Hello again, squad! How are you guys? Welcome to another chapter by Zakkie, and posted alone given that Toph is away in Cambodia. (She'd be wishing you well and many thanks, I know.)
Sorry about the late update, and this is another of my favourite chapters to write! I hope you'll enjoy it, and please leave a review if you did.
And now, the much anticipated Noya's chapter. I hope I can live up to your expectations!
CHAPTER 11: YUU NISHINOYA
"Ah…"
He could hear his heart beating, but it didn't feel like it was coming from his body.
He could hear it in his ears, but he couldn't feel anything. He couldn't feel himself moving at all. If he was, he wasn't aware of it. His world was collapsing around him and he didn't want to be a part of it. He wanted it to be a dream. It seemed his mind had acknowledged this, and forced his consciousness outside his being.
"Ahh…" Was that him? Was he making that broken noise? It was impossible to tell.
The lead up to that moment, where the unforeseeable had occurred, seemed to have happened in a different world. Some stubborn part of his heart insisted it must have been, because this didn't happen, it just didn't. This was Karasuno. This was Karasuno, and that was Asahi.
Raving gunmen didn't come tearing into the school gymnasium, pointing guns and trapping them overnight.
Asahi didn't go storming up to raving gunmen, and he sure as hell didn't get shot.
So that couldn't be Asahi slumped there, couldn't be. It couldn't be him, with his hand stretched towards Suga as a sickening red shadow spread across the concrete of the steps outside the gym.
And that couldn't be Komatsu, standing at the bottom of the steps with his arms outstretched to block Taro's aim from the outside of the gym. That couldn't be that damn Komatsu, collapsing at the foot of the steps with a bullet in his chest.
"Ahh…!"
That couldn't be him, hitting the ground like a doll after taking a bullet aimed at Nishinoya.
He could hear his heart, pounding in his ears. It didn't feel like it was coming from inside his body.
"ASAHIII!"
( )
"You bastards!" Roughly a couple of hours ago, Nishinoya had been shouting and screaming and thrashing as Kuroo had forcibly removed him from the gymnasium. He still didn't know exactly why, or how that had seemed like a good idea. But it didn't really matter.
What he did know was that the intensity of the feeling that had driven him to the extent that he would willingly have punched Kuroo in the stomach and sprinted for the gym meant that it was not the course of action Noya had wanted.
Back then, back before the fatal bullets had been loosed.
"Let me go, you creepy son of a—"
"Quiet down." Kuroo's voice had been harsh, the angriest tone Nishinoya had heard him take – with exception of the time Komatsu had singled out Kenma.
"Don't tell me what to do! I—"
"I'm no happier about this than you, but it's out of our hands now!" the captain snapped. They were a few feet behind the rest of the group, being that Kuroo had to contend with his captive's wild lashing.
Nishinoya heard a loud cry from somewhere up ahead. He turned his head away from Kuroo's shoulder as the captain picked his way down the steps hurriedly. His struggling lessened a little as he wilted under the sheer craziness of what was happening around the gym.
People, people, cars and flashing lights. Cameras, red and blue. Voices, radios and a thrum of activity.
They'd crossed to the other side. The gym was stifling and terrified, but it was silent and relatively slow. This… This was pandemonium.
The wail had come from the right side of the small courtyard, where a cluster of people milled about surrounded by police and media crews. It was a little girl, whose spiky orange hair made it painfully obvious she was Hinata's sister. She was standing next to a woman who was looking on in complete shock, tears dripping down her cheeks.
Nishinoya watched as the small spiker broke ranks with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi to sprint to the barricade. He sailed right over it without even grazing the high bar and latched onto the woman, who staggered with the impact. Noya felt his heart twist as the guy behind them – must be his old man – joined the embrace without faltering. Hinata's sister clung to his leg.
"Tadashi!" Another woman's voice rang out over the noise, sounding frantic and relieved.
Yamaguchi halted, then stumbled another step forward. Then there was more wailing and sprinting and the pinch server vanished into the small crowd of families as if he had been swallowed up. Reintegrated. Liberated.
They'd truly crossed the threshold now, but that feeling of freedom wasn't there. Half – no, nearly all – of Noya's heart lay with the team still stuck inside the gymnasium. He couldn't imagine how it would feel to be one of the parents who couldn't see their son emerging from the building.
It didn't help that he knew his parents wouldn't be waiting outside. He hadn't mentioned it to his friends for fear of sounding like he was whining, but his mother and father had gone on a trip a few days ago and weren't due back until Wednesday. Even if he'd got out of the gym like he found himself doing now, he'd be walking back to an empty house.
He was outside, but he still felt trapped.
"I was wrong," mumbled Kuroo as he dragged Noya towards the barricade Tsukishima was clambering over. Nishinoya didn't reply to the captain, but he kept going with his quiet musing.
"Before, I had thought that leaving the gym felt like stepping away from a building you were chained to, and that you'd just get dragged back inside since you were bolted to the place," he said softly. "But I was wrong. We aren't chained to the building."
Noya kicked him again for good measure, growling, "Of course not! We—"
"We're chained to our teammates."
Noya's voice cracked and broke off halfway through what he'd been saying as Kuroo hefted him over the fence and dumped him next to a police officer with a grunt of effort.
"Better put some cuffs on this one," the captain said dully. He looked so tired. "He'll make a break for that gym if you don't watch out."
"Duly noted…?" The officer glanced sideways as someone's shouting broke over the crowd.
"Tetsuro! Tetsuro!"
"Dad…" Kuroo's attention flickered briefly, but then he returned to Nishinoya and spoke.
"I'm not your captain, so I'm not going to lecture you as if I were," he said quickly. "I don't know how you operate here, but I know that any sensible team doesn't condone disobeying one's captain and endangering teammates. That isn't how we do things in Nekoma, and I doubt it's how Sawamura has led you."
