Chapter 11: The Feeling of Loss

Authors Note: Another big delay but should be updating quicker now.

What to say about this chapter though. We all knew this was coming, enjoy the roller coaster.

The sight of Lucas sitting alone at his table brings a smile to my face. I can see through the corner of my eye that when I start to smile Haley gives me a look that is filled with faint hope. I guess any hope that I was going to keep smiling fade when my eyes land on the empty spot that should be Riley. Poor Haley looks so sad when my smile is replaced by a scowl that I want to go over to her and just hold her.

But of course I don't. I can't be the person she needs me to be.

Of course even though I know that, she sure as hell can't see it. She clings to this idea that the guy she fell in love with is coming back. But that Nathan is gone. I feel so lost all the time, and I know that if I simply talked to her about it I'd feel better.

But of course I don't. I just ignore her.

I can hear Tim yammering on about some party that's going on this weekend, but I can't bring myself to actually listen to him. I mean how I could possibly do that when the reason for all my problems is looking as pathetic as he is.

He's back to sitting by himself at lunch and his pathetic emo look is plastered all over his face 24/7. The past three days I can't remember a time when he wasn't frowning, and for me that's the only satisfying thought of the day. I still haven't been able to talk to my mom. Which is bull shit because Dad said she would be calling me this week. I'm sure he'll have a good excuse when I talk to him about it.

He always has a good excuse.

I wish I could talk to Riley but god knows where she is anymore. She's been locked in her room the past three day's. She just sits in her room crying all day. I can't believe he would do that to her either but get over it. She's yet another person whose life has been ruined by Lucas. And to think that I used to be friends with him makes me sick.

I can still remember the moment when my dad told me the truth about him, and it still pisses me off now as much as it did then. Maybe that's the worst part of the whole thing. The loser takes up so much of my energy. And for his sake let's hope losing his slutty girlfriend will make him go away.

And he better believe that if he doesn't go away things are going to get much worse.

It's the funniest thing.

Maybe funny is a sick way to describe it, but at the moment I could care less.

2 months ago I would have paid people money to have ignored me the way they have these past two days. Back then basically the only peace I found was the peace I got when I was ignored.

But now the alone time just makes me think of Brooke, and the look she gave me the last time I saw her. I just really don't even fathom how things could have gotten this bad, this quickly.

It's like one day I'm lying in bed with the girl of my dreams and the next day I'm chasing the same girl down the hallway.

It was such a normal morning.

The sun was still shining. The girl I loved was still beside me. And then at the opening of one door it all came crashing down.

Were just sitting in the front seat of her car, and she's got her head on my shoulder. She's quietly singing along to whatever terrible dancing music she's got playing, and if anyone else was doing it I would have found the music absolutely terrible. But with her it was perfect. I'm only taken out of my day dreaming when she moves from my shoulder and plants a kiss on my cheek.

"Come on boyfriend you do not want to be late for Bio."I huff at her and she playfully pushes my chest before getting out of the car. She starts walking towards the school and I get out and quickly catch up to her.

"You're sure in a hurry to get to social sciences baby."I put my arm on her shoulder as we walk.

"The way I see it, I've got to burn the next couple hours I might as well start now." This girl has so little faith in herself it hurts. When I stop she stops as well and looks back at me.

"You shouldn't think so little of yourself Brooke." She rolls her eyes and I know right there she doesn't believe me.

"Lucas you're the smart one. Sometimes the stuff you say just goes right over my head. We are who we are and I wouldn't have it any other way." She then grabs my hand keeps pulling me towards the school. It's kind of funny how much time she spends dragging me places. I wonder whether or not if this was a television show the people watching would think I was like a dog.

And as I imagine Brooke pulling me through a park on a dog leash I start to laugh. Of course since I'm laughing about something in my head she turns and looks at me and starts laughing herself.

"What is so funny?" She has such a happy look to her face.

I wonder what would have happened if I told her what I was thinking. She might have made a dirty joke and got me to skip our class to go fool around. Of course that's just me now dreaming about what could have been.

