Cecld16: Yes, exactly. It's very hypocritical of him to expect Gabe to stand up to his family when he won't do the same to Sam. Thank you for your review! I'll update soon!

Enecs: I'm glad you love it!

Maya: Oh, my! I'm flattered! :') Thank you! I'll update soon.

Wolfenergy17: Thank you for telling me the name for that! :) I'm glad you like this story. I've been getting better at English and tenses, so I hope the next chapters are good. Thank you for your review! I'll update soon!

SirAvery: Thank you! :') I'm glad you like this story. And yes, I know, it's not very buyable the relationship between Lily and the guys and their reactions, but I hope to make it better with the next chapters, to fix all of that. I'm glad you like how Lily and Gabe are :) I'll update soon!

The bad communication I've had with my brothers over this few days I've been out of hell is worrying me. Every time I enter a room and they're there, they stop talking and suddenly found other things to do. I know they must be feeling weird with me. Having me around after so many years must be hard—but they're not thinking about me. I'm not feeling very comfortable either. Hell left an impact on me, and I'm not the same woman I used to be.

But deep down I still need my brothers. I said I was going to help them—and I meant it.

But how can I help if they don't trust me with important stuff?

How can I help if they won't talk to me?

I shifted on my bed. It was midnight already, and I couldn't sleep. I didn't wanted to sleep, everytime I closed my eyes all I saw were demons and hell...

"Lily?"

I quickly blinked away any traces of dried tears. Dean opened the door to my motel room and approached me, his hands on his pockets.

"Hey, Dean," I said softly. "Can I help you with something?"

I waited for his reply, but he simply took a seat on my bed with me. His eyes were soft and gentle, his whole face looked moderately calm, as if he thought I would break over a hard look.

"How're ya feeling, Lily?"

I raised my eyebrows, and tried for a smile, but I was more than sure it looked like a grimace, and I winced internally. "Me? I'm always okay."

Dean blinked a couple of times, exhaling from his nose. I knew him enough to know he was searching for some way to express himself without making this some emotional drama that could end awkward for the two of us. "I went to hell too, Lily. You don't have to lie to me."

I winced again as the thought of Dean going through all I went in hell.

"I'm not lying," I said, but I was. "I'm perfectly okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

Dean pursed his lips, but it wasn't in annoyance. "Look, Lily. I went to hell too, I know what you're going through, and I know you're not okay."

I swallowed hard. I understood Dean was trying to be there for me, and that was a big accomplishment because the Dean I remembered hated chick-flick moments, and I really appreciated the gesture. But I had no intentions about talking about hell. I couldn't bring myself to do it, not without breaking down all over again, and that's something I didn't wanted to do.

"Look, I'm okay. And if you don't mind, I really just want to be alone now. So..." I pointed to the door, expecting him to leave. Instead, he sat closer to me, making me flinch a little.

"I've seen you, okay?" he snapped, too worried about me to care if he was being harsh. "I've seen you drown yourself in alcohol, and shut yourself, and, Lily..." he scooted closer to me, his hands going to my hair as he tried to caress me. I flinched away from his touch, thinking of how the demons used to touch me. He lowered his hand slowly and awkwardly, his eyes taking a worried look. "I've heard you cry and shout at nights."

"I'm sorry," I said, trying not to show how broken I actually was.

But it was harder than anything.

With every passing second I just wanted to cry. Hell was the most horrible place someone could ever imagine. And if having your soul tainted every single second there, to have demons raping you senseless every day for hundreds of years was more than enough to break someone. And it broke me. I wasn't the same woman I used to be, and I don't think I'll ever be that woman again—and I hate that.

I hate that I can't look at myself in the mirror without seeing them, without seeing hell...

"Don't apologise," Dean grunted.

"Sorry," I said again.

He rolled his eyes, and he pulled me to himself. I tensed immediately, not feeling my brothers comfort but the touch of those demons that haunted me on hell.

"Please don't touch me," I breathed out, trying to move away from his grasp. "I don't want to talk about it, please. Just...leave me be, leave me alone."

Dean let go of me startled. His eyes held so much worry that I winced once again. The least I wanted was to hurt him, but I really wanted to be alone.

"Lily..." he whispered horrified. "What did they do to you?"

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see Dean's pitiful look. "Leave me alone."

