Well, so there's a new chapter - which hopefully you will enjoy even though it's not exactly, you know, all happiness and sunshine.
But I needed to for Miriam to make a major mistake to establish some more differences between her and Harvey and to try and keep things interesting. Please don't kill me.
xxx
The next day a very hungover Miriam finally sold the rights to her book.
Afterwards the time just seemed to fly by.
She visited her grandmother twice a week, hung out with Eddy as often as possible and was glad every time Mike found the time to come and see her or invite her over. She even went to see Connor one weekend, but then she could not help but feel like he was behaving strangely distant. They had had a big fight over the phone – she'd voiced her concerns and he had answered by calling her distrustful and overreacting, but when she was in Washington, both of them did not talk about it any more. Of course, guilt was still creeping into her veins each time she thought of the fact that she had not mentioned to her boyfriend that Harvey had taken to visiting her now and then. Every time she calmed herself down by reminding herself that nothing happened, nothing would ever happen – they just enjoyed hanging around together, and she was quite honoured, as she felt like Harvey chose carefully whom he spend his free time with.
And all in all, she was still very happy to see her boyfriend. She still liked Connor a great deal, even though Mike clearly did not understand it in the slightest.
"You are such a nice person", he kept repeating "how can you love such an asshole?"
But he was not an asshole. Clearly, people failed to notice, how lovely, sweet and caring he could be.
Miriam was still in love with him the way she had never been in love before.
The last thing she was planning on, was to cheat on him.
And yet it happened.
It was a beautiful day in June, the sun was shining and Miriam left the doctor's office happily, as finally her cast had been removed. As she decided to go to the next Café to get a big bowl of ice cream, she didn't know how badly everything would turn out.
Val was an Irishman who had taken a few weeks off to backpack along the American East Coast. They started conversing, and Miriam soon enough offered him to crash at her place, as she deemed him nice enough. In hindsight Miriam could have punched herself in the face for that stupid, stupid offer. They were very friendly to begin with – she enjoyed the attention he was giving to her, he enjoyed her flirty smiles. But nothing was bound to happen until they arrived at Miriam's flat after dinner and were talking over a few glasses of wine. It happened so quickly, both of them did not really know how it came to it, but it did not take them long until they were laying on the couch kissing each other furiously.
The next day, Miriam woke up next to that good looking man, it took her a second to put two and two together. She got up quickly, wondering what the hell had gotten into her, and woke Val up, only to throw him out without so much as a coffee.
"I've fucked up", she told herself as she took a shower "Oh god, I've fucked up so badly. I'm a cheater. I am a cheater. I am a useless, stupid cheater. Oh god, I need to tell Connor. Oh no no no. Oh, Miriam, you stupid bitch."
It was at that point that she started crying.
Suddenly, or so it felt to her, the whole world was falling apart.
What should she do now? She wandered up and down her apartment, her wet hair dropping over the parquet. God, she couldn't even think.
She took up her phone and dialled the one number of the one person she could always rely on.
Take it, take it, take it, take it! Answer the phone, Mike!
Tears were streaming down her face. Had she even called the right contact?
Goddamnit, she swore internally, if he had forgotten his phone now!
But seemingly, Mike had.
What now?
Miriam let herself slide down the wall, trying not to panic. How could she just throw away everything she and Connor had build together? Just like that? Sure, they might have had a bit of a wasteland to go through the last few weeks, but that definitely was no excuse...
She closed her eyes as she dialled the next number. Even though he was the last person she wanted to talk to now, she did not know how else to get to Mike.
"Just a moment, Scottie... Yes?", Harvey answered the phone.
"Harvey", Miriam sobbed.
"Miriam?", he asked and she could almost see the worried expression on his face in front of her.
"Hi", she snivelled "C...Can you..."
"What's happened? Are you OK?"
She took a deep breath and finally managed to say shakily: "I'm... fine."
"You don't sound it", Harvey noted "Where are you? Do you need me to send Ray to fetch you?"
"Home", she somehow blurted out while it felt like her chest was to becoming tighter and tighter.
"Miriam?", Harvey asked again, his concern growing, even though he tried to keep a cool exterior, knowing full well Scottie was watching him from the bed "Talk to me."
"I... I can't", Miriam managed to say between wheezing breaths.
"It's OK. You don't have to", he said softly "Just breathe, OK?"
In. Out. In. Out. In. Out
It took a while but slowly the feeling in her chest weakened.
"Harvey?", she said after a while, breathing heavily.
"Yes, I'm still here."
"Can you tell Mike I really need him?"
Even though she did not have any more trouble breathing, Miriam did not seem to be able to stop herself from crying. Mike came to see her, not much later after she had called Harvey.
He wrapped her up in a big blanket and stroke her back while she cried against his chest.
"I'm so glad you're here", she blurted out between sobs.
"I'm always here for you, Mimi", he sighed, already swearing at Connor in his mind: "What's happened, huh? Donna only said I should go see you at once."
"I fucked up, Mike", she said "I fucked up so badly."
"Did you kill someone?", he asked which made her look up, shaking her head.
"Well, then it can't be that bad", he smiled as he stroke her black curls.
"But it is!"
"Just as bad as killing someone?"
"I killed my relationship."