Of course I didn't explain it because I thought that I would have more time. You always think you have more time.

"Nothing important." She playfully pushed me again before pulling the door to the school open.

As we walk in the door it's not hard to notice the staring is back. I find that weird because I didn't do anything to warrant further anger or staring. But then again maybe Nathans head exploded in anger and they blame me. Clearly Brooke notices as she whispers in my ear.

"What did you do this time boyfriend?" She makes sure to get really close to my ear and speaks very seductively when she says it.

"I honestly don't know Brooke."

"Well whatever if it's a show they want." After saying this she grabs the back of my neck and kisses me.

I wonder now whether I will get a chance to kiss her again. I wonder whether or not I will ever feel the softness of her lips on mine again.

Will that be the last time I'll get to feel the electric spark that runs across my body when were close. If it was I should have savoured it more.

It's just like I said. You always think you have more time.

She pulls back far quicker then I would have liked. "That was quite the show pretty girl." She smiles and goes to give me another kiss on the cheek.

"Well isn't this cozy." I don't know which part is creepier about Peyton's arrival. Maybe it was how sneaky she was in approaching us. Or maybe it was the borderline psychotic look she had on her face when she spoke.

"What do you want Peyton?"I said it with pure malice which earned me a swipe from Brooke

"Lucas be nice." She gently rubbed my arm before moving towards Peyton for what I can only assume was going to be a hug.

"Funny coming from you Brooke." Brooke stopped in her movements like she'd been slapped in the face.

"What does that mean Peyton?" Brooke's voice is a mixture of hurt and a tiny tinge of anger.

"Well clearly you're not that nice or you wouldn't have all the problems in your relationship that you do."

"What problems Peyton."She looked at me with a worried look. She must have thought I had confided in Peyton or something" What are you talking about?"

"Oh like you don't know what I'm talking about, "Her look is one of extreme confidence. She thinks she has something on Brooke and that scares the hell out of me.

"I really don't Peyton so why don't you just spit it out so me and Luke can go to class." Brooke steps back and moves closer to me. I try and comfort her by rubbing her back.

"Well first of all he'll be going to class with me. That tends to be what people do after they make love." The moment the words come out I feel Brookes back go rigid. It's like a bomb went off right in that hallway. All the students that had began to gather around go deathly silent.

"What are you saying Peyton?" There's more anger in her voice now.

"Me and Lucas were together last night. And that wasn't the first time." Peyton makes a step towards Brooke, and I move forward a little in an attempt to shield her. Brooke moves quick and gets around me and right into Peyton's face.

"Fuck you Peyton Lucas wouldn't do that, so why don't you..."

"Why don't you ask him whether we have. "She looks towards me and starts laughing to me like were in some kind of sick inside joke." he laughs about how stupid and gullible you are all the time."

"Why are you doing this?" I don't like this tone on Brooke. Its like she's defeated. It sounds like shes conceding defeat in this one. I want her to fight. I need her to not believe this.

"Why am I doing this?" She puts her hands in the air and gives Brooke a look like she's a complete idiot. "After all this time you still can't see it."

"See what?"

"You're a joke. A really slutty joke. Did you honestly think Lucas would be interested in you?" Brooke then turns around and I can see the tears falling down her face and I pull her into me to try and take the pain away.

"Lucas, please tell me she's not telling the truth..." She looks up from my chest when she says it and her face looks so afraid I'm in pain.

"Baby you have to believe me." I put my hands on either side of her face and looked her in the eyes. Her eyes were so scared and I just wanted to make her believe that was I was saying was the truth. "Nothing she's saying is..."But before I could finish Peyton stuck a piece of paper in between us. I couldn't see the paper but the moment it was in front of Brooke's face she pulled away from me. I pushed the paper away so I could see Brookes face again, but when I saw her face I regretted it immediately. She looked broken. The tears were now flowing and her eyes looked at me with such hurt I wanted to cry.