"I'm not leaving you, Lily," Dean snapped, making me open my eyes. "I'm not leaving you out of my sight again, I left you that day after the Trickster on the university, and from that on everything went downhill. I suffered so much when I learned you died because of me..."

"I didn't die because of you!" I tried to protest, but Dean cut me off.

"If we had been together that wouldn't have happened. I'm not getting separate from you, not again." Dean said firmly. "You, me and Sam. We'll get over this like a family, together."

"But I don't want to drag any of you in this, I don't want you two to worry over me when there's the Apocalypse still going around—"

"To hell with the Apocalipse!" Dean exclaimed. "The Apocalipse can fuck itself for all that matters. I just want us to be together. I want you to be okay."

I looked at him, slowly shaking my head. I didn't liked to be put first than the end of the world, but deep down I liked to know my brother worried so much over me.

"I know you don't want to talk about hell, not so soon." Dean said gently, hesitating before taking my hand. This time I agreed to the contact and intertwined our fingers together. "But please know I'm here for you for when you feel ready, Sammy too. It's not good to bottle up those emotions, that can't do you any good."

I stared at him for some seconds. He was so changed, so mature and so different...I felt proud of his change.

"Thank you," I whispered softly.

There was a small pause in which Dean shifted on the bed. That moment made me think of how awkward both my brothers had been the past days with me. I frowned momentarily, but stopped myself from asking why were they so hesitant around me.

"Tell me something," I said instead. He looked at me expectantly. "Does it get better? You know, the nightmares and stuff..."

Dean pursed his lips, and once again I felt overwhelmed by his soft and gentle look on my direction. "I'm not going to tell you it's going to be alright, because it's not. The nightmares will continue, and you'll still feel...lost and broken—"

I interrupted him, worried. "Do you still feel like that?"

He pursed his lips again, looking at me in the eye. "We'll get over this, together. Sam, you, and me. I'm not losing either of you to this stupid apocalypse. When this is all over, we'll go away, just the three of us."

I swallowed hard, doubting how that could be true. The Apocalypse was a very big deal, I knew of it—thanks to Gabriel, and...he said it himself, there was no way of stopping fate. But, seeing how sure my brother looked, and how he was trying not to just reassure me but also himself, I simply nodded.

"That sounds nice," I said.

He tried to smile at me, but I knew it was fake because his eyes showed no happiness. For a second I wondered what kind of troubles were my brothers going with having me back again, and I swallowed.

"I'm going now, will you be alright alone?" Dean asked softly.

I tried to smile again. "I already told you, I'm always okay."

He rolled his eyes. "Can I hug you goodnight?"

I was surprised by the question, but I appreciated his respect towards my boundaries. "Sure."

He enveloped me in a tight hug, crushing my sides in such a comforting and warm manner that I but my lips to keep myself from sobbing. The first seconds I winced, imagining the demons once again, but Dean's warmness calmed me a little.

It was my brother, I told myself. It was Dean, not the demons.

I hesitantly hugged him back, hiding my face on his neck. And we stood like that for a whole minute.

When we separated I realised a few tears had escaped my eyes. Before I could try and hide them, Dean wiped them with his thumbs gently. He patted my head and left, not after taking hold of the bottle of wine on my nightstand.

I simply sighed.

"No more drinks, Lily," Damon called over his shoulders as he closed the door. "I want to see you sober."

But I didn't wanted to be sober. I just wanted to feel that calmness that being drunk gave me. I liked to forget, and I only could with alcohol.

I hold my sleep as long as I could, but in the end my tiredness won and I ended up falling asleep. The nightmares that followed were the worst I've had till that moment.

I dreamt of James, the demon that used to hurt me and rape me, he was laughing at me, telling me how he would have me again, telling me that I hadn't escaped him, not really, and that he was coming to get me back to hell.

...

Next morning, I was just getting out of the shower when Sam entered my room. He looked just as awkward as Dean had looked last night, but his eyes were happy when they saw me. That made me smile, he actually looked happy to see me, and that warmed me.

"Hey, Sammy," I tried for a smile. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Lily. I brought you breakfast."

He let down on the small table a couple of bags and he sat on the chair close and put his laptop over the table too. My interest was sparked, and I approached the table and opened the bag.

