Levi popped the collar of his Jacket and smoothed his cravat into place. He'd been told that at the harvest festival people wore their finery, so he'd decided to don his own uniform. Wearing it would probably set him apart from the others, but he didn't care. He was leaving the following morning any way. With one last glance in the mirror he headed into the living room.
Amaura's house was empty except for him. It had been empty since his return the previous night. He'd assumed she spent the night at her brothers and was partially relieved and partially concerned. Although, his concern annoyed him. She annoyed him. He appreciated her intelligence, strength and beauty. But, even if he understood her distrust, her mood swings and tempers had tried his patience. When he said he wouldn't take her back to the cities with him he hadn't been lying. He wouldn't take a spoiled brat that could lose her composure at any moment back to present to Erwin.
Her words from the night before echoed in his head, 'I almost fell for it.' If her falling for it/him meant more insults and bad moods, he didn't need it, even if a part of him still wanted her. She needed someone to save her from herself, and he wasn't it. He didn't do personal rescues.
He walked through her empty house glad that at the very least, they trusted him enough to not assign him a personal guard anymore. When he walked out of Amaura's house and closed the door behind him, he was aware of eyes on him. He stood on the ledge in front of her house and looked down at the colony below. It was overcrowded and teaming with activity. There were strings of lanterns draped around the atrium and the birches had been hung with flickering candles. Fall colored flowers and ribbons decorated everything else. Chairs, tables, and blankets were set up for the festivities. People had gathered together and were talking and laughing excitedly. Despite the festive atmosphere, it was serene.
"Good you're ready," Jasper suddenly appeared next to him with Leezle clinging to one of his arms. They both looked like royalty. Jasper was wearing a nice suit that wasn't overstated and Leezle wore a pretty satiny dress that was. He spared them no more than a cursory nod. "I apologize for Amaura's absence, but she isn't fond of the Harvest Solstice Celebrations. So, you will have to accept us as a replacement."
"Is there something wrong?" He had seen distant glimpses of Amaura that day. When he was in the training pits, she'd come in long enough to talk to Ryan. And, when he went to see young Levi, he'd seen her from a distance heading into the infirmary. But, she didn't notice him, or pretended not too.
"No, she" Leezle waved a graceful hand, "she just doesn't' like the nights rituals," Leezle smiled prettily. She looked much better even if there was a haunted look in her eyes. Levi imagined that in time that would fade and she and jasper would have a hoard of children. "But, she'll be here later, maybe."
"We better go," Jasper motioned in front of them. "Because Argos is chomping at the bit to get started. He works really hard to put on an entertaining show." They walked past Levi, "I think you will like it, and learn something."
Levi followed them down the mountain and into the crowd as Jasper led them to a wrought iron café table that had a bench and two chairs around it. "No blanket this time?" Leezle asked excitedly.
Jasper smiled at her, "you asked nicely." He motioned her to the bench and they sat together. Levi took the chair at the far end of the table, leaving an empty one between him and the couple. Their obvious true affection for one another annoyed him. Absently he scanned the crowd and watched everyone around him laughing talking and sharing their food and drink. He wondered why Amaura would willingly miss the celebration of her people.
Across from them the waterfall trickled into the small pond. Above it a platform had been built and several people sat on it holding instruments. Other platforms had been built that staggered up the side of the cave. The last one was thirty meters up. It was long and had a curtained backdrop.
"Captain Levi," Armin said catching his attention as he approached with Mikasa and Eren. They also wore their survey corps uniforms. "This is amazing. Did you know it only took ten years to build all of this? They have a chemical that's very flammable and has acidic properties, that they use to burn out the stone of the caves you see everywhere. And, the remnant residue eventually hardens into something that is harder than steel. They use that to reinforce…"
"Do you ever shut up?" Gareth appeared behind him. All the dirt he usually wore was gone even if his hair was as spikey mess and the clean pants and shirt he wore were wrinkled. "Find a seat boy, they are about to start the show." He pointed to an empty blanket behind Jaspers table. Armin looked almost hurt, but him and the others trudged over to the blanket and sat down. Eren looked around with amazement and he could see new purpose building inside him. The boy would fight even harder to free them of the Titans. Levi almost groaned. He was unpredictable and hard to control as it was. But, he understood the boy's feelings. The colony wasn't on the dying end of their species. They didn't have the haunted look in the backs of their eyes. The colony was thriving.
