A/N: Poor Kaoru and poor Ryou. I think I really like to torture the boys with awkward.

Disclaimer: I'd want to have a mansion where all my story characters could live and love…but sadly, they are not mine and they are not real people.

It was surprisingly easy to pass Kaoru off as a cancer patient. His nervous twitches and the way he slouched down in his seat seemed to be interpreted as a sign of illness. People were idiots, Ryou concluded. Thank goodness for that. He eyed the approaching waitress out of the corner of his eye. And Maki, or whatever her name was, seemed to be the worst of the bunch.

She smiled brightly. "Are you ready to order?"

"I'm not sure," Kaoru said slowly, his gaze flicking from Ryou back to the menu. "It all looks good."

"Just pick something," Ryou said. He wasn't going to choose for him. Kaoru needed to pick something he liked, not something Ryou liked.

"I could make you up a sampler plate," the waitress suggested. "So you can have a little bite of everything."

Kaoru glanced at Ryou, one eyebrow raised as if seeking approval. "That might be nice."

"Sure," Ryou said. "Let's do that."

"Perfect. It'll be ready in just a bit." She reached down to retrieve their menus and Kaoru cringed, huddling back against his chair.

"She wasn't going to hit you, idiot," Ryou hissed under his breath.

Kaoru straightened ever so slightly in his chair. "I know," he said. "I thought maybe she would try to pat my shoulder and tell me it would all be fine. I don't think I could bear it if someone touched me." He leaned forward across the table, with a faraway look in his eyes. "But you can touch me anyway you like."

Ryou's hands tightened around his teacup. It was maddening how easily Kaoru could make him blush. All he had to do was talk about all the mushy feelings he had and Ryou was bright red. He knew Kaoru wasn't doing it on purpose. Kaoru was innocent, naïve, and just wanted company. He wasn't trying to tease him. But oh god did it feel that way sometimes.

"Can you not talk like that in public?" Ryou hissed.

"Why should I hide my feelings for you?"

"You told them I'm your caretaker, right? Let's try to keep this professional."

"But I would be touched by your concern for my health and filled with overwhelming gratitude. I'd feel-"

"I get it," Ryou said. He flicked a glance towards the waitress bearing the tray of food. "Just tone it down a little, will you? You're supposed to sick."

"Oh." Kaoru slumped back down into his chair. "Suddenly, I don't think I have the strength to reach for your hand."

Ryou suppressed the urge to laugh with great difficulty. "You don't have to be so cheesy. You're-"

"Alright, one plate of everything. You guys dig in and tell me how you like it."

Ryou glanced at the platter, mentally dividing it in half. Kaoru wouldn't want anything with meat in it, so naturally Ryou would let him have all the sweet breads and the little sandwiches that appeared to just have cream cheese or jelly filling. Ryou was perfectly happy with the smoked salmon and the spicier seasoned meats on the little squares of bread.

He took the extra plates the waitress had provided and began portioning out their lunches. "You tell me if you don't like something, okay? I don't know what fruit you're into."

"I haven't had much fruit lately," Kaoru admitted. He popped a pickled plum in his mouth and winced. "I forgot how sour these things are."

"But they're good," Ryou said, helping himself to the other plum.

"This is nice, isn't it? The two of us enjoying a good meal without you having to cook for me."

"I like cooking," Ryou said. "And I like not having to eat alone all the time."

Kaoru coughed and turned his head, dabbing at his eyes. Ryou sighed. Of all the things that he had said to Kaoru, this had to be the thing that made him emotional.

Kaoru turned back and began nibbling at his watercress sandwich as he lamented that he didn't know how to cook. Ryou decided that he would pretend that little emotional outburst never happened. That seemed to be what Kaoru wanted. Ryou was glad that Kaoru at least recognized that some feelings needed to be kept private.

Ryou swallowed a bite of spicy sprout sandwich. "You can learn to cook," he said. "It's a good skill to learn if you want to become independent. You don't want your mother to be cooking for you forever. And besides, if you cook for yourself, you'll never have to worry about eating something you don't like."

"That makes sense," Kaoru said. He took a small bite out of the cream cheese and cucumber sandwich and then fell silent, staring off into space.

Ryou stared at him. Kaoru wasn't even chewing. "Hey, Kaoru, are you alright?"

Kaoru pushed his plate away. "I'll be right back," he murmured. "I'm going to the restroom."

"You better not be throwing up in there."

Kaoru smiled faintly. "Don't worry, Ryou. Everything was delicious."

