Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, unfortunately. Uther's POV.
Light shines from the skies
Blessing angel in disguise
Reaching across eternity,
Saving a man uncertainty
Hope - Myrath
Uther needed a long moment to understand Merlin's words completely, and yet he felt just too lost and confused. It was almost impossible for someone to be born with magic, and even before the Great Purge such creatures were rare, beautiful and powerful. Gaius told him stories about times of the Old Religion, times when they were adored as some kind of divine being. Magic ran through their bodies just like blood, coming right from the earth and sky. He had also learned about times when the High Priestess tried to bound them and how the witches had paid for the terrible mistake. Those creatures couldn't be tamed, tied, enslaved.
For a moment he tried to remember the exact word. Warlock. A wave of fear and excitement ran over his body. He had believed that kind of sorcery had been wiped from his lands during the Purge, and yet there was Merlin, standing right in front of him, eyes full of resignation, and the King finally understood why the boy never joined Cenred's court, why he decided to hide in such a despicable place instead of letting himself be used. Why he was waiting patiently for his death sentence.
He took a step back unconsciously as realization hit him as a punch right on the jaw.
Uther asking him to never use magic again was the cruelest thing someone could do, and Merlin would rather die than give up on what… on who he was.
But what else could he do? As much as he trusted Merlin, he knew Camelot wouldn't welcome him with open arms, not after everything, after years of fear and prejudice - decades of blind ignorance that ruined so many lives, Merlin's included. He didn't doubt some would even accuse the boy of enchanting the King only to get into the citadel. Uther himself wondered if that wasn't the master plan, but Merlin had just proved - over and over again - to have no ill intentions nor the desire to be recognized.
And for a moment Uther tried to picture Merlin living in that decadent hut all alone. Every inch of his body rejected the image, pushed painfully against the thought. He couldn't allow it to happen. Merlin belonged to people, with his smiles and kindness and selflessness, and the King had noticed the subtle changes on his mood through the weeks. He was happy. Forcing him into living in complete solitude again was as sordid as trying to strip his magic from his body. Death was more merciful than both options.
A humorless laughter almost left him, but Uther hold it back in the exact second. He was just trying to fool himself once more and failing miserably. It was just too hard, too painful to think in a life without Merlin by his side. Their fragile, almost wry relationship always made him feel as happy and loved as before, when Ygraine was still alive, when they were young and full of dreams. Merlin truly had done something magical to him, for he had sworn he'd never fall deeply for someone again. Sweet Merlin with his gentle words and warm touches pushed away the walls around his heart and soul, never asking permission to settle there.
Uther couldn't lose it, not now when everything felt so perfect. He couldn't live without that love, the silent devotion, the secret kisses shared during a cold night. How could he live without the feeling of safety and mutual respect, the way Merlin treated him daily, almost demanding to be seen as an equal. If he lost it all again, Uther was certain he'd go mad in a matter of days.
Merlin kept staring at him, expectation and a childish curiosity shining on his blue eyes, and Uther needed to take a deep breath to focus on the current problem. The boy had magic and wasn't willing to give up on it, but there should be a way to take him to Camelot and keep him safe...
"I assume this is your final decision." The King almost whispered, lips pressed into a thin line as Merlin nodded, too stubborn to change his mind. "Very well. Can you at least be discreet and keep this delicate matter… between us?"
"I… wait, what?" The shock on Merlin's face was the most funny reaction he had seen in years, and Uther really fought the urge of laughing. The boy looked so lost and confused it was a surprise to see he could still stand. "I thought you'd… I don't undestand."
A painful knot got stucked on his throat and his stomach flip. Merlin really believed he'd be executed… Uther took another deep breath, running a hand through his face. They've been together for a few weeks now and the boy still doubted him, feared him even. Oh well it wasn't like Merlin didn't have reasons to be afraid, scared, but it still hurt. How could he have changed so much in so little time? The King allowed himself to smile and took a step closer to the younger man, pulling him against his chest only to embrace Merlin gently once more.
"I'd never hurt you, boy." Uther placed a soft kiss on the boy's forehead, barely noticing the relieved sigh that escaped his lips. "I can't allow you to live here all alone anymore, but there are people in Camelot that may think I'm enchanted, that you want to use me…"
"I understand. But I can't..."
"I know I can't force you to give up on your evil practices." The King smirked, bitting his tongue not to laugh at Merlin's scoff. "But we don't need to make an announcement about it as well. Could you promise not to reveal your magic, to keep it as a secret… Our secret?"
For a long moment the dark-haired warlock seemed to consider the idea, hope and affection shining on his eyes. He was just a child looking for some comfort and happiness, and Uther couldn't simply deny a simple, yet so complicated request. He'd do anything within his power to see Merlin happy, but he also knew it'd take some time to revert all the damage he had done. It'd take time for people to trust into magic again, and he couldn't simply force it into their lives suddenly, with no other real explanation than falling in love with a warlock. They'd blame Merlin, accuse him of enchanting the King and he was sure they'd try to kill the boy only to "end the sorcery".
The idea of Merlin being executed sent dreadful shivers down his spine and he needed all the strength in his body not to get sick in that very moment.
"Please, Merlin." His voice was just a whisper now, eyes never leaving the boy's face. He knew he sounded too desperated, on the verge of a real panic attack. "I promise there'll be no persecution of my part if you come with me, you'll be allowed to use magic when we're together or when you're alone but…"
"Uther, calm down." Warm fingers rested against his cheek and Uther felt the jitters fading away as quickly as it had appeared. "Is that what you want, though? Do you really want me to go to Camelot and… stay?"
"Yes. I want it with all my heart."
Merlin's wide, sincere smile melted away any doubt, any question hovering over his mind and heart. The tension between them disappeared in a blink of an eye, and there was just peace and pure bliss when they kissed, deeply and hot, filled with passion and lust. They could make it work, they could be together despite every problem they'd face sooner or later. Even if he was the King, he already had an heir to take his place after his death and he could court another person - a male, a sorcerer, a peasant - as much as he desired.
"Do you want to come home with me, boy?"
"With all my heart, my lord."
Oh my, you have no idea of how happy I was when I read all those wonderful reviews! Thank you, thank you so much for your support! It means a lot to me, and I'm so happy to see you're really enjoying this story. I'd hug every one of you if I could! You beautiful souls!
Now, about the chapter. I swear I tried to write something waaaay better than this but I just couldn't think properly and sometimes it's just too difficult to write something good enough! I'm so sorry for this terrible chapter and I promise I'll make up for this one on the next chapter! I know things are working slowly between Merlin and Uther but they're so confused!