Inside the walls, though the people wouldn't admit it, they all knew the Titans were there end, it was written across nearly every face he encountered. Anyone that didn't have the look was too stupid to be aware of what was happening to them. People of the colony were aware of the harshness of reality and despite that. They didn't have the air of a species going extinct. He wished he could say the colony were fools, but they weren't they had truly forged a life that was different. Despite his annoyance with Amaura, he had to give her people credit for doing something that only a rare few dreamed of, much less attempted.
"Ladies and gentlemen." An older man with curly brown hair and an out of date suit stood up on a platform with the small orchestra surrounding him. The crowd quieted. "Without long speeches because the tale doesn't need them, I present," he raised his hands and the lanterns around them were simultaneously dimmed. "The Fall of Freedom." The curtain at the top platform fell away exposing a replica of wall Maria and the symbols of the king and military.
Levi was about to stand up and walk away because he wasn't going to watch them insult his way of life but Jasper leaned over the table and handed him a glass tumbler of what smelled like beer. "Don't you want to know what Amaura didn't want you to see?" He turned his attention away without waiting for a reply.
Levi picked up the beer and took a short drink from it. It didn't taste bad. The barley wasn't overpowering but still robust. Plus it was ice cold. It had been a while since he'd enjoyed an ice cold beer.
Music started with a loud introduction then went low. Somewhere behind him a spotlight came on and aimed at the platform that was just above the man he assumed was Argos. A man and a woman stood together. The woman held a baby and the man held a small boy. "She's so beautiful." The blond woman said and her face was full of love. "Amaura," she smiled "that's her name."
"Hear that, Jasper," the man tossed the boy into the air, "you have a sister." The family smiled and laughter mixed with playful happy music. Then the light went out. Levi was somehow surprised and not, to find the drama was about Amaura. He wondered how someone so annoying could be so celebrated.
The music continued to play a happy soft melody and the next platform lit up. The same man appeared again wearing a Survey Corps jacket and held the hand of a small blond haired child that looked to be about ten. "Daddy, I want to join the Survey corps."
"It's dangerous and people get hurt." The man said looking down at her.
"But, they get to see outside." She looked at her father, then far off. "The end of the world isn't a wall."
"No," the father said seriously, "it's not. But, people die outside the wall."
The girl was quiet and looked very intense, "then I'll be a doctor and stop them from dying when we go outside the wall."
"I'm sure you will." The man laughed and squatted in front of her and handed her a book. "I got you a present."
She took the book and gingerly held it to her chest. "Thank you daddy."
"Now that I know you want to be a doctor, I don't feel so bad about making you study so hard." He tapped the book. "This is a book about how plants are used to make medicine. Study hard and when I get back, I will read you a story about real adventures in worlds of magic."
"Okay daddy," she giggled excitedly. He rubbed her head stood up and walked into a shower of rose petals. Levi knew that scene well. He didn't have to ask to know the rose petals meant death. The music changed and played sorrow. The platform went dark with young Amaura clutching the book to her chest and a stricken look on her tear filled face.
Music filled the air and he saw people wiping at their eyes. Then the music changed again. It played the sounds of something new and the next platform, higher up, was lit. On it there was a young man with brown hair wearing a trainee jacket. It was a good representation of Jasper. Next to him stood an older Amaura. Here she looked maybe thirteen, but it was hard to tell because of the stage make up. "You take care of mom."
"Okay," she handed Jasper a bag. "Don't get hurt and don't let the other recruits bully you."
"You worry too much." He took the bundle and slung it over his shoulder by the strap that was attached to it. "Besides, we're upper class. They won't really expect much of me so they'll be surprised at how good I am."
"Ha," she smiled. "But, then I'll join and show you up." She playfully punched him in the stomach. Levi recognized Amaura in the actress's actions. "Remember to write a lot."
"Remember to keep practicing with the swords I had made for you and study. If you want to be a doctor before your twenty," Jasper said tugging at a strand of her hair.
"I'm going to be a doctor before I'm eighteen," she hugged him for a long moment before he pulled her off and walked away.