"Already doing research?" I rose my eyebrows as I started eating my breakfast, taking a seat at his side.

"We think there could be a case not far from here, but we're not sure yet." Sam explained.

I ate in silence as he explained to me what the case seemed to be of. But I wasn't actually listening, I was more centred on the fact that Sam, unlike Dean, wasn't going to try and know if I was alright. That didn't bothered me, I still didn't wanted to talk about it with anyone, but I would've liked to know he cared.

I mean, I know he does. But still...

"Lily, you okay?" Sam tapped his fingers on my arm.

I jumped. "Yes, sorry, I'm okay. You were saying?"

He softened his body. "I know you don't want to talk about it, Lily, I heard your conversation with Dean last night. But I also heard you crying in your sleep. Do you want to talk about it?"

I swallowed, feeling very embarassed. From all he could've heard, he hear me crying. That made me feel weak and dumb.

"I never wanted you to hear that," I said. "But...I won't say I'm okay, but I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," Sam said, nodding at me. "Just know I'm here for you, anytime."

"Thank you," a real smile appeared on my face for a second.

Sam always was the best at expressing comfort just through his eyes, and I loved that about him.

"So, about the case," Dean's voice called.

I quickly looked towards it, and saw him on the door, taking a bite of a toast as he eyed Sam and me. I gave him a small nod and a smile before he nodded too and sat with us on the table.

"Yeah," Sam said, looking down at his computer again.

He explained quickly and precisely what the case seemed to be about, and we decided to head there immediately. A young girl had committed suicide after a rough fight with her parents, but the weirdest thing was the signs of struggle on her body. And the camera on her room showed her struggling as an invincible force tied her to a rope and pulled. We thought it was a ghost or a poltergeist.

"When are we leaving?" I asked as I stood with them off the table.

Both Sam and Dean stopped, sharing a long look before looking back at me.

"Lily..." Sam hesitated.

I undertood then, I wasn't going with them. I crossed my arms and looked at them with my best scowl. "Why am I not going?"

"You're fresh out of hell, Lily, going on a case won't help you much," Dean said. "It's best if you stay here and rest."

"We'll call you soon after we arrive there, if you need anything just give us a call. It's only a four hour drive—"

"But I want to go," I interrupted Sam.

"You're in no condition to work, Lily." Dean said, harder this time. "You've spent years without fighting."

He was right, but I frowned. That was something else that bothered me. My bones felt weaker and my body too. I got tired of trivial things like walking up stairs, and I wasn't like that. I seriously needed to exercise again and train. That if I wanted to survive and help my family.

Sam continued before I could try and defend myself. "Stay here and be safe."

So that's what they were trying to do—they wanted to keep me safe. They were cutting me off their things so I wouldn't get in danger. As much as that warmed me, it irritated me too. I was weaker now, and not really stable, but I still could defend myself. I still could help them.

"Okay," I sighed, hating that word for so much I've used it already. "I'll stay, but call me when you get there. And please, be careful, both of you."

Both smiled at the same time at me, and ruffled my hair, like if I was the younger one there.

"We're always safe, Lily," Dean grinned at me, using my own words.

I couldn't help but snort as I rolled my eyes.

So an hour later they left the motel and drove off on the Impala. For a second I stood watching the window, but then a dread started to work itself on my body. Realisation struck like lightning, and I got scared.

I was alone.

Fully and completely alone now.

Sam and Dean weren't next door anymore. They were gone—for some hours, maybe a day or two, and I was alone.

My dream with James last night came back to me, and I got worried. There was no way he escaped hell, but since the Apocalypse started demons had been escaping easier now...That scared me deeply, the thought of my dream being true and James being here on Earth.

I quickly closed all windows and double locked the door. I went back to my nightstand and retrieved the knife Dean had loaded me, the one that supposedly could kill demons. I studied the metal for a minute before nodding to myself.

That could keep me safe if James was indeed out of hell and searching for me.

I turned and slowly got into my bed again, turning the tv on for a distraction. I kept fidgeting with the knife, turning it around my fingers as I tried to distract myself with the television, but every little noise outside made me jump and tighten my grab on the knife.

It had been more than an hour, and now I had gotten up the bed and was in the small kitchen preparing myself a coffe so I wouldn't fall asleep Beacuse of my boredomness and Beacuse of how little I slept last night.