That said, he stepped over the barricade with little difficulty and started moving towards where his dad's voice was coming from. He'd seemed unbelievably composed the whole time, but as his parents approached the cracks showed in how he tipped his head and his how he'd taken on a limping gait.
You did that, muttered a little voice in the back of Nishinoya's head. You're the one who kicked him like that, all because you just can't control yourself.
The camera crews were pressing at the freed students, of whom all but one was being embraced or interrogated or stroked or otherwise comforted by their parents. Hinata was still clinging to his mother, likewise with Yamaguchi and his parents. Tsukishima was trying ever so slightly to hide his lanky body behind his as they questioned him and shook with relief, shying away from flashing cameras. Kuroo stood awkwardly to the side, being hugged by a mother almost half his height whilst his father spoke and ruffled his hair.
Despite the persistence and noise of the media and crowd on the left, the police were holding them back well. That was their job, Noya supposed.
"Excuse me, son?" The officer whom Kuroo had dropped him next to was talking to the libero, and he dragged his eyes away from the freshly reunited families. He stared at him, not knowing what to say and really not giving a damn.
"Can I have your name?"
"Nishinoya," he answered numbly. "Yuu Nishinoya… Second year."
"Good. Well, Yuu, I'll bet you're glad to be out of there." The officer began scratching away at a notebook.
Not really! Get my team out and then we'll be talking!
"Now, you're the one whose parents are in China, aren't you?" The officer tucked his notebook away again. "Don't worry, we've notified them. They're coming as fast as they can, but it's hard to book a flight on such short notice. I'm sorry they couldn't be here."
"Hm." Noya wasn't bothered all that much. It was a twinge in his chest now, compared to how torn up Kuroo's words had left him.
"I'm sorry for pressing you after you've been through such a tough situation," the officer said, glancing around to check if his colleagues were still keeping the cameras and microphones at bay. "But I'll need you to tell me the names of the students who got out."
Nishinoya looked around, taking in the surrounding area.
"Yamaguchi…" He began, clearing his throat. "Tadashi Yamaguchi, Shoyo Hinata, Kei Tsukishima and…Tetsuro Kuroo. And me."
"Thank you," the officer said, in a falsely gentle voice that only served to annoy Nishinoya. "Do you want anything, Yuu? Food? Water? I can have the medics get it for you."
Nishinoya shook his head. This man was trying too hard to be nice and it was just irritating. "I just…just get my friends out."
"Don't worry about it," the officer replied. "We're doing the best we can."
He placed a hand on Nishinoya's shoulder and the libero fought the urge to flick it off. 'We're doing our best', 'we're doing our best'; you keep saying that, but what the hell have you actually done?!
"Thanks," he grated out, teeth clenched.
"Now, I'm going to have to have you and your friends escorted to where the medics are. We've set them up in one of the classrooms behind the vans over there." The officer gestured, and as he spoke, the other four students were being guided away from their families. They seemed okay with it for the most part, but there seemed to be some trouble involved in separating Hinata from his parents and sister.
"Alright," Noya replied sullenly, knowing there really wasn't much else he could do. And if Kuroo decided he was bringing him, there was no firm proof the libero wouldn't find himself once again physically restrained and carried to the classroom by the captain.
A female paramedic stepped out of the crowd surrounding them, pushing her way through the tussling police and news crew. She said something in what sounded like a soothing tone, but Noya was more focused on Hinata's reaction to being told he had to leave his family almost as quickly as he'd met up with them.
"…listening? I said you should take this, honey."
Noya turned his attention back on the paramedic, who was holding out a thick green blanket, neatly folded in her hand.
"What?" He looked at her blankly.
"Take it. Use it to cover your head if you don't want the cameras snapping at you. You've been through a lot now, but it's going to be okay. Just follow me, we'll get you and your friends sorted out and good as new." She gestured for him to follow, stepping towards where a couple of police were ordering the press backwards to let the students through to the classroom.
Nishinoya took the blanket but didn't unfold it immediately. "It's really not."
"Sorry, honey?"
"I said it's not okay," the second year repeated, clenching his hand around the material of the blanket. "It isn't okay. It isn't, even if I'm out here. You can do whatever you want. Treat me, wrap me up in bandages, send me to a psychiatrist or anything else, but until all of them are standing out here with me, you haven't fixed a damn thing!"
The officer and paramedic shared a quick glance, one Noya had seen a hundred times before. How do we handle this one? they were asking. Is this the kid they told us to watch out for?
"Until everyone is out of that gym, you haven't solved this. It won't be 'okay'. So don't try telling me that this is over," he continued. "They all need to get out of there. And let me tell you, if there's even one of them doesn't come out, I'll live the rest of my stupid life in a world that will never be 'okay' again!"
Despite his little outburst, the paramedic seemed unfazed. Noya assumed she'd dealt with things like this countless times before.
"I understand," she said gently, her face falling into a sad smile. It was sympathetic, but not in the fake way the officer's had been. "I have friends too. I can't imagine what it would feel like if I knew they were in this much danger, so I have no idea what you're feeling. But I know that there's no way your friends would want you to just stand around yelling about it. Come on, let me at least get you some fresh water. They're waiting for you. Your friends who got out."
"I don't want water," mumbled Nishinoya, relenting as the paramedic eased the blanket out of his hand and unfolded it for him. She slipped it over his head, cutting off the top of his view and flattening his hair. She guided him forwards, telling the curious reporters that the police would be giving statements soon and that the kids were in no shape to speak yet.
Noya found himself gripping the blanket tighter as they walked. It felt soft and alien, like it didn't fit into the unsympathetic cold and fearfulness of everything he'd just been through. Another bout of irritated helplessness surged in his chest, quickly washing away into the empty sadness from before.