At this point she was sobbing so much, it was hard for Mike to make out what she was saying.
"Did you break it off with Connor?"
"Nooo", she cried out "I slept with someone. I cheated."
Mike closed his eyes, sighing, unsure what to say.
"Well, he wasn't there", he tried after a while "He hasn't been there for you a long time."
"That's no excuse!", Miriam yelled angrily "I'm a bad person! I'm disgusting! Why are you even still here?"
"Because, no matter how disgusting you might find yourself, I will always stay by your side."
He held her until finally, the sobbing stopped. Miriam raised her head. Her eyes were puffy, and her hair was all over her face.
"Hey", Mike greeted her and managed to smile at his mess of a cousin.
"Hi", she said and thankfully took the tissue he handed her to blow her nose.
"Are you feeling better now?", he asked and rubbed her back as she sat down properly.
"A little. All thanks to you", she said and looked at him directly.
"Well, that's all that matters to me", he said "I'll make a cup of hot chocolate for you, yes?"
Miriam nodded quietly.
"Mickey", she asked while he was trying to figure out her coffee maker.
"Yes, Mimi?"
"Could you maybe stay until I've talked to Connor? I have to tell him what I did."
"See?", Mike smiled "You're not such a bad person, after all."
"No, I really am", she sighed "but he doesn't deserve me and he needs to know it."
"Don't make yourself smaller than you are", Mike said contently as he had finally found the right button for the warm water "Connor was an ass, this was probably just your subconsciousness dealing with that fact, as you have been in denial."
"Stop trying to find excuses for what I did", Miriam said angrily.
"I'm not. I'm simply telling you what I think about it. Mimi, I've known you all of my life – you never cheated on anyone. You're not a liar. You couldn't even cheat when we played board games. Whatever you've done, you must have done it unconsciously."
"No, I remember all of it", Miriam said and buried her face in her hands.
"That's not what I meant. Look, I don't know what went on with you yesterday, but this is just unlike you. You are not that person you might have been this night."
"But what if I am?", Miriam wondered.
"Trust me", Mike smiled and handed her the cup "You are not."
Connor took it, to say the least, badly.
"You call me – while I'm at work! - to tell me this?", he yelled at her loudly enough for even Mike to hear.
"I'm sorry, I..."
"Well, you know we can hardly be together now, right?", he said.
"I thought so", Miriam said quietly "I know, what I did is unforgivable. I am just really sorry, Connor."
"I really did not think I would ever fall for a cheap whore."
This was the moment it was too much to take for Mike – he snatched Miriam's phone right out of her hand: "Go get some soap and wash your mouth, Connor."
"Now, look who's there – Michael, what a surprise! You probably got her to fuck that Irish guy, huh? Bet you'll throw a party now. But guess what, I can call Miriam what ever the hell I like, after all I am the victim here!"
"Listen, you treat your girlfriend like shit, don't really make time for her in months and make her feel so bad that the only way for her to get to feel wanted is to sleep with that Irish dude – that's your thing. All I know is, no matter what Miriam did, you of all people don't get to call her anything any more."
With that, Mike pressed the red button and looked at his cousin, still some anger glistening in his eyes: "OK, so, you made a mistake, I won't deny that. And, of course, he's hurt. But I still think, falling for that douche was a bigger mistake than anything you could have done with a hundred Irish guys", Mike said, thinking about how strange Connor had sounded, as if he was far, far away with his thoughts. Something was going on there.
The next week, Miriam did not want to see anyone. Even Harvey who had already come by on the same evening she'd broken things off with Connor was left waiting in front of her door until he just went back to his apartment. Only Mike, who still had a second key to her flat kept Miriam going. He woke her up before he went to work, got groceries for her, excused her from their grandmother and just in general looked after his apathetic cousin.
On Friday, more than ten days after the breakup, Harvey did not know what to think any more. Miriam had become one of the only people he allowed himself to have any emotions for, and the fact that she would not open the door or answer his calls or texts had him slightly concerned. Additionally, his favourite associate seemed even more tired than usual.
"Tell me, Mike", he asked him as they sat in his office after having closed a major merger "what's been going on with you?"
"What do you mean?", Mike asked.
"Your work is not worth a penny, every kid in kindergarten could have done what you did today. No, don't apologise", Harvey said "I'm not mad or whatever. I just want to know what's going on with you... and with Miriam."
"Oh", Mike sighed "I'm not sure if she would want me to talk to you about it. The whole thing's a pretty big deal for her..."
So... how about that?
(((If you don't like it, just wait up for the next chapter when Harvey deals with Miriam his very own way - which is a lot of fun to write.)))
Thanks for the reviews guys, I'm glad to hear your opinions!
Guest1: I'm sorry - as a romantic you might not enjoy this chapter very much (of course I hope you still do, after all there's some cute as fuck Mike going on here). But I'm glad I'm portraying Miriam all right and that you liked the last two chapters so much.
Guess: Yes, just lovely. Loooove-ly.
Guest2: Yeah, well finally we are now done with Connor... or are we? After all, there's still some stuff Miriam needs to realise. Well, I'm glad you loved the last chapter so much, let's see if, at one point I can write one you like even more :)
AS ALWAYS: THANKS FOR READING, GUYS! LOTS OF LOVE!