As I purred the liquid into the cup, a clapping of wings behind my back startled me.

My body reacted before my mind could, and I turned around as fast as I could, and slammed the knife into the chest of whoever had been behind me. Blinking up at the man, I realised it was the blue eyed angel from before, Castiel I think it was, my brothers friend.

"Oh, God," I exclaimed as I rose my hands as if to take the knife back, but I hesitated flinching. "I am so so sorry, I didn't knew it was you—"

I stopped when he simply looked down at the knife on his chest, and took it off without even wincing. I puffed a breath out, wide eyed, but he simply nodded down at me.

"I'm sorry I startled you. I'm starting to think its something you Winchesters do to greet me," he gave the knife back to me. "Dean stabbed me too the first time we met."

"I'm sorry," I said again, embarrassed by my reaction. "Are you okay? Didn't I hurt you?"

I was confused as he looked to be okay and wasn't even bleeding. He wasn't even out of breath nor annoyed, he was...just there.

"I'm an angel of the lord, it takes more than a knife to hurt me." he explained gently, and I detected a small amount of smugness and proudness behind his statement.

"That's...cool." I admitted.

I felt more at ease now, I turned around and continued preparing my coffee. He was a friend of my brothers, and therefore that made me trust him. Besides, he helped me a lot when Gabriel trapped us together on that parallel channel.

"What are you doing here? Sam and Dean are gone, found a case." I said softly, turning once again and taking a long drink of my cup.

"I'm aware of that. Dean asked me to check up on you, he wanted to be sure you were alright."

I suddenly grimaced, putting my cup down on the counter. Crossing my arms I stared awkwardly at the angel in front of me. "So he sent you to babysit me?"

There must have been distaste on my voice, because Castiel suddenly narrowed his eyes at me, tilting his head slightly to the side. He looked very cute doing that, I noticed. It was like he couldn't understand something.

"Are you angry because of Dean's request?"

His question surprised me, but I remembered Gabriel's words about how angels weren't programmed to have emotions or to understand anything like metaphors and sarcasm. That made Castiel cuter on my eyes, but beyond that I knew he was a powerful being, just like Gabriel was.

"I'm not angry," I explained, uncrossing my arms. "It just exasperates me how he doesn't trust me to take care of myself. I'm a grown woman, I'm very much capable of taking care of myself."

"I don't doubt that. Neither do them, but they're worried about you. They just want you to be safe, to know you're safe."

I looked at the angel before shaking my head softly and sighed. I knew that's what they wanted, but sending an angel to babysat me wasn't going to help me. Though I felt safer now that I wasn't alone, that didn't meant I liked the idea of having someone take care of me.

"Are you staying then?"

"As long as that doesn't make you uncomfortable. Yes, I'll stay here to make sure you are safe."

I couldn't help but smile at how he spoke. "Okay then, but I must warn you, I'm not someone nice to be around right now, I'm boring and unsociable."

"Hell does that to you, transforms you into someone you're not," Castiel voice held no malice towards me, it was an innocent statement, but it made me swallow.

"Certainly didn't affected Dean, he seems to be the same he was before. He doesn't look haunted nor hurt. But then, he's always been very good at hiding his emotions."

"Everyone suffers differently, Lily. Dean is...more haunted than he lets on, but you..." he squinted his eyes at me again, his head tilted to the side. "You are really broken. Broken beyond any hope."

I felt a hole on my stomach at his statement, and I swallowed, breaking away from his blue eyes that seemed to bore into my mind. "That's not something nice to say to anyone, Castiel."

He blinked. "I'm sorry, I was just being honest with you."

I looked down at my bare feet. The floor suddenly become very interesting to me. After a second of hesitation I looked up at him. "Do you really think that?"

He looked at me.

"Do you really think I'm beyond any hope?" I dared to ask.

I couldn't live like that. If he really thought so I was doomed. I didn't wanted to live like I'm living all my life. I couldn't, not when all I felt was fear and confusion and hurt all over again. That wasn't life, not really.

He suddenly sighed, and I saw pity on his eyes. "Everyone deserves to be saved, you just as much as Dean deserved it. But unlike Dean, there's no...light in you. There's no wish in you to overcome that turmoil of feelings you have inside."