"I don't want water," he repeated to himself, and his voice sounded suspiciously wavering. "I want Asahi."
"Sorry, I didn't quite catch you," said the medic absently as she pushed open the door to the classroom they had turned into a temporary hospital ward. The other ex-hostages were already waiting inside, with a couple of paramedics flitting in between them with plastic bottles.
"It was nothing," whispered Nishinoya, following her in.
Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were together as usual, the pinch server refusing to budge from his friend's side. Hinata was by himself, which was odd, and Kuroo just stood in the middle of the room and looked at everyone. He made a little 'hmm' noise and sat down at a desk obviously built for someone a lot smaller than he was.
This was one of the old classrooms they used as a storage space of sorts, Noya realised. They had old desks from when Karasuno had run a class for younger children, as well as broken blackboards and PCs that looked so ancient it was surprising anyone had bothered to hold on to them.
"None of you have any known injuries, do you?" Noya's medic asked the group, who responded with a series of weary head shakes. "Oh, and my name is Kanako, by the way. I'll be helping to treat you today. These are my partners, Hitachi and Ichirou."
The two other medics, both men, nodded their greetings and set to work. Hitachi went to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi whilst Ichirou asked Kuroo to pull his chair closer to Hinata so he could see to them both at once.
Nishinoya watched Hinata sniffling and wished he could cheer him up somehow, but he didn't even have the energy to flash a pretend smile. He just felt drained and shaken and he wanted the rest of the team to be here too.
"And that leaves me to look at you," Kanako said, directing the teen to a nearby stool. He dropped onto it and pulled the blanket off his head, sending his hair into disarray.
"You're Nishinoya, correct?" she asked, looking at the pages in her hand. "I have your school records here, from your physical exams, medical forms, counselling and whatnot."
Noya nodded, focusing on burning the pattern of the ugly carpet into his eyes like it was all that mattered. Having all his records meant the woman knew what kind of person he was, and what he was capable of doing. A little part of him relished in this, thinking, That's right. Be careful what you say, or I might just do something completely insane.
But Kanako didn't seem to care about whatever warnings his papers might have held. She treated him the same as anyone, without tiptoeing around like Noya was some kind of bomb.
"Okay, so you say you haven't been hurt at all?" she asked, setting the papers to the side and pulling out a first aid kit from under a nearby desk. "None of you have?"
Nishinoya shook his head again. "Why do you need our counselling records?" he asked bluntly.
Kanako looked up at him and answered without faltering. "It's so we can judge how you might be feeling after what's happened. For instance, if someone on your team is more likely to panic than the others, then we'll keep an eye on that person to help them if they feel scared. Your report claims that you're disruptive in class and show little restraint when you're worked up. So we know not to mess around with you!"
She smiled warmly and Nishinoya couldn't help but be won over by her honesty. It was vaguely insulting that they had decided he needed to be watched, but if she'd given him some sketchy answer, he probably would have been more annoyed.
"Okay," he replied. "That… That would make sense."
"Mm-hm." Kanako retrieved a few bits and pieces from around the small room and set them on the bench next to where they sat. "I'm going to have to take your pulse and run through some other little tests, but it shouldn't take long. Give me your hand?"
Noya tugged off his elbow pad and raised his arm. Kanako tutted disapprovingly. "I thought you said you hadn't been injured. What's with all these bruises, mister?"
"They're nothing," he muttered. "We play volleyball, so I have to jump around a lot and I bang into the floor when we play."
"Oh, I see. You do some enthusiastic receives, then?"
Nishinoya blinked at her and she smiled again.
"Don't look so surprised," she said. "I used to play in high school."
"Oh." The second year found his interest had piqued a little. "What…position did you play?"
"I played the one I thought was coolest," she said, deftly unboxing some utensil or the other. She grinned. "The libero."
Yes. She couldn't be nearly as bad as he'd thought at first.
"I-I'm a libero too," Noya stammered, watching as she slipped a thick band up his arm to take his blood pressure.
"Of course," she replied. "That would explain the bruises. Now, this is going to squish your arm a little bit, but you just need to sit there and wait 'til it finishes."
Nishinoya nodded, looking down at his feet. His thoughts looped back around to the students in the gym. Dammit, why did waiting have to be so painful?
"So what's the part you like best?" Kanako asked, watching a little monitor on the desk beside them. "Of being libero, I mean."
"Um, probably when there's a ball it looks like nobody's ever gonna get, but then I can jump in and save it," he answered as the band around his arm inflated slowly. "And it makes everyone go 'whoa!'. And I love seeing when the ball I saved goes back into the air and we can get it to the ace."
"Do you have a strong ace?" Kanako asked, unstrapping the monitor when it had done. "Ah, good. Nice and normal."
Noya faltered. "He's a strong ace, but also a scaredy cat. He… He's still inside the gym."
Kanako seemed to have sensed his change in attitude and looked to be trying to distract him from his worry. He appreciated it, even if it only eased it a little bit. "Tell me about your team, then. What are they like?"
"Well, most people would probably say it's a weird team," he began. "For starters, one of our middle blockers is only just taller than me. Everyone thinks it's daft to put him in a position for tall players, so they don't see it coming when he unleashes this awesome quick on them. He's over there."
Nishinoya pointed towards Hinata, who was going through some kind of coordination test with Ichirou.
"Though, he can only do that quick with one of our setters, Kageyama," the libero continued. "He's a really skilled first year who can do these amazing tosses, but he's also good at just about everything else. It's kind of annoying since he's so grumpy all the time, but he's great deep down. And our other setter, Suga, is really cool too. He always knows just what to say when we're feeling down."
Noya felt a stab of grief as Suga's image came to mind. "It's his dad that's in there. We really don't want him to go…"
"Keep going," prompted Kanako as she prepared another item. "I want to hear more about this weird team of yours."
