In a dreamland, I would have been at Eli's the whole night. I would have made us something to eat, because Eli can't cook for shit. Then we'd go up to his room and laugh about how stupid a TV show was, then he'd kiss me. It'd go on like that for a while, and before it got to heated, I'd go home to Mom and see her off in the morning. As soon as she left, Eli would come over and we'd laze the day off because it was a Saturday.
Instead, my life was completely opposite. Dreamlands don't exist and things happen; bad things.
In the real world, I was raped by Fitz; spending the majority of the night in a stinky van at the ravine. I intended to break up with him and instead I was served with the punishment of betrayal it seemed. Johnny carried me to Eli's door where the rest of the night was me half worrying about my mom and half worrying about trying to stop Eli from freaking out over Fitz.
My morning was fairly well—because I woke up to Eli snuggled into me as much as I was snuggled into him. My body was numb with pain, which wasn't all that bad until I moved, and the pain had to move and follow the limbs I was moving. All I could smell was Eli, and when I closed my eyes; nothing was wrong. I can imagine we just spent the night together, nothing happened and we fell asleep peacefully in each others arms.
Eli groaned softly next to me, making my eyes laze open. His droopy green eyes met mine, and he smiled weakly. I was all the more taken aback when he moved over just a little more and pressed our lips together. To a point, I honestly thought he was slightly repulsed with me at the moment. I wouldn't blame him, I mean, I wouldn't want to be sucking on someone's face if some guy...spent himself in said mouth.
His hand was grasping my hip, making me take a breath of air sharply.
Suddenly he ripped himself away, both of us opening our eyes. His widened before they closed. The muscles of his jaw flexed as he clenched it. "I'm sorry," he apologised, and the 'o' sounded more like a 'u'. The first time of being with Eli that I heard a slightest bit of a Canadian accent. "I forgot 'bout yesterday." He muttered like he was struggling, to either keep a clean accent or with his thoughts.
I touched his hand that had retreated off my hip and lay between us. "It's fine Eli," I yawned, "you just surprised me is all. Yesterday has nothing to do with it."
Without more words he was up and out of bed. "I'll go make you something to eat," he paused at the door, "call your mom and let her know you're okay. I think she might be worried."
At his words I realised that he was right. Beside Eli's bed was his phone on night stand. I grabbed it as he left the room and started to dial my mom's number. She picked up on the second ring.
"Hello?"
"Mom, it's Emma."
"Oh Emma! I was so worried about you! Alli wouldn't let me talk to you, I was about to go over to her house this morning."
Panic filled me before she started talking again.
"...but she said you were already sleeping. Bless her soul for being there with you. I didn't know you and Eli were even going out hun. I thought I asked you to tell me you two were dating. Don't hide it from me, I didn't—"
"Mom," I sighed, "I wasn't dating Eli. It was another boy from school named Mark."
"Well why didn't I know anything about him?"
"It's just—" Eli popped back into the room, pointing to his phone when he noticed I had it. In his hand was my own. "I wasn't serious with him and I didn't want to introduce him to you if it wasn't going to be committed."
My eyes flashed to Eli's ring that still rested on my left hand. Chest heating and constricting I looked towards him. He was looking at the floor, frown in place.
"Okay, that's fine I guess," she muttered. I could just picture her rolling her eyes, "but you'll tell me when you and Eli start dating, right?"
As she was asking the question, I was inhaling. At the point when she said Eli's name, well I was more like choking; on my spit. "Mom!" Eli was over to my side in a second, thumping my back softly.
"What! You two already act like you're dating, and he's okay. I just want you to be able to talk to me about these things—"
"That's not the point! You can't just assume—"
"That's my ride, I got to go. Love you! And tell Eli to keep his hands to himself."
Oh God. I was officially mortified.
Eli was not only close enough to hear it, but Mom yelled it. The woman yelled on the damned phone like she knew that Eli could hear it.
I couldn't care less if she knew I was at Eli's, or that I spent the night, or anything.