"I don't want to overcome it," I said, shaking my head almost desperately. "I just want to forget it all. I don't want to remember a single moment I spent there."

"Bottling up emotions isn't healthy, Lily. I know it must be hard, but you need to open yourself to someone, to your brothers, to talk about it...you need to overcome it. Because if you don't..."

He didn't finished his sentence, but there was no need. That statement confirmed my fears, and for my embarrassment I felt my eyes getting wetter. I blinked the tears away with irritation. Lately all I ever did was cry.

"But I'm scared," I admitted, not knowing why I was saying that to someone I barely knew. But I guess what we went through together in Gabriel's parallel channels was enough for me to trust him. He literally saved me a lot there, and helped me without knowing me. "I'm scared that if I say it out loud it'll come back to haunt me. I...I'm scared."

"It's a normal human emotion," Castiel told me gently. "It's okay to be scared. But you should never let your fear overcome you."

I swallowed once again, and looked down. He gently put a hand on my shoulder, and I looked up. His eyes were bluer than I thought, and his look was so gentle I felt my throat tighten. I couldn't remember the last time someone besides my brothers had looked at me gently...

"Thank you for making me company," I told him, trying to change the topic away from my feelings and hell and everything that I didn't to think about. "I imagine you must have more important things to do than just watching over me."

"I'm used to watch over the Winchesters," he nodded down at me. That made me wonder how deep his relationship with my brothers were. I liked to think of them having someone to watch over them, even more when that someone was a powerful angel. "It's no problem at all."

We moved from the kitchen back to where my bed was along with a couch and the tv. Castiel sat on the couch while I went back to bed. Wrapping my covers around myself I sighed.

"Is there any new from...you know, the Apocalypse?" I dared to ask.

Castiel turned to me. "How much do you know?"

"I only know what Gabriel showed me and what my brothers shared with me, which I suppose it's the shortened version."

Castiel nodded and proceeded to tell me, from the beginning, how the Apocalypse started. I was more than shocked when he told me the first seal was broken when Dean was sent to hell. Something along the lines of the Righteous Man.

"But I was innocent and I went to hell before Dean, doesn't that makes me the Righteous Man—well, woman—instead of him?"

"It would, but it had to be a man—the Righteous Man, so while your sacrifice was a big deal, it wasn't big enough to break the first seal."

"Oh" I said. "That's...kind of sexist."

"Yes, it is." Castiel agreed with me.

He continued, but I stopped him again when he started to talk about a Prophet of the Lord. Someone called Chuck. And with that it came the books discussion, and I was left in shock.

"You mean to tell me there are books about me? About my family?"

"The Winchesters gospel, they will be known as," Castiel affirmed. "If you wish to read the books I think they are on the Internet, if not, we can call Chuck and he can sends us a copy."

"Books," I said again. "There are books about us."

"Wasn't I clear the first time?" Castiel rose his eyebrows, seeming truly confused.

"I can't believe it. Ew, who would want to read our fucked up lives?" I crunched up my nose, and that seemed to amuse Castiel.

He opened his mouth, but before he could my stomach grumbled, interrupting both of us. I blushed furiously, and he looked even more amused.

"I'm sorry," I said, only then realising how hungry I was. Quickly scanning the room, I noticed there was nothing for me to eat apart from the mini refrigerator the room had, but I didn't liked any of the items there.

"I'm hungry," I stated the obvious. "Sam left money for me, I'm gonna go buy me something to eat. You coming with me?"

I already knew he was, Dean had called him to babysit me, and he was going to follow Dean's request.

He nodded.

I grabbed one of the new jackets my brothers buy me and grabbed the fake credit card Sam left for me, and I headed outside with Castiel at my heels.

"It's only a street away from here, you don't mind walking, do you?" I turned to him, only to see him shaking his head.

"You're different from what I expected," Castiel said after a few minutes in silence.

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "What were you expecting? A mini Dean or a mini Sam?"

I was joking, but Castiel missed it. "It would be impossible for someone to be the mini of someone. Every human is different, it doesn't matter if they're your family, you could never be exactly like them."

I couldn't help but giggle. I was surprised by the sound, and Castiel at my side rose one side of his face slowly, as if that was his smile.

"You're funny," I smiled at him, once again surprising myself by my ease around him and how a little fresh air cleared my mind from hell.