'Well, all of our spikers are really cool too," said Noya, and he went on to explain about how Tanaka made the best noises when he hit the volleyball, and how awesome Daichi's receives were, and how even though Asahi was a big baby, he still had the strength to smash the ball into next week. "All three of them are still in the gym, and I just want them all back out as fast as possible."
"It can't be much longer now," Kanako assured him. "Just have faith."
They continued like that throughout the examination, talking about how Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were nearly always together, and how all the first years weren't like a team at all unless it really counted, and how the tall guy with the comb head was from a different team and that his setter was a genius. Then how Daichi and Suga were always looking after the team, and how the school used to be really strong, and how Ennoshita, Kinoshita and Narita were always fighting to match up with the others.
It made Nishinoya's heart ache thinking about the situation and how badly he wanted his teammates to be safe, but talking about them and how great the Karasuno Volleyball Club was distracted him from that anguish for a while.
The paramedics had fetched food for them from the school canteen as well, though none of them felt much like eating. Despite being starving, the teens couldn't help but feel guilty that they had such a luxury when their friends remained trapped and hungry within the gymnasium.
Hinata in particular declined stubbornly, which was utterly bizarre for him.
"You should eat," reprimanded Nishinoya, though his heart wasn't really in the words. "You need to keep your strength up if you want to be strong enough to spike."
"I don't want to spike if Kageyama isn't there to toss to me," he said, head hanging. "I want him to do quicks with me again."
"Then you need to eat up so you can play with him when he gets out," reasoned Kuroo, fiddling with his shoelaces as he chewed on the corner of a sandwich.
"That's some confidence," remarked Tsukishima snarkily, drawing a startled look from the paramedics. "I didn't take you for the idealistic type."
"Maybe we need a little of that," mumbled Yamaguchi meekly. "Idealism, that is."
"Hmph." Tsukishima poked at his food for a bit before taking a tentative bite. "Whatever."
"Eat up, short stuff," ordered Kuroo again, jabbing his finger at Hinata's untouched sandwich.
"I don't want to," mumbed Hinata. "I feel sick."
"You probably feel sick because you haven't eaten since yesterday," Noya pointed out.
"Yes," agreed Kanako. "It'll be much better for your body to get a little nutrition. You can even just suck a juice box if you like."
The little blocker sat there for a moment then picked up the carton of juice beside his sandwich and poked the straw into it.
There was a crackling voice from somewhere and Ichirou pulled a walkie-talkie off his waistband. "We're needed out front," he said to Kanako. "They want a statement on the condition of the kids."
"Darn it." Kanako stood, walking towards the door. "We'll have to go for a moment, so you kids behave yourselves until we get back. If you need anything at all, just come and get me. I'll drop out of any interview halfway."
"Can I see my parents again?" asked Yamaguchi cautiously. "Can I go home now?"
"We've got to keep you under surveillance for a little bit, unfortunately," Hitachi explained. "But you'll be able to leave before you know it."
After that, all three of them vanished through the classroom door and left the team in a tired and wary silence.
"I can't believe you're so eager to go home," grumbled Nishinoya at Yamaguchi, who squirmed and tried to disguise himself as Tsukishima's arm. "Don't you care about the others at all?"
"I-I do!" Yamaguchi replied in a squeak. "Of course I do! But…I also care about me, and how tired I am, and all of you guys as well… I'm sorry if it sounds wimpy, but I really want to go to my bed and sleep for ages."
"He is right," muttered Kuroo after swallowing some more sandwich. "As much I want to get Kenma out, I'm pretty much exhausted too."
"You've all gotta be joking," said Noya disbelievingly, and he sighed when he was met with stares that were all too earnest. "Well, I know I'm not resting until everyone else is safe."
"Though there isn't much you can do, is there?" remarked Tsukishima, prompting Nishinoya to his feet. "You're pretty much useless to them now. We all are."
"What did you say?!" barked Noya, on the verge of marching over and giving the blocker a good talking to. Or yelling at. Either way, he was pissed.
"Cool it, you two," cautioned Kuroo with a warning in his tone. "The guys inside the gym didn't sacrifice their freedom so you could tear each other limb from limb once you'd escaped."
The room fell silent for a bit, save for a quiet slurping noise from Hinata's juice.
"Grah!" The four others jumped as Nishinoya kicked his stool into a small desk, breathing heavily. "I hate this! I hate it so much!"
"N-Noya, calm down!" stammered Yamaguchi shakily, still latched onto Tsukishima. It was starting to look like he'd need surgical detachment.
"Doesn't it piss you off?" ranted Nishinoya, balling his fists at his side. "Being stuck here? Out of the loop? Being so useless?"
"At least we aren't at gunpoint anymore," Kuroo put in sternly.
"I'd rather be at gunpoint for a week than have to sit here waiting and not knowing what's going to happen!"
"Trust me," grated Kuroo with a sour laugh. "You really wouldn't."
"So you faced a gun. Big deal." Noya turned his frustration on Kuroo. "News flash – you aren't the only one! I did too!"
Kuroo was on his feet now, emanating an anger so intense everyone but Nishinoya was shrinking back.
"Correction," he uttered, stepping closer. "You had it pointed at you whilst you danced across the gym. I don't think you realise how different that feels to having metal pressed to your forehead, knowing that all it would take to blow your brains out is one man flexing a finger."
As he spoke, Kuroo raised his own finger and pointed towards the gym. "If you really think you know what that felt like, go on back in there and put yourself on the line. Let him twist your arm like that. Put your life in the hands of people who aren't even your teammates."
Tsukishima was pretending to ignore the pair, whilst Yamaguchi watched on fretfully. Hinata was sucking on his juice carton so hard it looked ready to implode.