"Oh my god I can't believe this." She must have used her last bit of energy to pull herself away from me and started running down the hallway. As she ran away I quickly chased after her. Just as I reached the door I looked back and saw Peyton standing back there amongst the train wreck that was our argument. She had the most unnerving smile on her face.

"Baby, please don't leave. You have to let me explain. She didn't stop though, and when she reached her car she quickly opened the door and got in. "Don't do this Brooke. I love you she's lying to you. You have to trust me Brooke please." She turned her face towards me and it nearly broke my heart to see how many tears were flowing down her cheeks. Even worse than the tears was the look in her eyes. She looked at me like she didn't know me. She stared at me for a second and her mouth opened but before she could say anything a voice broke the air.

"I can't believe you're this pathetic Brooke. Like its bad enough you got screwed over by the biggest loser in the school. But to actually stay and listen, it's just so pathetic." I turned around to respond to him, and the moment my eyes moved away from her, I felt the car move and with that she sped out of the parking lot.

I felt nothing but empty with her departure. Standing felt so tiring in that moment and before I knew it I was on my knees on the ground.

"I'm not going to lie to you Lucas. That was hilarious."He walked up beside me and sat on the curb next to me.

"I'm glad my life falling apart is so amusing to you." I'm crying at this point, and when he hears me sniffle he lets out a laugh.

"It really was."

"I didn't ever do anything to you Nathan, why don't you just fucking leave me the hell alone."

"You know exactly what you did, and every fucking time you say that I hate you a little more." His voice isn't arrogant anymore. It's filled with his usual hate.

"Then how about for once you not be so god damn cryptic and just fucking say it. Just say what the fuck I did to you. We used to be great friends Nathan, what the hell happened to you."

"My life was perfect until you caused all this shit."

"What fucking shit have I caused, I haven't done a..."

"You ruined my parents marriage and made fucking Riley this broken." He yells it so loud it almost hurt my ear.

"What the hell does that mean? I've never even met your mother." What the fuck is it with people freaking out at me today about things I haven't even come close to doing.

"You fucking liar." He grabs the collar of my shirt and lifts me up from my knees.

"Are you crazy?" He goes to punch me but his fist stops half way.

"If I wasn't on probation I would beat your face in so consider yourself a lucky bastard." And with that he walks away and I was left standing in the Tree parking lot with nothing left.

Seeing her drive away is a picture I can't seem to get out of my head. I haven't seen her since then which makes it all the more terrible. My house has been horrible to sleep in now that my mom is gone for the next 6 weeks. It's only been two nights and I already feel like I'm crawling on the walls.

It feels like I've called her a million times, but she never picks up the phone. And every time I stop by her house she shuts off her lights and ignores the ringing at the door. Her car just sits on the front lawn of her house. Short of breaking in I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do.

Sitting alone at this table never felt as empty as it does now. The burden of just getting up in the morning is almost too much for me. If nothing else it would be nice to escape the constant stares of my asshole brother. It's in these moments that Haley's loss is the greatest of burdens.

So I use what little strength I have and start walking. It doesn't seem like I've been walking for that long, but before I know it I'm out front of Brooke's door. Her car is still parked on the front lawn so I guess she still hasn't left her house. I ring the doorbell in another hopeless attempt to see her.

After ten minutes of waiting I accept again that she doesn't want to see me. I'm really not feeling up to going back to school so I start heading for the river court.

The rivercourt has always been like a sanctuary for me and let's hope it can help me today. As I pull out my iPod and lay down in the middle of the court, I can't help but wish I didn't listen to such sad music. When you're up there great but when you're down not so much. I felt none of the relief that I usually feel when I lay here listening to my music. It all just felt so empty.

I try to think back to last night at dinner, and how even though my mom was leaving after we were done it was still a great time. Me and Haley played the part of two best friends for my mom and from what I could tell she bought it.

"So Lucas you're sure you're going to be alright without me for a few weeks. You tell me right now if there's even a little..."

"I really want this for you Mom. " She nodded at me." So no more debate it ok?"

