AN: Sorry for the delay on this chapter. Updates usually happen on Sundays, and last Sunday I was busy. Plus, I didn't have time last week to write as much. This week I much more time and should get regular updates back on time for this story and Black Out. This is the chapter you'll finally get some tiny insight into the "twist" of the story. Hope you guys like it. Please leave me your thoughts in a review and thanks for reading.
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CHAPTER 11.
Her back was facing him as he watched his brother caress the clearly upset Caroline. The piercing eyes belonging to his baby brother only meant one thing: apologize and he knew he needed to. Taking a few steps closer cautiously knowing the sort of storm Caroline could create when within her path, he cleared his throat.
"I do hope you came out here to apologize brother." Stefan barked.
"I'm sorry." He uttered.
Nothing. Caroline remained turned away, while Stefan rolled his eyes.
"With more meaning." His brother ordered.
Sighing, Damon pushed his hands into his pockets. "Caroline, I'm sorry. What I said was completely uncalled for. I'm an ass, but you already knew that." He shook his head.
Her swollen red eyes appeared and he hated to see her like this. Seeing any girl cry made him feel awful, even Caroline. She approached him slowly and he waited for the palm of her hand to come swiping at his face. Never the one to fail at making her feelings known, he prepared for her wrath.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" She asked.
"What?" Damon responded shocked at how calm she was.
"You may be an ass, but you're not hopeless or heartless." Caroline stated. "How could you give up every thing you worked so hard to become and throw it all away?"
This side of Caroline was a bit alarming. When it came to any topic pertaining to him only bitterness rolled off her tongue, whether it was speaking about him or to him. Now she was calm and showing empathy. He glanced at Stefan who shrugged his shoulders.
"You don't understand." He mumbled.
"No, I don't. I don't know what it's like to suffer from an addiction." She spoke trying hard not to raise her voice at him. "But I do know that you were willing to make a commitment to my best friend. That's why you asked her to marry you, right?"
Pain struck his entire body thinking of her. Any mention of Elena now did this, but the thought of a wedding that was never going to happen really killed him. He remained composed, but Caroline was digging deep.
"And you were ready to make a vow that you would do anything for her no matter what." She continued.
"I don't need a vow to make that known." Damon spat. "I do anything for her anyways."
"Then what are you doing, Damon?" A tear fell from Caroline's eye. "You did it once before. You're better than this. You don't need alcohol. You think you do, but you don't. Elena proved to you that you could resist temptation. Prove it again."
"It's not that simple." He lowered his voice and looked away.
He had always been fucked up in the head and Elena's death had confirmed how fucked up he truly was. It didn't occur to him her life would be taken so soon and so drastically. He never imagined having to struggle again, but without her by his side it seemed impossible to stay strong. Didn't she know the only reason he was still standing was because of her? Gone into the another world, he felt lost without her guidance.
"Man up Salvatore!" Caroline stated firmly. "You can. Elena may not be with us anymore, but I refuse to watch her work go down the drain. You will fight this and you will stop drinking or so help me God..."
"Caroline." Stefan came up and touched her shoulder. She was shaking and he saw how mad she had become talking about this. He hadn't realized that his decision would do this to her. "Let's go back inside and eat."
"I need a drink." She moaned and her eyes darted back to him. "Great, the reformed alcoholic has led me to drink."
"Come on." Stefan begged her to follow him inside.
Leaving them to head in first, Damon stayed outside attempting to calm down. He hated how much people cared about his well being. Most of his life all he cared about was himself, until she came along. Bringing him into a new light, he opened his eyes to see the sort of impact he had made and was making on those around him. Elena was a breath of fresh air. He felt reborn with her and now he felt didn't know how to feel. Numb and lost were the only two things he could understand.
Every thing Caroline had said though was right. He promised he would do anything for her. He go to the ends of the Earth for her and yet he couldn't do the one thing he swore to rid. Completely disgusted with himself, Damon knew he had to kick his old habit again and for good, but he couldn't do this alone. It killed him to ask for help.
Feeling more relaxed, he turned to head back into the bistro. As he turned, his body collided with someone and he stumbled forward.
"Sorry." Her tiny voice apologized.
"You're fine." Damon responded brushing his hands down his suit.
Short and petite, the brunette girl with a dark complexion dropped her eyes to the ground and quickly walked through the doors. He peered his stare rendering the idea he had seen her before. For all he knew she could have been a one night stand back in his carefree days. He had been with a lot of women prior to Elena. He could only assume that was why he recognized her.