He seemed confused by my words, and then I reminded myself what Gabriel told me about how angels couldn't understand metaphors nor sarcasm. I was surprised Castiel still hadn't completely mastered the art of sarcasm considering he is my brothers friend.

"Thank you." he said. "And to answer your question; I expected you to be...I'm not sure, different."

"How different?" I frowned. "Bad different or good different?"

"Just different," he answered. "I used to hear your prayers, and how caring you were towards people and your family. I thought you would be this young woman with an old soul..."

"Sorry to disappoint you," I grimaced softly at the thought of my prayers. "Wait. You heard my prayers? Angels do that? I mean, I prayed to God not to angels."

"We angels can hear prayers, it doesn't matter to whom it is directed."

I nodded in understanding. It warmed to know that I hadn't been wasting my time when I prayed, it warmed to know that someone up there listened.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" I asked as we approached the cafeteria. He stayed silent, and I continued. "I mean, you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"What's your question?" he sounded curious.

"God, is He..." I stumbled for how to phrase my question. "How is He?"

"I don't know." Castiel answered, making me stop and look at him. He looked away from me as he opened the door for me. I entered, and he continued in a softer tone of voice. "Only a few knows. Father doesn't get involved into things, not directly at least."

"So you've never seen Him?" I widened my eyes. "You've never seen your own father?"

He looked at me for a second, and then shook his head.

I dropped the subject when I saw the pain and frustration underneath his blue eyes. It was the same frustration and pain that was underneath Gabriel's eyes when he mocked Castiel for his search of God in the parallel Chanel he trapped us all.

"I'm sorry," I said at last.

A waitress showed us where to seat, and once we were sitting and I ordered, I turned back to him. "You want something?" He shook his head, and the waitress left.

"I don't need food." Castiel told me when she was gone. At my surprised look he pointed to himself. "Angel of the Lord."

"But Gabriel is an angel too and I've seen him eat," I tilted my head.

Castiel's eyes changed at the mention of his brother. "Gabriel is different. He doesn't consider himself an archangel anymore. He calls himself a Trickster."

I knew that. Grabriel himself had told me his reasons and explained in detail all of that. Castiel narrowed his eyes at me, once again tilting his head to the side. "How do you know Gabriel? And I don't mean just as the Trickster like your brothers know him. You seem to know him better than them."

"I don't," I scoffed. "We're not even friends nor acquaintances. He just...he told me he was my guardian angel, but I don't know how true is that. After what he did to me, how he tortured me...I don't see how that's a guardian angel."

Castiel seemed to understand something then, his eyes widened and he sat back on his chair. "Gabriel is your guardian angel?"

It didn't sounded like a question, it sounded more like an statement, but I nodded. "That's what he told me."

"That certainly explains a lot."

The waitress came again with my food, and I tried to smile at her politely. When she left I turned back to Castiel. "It does?"

He nodded, but he seemed lost in thoughts, so I concentrated on my food.

...

After eating I went to the bathroom quickly. I stared at myself in the mirror; my blonde hair was longer than it had been before, and my eyes were surrounded by dark circles. I looked more pale and thin than before, and I grubbed to myself as I watched my hands.

The handprint just below my shoulder, right on my arm, caught my attention as I continued looking at myself in the mirror. I frowned to myself before putting my hand on it, the skin there felt normal, but the handprint seemed to be imprinted into my skin like a tattoo.

A reminder of what I went through...I groaned to myself and lowered my hands to the sink, gripping it tightly I forced myself to forget it all. I was out now, and that's what counted. Looking at the handprint again I had to frown.

I still couldn't believe Gabriel was the one that raised me from hell. I couldn't understand his reasons, when I asked him he just waved me off by asking me if I didn't wanted to be rescued, to which I had said at not by him, that he was a monster...

But if he was a monster like I said, why did he bothered himself to rescue me?

It was like I said, we weren't even friends, we just had some things in common, our dysfunctional families being the main topic, but nothing more than that. There was also the fact that he was my guardian angel, but that wasn't a motive big enough to risk himself by going to hell to rescue me.

The sound of a door closing behind me made me jump, and I prepared to leave. Before I could, the sickening smell of sulfur stopped me. A fear rose in me, and I turned slowly. There, just behind me was a brunette middle aged man, his eyes were brown, but when he saw me, he flicked them and they become completely black.