"There was no way I could have known if those two would really come back to the gym," Kuroo carried on. "You were in control of your own actions. You got to choose if you lived or died. I had to stand there in the threat of death and put my faith in the morals of people I barely knew."
Nishinoya hadn't stepped down, but what Kuroo was saying was slowly breaking his resolve.
"So don't you dare think you have the right to tell me that was no big deal," growled Kuroo. "Then sit down, shut up, and appreciate what your teammates have done for you! And don't you say you didn't want this! You're belittling the courage they had to show just so you could get your sorry ass out of that gym! They could well have picked anyone else, but they picked you. So shut up and be grateful for it!"
Then Kuroo dropped back down, rubbing his forehead. He was well beyond his limit, that much was clear. The pent-up frustration in his words still hung in the air as Nishinoya watched him in silence.
"I…I'm angry too," came a small voice from the back of the room.
Noya looked to see Hinata, having set aside his empty juice carton and stood up.
"I'm angry that it had to be like this for everyone," he said. "I'm angry that Suga has to go through all this because his dad is stupid. I'm angry that Mr Takeda got hurt trying to save us. I'm angry about how sad Asahi looked when his mum was talking. I'm angry about how Daichi has to worry about everyone, and how mad you are, Noya, about having to leave them behind."
All eyes were on Hinata now, and the first year didn't seem to mind. "I'm angry about myself too, because I couldn't be strong like Kageyama. I was…completely useless…"
"You weren't useless," mumbled Kuroo, not lifting his head from his hands. "I saw how angry you were when Kenma almost got hit. And even though you were scared, you still didn't give up on your teammates. And…I'm sorry about what I said before. My experience isn't any more special or important than any of yours."
A pause gripped the room for a moment.
"I'm angry for you too, Kuroo," said Hinata quietly, some of his usual conviction shining through. "Since Kenma is still trapped inside. It's hard for me to accept what Kageyama said even when I wanted to leave, so I know it must be worse for you knowing that Kenma gave himself up for you to get out."
"I wish I'd fought harder to stay," admitted Kuroo wistfully. "Kenma would have been safe right now if it weren't for me."
"It's no use thinking like that now," said Tsukishima in a monotone. "What's done is done. All we can do is wait and hope they make it out."
He was met with a few empty gazes.
"Don't look at me like that." He turned his face away. "I'm worried too, you know. They might be morons, but they're still people and none of them deserve to die."
Silence took the reins once again and it was driving Nishinoya up the wall.
"I'm going to get some fresh air," he stated in a hollow tone.
"Noya, you can't lea—"
"I said I'm going!" he shouted, and Yamaguchi didn't speak up again.
Nobody stopped him as he exited, slamming the door behind himself.
The classroom opened to an outdoor corridor facing away from the gym, so none of the crowds saw him leaving. He stormed off around a corner, away from the scene. He just needed to get away from it all. He needed it to stop, to go away, for it to never have happened. He wished he could just sleep, wake up in his bed and go to school like it had never happened.
He wished it was all some crazy dream so badly he could hardly stand it anymore.
It hurt so much. He just wanted everyone to be safe. He wanted them to be outside with him. He wanted to hold everyone's hands, slap their backs, ruffle their hair and tell them how cool they were. More than anything, he just wanted his friends.
He was running now, blindly through the empty school grounds to wherever his feet were taking him. His breathing was starting to become ragged, and the pain in his chest was worsening with every little reminder of the team that worked its way into his head.
Why does it have to hurt so badly? he thought. Why did this have to happen?
He stumbled over his heavy feet and fell to the ground, catching his shin on the step he'd tripped on. His volleyball gear protected his knees for the most part, but a trickle of blood leaked out of a small gash on his shin.
He barely cared enough to stand up again, but rose nonetheless and dragged himself to a bench in the middle of the yard and dropped down there. The back of the school was ghostly empty, scarcely any traffic passing by.
Everything was getting to him now. How selfish he'd been, even in the face of Kuroo's anguish and Daichi's desperate desire to defend the team. Why was he being so preposterously reckless? He knew he wasn't known for being particularly compliant or level-headed, but looking back on it, the things he'd done were way out of line.
Which stupid part of him thought getting so violent was a good idea?
He stood up again, pacing around the bench a couple of times before bending over and slamming his fist down on it as hard as he could. He thumped furiously at the hard wood until his hand began to ache.
"I'm was so useless," he said hoarsely, sliding onto his knees and realising just how alone he was all the way out here. "I'm sorry…" I couldn't protect any of you…
Why had he run away from the old classroom? The others were all back there. Now he was just stuck out here by himself, when all he really wanted was to be surrounded by the teammates he cherished.
"Hey Yuu, whatcha doing all the way out here?" a familiar voice asked, startling him off the ground and onto the bench again. His suspicions of who it was were confirmed when Saeko Tanaka plonked herself down next to him.
"Hi, Saeko," he said glumly, swinging his feet. His voice was still rough.
"Aw, come on Yuu, don't pout." She ruffled his hair affectionately but he just brushed her off. "You're out now, so what's wrong?"
"Everything's wrong!" he burst out. "Takeda got knocked out! And Ennoshita nearly got shot! And you know Ryuu is still in the gym, right, and you're just—just acting normal! How can you sit here like nothing's wrong?!"
Saeko was silent for a while. Nishinoya was almost worried he'd upset her. Occasionally a car drove by, shattering the unnerving silence. Still Saeko didn't speak. Nishinoya was about to ask her something when she slung an arm around his neck and pulled him close.
"You don't understand, Yuu," she said brightly. "I have to stay strong for Ryuu's sake. What kind of big sister would I be if I broke down and he stayed strong?" She paused for a moment. "He's staying strong, right?"
"The strongest of us all," Nishinoya promised. It wasn't really a lie. His best buddy was really brave, especially when…when they'd been choosing who had to leave the gym.
