

"What does this mean?"

He wished he had an answer, but didn't know how to respond. What could he say that wouldn't be the completely wrong thing?

The fine line had been crossed. Now they needed to draw a new one in order to establish what the future was going forward.

"What do you want it to mean?" he asked, hoping to get out of answering by deferring the question to the other.

Syuusuke hummed. "I don't know. I honestly haven't thought about what I wanted in my life aside from Ryoma." There was a pause. "And I guess you."

His heart fluttered. "What matters to you most though?"

Sanada was playing a dangerous game. He could have his heart broken at any moment and he'd have to pretend to be fine with it. Somehow, he had the feeling Syuusuke wouldn't stop him from helping with their youngest ex.

The burden of taking care of someone so hurt shouldn't be carried alone.

"I don't know," Syuusuke answered again. "I'm afraid that if I choose one over the other, it'll be wrong. I don't want to hurt anyone and lose out because I made a decision before I was ready."

He thought for a moment. "How about, we focus on getting Ryoma help. I'll still come around. I want this to continue, but I don't want to label it as something more until we're certain it's going to last."

It was an awful idea.

"Okay," Syuusuke agreed.

But he was going to do his best to make it all work.

-Stand-

They were driving home when his cell phone rang. It was past ten at night. Ryoma didn't recognize the number, but answered anyway.

"Hello?"

"Mister Echizen? This is Mister Evans from the Law Offices of Evans and Bates. I'm calling about your case from a year ago that we handled. Recently, some new evidence has come into light that could potentially set your attackers free."

"What?" he breathed.

"The lawyer for the defense has filed a motion for a new trial. We're reviewing everything on our end, but the defense might have a strong case. We need you to come to America again and review everything with us one more time. If the motion is approved, there will be a brand new trial with a new jury. If that's the case, then we'll also need you to testify again."

His vision blurred. He wasn't certain he had heard everything correctly. A new trial? Testify?

"I'll see what I can do," he whispered.

Ryoma couldn't breathe properly. Tears filled his vision. All he could feel were their hands on him again. Mocking him. Telling him that they'd walk free.

"Ryoma, what's wrong?" he heard in the distance.

He desperately clawed at the hands holding him down. They were there with him. Ryoma didn't want any of this. Hadn't asked for any of this.

Someone help me.

To be continued...