A demon.

"Hello, love." his voice was different, but there was no mistaking on that horrible nickname.

Fear overcome me and I stumbled back, hitting my back as I shook against the wall. He chucked and started to approach me. I sucked in gasps and tried to escape, but he quickly closed the distance between us and trapped me there, his hands at both sides of me.

"Lily..." his name rolled out with pent up desire, and I felt tears appearing on my eyes.

Not this again. Not this again, not now, not here. No, no, no, no, no...

"Why are you here?" I sobbed, feeling weak and vulnerable and very much naked under his penetrating glare.

"I couldn't let my pet get away from me," he caressed my cheek with sickening slowness. I closed my eyes with fear and tried to force my way away from his grasp, but he was too strong for me; he was using his inhuman strength.

"Let go of me!" I snapped, but the effect was damaged by my voice breaking and theme tears.

"You got your fire back," he noticed with a wicked smile. "I like fire. It's going to be so much fun to have you back, love. I can't wait to torture you again. I missed you so much..."

As he spoke, his hands roamed my body. One of them stopped at the handprint accidentally, and I felt my whole arm burning. I hissed and pushed his as hard as I could, but he simply narrowed his eyes, holding his hands as if he felt the burn too.

I took advantage of the situation to throw a kick up his groin. He stumbled back, hands going to cover his private parts, as if the kick actually hurt him. I quickly run towards the door, but an invincible force threw me back up to the wall, this time hitting the back of my head so strong that I found myself seeing double.

Black dots danced on my vision, and I forced myself to keep my eyes open. After a second everything started going back to normal, but I was still under an horrible pain.

"You little bitch," he snarled, gasping up.

"Fuck you!" I snarled back, ignoring momentarily the pain on my head and making another run towards the door. This time, however, it was his arms that stopped me.

He wrapped his arms around me, and as I struggled under his grip, he slammed me into the counter next to the sink. I screamed, yelling for help as I continued struggling.

"Stay put you little wench!" he hissed, his left hand pushing forcefully on my back. My cheek touched the sink, and I continued struggling. My feet were off the ground as he hold me like that for a whole minute in which my escape tried were in vain.

Fear swallowed me whole when I heard the sound of a zipper being opened. I froze, suddenly understanding why he was holding me like that.

"NO!" I yelled, moving wildly unto his grasp, trying to move away from it, but he was using his inhuman strength once again; I couldn't move, I couldn't escape.

"I wanted to wait for us to be back in your cell so the fun would begin, but why wait." his voice sounded agitated as his hands forced my pants down my legs along with my underwear. I knew this was his way of punishing me for kicking him and for escaping hell.

"Stay still!" he yelled in frustration, his other hand going to my hair to push my face back to the sink.

"Help!" I yelled, confused as to why no one had come to my rescue as our fight was very loud. "Help! Rape! Rape! Help!—"

"Rape?" James laughed loudly. "Oh, love, that's rich coming from you."

I felt his member up at my back, and as he moved to enter me, one of his hands touched my sides again, ignoring my screams and wails of terror. He entered me, and my yells got loud as more tears fell from my face.

"HELP!" I sobbed, falling apart immediately.

James laughed at me.

I couldn't believe this was happening to me again. I wanted to die, I truly wanted to die. He moved roughly the first seconds as he continued touching my sides. He touched the handprint, but this time the burning seemed more strong, and he hissed, moving his hands away as he stopped thrusting.

"What the hell is that, Lily?" he snapped, forgetting his lust as he eyed the handprint Gabriel left me when he rescued me from hell. "Who did that to you?"

I heard the sound of flapping wings behind us, and I closed my eyes, praying that it was Castiel. James quickly snarled, moving away from me. He threw me to a wall as he started fighting with someone. My eyes were too blurry with tears to notice who it was, but I was sure it was Castiel; after all I had heard the flapping of wings.

I tried to stand, but my knees gave up on me, and I then crawled away from the fight. Helping myself with the wall I stood up and pulled my underwear and my pants up as fast as my shaking fingers allowed me.

I thought about running away, but I stopped when I heard an anguished cry coming from James. I turned, wide eyed, and saw with extreme satisfaction how his face looked burned and his eyes bleed, his whole face looking like it was burning. After a second of being like that, he fell, unmoving...dead.

