XI. Lies and betrayals

I opened my eyes. The ray of sunshine filtering through the window of my room had woken me, but I was still tired. I had come home late. After we had taken back the Deadly Nadder to the training arena, I had stayed a few minutes with Astrid. We hadn't talked much. We only hadn't wanted to be separated again. A bit as if time had stopped and would have continued the moment we would have parted. But I had finally come home, and she had wanted to stay a bit more with the Nadder. A bond had been made between them. I wasn't sure it was as strong as the one between Toothless and I, but at least there was a relationship starting. I was happy I could share this with someone. Above all with Astrid. I finally felt like somebody understood me, and I was feeling less lonely.

I sighed. I wanted to stay in bed… but I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. All sorts of worries had already filled my brain.

The first one concerned Toothless' safety. If I could, I would have stayed with him. I didn't want to leave him alone in the forest; I was too afraid someone would find him. I knew what would happen if so. And I knew I couldn't bear this one more time. But unfortunately, I had to leave him there, because he didn't have anywhere else to go. I didn't have time to look for another place for him to hide, and I obviously couldn't bring him to the village.

My second concern had remained hidden inside me those last days, but had just come back with Toothless' return. And it wasn't only about my Night Fury. It was about all the dragons. I had become attached to those creatures since I had realized I absolutely couldn't kill them. I had discovered many things about them, and I ended up finding why they were attacking the village. If I could find any way to end this servitude, things might get better. For all I knew, the dragons didn't need to attack us to eat since they could catch fish on their own, so maybe they would stop stealing our food if their "Queen" disappeared. And that way, I might finally prove to my father and the whole tribe that I was right.

My father. Another worry. I still didn't know if he had lied. I tried to convince myself that he couldn't do such a thing, he couldn't make me believe my dragon was dead, yet I was beginning to have doubts. And even if thinking that my own father would tell me such a lie horrified me, I couldn't help but considering it. I had read so many things in his gaze, when we had had that conversation right after the dragon training final… I was used to his harshness, yet the huge disappointment mixed with anger I had seen in his eyes at that moment was different than the other times. It was like… final. It had scared me. For the first time, I had felt that I had really gone too far. He wouldn't forgive me.

Clarify things with my father. Find a way to stop the dragons' attacks. Try one more time to make the Vikings understand. Finally be able to spend time with Toothless. And Astrid.

I had a strange feeling of renewal. Same secrets, same worries, same fears. Turning round in my head.

Trying to stop the thoughts quickly flowing, I suddenly sat up in my bed and decided to get up. I went down, and noticed that my father seemed to be absent again. When I had come home the night before, I had found him asleep on the table, still wearing his coat, a stock bag which seemed almost empty on the ground. As if he had come back from a long expedition, and was so exhausted that he had fallen asleep there without taking the time to go to his bed. I had no idea why he was absent. My mind had been preoccupied by something else.

I thought about what I was going to do that day. I had to go to the forge to take some tools; the mechanism of Toothless' prosthetic tail had a flaw I had to correct. I would then go and find my dragon. I probably shouldn't go for too long, to avoid arousing suspicion. But on the other hand, every minute I wasn't with him, someone could find him without me knowing it. In both cases, I had to be as discreet as possible.

I would try to see Astrid too. I was already missing her. It felt so good to be listened to and understood…

"Hiccup, you're not alone, I'll help you. We'll get through it."

I wasn't alone. She would help me. And we would get through it.

I had felt incredibly good the day before, with her. My uncertainties about her had disappeared, and everything seemed… obvious. Natural. Reassuring.

I remembered her lips on mine as if they had never come off of them. I could still feel her body sat on mine. Her beautiful blue eyes looking at me. And all those new desires growing inside me.

I packed up a few things in a little bag – a slice of bread, a flask, and my notebook – and quickly ate some bread.

I also had to bring Toothless some fish. The poor dragon only had the lake in the cove, and he had probably already emptied it from any living thing. I could certainly hold on a few more days, but feeding him was becoming necessary. But I had to find quite a big amount of fish, and it risked seriously endangering my discretion. But otherwise, he would die of starvation in one week, and I obviously couldn't take that risk.

I closed my bag and looked around me. I grabbed my axe; I could pretend I was training in the forest if I met someone, which would more or less justify my stock bag. Then I left my house and went to the forge, thinking about a way to gather as discreetly as possible a basket of fish for Toothless.

"You're leaving now?"

"Yes. I absolutely have to find that damn dragon and kill it."

"So that's what you've been doing for two days?"

"Yes, and I was supposed to spend my night doing this, but I fell asleep. Well, I guess finding a Night Fury in the dark is impossible anyway."

"I don't want to question your plans, Stoick, but… you announced a feast to celebrate the death of a dragon you haven't even killed yet. It's pretty urgent to find him, isn't it?"