"Alright." She gave me a smile and then turned back towards Keith and they started into a conversation. I stopped eating and just took the time to breathe in the moment. Haley and Brooke were talking and laughing to my left. They both looked so happy. It really did suck that Haley was so miserable, but I don't think there was a person in the world that would have thought I should trust her again. Maybe after a time of her being honest and normal Haley we could return to a somewhat normal behaviour. I just wondered how deep Nathan's claws went in.

Maybe the Haley I knew was gone. Maybe I would never get to listen to crummy bands play with her anymore. Or play miniature golf on the roof. Those things just seemed so far away.

Brooke must have sensed my brooding because she squeezed my hand and gave me the prettiest smile. I returned her with a smile and she seemed content, though she kept holding my hand.

"So Brooke when I return from Italy we'll have to have your parents over for dinner. I love to meet them." Haley immediately started coughing on whatever food she happened to be chewing at the moment.

"Mom please…"

"No everything is fine Luke." She squeezed my hand a little "Ill definitely have to try and get that arranged."

"Did I say something…"

"No Karen these two are just such drama queens." There was a really awkward 5 minutes after that. Each of us completely engrossed in our food and no one quite sure what to say. Of course Haley decided to end it.

"So… that presentation in English was a real disaster today Lucas." And with that everyone broke out of their silence and started laughing. Once everyone had returned to conversation i gave Haley an appreciative smile, and she returned with a smile of her own. The rest of the dinner went really well, and before I knew it I was saying my goodbyes to my mom, and then Keith drove her and Haley away.

"You ok Luke" She wrapped her tiny body around me and I felt far more comforted by it then I should have.

"Yeah I just feel weird I guess." I give her a kiss on the forehead and pull her closer.

"That's ok broody. Any normal person is sad when their mom goes away." While I'm sure she thought she could get away with making that comment, I wasn't going to ignore it.

"How does it make you feel?"

"Lonely." She looked up at me with a half sad smile."It isn't a feeling I'd wish on my worst enemy."

"Not even Riley?"She let out a chuckle

"Not even Riley."

"Well I guess you're a better person then me because I'd definitely wish this on Nathan."She once again started laughing at me, and once again I simply loved the fact that I could make her feel even a quarter of the happiness that she made me feel.

"I can't believe you ever doubted it."After a few more moments of holding her, she pulled back and gave me a mischievous smile. "I have a way we can prove who the better is."

"Is it legal pretty girl?"

"Well I don't know whether city by laws allow for a golf course on the roof boyfriend." I give her a confused look.

"You lost me."

"Beat me on your little gold course upstairs."

"You wanna play mini golf?" Who would have ever thought Brooke would have ever wanted to play mini golf

"I want to prove I'm the best. The rest is just the method." I pretended to think about her request.

"But beating you will be so easy, I need a little more incentive."

"Well you sure are confident."

"I have a gift" She smacked me in the chest playfully

"Fine, fine. If you win you can do whatever you want to me for an hour." She seductively ran her hand up my chest, and then gave my neck a kiss before turning around and walking up the stairs.

"I was thinking more like you make me a sandwich…but that'll work" I quickly ran up the stairs after her.

Of course I won.

Now normally I would have let her win but the thoughts I had for that hour were simply too magnificent to pass on. Had I of known that might have been the last touches I would have with her I might have kept her awake.

But her tired body did fall asleep last night. And then after holding her for awhile I to fell asleep.

It's all just so meaningless without her.

I start thinking that maybe I should get the old tent I have and pitch it on her lawn. Maybe that would show her. Maybe that would make her see. But before I can start planning my crazy stalking I'm interrupted by a shadow over me.

I've been shocked by her arrival so many times I really shouldn't be surprised it's the shadow of my lovely sister. I sit up and take my head phones out. It's not until this moment that I actually take her in. This is not the Riley I know. She's sporting a big hoody, and she is makeup less. Her eyes are what really get me. They are so sad, but that's not the real feature of them that gets me. It's the black eye she has that really catches my attention. Of course we declared war a long time ago. There was never any kindness showed to me when I was sad. So in what world does she deserve better.