For a moment the girl looked stricken, and then she sat down on the edge of the platform and pulled out a book and put her face into it. Shadows of leaves, rain, and brighter lights passed over her to show the passage of time. When the girl pulled the book away, she'd wiped away the stage make up and looked older, maybe sixteen or seventeen. Someone came from around a narrow wall dressed in a plain suit and carrying a black leather bag.
"My mom?" she asked softly, "did the medicine work?"
"It was a slim chance at hope, but a good try." He put a hand on her shoulder, "The fever has taken hold."
"But?" she still looked hopeful. The man shook his head and walked away. Amaura stood up and stared into the distance as more rose petals fell.
Levi looked to Jasper, but his face was a plain mask of indifference. Leezle, on the other hand, was wiping at her eyes as the music once again turned sorrow full and the light on the platform went out. The music continued to play something sad, but then its tune changed to something abrupt and militaristic.
The next platform, about thirty meters up lit up. An older Amaura, maybe twenty, stood at attention wearing a trainee uniform as a man with Survey Corps wings on his back paced in front of her. "You're the only one out of this class." The man snorted, "you're a girl. Not even a real girl just a half of a girl."
"I will not let you down sir." She snapped her feet together and saluted. "I want to give my beating heart to protect humanity."
Levi felt someone lean in and he looked behind him, surprised to find Jasper had moved closer. "Actually she asked him if she kicked his ass in less than two minutes, would he let her in." Jasper smiled and turned his attention back to the platform.
The man paced around her and sneered, "I bet you die pissing yourself on your first mission outside the walls." The military march style music got louder and the light on the platform faded. The music kept playing its strange march but somehow it was menacing and ominous. There was a high pitched scream and a light lit the last platform at the top of the fake wall of Maria. Two soldiers held a struggling Amaura between them. She kicked and punched but a third punched her. "You've committed treason." The third soldier said. "We don't let Titan's live when they attack us, we kill them."
"I didn't kill it because I needed to know why they exist, how they kill us so easily. They can't have just one…" She was cut off with a second punch and Levi felt his stomach turn and his grip on the cup of beer he held tightened.
"You had orders," he got closer to her and yelled. "I don't care if your talent lay in surviving," he grabbed her hair and lifted her face, "or how pretty you are. The rest of us won't die because you have the luck to live." He let go and turned to the others, "get rid of her."
Levi shifted and sat forward in his seat as he watched the two soldiers unceremoniously yank her forward. The music changed to something heavy and dramatic as they lifted her into the air. When they threw her over the ledge, the music stopped altogether. The heavy silence was accentuated by the gasps of people around him. Levi stood as he watched her fall, in slow motion, to the shadow casted hands of Titans below.
"Amaura!" a young Jasper screamed as he glided through the air and snatched Amaura out of midair just above them. Around him there was thunderous applause and the music began to play again, something loud and heroic. Levi felt the cup in his hand crack then shatter and he watched if fall to the stone below. The tinkling was lost to the applause and whistles of the rest of the Audience.
"Captain," Jasper stood next to him and offered a handkerchief. "You should come with me."
Levi dusted off the remaining broken glass, snatched the handkerchief away, and wrapped it around the bleeding cut he'd given himself. He stomped his way through the crowd and away from the rest of the celebration. When he found a plot of stone that was empty and far away from everyone else he stopped, but then started pacing, with his hands folded behind his back. He wanted to kill something, a lot of somethings. Jasper came to stand in front of him and he had to know. "Is that the truth?"
"No," he said softly. "That was the romanticized version of the truth."
"She hates the military." He said finally understanding, what that really meant. She hated the military because she had been betrayed by them. He had a deep sickening feeling in his gut that it was even worse than what he'd just seen.
"Yes and her feelings are hard to change. Why don't we take a short walk and I will tell you what Amaura won't." Jasper motioned to a winding path in front of them.
"Why do you want me to know?"
"Because, right now I think you've misinterpreted her. And, you need to understand why colony really does exist. And, because I want you to know." Levi felt his body tense in the same way it did right before he was about to go into a fight. "Keep in mind, I don't know all of it, because she's never told anyone the whole truth, at least to my knowledge." They slowly walked down a lit stone pathway and Jasper folded his hands behind his back. "I don't have to tell you Amaura is not just smart, she has a genius intellect. We both do," he smiled. "Sorry, I'm not the point of this story. So, I will skip over the early part, because well, what you saw was fairly accurate, minus the rose petals.