"I know, Gobber, I know… That's why I'm leaving right now."

"By the way, I saw your son yesterday… And he didn't seem to be doing very well."

"As long as he has stopped whatever he was trying to do with the dragons…"

"I'm serious, Stoick. He looked so unhappy… I mean, he's not usually very joyful, but… I have never seen him like that, I swear."

"You talked?"

"No. Almost not."

"You should keep an eye on him. I know this isn't easy, but… I'm… doing this for his good. Really. I'd like to avoid something like that Monstrous Nightmare scene happening again."

"I understand."

No, you can't, Stoick thought. But he answered, "It's important he thinks taming dragons doesn't make any sense. I'm trying to protect him, and all of us too."

Leaning on the wall behind the forge's entry, I bit my lip to avoid screaming. I was holding my axe so tight that I felt like I could break it in two.

I was totally stunned by the revelations I had just heard in my father's and Gobber's mouths. I couldn't believe they dared to dupe me like that. Of course, I had thought about the fact that my father might have lied to me, but seeing this hypothesis confirmed was making me realize that I hadn't actually thought he would have really been able to do such a thing. Yet he had done it. My anger was so that I could have thrown my axe at his face. I almost wanted to kill him. No matter that the man who had just said those words was my father, I just wanted to make him suffer as he had intentionally made me suffer.

"Find that damn dragon and kill it."

The situation was almost worse than if Toothless had really been killed by Gobber. He would have only defended himself, while my dad…

I suddenly stood up. I had to do something. Right now.

Guided by nothing else than my determination to protect Toothless ad my refusal to lose him another time, I quietly walked along the wall and went out of the village. Once out of sight, I started to run. As fast as I could. My stuff was bothering me. I left the axe. I needed the bag.

The branches scratch my face until I drew blood, I didn't care. The only thing I was focusing on was running. Running fast.

Stoick was talking with Gobber before he'd go again to look for the Night Fury. He wanted to keep himself informed about possibly important events which would have happened while he was absent. They were now talking about Hiccup.

"It's important he thinks taming dragons doesn't make any sense. I'm trying to protect him, and all of us too."

Gobber was about to answer, but was interrupted by the sound of steps outside. Stoick turned around and saw through the window, for one second, a brown mop he knew well. He ran outside and had just enough time to catch sight of his son disappearing between two houses. He understood he had witnessed his talk with Gobber. He didn't know exactly what he had heard and understood, but he decided to follow him. He left the blacksmith and rushed after Hiccup between the two houses. He saw him weaving and disappearing again behind a wall. He ran to try and catch up with him. Passed the wall. The moment he was about to call him, he noticed he seemed to be fleeing toward the forest. Puzzled, he changed his mind and waited a few seconds, before he penetrated in the woods.

He followed him for about fifteen minutes, being careful to stay far enough from him to not be noticed, but also close enough to not lose his sight. He was trying to be as quiet as possible, but Hiccup didn't seem to be on watch. He was running quite fast and zigzagging between the trees with determination. It looked like he knew where he was going. And Stoick felt like he was about to find this out. However, he was starting to fall behind, out of breath. He had to stop for a few seconds, and when he wanted to continue, he had lost his son's trail. He took a few more steps in a random direction, and looked around him, listening carefully.

Nothing.

He was about to give up. When he saw it. His axe, on the ground, next to a tree. He came closer and thought. He couldn't remember whether Hiccup had his axe with him or not.

Anyway, this can only be his, he thought.

He left it there and continued running. After a few seconds, he heard a snap. He went toward its direction. And saw a figure squeezing two big rocks. He slowly approached and followed him. The way was quite narrow, and Stoick had to walk side-on to the face to move forward. But even in this position, his stomach was touching the rock. He finally came out, and saw kind of a big crater. He waited a bit before he dared to move forward. He leaned over and scanned the cove. There was a lake. He saw something moving. It was his son. And he wasn't alone.

Stoick suddenly came out of his hideout, and shouted.

"HICCUP!"

The boy turned round and lifted up his head. When he saw his father, he immediately got on his Night Fury. Stoick jumped on a big rock below him, and desperately looked for a way to quickly catch up with his son. But he wasn't really good at climbing, and his hesitation left Hiccup enough time to fly up on his dragon.

Therefore, Stoick, powerless, witnessed his son's escape, going away from a world where he couldn't find a place. The chief was furious. He angrily hit a little rock which rolled in the cove. He was seeing his plan collapsing, taking away with it his last hopes of being able to one day make his stupid offspring a true heir.

But what Stoick didn't admit was that he wasn't only angry with his son. Inside him, a little voice was telling him again and again that he was responsible for more than half of this trouble.

But he refused to listen to it.

And high up there in the sky, flying through the clouds, Hiccup was displaying huge self-control to restrain himself from turning back and having his Night Fury shoot a plasma blast at his father.