"What are you doing here? You come to gloat?" She doesn't say anything. She just stands there staring at me. "Are you on drugs or something?" She still doesn't say anything and I'm about to say something else rude, when she nearly jumps forward and wraps her arms around me. I try to get her off me but she's clinging to me like a small child. She's crying uncontrollably at this point and I give up my resistance. I just stand there while she uses all her might to hold onto me. When her crying finally starts calming down and he Hercules grip lets up for a second I pull away quickly. The moment I do and I see her face again I see the pain etched on her. It must be the human side of me that feels bad for pulling away. That's the only explanation why I feel so bad when I pull away from her.

"I'm so sorry Lucas." She steps towards me and I step back again.

"You can't possibly say that to me. Not after everything you've done." She's got some balls saying that

"You don't understand Lucas, I wasn't thinking." She's reaching her arms towards me. She looks so desperate for comfort, and once again I feel uncomfortable about how much I wish I could help her in that moment.

"You weren't thinking? Really that's what you're going to go with."

"I know its all bull shit but I'm your sister." Well that one caught my attention.

"What now were related because you feel bad?" She looked hurt by that comment.

"I know that I hurt you."

"Hurt me?" I step back from her. "You two have destroyed me. I have nothing left. Don't you understand that? You spent your entire fucking life striving for this moment. So congrats, you finally got your wish."

"I'll fix this I promise you." She's crying so the words come out all chocked.

"You've done enough."

"Please Lucas I promise you I'll fix this." She looks so worn out when she says it I feel myself feeling bad for her again. Of course all I have to do is remember every other conversation I've ever had with her and that feeling goes away.

"I'm done with this." As I start to turn around she kneels down on court "And by the way you should get daddy to take care of that black eye for you." She had her head down when I said it and I could hear that she said something, but her voice was too low to make it out. "At least speak loud enough that I can hear you."

"It doesn't matter." She sounded so defeated.

"Fine." If she's only going to speak in code I'm done with this.

"What if I said it was Dan? Would that make a difference?" She looks at me with hurt eyes.

"What was Dan?" I know the answer to the question but I guess my mind needs a minute to absorb it. I mean she's supposed to one of the golden children. Throughout my whole life of all the things I was sure of one of them was that Dan loved those two.

"The reason I have a black eye."

"I'd say that was the first thing in our whole lives we have in common."

"You're my brother we have more than that."

"Doesn't matter now does it."

"It's all that matters." She nearly whispers it.

"Well I'm going to take a lesson from you when you saw Dan beating me up." And I turned around and started walking away.

"Please don't leave." I stopped at the edge of the court and looked back.

"Whatever this is you know I don't believe you."

"What can I say to make you believe me?" Her voice is pleading with me.

"It's not about what you say. It's about what you do. Try doing something nice for a bit." Her face seemed to light up in hope.

"And then you'll trust me." She looked at me with so much hope it was tough to say anything rude in return. But I had to.

"Doubtful." When her face dropped at my comment I felt bad. I felt far worse then I should of and because of that I felt inclined to say something less mean. "But it would be a start." It looked like the hope had returned to her face after that. And with that I turned around and continued walking away.

This time she didn't stop me.

My room never seemed as empty as it did now.

Her smile used to bring me out of these moods, but now it was the fact I might not see her smile again that made me in this mood. It sucked it took this moment for me to realize that the only picture I had of her was one she had taken on my phone. You'd think I'd have huge boxes full of her, but it's just another thing I failed at.

I tried reading but realized quickly in that was going to work. So I ended up just laying there. After what seemed like hours of just laying there I finally fell asleep.

I'm awoken by the feeling of someone rubbing up and down my arm. I turn over and see her. She has her hair in a bun and her eyes look worn out. But to me she looks perfect. I don't say a word just gently caress her cheek before I kiss her. Her hand finds its way to the back of my neck and she forces her way on top of me, never taking her lips from me as she moves. I'm running my hands up her body and trying to remember every inch of her. The feel of her smooth toned body is like heaven and I try to get it all in.