He seemed to consider his words. "I will start my story with this. Amaura wanted to be a doctor, so she made herself a doctor, exactly as she said, before she was eighteen. She wanted to join the Survey Corps so she fought to get into the Survey corps. She made up her mind that the Titan's weren't scary, and to her they aren't. Do you understand?" Levi wasn't sure he did, so said nothing.
"Its okay it took me a long time to understand what made her so unique too." They walked past a table that was full of sweets. Jasper stopped and picked up a small basket that was filled with round chocolate balls. "Chocolate covered blue berries." He handed the basket to Levi. "My sister loves them."
Levi stared at them, "I'm not hungry."
"There not for you," He had a strange look as if he knew something Levi didn't. "The reason why my sister is so unique is because she's so driven. She makes up her mind and whatever she decides, becomes fact, because her will makes it truth. That is why the colony thrives. That's why they adore her. But, remember we were both in the military and that kind of drive isn't appreciated. Especially, when she made the decision to study the Titan's, to learn from them, so that she could find more effective ways of fighting, or living in harmony with them."
"There is no living…" Levi stopped because he was about to say there was no living with Titan's but they were doing just that.
"Yeah, we do live with them. Not harmoniously all the time, but we aren't shut in either." He paused, "but you can imagine how the ranks of the military would not only overlook her value but even find her a threat. It boiled down to statistics. She made herself an expert swordsman and could do things with 3D gear that seasoned Military Police couldn't do." He looked at Levi and there was a proud look on his face. "But then statistics, she was more likely to live and them to die."
"If I'd had someone like Amaura in our division, the numbers of deaths would be a forth of what they are." He wondered how someone else could have missed how valuable a fighter she was.
"I know," Jasper chuckled, "how could they miss it? But, keep in mind this was before Maria fell. The Military's objective wasn't finding a way to defeat or live with the Titan's they just wanted a way to stay oblivious inside the walls. Scouting missions were never really meant to produce results. It was a way to satisfy the order from the king. Even when I was in the Survey Corps, it was considered a reckless mission that wasted lives."
"Anyway, she was hated and that hatred came out to crush her the day she not only survived but came out unscathed, after being eaten by a Titan. Probably because, she did it on purpose. The technique you saw in the fields the other day, she developed under the command of the Survey Corps.
Levi thought about it, "Yeah they probably shit themselves and thought she was insane."
He laughed, "I did too. I asked her why she did it though. She told me she wanted to know how long she had to cut a victim out of a Titan's stomach before they died." Levi hadn't considered that, even though he'd cut Eren out of the mouth of a Titan. Usually people that were eaten were just assumed dead. "Anyway the confrontation from those that feared and hated her was immediate she was court martialed and found innocent. But, it wasn't enough for her enemy's. An order was issued."
"Who issued the order?"
"I have a suspicion, but she hasn't really confirmed it." He shook his head and his voice got low. "But she did disappear for eight days." He ran a hand over his face and through his hair. "I have two regrets in all of this. That I didn't get to her sooner. And," he looked away from Levi and his jaw hardened, "and, I never got the chance to cut them down." He looked back and there was something more dangerous than murder in his eyes. "One day I will find them, him, and I will make sure they die afraid and screaming."
Levi clenched his jaw and his fists because by the look in Jaspers face he wasn't certain he wanted to know the rest. Still, he had to know. "So they threw her over the wall?"
"No," he bit out. "They tortured her first, because they had to try and break her before they killed her." He cleared his throat, "They threw her over the wall, naked, beaten, burnt, cut up, and nearly bleeding to death."
"Honestly when I caught her, I'm not even sure if she knew it was me. I've seen a lot of gruesome and awful things. But, that day, what I saw… what they'd done to her, it was more horrific than Titan vomit, and" his voice cracked, "she lived through it."
As his words sunk in, he understood what they meant. And, he started to truly understand why Amaura didn't let anyone touch her. He understood what Jasper couldn't say and Amaura wouldn't say. "Fucking pig shit." There was a long silence between them. The air felt static and Levi's body was coiled so tightly if he didn't strike out at something, he thought he'd go insane.