"I really messed up, didn't I?" Nishinoya muttered angrily to himself. "Daichi's gonna kill me."
"That's the spirit." Saeko laughed, though Nishinoya didn't really understand what she was trying to say.
"I wish this was all over already," he said to himself. Saeko leaned back on the bench.
"I hope Ryuu doesn't do anything stupid." She sighed.
"I'm sure he won't," Nishinoya tried to reassure her. Not like me.
"You call yourself my brother's best friend?" Saeko laughed. "You two are so alike. Of course he'll do something stupid. I…I just hope he waits until he's safe to do it."
"Sis…"
"Well, kiddo." Saeko jumped to her feet. "Let's get back. Your other teammates are worried and so is that creepy black haired dude. Go back and prove to them that you've got their backs for anything."
Noya rose, took a couple of steps and then stopped.
"Do I really?" he asked, looking at the ground. "I'm all the way out here, running away from everyone and pitying myself like a loser. Do I really have their backs?"
Saeko looked back at him, a hand on her hip. She flashed another hopeful smile and replied, "You're here chewing yourself out over whether what you did was right for the team and you're asking if you have their backs?"
"You don't understand! What I did was—"
"You did what you thought was best, right? You fought for what you thought would help, didn't you?" Saeko turned around again, motioning for him to follow. "If you tried your best, I don't know why you're kicking yourself about it. Come on."
So he followed after her, the path back to the classroom being a lot longer than it had seemed when Nishinoya had sprinted down it.
"Why did you come looking for me, anyway?" he asked sullenly.
"They let me talk to your teammates for a bit," Saeko explained. "I asked where you were, and they said they thought you were just in the corridor outside, which you weren't. So I went to find you, and here we are. The situation was dire when I left. The little ginger, he was…"
"Shoyo," breathed Nishinoya. "Sorry, sis, I'm gonna go on ahead. You should wait with everyone else for Ryuu to come back, and when I tell the others not to worry, I'll come see you again."
"Wait! Yuu!"
But the libero had already bolted, taking off through the school grounds like a hare.
How could I forget?! he chided himself. Shoyo's been freaking out about sticking together all day, and then I go pulling a stunt like this… I just can't stop messing stuff up, can I?
As he ran, he felt the beginnings of stinging tears in his eyes, but he dug his nails into his palms until the feeling subsided. Eventually, he reached the storage classroom again and stopped by the door, ignoring the temptation to continue past it to check the situation in front of the gym.
He grabbed the handle and twisted, hoping things weren't too bad. At this point, if anyone had started bawling again, he probably wouldn't be able to hold back from joining in. It took a sudden surge of courage to twist the handle and shove the door open.
"Everyone?" he called in cautiously. "I'm coming in…"
He was met with an unexpected sight.
Kuroo was drowsing in the corner, his unfocused eyes flicking to the door when Noya walked in. He looked dead-tired, propped up against the wall and blinking every few seconds. Tsukishima was sitting next to him, eyes closed with a pair of headphones jammed over his ears. He looked up when Nishinoya walked in.
Yamaguchi and Hinata were sitting together, the freckled first year looking teary-eyed and miserable. His teammate had been talking to him, but stopped when the door had opened. He must have misinterpreted Saeko's words; it hadn't been Hinata freaking out, it was Yamaguchi.
"Noya!" cried Hinata, jumping to his feet and trotting over. "Where did you go? We were worried you tried to get into the gym again. Yamaguchi got upset about it, and then Kuroo started shouting again. But he's alright now, so it's alright. We're alright. You're alright, right?"
It was still a long way from 'alright' in Noya's books, but he smiled and nodded wearily for Hinata's sake.
"You didn't tell us your parents were in China," added Hinata, sounding concerned.
"I didn't want to bother anyone," he answered. "We had enough on our plates already, right?"
"But...you're all alone…" Hinata trailed off. "I got to see my sister, and Tsukishima's family brought him his headphones, but you…"
"I got to see Saeko," Noya pointed out.
"Yeah, but…" The first year shuffled his feet, looking around at the onlooking Yamaguchi, Tsukishima (who was appearing to take an immense amount of pleasure in ignoring them) and glassy-eyed Kuroo.
Nishinoya shrugged uneasily and looked down.
"Maybe you wouldn't look so sad if your parents could hug you too."
He met Hinata's sincere brown eyes, opening his mouth and trying to think of what to say. "Shoyo, I don't—"
The boy just cut him off by dragging him over to where Yamaguchi was sitting and forcing him down. "We aren't your parents, but we can still try to make you feel happy until they come."
Noya tilted his head towards Yamaguchi. "I-I'm sorry about shouting before, I just—"
"Your leg is bleeding, Noya," mumbled the pinch server, ignoring the apology. "The paramedics left a kit here, maybe there are some bandages."
"It'll be fine." The libero grabbed his friend's hand as he reached for the kit, but it was shaken off. "I'm—"
"Let me at least do this much," pleaded Yamaguchi. "Since I was such a nuisance inside the gym."
"I was a nuisance," Noya corrected him, but found nobody acknowledged his remark. Hinata was pressed to his side, holding his arm, and Yamaguchi was gently dabbing at the second year's small gash with a disinfectant wipe.
If anyone (by which Noya was including himself) thought Tsukishima hadn't been listening, they would have been taken by surprise (which he was) when the blocker spoke up.
"I think everyone had the right to be a nuisance then," he said tediously. "But this idiot over here is taking it too far."
Nishinoya couldn't stifle the weak grin that forced itself onto his lips as he saw what had happened.
Kuroo had dropped off, sliding sideways down the wall until his head rested on Tsukishima's shoulder. The pair weren't sitting close together, but Kuroo's height made it all too easy for him to close the gap.
"Pathetic," the bespectacled blocker grumbled as Kuroo muttered in his sleep. "Someone get him off me."