I need more of her and so I grab at the bottom of her shirt and pull it over her head. When it's off I run my hands up her chest and she jumps a little at the contact.

"It tickles."We both share before she reconnects our lip more forcefully this time. After a few seconds her tongue begs for entrance and gladly oblige.

"Brooke I need you so much" I move my lips to her neck and start leaving passionate kisses on her neck which causes her to let out a moan.

"Then take me Lucas." That's all the encouragement I needed to move back and take my pants off. She does the same and I return to her lips and as were kissing she grabs me and pumps me until I'm on the brink of exploding. I grab her hand and force her to stop.

"Not like that baby." She smiles up at me before grabbing me and guiding me into her. As always its an out of body experience to be together with Brooke in this way. I start thrusting slowly in to her at first. It's never enough for me though. I need to feel more of her. I try to be gentle at first but she starts lifting her hips in return which makes me start to lose control.

"Harder baby. Make me cum." I hold with all my might not to lose complete control. I refuse to fail her. I thrust harder into her and continue assaulting her lips. Her hips meet mine and I can feel her starting to tighten on me so I move even faster which brings her over the edge. As she falls over the edge she puts both her hands on my face and kisses me with so much passion I go over as well and release in her. I use all my remaining strength to hold myself above her. My whole body wants to collapse but I need to see her.

Her face is complete bliss. A dimpled smile from ear to ear makes me feel better than I have since I last saw her.

She starts rubbing her hands up and down my side and I finally lose my strength falling beside her on the bed. She quickly scoots closer to me and rests her hand on my chest and nuzzles her head under my arm. As we lay together I feel I have to ask the question that's been plaguing me since I woke up.

"Is this a dream Brooke?"

"Does this feel like a dream broody?" She's rubbing her hand up and down my chest.

"Everything feels like a dream when I'm with you." I reach for her other hand and hold it tight to me.

"Then why waste time pondering the unknown?"

"Because I need to know you're actually going to be here when I wake up."

"I'm always with you Luke." She looks at me with so much love that I believe it.

"So this is a dream." I try not feeling sad, but I can't help myself. I really wanted this to be real.

"Don't worry Lucas. Everything will be better in the morning. Just know in your heart that I love you with everything I have." The confidence in her eyes makes me believe her. I let go of her hand and put my arms around her.

"If I fall asleep then this all goes away and I'm back to life without you."

"I already told you that I loved you."

"What if you never talk to me?"

"Make me."

"I love you so much Brooke." I hold onto her a little harder. Not hard enough to cause her to be uncomfortable but I need to hold her because if I let go she might be gone.

"I love you too broody." I tried to fight the overwhelming urge to fall asleep. I tried so hard to just hold onto her and never let go.

"Stop fighting Luke."She kissed me on the chest before scurrying back into my chest

"I will get this back I promise you Brooke."

"That's my Luke." She inched upwards and kissed me on the lips. I put my hand on the back of her neck and kissed her harder. She pulled back and looked at me "It's time for school Lucas."

"What are you talking about Brooke?"

This time her voice wasn't hers anymore it was Keith's and I was lying alone in my bed.

"Are you ok Lucas?"

"Yeah I'm ok." I'm really upset that I'm out of the dream. "What are you doing here so early?"

"Your mom and I decided I might as well just stay here the whole time she's gone."

"What about the last two days."

"To be honest I thought I'd give you some alone time before I went all sheriff on this place. Don't tell your mother."

"Well I'm glad you're here Keith, it should be fun." I tried to sound excited but I was just so depressed it didn't come through.

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong buddy." He looked at me with so much love I nearly started to cry. Something I'm doing way too much lately.

"Brooke basically broke up with me."

"What happened you two were so happy a couple days ago? It was practically gross how happy you two were." He slaps me on the shoulder. I know he's trying and that means a lot.

"Some people said some lies that made me look really bad."

"Well if people are telling lies maybe Brooke should here the truth." I get up and start pacing around the room.

"But she won't see me." He puts his hand on my shoulder to stop my pacing.