Ryou frowned and looked at all the food still left on Kaoru's plate. He had eaten maybe half of the cucumber and cream cheese sandwich, a few bites of a scone, and had barely touched the mini blueberry muffin. Everything was bite-sized and Kaoru wasn't even managing to finish a single thing. He sighed and helped himself to Kaoru's muffin.

"How bad is it?"

He paused mid-bite and frowned up at the waitress. What the hell was she doing hovering around them asking stupid questions? The food was fine. She didn't need to pretend that everything sucked. Ryou hated false humility.

She coughed and turned pink. "I'm sorry. It's rude of me to ask his prognosis."

Ryou groaned and rubbed the back of his head. "He's doing better. He hasn't gotten out of the house much in the past year, but he really does like getting out to see the flowers." He propped his head on one hand. "He's not going to keel over in the middle of the restaurant, if that's what you're worried about. He's still got some time."

"That's not-well, it's good to hear he's doing okay. Did he like his food?"

Ryou shrugged. "He doesn't eat very much, but that doesn't always mean he doesn't like it. You can ask him yourself when he gets back."

"So, we're done with lunch, then?"

"Well, if you want to give us a takeout box I'm sure I can convince him to eat the rest of it later." Kaoru was probably just too nervous to eat much in public. Once they got back to his apartment, Ryou would make sure Kaoru ate more than a few nibbles of bread.

"Then you're all set." She smiled. "Thank you again for bringing him here to see us and we hope to see him again."

"No, we're not all set." Ryou tossed his wallet onto the table.

"Oh, don't worry about that. It's on the house today."

Ryou gritted his teeth. Oh hell no. He already felt guilty about the way everyone fussed over Kaoru and tried to make the experience the best for him and he wasn't about to accept free food. He tried to tell the waitress as much, but she just smiled.

"We don't have a sampler plate in the menu, so there isn't a price for it anyway."

Ryou opened his mouth for another argument, but instead grimaced as he felt a hand tightly grip his shoulder. He was happy to be a steady presence for Kaoru when people unnerved him, but surely nothing was frightening enough to squeeze his shoulder to death.

"You want to sit down for a second while our waitress gets our bill ready?" He cast a sharp glare at her, daring her to continue arguing with him.

"Yes. I need to sit. Maybe….maybe that will help."

"Kaoru?" Ryou asked hesitantly. Kaoru's voice sounded faint and unsteady.

Kaoru sagged into his chair. "I don't feel very well," he said. His eyes were watery and unfocused and he seemed barely able to keep from falling out of his chair.

"Oh fuck," Ryou said.

"Should I call a doctor?" Maki asked, her voice high-pitched with worry.

"He's fine," Ryou snapped. "He just overexerted himself." He slapped a few yen down on the table. "This should cover everything. Come on, Kaoru, let's go home."

Ryou waited until they were a good distance away from the café before he directed Kaoru over to a bench. Kaoru sank into it with a weary sigh.

"Damnit, Kaoru. If you're just acting this sick, I'm going to kill you."

"No," Kaoru said. "I really do feel terrible." He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the bench. "I feel so cold and so tired. Maybe this is karma for pretending I had cancer."

"Don't say that," Ryou said sharply. "This isn't cancer. It's probably just a cold." He put a hand to Kaoru's forehead. The man definitely had a fever.

Kaoru shuddered. "Ryou, please. Your hands are cold."

Ryou sighed. "Let's get you home and get you some vegetable broth and some nice warm tea."

With difficulty, he helped Kaoru back up from the bench and put an arm around his waist, steadying him as they walked back out of the park. Kaoru seemed weaker than usual, his legs barely able to hold him upright.

Ryou was beginning to get concerned. Kaoru was so fragile. All it had taken to completely wear him out was to spend an afternoon looking at flowers and eating sandwiches. It was hardly strenuous exercise, but Kaoru looked about to faint from exhaustion.

Once they were back at the apartment, Kaoru immediately flopped down on the couch and curled into the cushions. "I know naps are bad," Kaoru mumbled, "but I really feel like taking one right now."

"You're sick. You need to get some rest. And you need to drink lots of water."

"I don't want any water. It hurts to swallow."

"If you're not going to try and take care of yourself for me, I'm sending you home right now and your mom can fuss over you."

Kaoru sighed. "I don't want to be a burden to you."

"You're not going to be a burden as long as you do what I tell you." Ryou rolled up his sleeves. "I don't care if it hurts your throat. You're going to start drinking."