Walking in behind, she darted for a table in the back corner. She was an odd little thing, but he didn't care to wonder what her deal was. He had to go back to facing his brother and Caroline on this lovely afternoon.
"I ordered you a ham and cheese panini." Stefan said as he sat down. "We are running a bit short on time so I figured I speed up the process."
"Whatever," he rolled his eyes. "I'm not really that hungry anymore."
As Caroline sipped her wine greedily, she nearly spat it back out in her glass. She leaned to her right looking past him and directly at the back corner where the girl who had run into him was sitting.
"What's she doing here?" Caroline whispered loudly.
"Who?" His brother asked.
The complaining never ended when it came to her. Trying to tune the sound of her voice out, he found himself being drawn in at the mention of Elena's name.
"I never understood why Elena even talked to her." She said disgusted.
"Wait, what?" Damon questioned her statement.
Spinning around, it was obvious three sets of eyes were upon the girl in the far corner. Was that how he remembered her? Was she with Elena before? It was hard to tell considering part of their relationship prior to being exclusive was mostly under the influence for him. Some of that time was a blur, while the memories he really wanted to remember stayed with him; all the good and even the bad. Little reminders of what he had been, what he was becoming again.
"I guess she use to come into her work from time to time. They talked." Caroline filled him in vaguely.
"That hardly sounds like a crime, blondie." Damon snapped still glaring at the girl.
"You staring at her like she is a flashing neon sign is though." She hissed through her teeth and nudged his shoulder. Breaking his stare, he turned to face his brother and Caroline. "It wasn't just talking. When it came to that girl Elena became...weird."
"Weird?" He repeated her word choice.
Leaning forward in her chair, she had his full attention. Caroline shook her blonde locks and proceeded to share, "Like weird, weird." She mumbled and cleared her throat. "Her name is Bonnie, but lot of people around here refer to her as Bon Bon. Rumor has it she was in a psych ward for a few years."
"For what?" Damon asked.
"For thinking she was some long lost descendant of a witch clan, I don't know. All I know is she thought she had these powers and would go up to people on the streets freaking them out back in the day." Her voice was low as she told the story. A few times Caroline glanced over Damon's shoulder at the girl. "She lost her job because of it. She went completely nuts and was taken away."
"And now she's back?" He nodded his head. All this information made him want a drink to help process it. Instead he tried to push the craving away. "Is she better?"
"She must be or she's on some medication." Caroline responded. "They don't let people out after standing on a table in the middle of the restaurant holding a knife chanting some crazy shit and then claiming not to remember any of it."
From a distance all he saw was an innocent, shy girl, but now he worried he was a poor judge of character. Caroline had a knack for embellishing any situation though. Maybe this Bon Bon girl wasn't as Looney Tunes as she made her out to be. However, it didn't explain why Elena was connected to her.
"So explain to me why Elena talked to her and was weird about this lunatic bitch?" He asked curiously.
"Every Thursday she came into Elena's work for lunch. She sit at the same table, order the same thing, at least that's what Elena told me." She explained. "The good hearted person Elena was felt bad for her and would sit and talk to her if it wasn't busy."
Elena did have a soft spot for the disturbed and weak. He would know, he was one of them. It didn't occur to him she did it so often though.
"Bless her heart." Caroline sighed. "I guess Bon Bon, I mean Bonnie would tell her about her so called powers and spells. Elena would come home sometimes telling me all of this. I swear she started to get wrapped up in that crazy bitch's banter."
"Elena believing in that shit?" Damon remarked with disgust.
"Even I agree that sounds a little far fetched, Care." Stefan added.
A small grin broke upon her face at the mention of her nickname. Damon rolled his eyes at the two of them sharing their moment. This was no time for flirting. What she was telling him did not sound like Elena at all. She was realistic. What this girl apparently believed she could do and tried to do was the opposite of Elena. However, what bothered him the most about all of this was finding out this bit of information now. For as long as he knew Elena there were no secrets between them. She had made that clear. Now he was wondering what else she had kept from him.
"When did this girl go into the psych ward again?" He tried to piece it all together.
"A while ago." She answered. "Apparently she's calmed down her act, but still is crazy as ever. Don't worry Elena played nice with her post-ward. The last time I saw that crazy bitch was a few years back right before you guys started dating."
A distant memory was floating back. Even under the influence he did recall a time when he had seen this mystery, crazy girl before.