"Then make her see you." He looks me right in eyes when he says it.

"How do I do that?" I flop back down onto the bed.

"You're a smart and determined guy. You won't have any trouble Lucas." He sat down beside me on the bed. "She needs to hear the truth. No matter what happens in life, the people we love always need to hear the truth."

"Thanks Uncle Keith." I smile up at him because I mean it. He doesn't have to be a good guy. He could have very easily turned into Dan but he chose a different path. And I love him like a father for that.

"I'm always here for you Lucas." And with that he left the room and I had to start getting ready for school.

It's funny how long it takes to get ready for something when you don't care. I used to get ready so quickly on days when she wasn't here. Just so I could see her a little sooner. But now each article of clothing feels like such a lengthy task. When I'm finally ready I grab my bag and walk out the door.

It feels like days since I've felt alive. But the moment I see her car parked out front the house it's like I'm reborn.

I should walk calmly towards her car. That's what I should do though. What I actually do is start sprinting to her car. When I reach her door I bend down and look in the window. She's sitting back in her seat. She looks over at me and gives me a little smile. That's all the recognition I need to get in the car. Once I'm in the car I can't seem to find the words to start the conversation. We just sit there in the car staring at each other.

Her eyes don't sparkle with the happiness and love I'm used to seeing when I look into them. She just looks so damn sad that I almost want to cry.

"I missed you Brooke." She gives me a half smile

"I don't know what to say. Everything is so fucked up." I reach my hand out and hang onto her hand.

"What Peyton said was a lie Brooke you have to believe me. I would never…"

"I know Lucas." She must see the confusion on my face because she begins to speak again. "Riley told me."

"She what?" I know she said she would fix it but in what world did I actually even entertain the idea she'd actually do it.

"She came over last night and rang the door bell for so long I couldn't take it anymore. I thought it was you and even after everything that I heard I still missed you. So I thought what the hell I'd go down stairs and yell at you for awhile. At least that way I'd get to see you." She put her hand on my cheek and I could see a tear beginning to form in her eye."

"But it was Riley." Brooke let out a laugh and as she always does she makes me smile.

"We talked for what awhile. Well actually she told me she and Peyton had hatched the whole scheme, and then I yelled at her for the rest of the time."

"I'm so sorry Brooke."

"When I was done kicking her out of my house, I jumped in my car and drove here."

"Why didn't you call me or tell me you were here." The moment I finished she moved the consol up and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm an idiot." She choked out.

"Brooke don't say that, you're not an idiot."

"Yes I am Luke. I just believed her and ran out." She hugs me even harder and I reciprocate by kissing her on the top of the head. "I felt so stupid after Riley finished saying her bullshit I couldn't bear to think about how bad you must feel." She's crying so hard that I can feel wetness through my shirt.

"Brooke…"

"No Luke let me finish. You have never done a bad thing to me the entire time I've known you and I just…I just threw you away. When I think about how alone you must have felt I can't…" I couldn't take hearing her so sad anymore so I Stopped her the only way I knew how.

I kissed her. I kissed her with everything I had. Every movement of our kiss felt like a part of me that was coming back. A piece of my soul that I thought I had lost was rebuilding itself.

"I love you Brooke Davis." I get out in between kisses. She stops kissing me and moves her head back to stare into my eyes.

"I love you more than anything Lucas. You're it for me Lucas. If I ever lost you then I don't know what I'd do."

"You're never going to lose me pretty girl. There isn't minute I don't think about you. I don't care how unhealthy that is because I love you too. Promise me you'll never leave me again."

"I'll never leave Lucas." And with that I return to worshipping her lips.

God I missed her.

Authors Note: Thanks for reading everyone, and hope your excited to see the fall out in the next chapter. Next chapter will be some fluff though as well.

Tree Hill Lover: Riley is hopefully even more Human now

Softballer33 : Thanks for the review

BornagainBrucasFan: Thanks for the review and the PM's. The argument is mainly over now.

Brucas Lover: Fuck Peyton is right