Panting, I saw my saviour standing just behind where James had been. In that moment I felt confused, because the flapping of wings had me believing my saviour was Castiel, but instead of him, my saviour was a blonde man with bright golden eyes.

"Gabriel?" I breathed out, totally confused.

I had very mixed feelings for Gabriel. I didn't knew if I could trust him, not after everything he did to me, of how he tortured me...but then there was the undeniable fact that he had protected me all my life as my guardian angel and that he rescued me from hell...

He eyed me over, checking for any injury, and then his eyes met the handprint; it was still burning, but now it was a shooing burn, like something very warm. I wondered momentarily if his appearance had anything to do with a demon touching the handprint and it burning a nasty burn.

Whatever. I wasn't complaining, not at all. He didn't only rescued me but killed the demon that wanted to take me back to hell; a demon that had caused me so much pain and torture...

Suddenly, the adrenaline kicked off, and I felt my body ache. I winced and my knees gave up once again. I fell again, only this time a pair of hands caught me from behind, and before I could freak out, Castiel's voice sounded.

"You okay, Lily?"

I nodded, unable to say anything else. He steadied me and I found myself leaning against him, my eyes still glued to where James and Gabriel were.

"She's about to go into shock," Gabriel explained to Castiel, but his eyes were on me. "This demon was raping her and threatening to send her back to hell. Now, where the hell were you when all of this happened?"

I didn't missed the annoyance on his voice, but I was starting to feel dizzy, so I couldn't concentrate completely on it. Castiel narrowed his eyes at his older brother. "Dean called for me—"

"And you always go when Dean calls," Gabriel said, an unamused smile on his face. "Look how well that ended, Lily nearly goes back to hell."

Castiel looked sheepish at that, but his eyes were annoyed too. "Dean needed me. I wasn't going to ignore his call. Where were you? Aren't you her guardian?"

Gabriel grunted. "I'm no angel. I'm a Trickster, Tricksters don't have responsibilities. The thing is, she was left in your charge and you disappeared to help your boyfriend. I, instead, had to fly my way here to save her little ass from being hauled to hell. Explain, Castiel, what the hell made you think she was going to be safe? She's fresh from hell! There are demons searching for her!"

I winced at his annoyed words, but they weren't directed towards me, they were directed towards his brother.

"I'm surprised, brother." Castiel sounded as monotone as ever, but I detected a hint of curiosity underneath it all. "You risked yourself to be discovered only to help her. Why?"

Gabriel scoffed. "I don't have to explain myself to you."

"No, but it's not only now that I'm talking about." Castiel let go of me, and I grabbed the wall for support. He walked towards his brother until they were face to face. "You risked yourself to be discovered the second you stepped into hell and when you brought her back. And now you risked yourself again."

"Someone has to." Gabriel looked towards me as he said it.

Castiel stared at him blankly, and that made Gabriel scoff and roll his eyes.

"Don't give me that look. If I don't worry about her no one will. Everyone's too centred on Sam and Dean to remember about her. And, surprisingly, it seems its me the only one that remembers she exists and that cares enough to save her ass! And don't you dare try to deny it, you know it's true."

There was a long pause after that. Under all the pain that I was feeling I was confused. Gabriel seemed to have taken it personal now and was implying what deep down we all knew. My brothers cared for me, there was no doubt, but they had done nothing to get me out of hell.

Instead, someone I barely knew and someone that shouldn't care at all risked himself and saved me from an eternity of torture in hell.

That was so confusing, so so so confusing; everything they were saying was making me dizzier.

Castiel tilted his head to the side, and invaded Gabriel's personal space as he stared curiously at his eyes. "You care about her?"

"I don't have to explain anything else to you." Gabriel scoffed, seeming angry by something I couldn't understand. "I'm out of here."

He strolled towards the door, but stopped at my side. "Are you okay, Lily?"

"No," the words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. I wasn't okay, I was very far from okay after having James raping me again. I was...I had no words to describe how I was, and it certainly wasn't okay.

Gabriel nodded, a sad look on his eyes, and turned again to leave. Before he could I grabbed his elbow, making him stop and glance down at me. I probably looked very vulnerable and broken, because he softened his stare.

"Thank you for saving me." I whispered.