"I know that feeling," Jasper interrupted into his thoughts, "wanting to kill them, torture them, make them scream in pain. I've killed a lot of things, people included. I've never managed to make that feeling go away."
"So you came here to escape?" He asked and breathed in heavily through his nose. Some of the tension eased, but he was still seeing everything through a coating of red.
"Well I figured we were probably declared traitors and records of our existence had been wiped from military files. For all intensive purpose, we were dead. But, to answer your question, we didn't find this place right away. That first year we nearly died, more than once."
"I had to get Amaura healed before we could make any real progress into the world. It took weeks for her to get well enough to walk. I'm actually surprised she even had the courage. And through it all she was silent as the grave. She didn't speak a word to me. She didn't show the slightest bit of emotion. She never cried, not once, not even in the beginning when I had to stitch her up and set her bones. I was the one that kept us alive at first, because I wanted to un-break her. I scavenged supplies off the dead or digested bodies of Survey Corpsmen I found and we lived off of nuts and fish.
"We existed that way for a long time. Then one day I was coming back from fishing and I rounded a corner and found myself face to face with a seven meter tall titan. My 3D gear had long ago run out of gas so I was on two feet. I was certain it was going to kill me, but I ran any way. Even when it wrapped its hands around me, I kept running. I felt its teeth scrape against my head and I remember thinking that 'I wanted to live long enough to see Amaura like she used to be'. Then it dropped me. I ran away from it never planning on looking back, but then I heard wild screams. Not the kind of screams that come from someone dying, but something wild, feral, terrifying. I turned to find the Titan on the ground and my sister repeatedly hacking away at the back of its neck with its blood soaking her." He stopped again.
"I thought I'd completely lost her to insanity, I thought they had ruined her. And, I wished the Titan had eaten me before I'd seen my sister like that. But, then she stopped, looked at me, wiped the gore from her face, and said 'I won't let anything else be taken from me." He stopped and stared into the distance, but looked as though he wasn't really seeing it.
"So the two of you learned to kill them virtually bare handed?" Levi encouraged.
"Yes," he nodded. "Smaller Titans are easy. I mean any good soldier that isn't pissing themselves, can do it. But, the larger ones take some more effort. Really, she's the one that showed me how to do it without 3D gear. I only perfected the method. After that, we fought and killed so many I stopped counting. We used rusted, dull, and broken blades. We fought for days on end. We fought so long our hands cramped around the hilts of our swords and it was painful to let them go.
"Besides figuring out how to kill them, Amaura also noticed that Titan's wouldn't go through the bodies of their own when they were dead. So, at night we even slept in the nasty rotting flesh of the Titan's we'd killed. I thought that would be our way of life, endless killing, hunger, and sleeping in filth. But that wasn't the worst part.
"Amaura barely spoke, but she was my driving strength and I followed her because I didn't have any strength of my own. And after months of wondering feeling eternally lost, I gave up." He looked down at his feet and there was shame in his hunched shoulders. "She must have known it without me telling her. One day she made camp for me, and left. I thought it was good she abandoned me to die, because neither of us, well, we were barely human.
"She was gone for three days. Honestly I didn't do or expect anything, I just waited around to get eaten by the Titans or let the elements take me. Then, in the middle of the night, she woke me, gave me some cooked meat then said, 'I have a present for you.' Honestly, at that moment I didn't care because I was so lost in despair.
"The next day she led me here. And, she showed me a path that led inside the mountain and led me to those birch trees." He pointed at the tall trees in the middle of the colony. "It was the dead of winter and just below freezing. The birches were baron, but at the top of one there was a nest of humming birds." His voice got quiet as if he were reliving his own tale. "It was so strange and out of place we stared at them as they fluttered around. She looked up at them smiled and held her finger out. I was surprised when one landed on it.