"I'm surprised Elena never told you about her." Caroline mentioned. "Every Thursday after her shift she tell me about what crazy stories that girl shared with her. I mean maybe she did and you just don't remember considering you were drunk half the time."
And her snarky comments about his past and his addiction were back. Locking his jaw and biting his tongue from saying something he would regret and have to apologize for later, Damon glared at her. So what if his memory was a little hazy?
"Watch it blondie," Damon threatened. "We don't want to ruin your make up anymore than it already is."
Touching her face, Caroline pouted and grabbed for Stefan's wine. She downed it quickly and her cheeks flushed a soft pink. His initial buzz from early was completely gone. Now he was as sober as it got and he hated it. In this moment he envied Caroline as she tried to wash away her feelings with booze.
"Like you said, I'm sure she was just humoring the poor girl." Damon leaned back in his chair. "I highly doubt she actually believed any of that shit."
"I don't know." Caroline shook her head. "She sort of got defensive a few times with me about her. It was weird, but then again Elena was never one to walk away from a damaged soul."
It didn't take a rocket scientist to understand the girl wasn't the only damaged soul she was referring to. Talking to Caroline was like a never ending roller coaster. One moment she could be civil and the next she was out for blood. Any chance she got to jab him verbally she made it happened.
Feeling annoyed, he stood up abruptly. "I've had enough of this story time. If you'll excuse me, this damaged soul needs to use the bathroom." Damon stated. Stefan pushed out his chair looking stern and ready to pounce. "Calm down baby bro, you searched me remember? No forbidden substance is on me. Now, if you'll excuse me and please try to refrain from speaking too highly of me while I'm gone."
As he made his way to the back of the bistro, he glanced over at Bonnie, Bon Bon, or crazy train as he liked to think of her. With her long hair was in her face, she was mumbling something. It wasn't loud enough to understand, but enough to confirm what Caroline had spoke of was true. Talking to yourself in public? That deserved a check mark for crazy.
Once out of sight, he dashed into the men's room and felt the anger from before rush through him. Despite their little conversation, he was still annoyed by the scene of events before it. He had to face reality now. Stefan knew. Caroline knew. It would only take time for Alaric to know of his bad choices too.
Kicking the bathroom stall, he grunted. If they all knew, especially Alaric meant he would be sent straight back to meetings and coaching. He wanted none of that. Just the thought it made his skin itch. Three years of sobriety should not result in this, but it was. Caroline was right. He was a damaged soul, so poorly damaged that the scars of his past were deeper than any cut he could imagine. A constant reminder of the fuck up he was. He couldn't do this all over again. However, the stress of it all only made him want to do the one thing he needed to stop. He was in dilemma.
Behind him he heard the bathroom door open. It was most likely Stefan checking up on him making sure he wasn't being too destructive or sneaking bottles of wine. Damon balled his hands into fist ready to scream at him. He didn't need to be followed. All he wanted was a brief moment alone to blow off some steam from this messy day. As he turned, his chest heaved and his breath was caught in his throat. Her head was bowed and she stood motionless staring at him with the hint of crazy in her eye.
"You can't be in here." He told her.
No response, but she titled her head up. He was liking the term 'crazy train' a whole lot better than the street name, Bon Bon she had gained.
"Look I don't want any trouble." Damon held up his hands.
"You weren't suppose to mess up." She uttered.
"What?" He asked panicked.
"She gave everything, her life." The girl, Bonnie stated. Her head twitched the side. "You have to stop."
"I don't know you, but I think you should leave." Damon advised her.
"You're better than this." She said taking a step closer. "You know you are Damon."
For a small girl, he felt smaller compared to her. She was backing him into a corner as she approached him. After every thing he had learned about her, he feared to be alone with her in this bathroom. Why had she followed him in and how did she know his name?
"All she ever wanted was for you to get better, and this," her voice was shrill. Something glowed in her eyes. "This is how you repay her? How you handle things?"
"Get the fuck away from me." He cursed.
"How could such a pure heart love such a dark one?" She asked bitterly. The volume of her voice grew. "You have no idea what she did for you. No idea!"
"I don't know what you're talking about, but you're crazy." Damon replied trying to find away out without too much harm done.
A few heavy steps and she was almost breathing down his neck. Her finger was pointed at him and her eyes were bigger than the moon. "Yes you do! Elena wouldn't have wanted you like this again. You're hurting her." She snarled. "You have to stop!"