"Just let him sleep," put in Yamaguchi. "He was getting cranky before and it was scary."
"But does he need to sleep on me?"
"If you're game to move him, go ahead," answered Noya with a flash of his old charisma. "But I can't imagine him being very happy if you wake him up."
"Oh, for crying out loud," grumbled Tsukishima, rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand. "What a pain."
The libero couldn't help but grin. He talked to Yamaguchi for a bit whilst the first year wrapped a little bandage around his leg. He did it so lightly and carefully, like he was scared to mess up and hurt him.
Noya's smile faded as he thought about Kuroo, collapsed in the corner like one of those freakish dolls in B-list horror films. Despite how humorous the situation was, he couldn't help but recall the fact that Kuroo also had a best friend trapped within the gym. The tall captain must have been completely wiped out if he'd fallen asleep now, and the smattering of bruises beginning to form on his legs weren't helping Nishinoya's guilt at all.
He sat there for a while longer, Hinata holding tight to one side of his body and Yamaguchi humming to himself on the other. The freckled teen yawned, then shook his head vigorously. "No! I can't go to sleep now! I have to wait until everyone gets out."
Nishinoya smiled as his teammate continued, twiddling his fingers agitatedly. "Oh, but I'm really sleepy…but I can't miss what's going on…but it's so comfy here…but it'd be so rude to everyone inside… I have to stay up! Come on, I stayed awake until twelve thirty in the morning one time, I can do this."
Noya felt the two first years stiffen as he rose and told them, "I said to Saeko that I'd come and see her in a bit. So I'll just be going out for a minute, and then I'll be right back. Okay?"
"Okay." Yamaguchi nodded, twisting his lips nervously.
"Be careful, Noya," cautioned Hinata.
"Naturally," replied the libero, walking to the door. "I'll be back before you know it."
He never did return to the storeroom that day.
Once outside, he made his way around the side of the school building to where the gym was.
From the looks of things, the situation hadn't progressed much. However, now that he was thinking clearly he was beginning to notice details he'd previously made no note of.
The first was the tents pitched up in certain spots around the outside of the barricade. They were probably what the police, parents and possibly some random bystanders had used through the night. There weren't that many, so it was possible more people had slept inside the school buildings.
And the day before, Asahi had mentioned a large crowd off to the left of the gym, on the oval, which had all but up and left. Noya figured a lot of them had decided against staying overnight and had gone home to wait out the ongoing catastrophe.
As he scanned the crowd for Saeko's shape, his eyes caught two other people whom he'd willingly battle his way through the throng of media to get to. Whilst a small, childlike part of him wished it had been his parents, he was almost as happy with who he'd stumbled across instead. Throwing his hands over his head in case the cameramen recognised him as one of the ex-hostages, he jogged over to the pair.
"Coach Ukai!" he called out, attracting the man's attention. The coach looked shocked, tapped the shoulder of the man he spoke with and pointed.
"Mr Takeda!" cried out Nishinoya as he came to a stop before the teacher. "You're okay! Wait, you are okay, right?!"
Takeda nodded, his hair swishing from where it poked out around a bandage wrapped so tight it made his head look like a mushroom. "Yes! I'm under surveillance, but I'll be fine. What about you, Nishinoya? And the others? I heard they let some of the team out, but they aren't letting us near the building…"
"Ridiculous," grumbled Ukai, sounding mad but wearing an anxious expression. "Completely idiotic."
"Shoyo got out, as well as the Nekoma captain, plus Tsukishima and Yamaguchi," explained Noya quickly. "And I got forced out because apparently I'm not suited to the environment…" He gritted his teeth and forced the bitterness from his voice. "Say, it's not like anyone's standing watch outside the recovery room. I can take you to where they are, if you want."
Takeda shook his head reluctantly. "No, we'd best wait here until we're allowed in. We shouldn't ignore what the police tell us."
"I think I already pushed a little too far yesterday," said Ukai with a grunt. "Speaking of, why aren't you back there with the others?"
"I'm taking a nonconformist attitude towards the matter," spurted Nishinoya, trying not to admit he'd just up and left without trying to find the paramedics.
"When did you learn such a long word?" laughed Takeda, though his eyes weren't smiling. "I'm proud of you, Nishinoya."
The words struck a chord in each of their hearts and they stood in silence for a moment.
"You… You shouldn't say that, teach…" mumbled Noya, dropping his false energy. "Be proud of the others. Be proud of Shoyo, since he held on for so long. And be proud of Suga, since he's being so strong with everything that's happening. Be proud of Daichi's captaining, or Ryuu's bravery, or anything else, but don't say that to me… I was useless. I am useless."
He could feel his hands trembling at his sides and he looked away, trying to focus on finding Saeko but only to drag his mind away from what he'd just said.
"Nishinoya," said Takeda softly, his lips curling up in a forlorn smile. "If your teammates really thought you were useless, why would they have chosen to let you get to safety?"
Just as he spoke, the small crowd shifted with a wave of alarm. Nishinoya's eyes snapped to the gym, but couldn't see over the heads of the people in front.
"Stay back! I am armed and I will shoot!"
That was Taro's voice. The door was open!
Noya's stomach dropped as he heard a stifled yelping noise, one that sounded unsettlingly like Suga.
"Out of my way!" barked Noya, barging forwards to the barricade and pushing aside anyone that got in his way. He didn't care about the muttering and scolding; this was his friend, there was no way on earth that some random police officers, interviewers and the odd parent were allowed to see and not him.
His heart was racing, beating in his ears louder than the roar of a full stadium of spectators. Pushing through the crowd, that's all he was now. A spectator. It drove him mad.
Taro was in the doorway when Noya reached the barricade. He had an arm around Suga's neck and a gun to Kenma's head. The third year was red in the face and clawing at his father's tattooed skin, obviously struggling to breathe.
