A/N: I'm kinda iffy on this chapter, oh well. I'm thinking that the next chapter after this one, will be the last chapter for this story.
Reminder: Italics, means it's a flashback.
Chapter 9
Don't blame the happenings and events of your life on some spiritual being.
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I looked up to see Kakuzu, who was holding my locket. "Did you lose something, Hikaru?"
My eyes grew wide, my throat dry. I stopped breathing. "Uh…I…I…" I stuttered. I didn't know what to say. What could I say?
"Tell me Hikaru, how long were you going to keep it to yourself?" He whispered softly, yet his tone of voice sent a shiver down my spine. "How long were you going to keep your identity hidden from me?" The volume of his voice began to escalate. I suddenly felt my feet lift off the ground and my back was slammed against the tree. I gasped for air as Kakuzu held me up by the neck. I gazed down at him confused. "Did you think you'd have a little fun!"
"N-no…." I gasped for air again.
"You think you could play me for a fool!"
"No..."
"Did you know ever since you came to us, I've been dreaming about you ever since! Your stupid smile, your bloody laugh going through my head again and again…it's driving me crazy!" I continued to look down at him, not that I could look anywhere else. I knew that I was crying and I was afraid that would make him even angrier. Hell, I don't even know why he's angry. I tried to blink back tears, but it just caused them to fall faster.
"All these years, you've been gone and you just pop back up in my life! What the hell is up with that!"
My tears of fear were replaced with tears of anger. "What the hell are you talking about?" I shouted, despite my lack of air. "You're the one who left me! You're the one who betrayed me! You're the one who broke my heart when you chose to carry on with your bloody job so you could get your bloody money! You're a fucking bastard!"
"Shut up…" Kakuzu growled, tightening his grip on my throat.
But I did not shut up; I had much more to say. Squirming under his grip, I continued. "Why the hell would you care that I'm alive and kicking anyways! You never even loved me! Did you!" I screamed at him, but gasped when I heard the familiar sound of my neck cracking and was surrounded by a familiar darkness.
Ke ke ke, what is this? The 4th time you've been killed in a month? Tsk tsk, Hikaru, you're losing your touch.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked in the dark. "Why did you make me see him again? Of all the people…"
I don't know what you're talking about, Jashin replied. I could hear a smirk in his voice.
"Don't bullshit me. Aren't you the damned spiritual being that controls my destiny?"
I suppose…
"What the hell do you mean you suppose!"
Sure, I control it. I made it so you were immortal, I made it so that your family would find you, but it was mere chance that you met Deidara and it was his choice to join the Akatsuki. I made it so you would finally meet my loyal follower, since the two of you were taking so damn long. It was mere chance that Kakuzu happened to be Hidan's partner.
"If you're trying to say something, will you just say it?"
Hikaru, you're the one who decided to stay with the Akatsuki. You could've left all this time if being with Kakuzu made you so uncomfortable.
My eyebrow twitched. "The only reason I stayed with Akatsuki was because you're fucking follower Hidan, who I spent eleven years looking for, was there."
…Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
"Jashin, what kind of God are you?"
What kind of god do you think I am?
"Hmmm…one that loves pain and suffering of his creations and has a lot of free time on his hands."
Come now. I don't enjoy the pain and suffering of all of my creations.
"Is that why you created this world of ninja? So you could amuse yourself with others pain and suffering?"
I created this world because I was bored, for my own amusement. I created humans so that they could make their own decisions, so I can sit back and watch. That's why I don't really meddle in with human affairs. Where would the fun be in that?
"Aren't you meddling in with my affairs?"
Why yes, yes I am, but you still of your ability to make decisions. I'm just pushing you an a certain direction. You can still turn and walk the other way.
"That doesn't make any sense."
Well I wouldn't expect your human sized brain to comprehend the thoughts and ideas of a God.
I was silent for a moment. "So did you create sex because you enjoy the moans, groans, and screams of innocent women losing their virginity?"
I was met by momentary silence. Shouldn't you be waking up right about now?
"Hn, perverted bastard," I muttered under my breath.
It doesn't matter if you mutter or not, I still know what you're thinking.
I groaned as I opened my eyes. It was no longer sunny. The sky was painted with dark grey swirls, but even so, it was still humid. I laid on the hard ground and Kakuzu was nowhere in sight. My eyes scanned the ground, searching for my locket, but it was nowhere to be seen. "Dear Jashin, I don't feel like moving," I said to no one in particular.