"Did you know that humming birds are the only species of bird that can fly backwards?' She asked and I said no. Then she asked, 'don't you know, were that free?" He looked to Levi and there was deep love and admiration written in his soft eyes. The two of them started walking again and came to a set of stairs that led up. "That moment watching her stand and smile at those humming birds, my hope returned with such force, I cried." He looked at Levi without the tiniest bit of shame. "I didn't know it at the time, but all that time I felt lost, she was searching for a home for us and she was determined to make us a life, not just one where we merely survived because we were already doing that. She wanted a life where we could thrive. Like I said when she makes up her mind, whatever she decides becomes truth.
"This mountain is well fortified against Titan's and it didn't take us long to make a life here. She discovered the Liliak and I'm a scientist, so I discovered a way to power our 3D gear with minor alterations. After we got reasonably established, Amaura started traveling to the walls, because she was convinced she wasn't the only one the cities threw away, and she wasn't wrong. We started growing in number." He shrugged, "the rest you know. Most of our population came from the fall of Maria and we've lived here, discovering and making a new better way in the world. At least for us, anyway." He took in a long breath, "you won't see them, because the Liliak healed all of her scars, but she's paid a heavy price for all of us."
"Why are you telling me all of this?"
"Because, Amaura doesn't respond to other people the way she does to you. I'm the exception, but you seem to be one as well. I wanted you to understand that. Also, I'm sure you realize it by now," Jasper smirked. "But, none of this," he waved his hand around, "would exist without her. And, as much as she hates the celebration, the colony knows it. I allow their ritual because I think it is wise to remember beginnings and because to them, to all of us, she's more than a hero or a savior, she's the driving force behind us."
He motioned with his head and nodded to a spot way above them. Levi followed his line of sight. Though he couldn't see her clearly, he knew it was Amaura. Her blond hair and pale skin seemed to dust everything around her with light, her light. "The Fall of Freedom isn't just a story about Amaura's tragedy. It's the story of how the indwellers threw away strength and hope… They threw away freedom."
Levi felt the world tilt on its axis and spin out of control around him. He stared up at her with a heavy apprehension that was close to paralyzing fear. Last night, he'd pushed her away. He'd told her she was annoying, because he thought she was just an irrational woman with an ignorant dislike for him and the world he came from. And, he'd told her bluntly he didn't want her, worse he'd actually believed he didn't. He'd mistakenly thought, despite all outward impressions, she was weak. When, in fact, she was the strongest person that he'd ever encountered. His ring side seat to her personal war was because he was the representation of everything she feared. In truth she'd been fighting and conquering her personal demons from that war.
She conquered her fears enough to save his life when she could have easily given in and done nothing. She'd managed to overcome a deep seeded justifiable anxiety and let him touch her, even when she was shaking from the force of that fear. She'd even managed to look past everything he represented conquer another demon and 'almost fall for it', almost fall for him.
He realized his admiration for her ran deeper than he wanted to admit and maybe that was what had annoyed him. He then considered himself a coward because he'd thrown her away. Just like his comrades before him. He'd been a blinded fool not seeing her worth. Not just her worth to her colony or to humanity, but her worth to him.
He looked down at the basket of sweets in his hand, "there's something I have to do."
"I thought so, but Captain," Jasper looked down at him, "remember today is your last day here. You're leaving tomorrow."
Woo Hoo! This time it was only five thousand words, yay me.
Okay so now you know the story of Amaura... Believe it or not, this scene was hard to write and the originating idea for the story. Stupid plot bunnies, make me write a fanfic that is more than... forever long.
Anywho, Question, originally I had not intended on including a lemon scene, but it has been written. So I ask, do you, the reader, the true patron of this world, want the Lemon, the lime? Or nothing at all? I personally like good sensual scenes... but, hey I am good not putting it in.
So, exciting news, well two exciting bits of news, that you will care absolutely nothing about. I got a Levi Body pillow for a gift. (yes I am that obsessed) And, as far as feeding my other obsession. I started ordering the cosplay so my husband can be Erwin... and when I tell you he is a ringer, believe me, because I have been doing cosplay for years, and there is no one more suited to play him. Now, to decide if I should make him take pictures holding a light saber. :) :) :)
Thank you for all the reviews and faves, I truly appreciate them. People that leave encouraging reviews have a special place in my heart...3 I wish I could give you chocolate, but you will just have to accept the next chapter as my personal gift to you.
I don't own AOT/SNK but I am the proud pervy owner of a Levi body pillow.