"Did she just tell me to—"
"You heard nothing," I glared, "where's my food woman?"
I was rewarded with a small chuckle and smile, in turn making me smile. He took his phone, leaving again. I fell against the bed, sighing and closing my eyes. I was wore-out. A small headache started in the back of my head, but it was nothing compared to the feeling between my legs. The dull throb was consistent, and the moment I moved; it hurt all over again.
After a short wait, Eli was back, balancing a plate on one forearm, holding a glass of milk in that hand; and holding my phone and his in the other.
A plate of toaster Ego waffles, a toaster strudel, and toast was sat in front of me. I laughed. "Is the toaster the only thing you know how to cook with?"
Eli tried to look grumpy, but he couldn't hide his smirk. "What," he sat next to me, placing the glass of milk on the night stand, "don't like it?"
"No, it's perfect," I stated before taking a bite out of the strudel. "You're not going to eat though?"
He shrugged, handing me my milk. I took a sip and cleared my throat, "Thanks Eli."
"No problem Emma." He was forcing his smile, I could tell by the way he wouldn't meet my eyes. Dread filled me again. How long was it going to take for Eli and I to get back on track?
That night was completely uneventful. I pretty much stayed in bed all day, Eli bringing me lunch and dinner. I was amused that he didn't use the toaster again. During the time in between he urged me to sleep, helped me to the bathroom when I needed to, and even offered for me to take a bath again. I declined to the latter, but it was sweet of him to think about it.
We didn't talk much, and when I started to doze to sleep, he was right beside me like the night before.
Sunday, it was something completely different.
I woke to my phone ringing. Me jumping awake and scrambling to get the phone woke Eli up. He was trying to wipe the sleep out of his eyes. I didn't even bother to see who was calling, but snapped the phone open. "Hello," my voice was groggy and rasped.
"Come open the damn door."
At that moment I felt more awake than ever.
Fitz.
"Who is it," Eli's voice was caressing my other ear.
"Oh," Fitz laughed harshly, "you're with him? Come open the door so I can kick his ass again."
I bolted to Eli's window, from there not only could I see my own, but the front door from an odd angle. Low and behold Fitz was at the door, holding the phone in one hand and banging on the door with the other. His car was in the driveway, running.
Eli was behind me in an instant.
"I'm gunna fucking kill him." It was all I heard before his presence was gone.
"Oh, Goldsworthy thinks he's going to kill me, yeah?" Fitz taunted over the phone.
I slapped it shut and turned, Eli was no where. What if he went outside and Fitz saw him. Fitz would know I was over at Eli's...and that we were next door to be exact.
I bolted out the door, only to see Eli's feet at the bottom of the stairs and heading towards the kitchen. I took almost three at a time as I ran. "Eli, don't!" I was yelling at him, but he wouldn't stop.
The force I was putting on my legs was making me quiver, the pain was almost unbearable. Eli was almost to the front door, but I was quick enough. With the rest of the energy I had I launched myself off the ground and onto Eli's back.
We tumbled to the floor in a tangled mess. I cried out in pain when Eli's body crushed my hands and feet to the floor. He turned under me, eyes ablaze and furious. "What are you doing Emma," he yelled trying to bat me off.
"Don't! Please! I can't go home, and if you go out there he'll know where you live too. I won't be able to stay here either," I grasped his bare shoulders, shaking them violently.
"No Emma," he seethed, "he fucked with me long enough. And you were the last Goddamned straw!" He was pulling at my hands, off his body and grasping by the wrists tightly.
I tore them away, grabbing his face, bringing to closer to my own. "Elijah, if you care anything for me, anything at all—please don't do this. Not now," I whispered.
"Don't say that," his face softened, but his voice was fierce. "You know how much I care about you Emma."
I felt my lips trembling. "Then prove it," I wet my lips, tasting salt from tears. "Don't go out there. Come back upstairs with me.
"Play me something on your guitar, it'll take our minds off of it."
I didn't know what I was thinking when I said it. It was just something that was in his room and I didn't want him anywhere where Fitz could see us.