Drip…..Drip…..drip…drip…drip..drip drip drip drip drip, it began to rain. I watched as a spider near-by didn't even bother to move out of the rain. Only moving my arm, I was able to pick up the spider and move it to the roots of the tree. Allowing my arm to rest on the ground, I stayed where I lay, unmoving. The rain continued to fall down and matted my hair against my face. I began to weep, tears mixing with the rain on my face.
I want to forget. I don't want to remember. I want it to stop raining.
I don't even leave you alone for a minute, and you turn into an emo bitch.
"Jashin, I'm not in the mood anymore. My heart was broken, again, by the same person. I can be an emotional wreck right now if I want to…"
I'll send someone to come get you.
"No, right now I just want to be alone."
I stormed back into the base, angry beyond belief. I don't even know why was even that angry to begin with. Hikaru's words replayed in my head, "Why the hell would you care that I'm alive and kicking anyways! You never even loved me! Did you!"
"God damn it!" I slammed the door to my room and lay down on the bed. Thank the fucking lord Hidan wasn't in here right now. There's no way I'd be able to deal with him right now.
I held up the locket I still held to the light. I loved her. Even the lord Jashin, knows I loved her.
"Hikaru, why are you so upset?" I asked her. She had stormed out of a private meeting with her father and left to the garden.
"My father wants me to be married."
My eyes widened, but I stayed calm. "Married? Shouldn't you be happy about that?"
She shook her head. "I never even met the man," her voice was cold and lifeless.
"Well, you're 17 and still unmarried. Many nobles' daughters are married at 15 and 16. Your father's just worried for your future," I tried to act nonchalant about it, but the thought of another man with Hikaru, made my blood boil.
"But I'm happy with my life the way it is now."
"I'm sure it won't be that bad."
"I'm sure it won't be, but if I get married, then I'll be sent away. I don't think I'd be allowed to take you with me Kakuzu."
"What!"
"If I get married, my husband will already have bodyguards…so there'd be no reason to have you anymore," she cried.
I watched thin streams of tears fall down her cheeks. I frowned and took her face in my hands, wiping away the tears with my thumbs. I looked down into her eyes"I hate it when you cry, Hikaru."
My own eyes grew wide as she pulled me into a hug. "Kakuzu, I don't want to leave you," she said, burying her face into my chest. "I don't think I'd ever live without you."`
I whispered in her ear, "Turn around Hikaru." She looked up at me confused, but turned around obediently. I reached into my pocket, pulled out a heart shaped locket, and put it on her.
She looked down and I could hear a smile in her voice. "It's beautiful Kakuzu."
I hugged her from behind. "No plain ordinary ring would do for my proposal to you."
"Proposal?" Her voice sounded breathless.
"Hikaru, I want you to marry me."
"Marry you?" She repeated. "I can't."
"Why not?" My voice was still soft.
"Father…would never allow it. You're…you're not a noble."
"Then run away with me."
"Run away?"
"You don't want to get married to that other man anyways and I know why. It's because you love me, don't you?" I could tell that she was blushing, even though I couldn't see her face. It only made me hold her tighter.
"GOD DAMN IT!" I yelled and threw that damned necklace clear across the room. I thought I could have it all. I thought I could sell that damned ring and have Hikaru at the same time. If only Hikaru didn't come up to her stepmother's bedroom to give her tea, then things would have turned out much different. Stealing that damned ring turned out to be a waste anyway, since my employer died on me. Why didn't I just pick Hikaru? Why?
I was still lying on my bed a hour later since I was too frustrated to do anything. "Oi, Kakuzu," Hidan walked in. "Where's Hikari?"
"Why the hell would I know?" I asked, acting like I didn't care.
"It's been more than an hour since I got back from swimming with her earlier this afternoon. She said she'd be right behind me, but now I can't find her anywhere."
"Why don't you go find her then?"
"Why the hell would I do that!"
I stared at him strangely. "If you want her, why don't you just find her yourself?"
"What if she's having spiritual time with Jashin?"
My eye twitched. "What?"
Hidan then looked at me and smirked, "Or maybe she's out seeing a secret boyfriend."
"Like I care about that."
"I never fucking said that you did care."
"You were implying it."
"Whatever, go look for her," Hidan ordered me. "You were the last one to go into the base since this afternoon, so you're probably the last one who's seen her." Before I could say a word, Hidan left the room.
I walked in the rain, towards the spot I left Hikaru at. I was mad, surprised, and relieved when I found her still there. Her body was soaked and she was still wearing her red bikini. I knelt down beside her. "Hikaru, Hikaru," I nudged her to wake her up, but failed. Is she dead? Or is she asleep? If she's asleep...then how in the hell did she fall asleep in the rain! Sighing, I swept her up off the ground and proceeded to take her back to base.
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The events and happenings, during our life time, are the results of our own decisions.