His face tilted towards mine, pressing his lips to my cheekbone. I glanced out the window, Fitz was getting inside his car and pulling out of my driveway.
"Come on," I grasped his hands in my own.
Eli carried me to his room again, I cuddled into the comforter and closed my eyes softly. The energy I had spent chasing Eli through the house spent me. I was about to sleep again—until I heard the strum of a guitar.
I didn't honestly think he'd play something, but it had been a frequent fantasy of mine—to have Eli play for me. To serenade me.
It was acoustic and staccato, a little upbeat, but simple. I opened my eyes to see him sitting in the corner, hands gliding over the neck and strings like they belonged there.
"Smiles and her laughter, it's the only thing that I've been waiting, for a time," his voice was marvellous. And I swear if I were on my feet, standing; I'd swoon and my knees would buckle right into the floor. It shook my body like the bass at a rock concert.
"Regardless of our distance and our hope, grows greater. Trapped by pretty eyes and letters for all time...the only thing that I've been waiting for."
Eli's fingers were still plucking away, his eyes focused on the end of his bed.
"I hope it's something worth the waiting. 'Cause it's the only time that I ever feel real."
His eyes slid close, head hung slightly and singing just as softly.
"Thunder storms could never stop me, 'cause there's no one in the world like Emma Lee."
Knees buckle and crash to the ground? More like I melt into the floor and make a puddle at his feet. At this point I knew for a fact Eli didn't write this, because it was clearly From First to Last. And instead of singing Emily he sung Emma Lee. But the way he was nodding his head, eyes closed, and tapping the beat; it felt like he wrote it. I couldn't help but feel all the more on fire when my name tumbled from his lips.
Eli's eyes finally opened, finding mine.
"She's simple yet confusing. Her sparkling eyes make me weak at my words, they tremble. Days seem like years in this month of December. The winter, coldens me for I have yet to sleep. And never will I give up trying 'cause you're everything to me.
"I hope it's something worth the waiting. It's the only time that I ever feel real. 'Cause thunder storms could never stop me. 'Cause there's no one in the world like Emma Lee."
The strumming stopped, and I was on the brink of something.
"There's no one in the world like Emma Lee," he whispered.
I pushed myself up and off the bed and walked over to Eli. Some emotion was eating at me, and I couldn't describe it. It was like you feel mystical, like you didn't belong and in the back of your head you knew it. That reality was just a dream. And when you wake up, the unbelievable dreams you always had was reality. I felt light and weightless, almost graceful by time I reached him.
I just woke up to the reality.
I was dreaming of an Eli and I, of a world in Toronto where we'd be normal teenagers and kiss and fool around.
Now, I woke up to the fact that it wasn't just normal teenagers and kiss and fool around. Emma Lee Zimmer just fell hard for Elijah Israel Goldsworthy.
Hard in love.
It wasn't like anything I've ever felt before. I was sad and happy all at once, devastated and glorious the next second. It was the raw emotion he held, the passion he sung, the lovely lyrics; it was all a recipe for a tired and confused Emma.
I disposed myself into his lap once he set the guitar on it's stand. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders I buried my fact in his chest. "It was beautiful," I whispered.
"Not as beautiful as you," he whispered back.
I snorted, pulling away to look him in the face. "That was not only cliché, but cheesy."
He didn't smile, nor did he look offended. His hand came up, his knuckle brushing against my cheek like he has done so many times before. "But God, it's so true," he murmured, looking at where his knuckle was just at, as if amazed.
The unexplainable feeling came back full force, and I crashed my lips to his. A whine escape my throat, and my lips were trembling all over again. I could feel his arm around me, palm and fingers of his hand holding my side and pulling me closer. His other hand was grasping the side of my face, it's palm and fingers engulfing my cheek, jaw, and temple. With that he pulled me away.
"You've never kissed me before," he smiled.
True; he's always kissed me. "Thanks Eli," I pulled myself against him in a hug, "for everything."