But he wasn't looking out at the crowd. No, he was looking at something inside the gym, and whatever it was, it was terrifying him.
Nishinoya's voice had disappeared. He couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't believe his eyes.
Is this still happening? Why is this still happening? I don't like this. I can't do anything. Why am I so powerless? I hate it, hate it, hate it.
He saw Asahi come racing in from the side, wrenching at Taro's arm in a wild attempt to free Suga. "Let my friends go!" the ace thundered, taking Taro by surprise as he thrust Suga backwards.
"You little brat!"
There was an ear-splitting screech as Taro lashed out a leg, catching Kenma in the side. The setter fell behind him, next to Suga, and Noya gripped the barricade so hard his nails were digging into the wood. Taro's arm twitched and the teen knew he couldn't hold himself back if he wanted to see Asahi alive again.
A sick sensation curled out across his chest and he vaulted the barricade, pulse pounding and legs shaking. He was running, running faster and more desperately than he ever had before.
Oh God, oh please God, don't let this happen, he thought. Let me stop this, let me hit him, jump in the way, anything but this!
No dig had ever invoked a sense of urgency this intense. There was not a single volleyball he'd sprinted this hard to receive. Because if he didn't get there in time now, the game would not continue.
If he didn't make this, they'd lose more than one measly point.
But in every match, no matter how skilled you are or how hard you fight, there are balls you can't save.
Asahi looked so surprised when it happened. Just…surprised. Mouth a little open, eyes wide. He collapsed to the ground, red seeping from under his shirt, and did not move.
Nishinoya staggered to a halt, feeling like all the blood had vanished from his body. Everything was numb and his heart was beating so loud and he couldn't breathe and his mind was empty.
Everything had stopped for this. The world froze like a snapshot of time and drew into itself, everything compressed so tight that Nishinoya's chest felt like a block of ice. There was nothing else happening, only the scene in that gym that he so frantically wanted to be a lie.
Suga screamed then, and that jolted him out of his trance. It hit him like a cannonball, and suddenly the world was spinning.
"ASAHI!" he screeched, his voice tearing across the courtyard like something inhuman. He found his feet again and took off, ignoring the urgent shouts from behind.
Taro took one look in his direction and raised the pistol once more, his face as white as a sheet and his eyes wild like a cornered animal. His arm twitched again as he readied to pull the trigger on the rapidly approaching teen.
Then Komatsu was moving, his face a startling conflict of determination and fear.
Before Nishinoya could do anything, the man was rocketing out of the gym and onto the steps, throwing his arms out as far as they would reach. He was in front of the libero, blocking him from entering. Noya didn't think blocking the door was the gunman's true intention, and he was right.
"Stop!" the man shouted at Taro, but the panicked criminal had reacted too quickly and Noya hadn't even registered what was happening before Komatsu hit the steps as a bullet quickly ended his movements.
He'd jumped in the way to save Nishinoya.
His partner could do nothing but stare, stare in complete shock at what he'd done as Nishinoya screamed for his fallen friend and a small number of police surged forwards.
They surrounded the place, walking Taro to a wall in the gym at gunpoint and grabbing Suga and Kenma and rushing inside to get the others, and then they were with Asahi and then Asahi was on a stretcher and Noya was on his knees and there were people talking to him and he couldn't hear them he just—
He just wanted Asahi.
So he jumped to his feet and tore off towards the paramedics who were carrying his friend away. Hands grabbed at him but he shook them away and ran, ran because he needed Asahi to be okay, because this was all his fault and he was useless.
He didn't realise he was shouting and wailing and calling for Asahi at the time. Arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him backwards, trying to keep him away from the only thing that mattered.
So he fought.
He ripped his body free of those people, kicking at their stomachs and swinging fists anywhere he could. He scratched at bare skin, head-butted exposed necks and rammed his elbow into anything that got close. He slammed full-force into owner of the next hand that grabbed his shoulder, yelling and crying and not even knowing who he was anymore.
They hadn't been aiming to hurt him, but now that the libero was flying at them and lashing out and screaming and biting, there was no way to evade using the occasional hit. Noya felt the blows land, but he didn't feel the pain.
Through a haze of tears and blue uniforms, he saw the stretcher disappear into an ambulance, which shattered the air with a drilling siren and took off around a building.
And then he fell, down onto his knees and thumped his fist into the ground because why?
Why, why, why, couldn't he have saved just this one irreplaceable point?
"Yuu Nishinoya! Cease your resistance and stand down, or you will be arrested!"
Are you still talking?! Leave me alone!
"Not until I see Asahi!" he insisted wrathfully, drawing himself back up to his rather unimpressive full height. His voice was hoarse from shouting now. "I want to see him! Take me to where Asahi is!"
"We can take you to the hospital," said one of the policemen, most of whom had backed away into a cautious circle surrounding the libero. "But the condition of your friend is uncertain, so you won't be able to—"
"Then screw you!" Noya retorted wildly, coughing a little as a sting hit the back of his throat. "I don't care what you say, I want to see Asahi! Let me see him!"
"Nishinoya, please—"
"Shut up! Shut up!" It was useless now. Asahi was long gone. But acknowledging that fact didn't make it hurt any less. "Bring him back! Bring him back here right now!"
"Yuu Nishinoya!"
A new voice speared clean through the rumble of the police, like the singing of a bird over the rustle of forest leaves. Heads turned in the direction of the speaker and Noya recognised the voice immediately.
Kiyoko! The thought of the manager slammed into his head like a brick. He hadn't stopped to think about how stressful it must have been on her, receiving the texts from within the gym and waiting to hear what scant news came back in return. He'd been so busy agonising over the fate of his teammates within the hall that he'd forgotten those outside.
The chief must have sensed his change in attitude, since the motion of his hand sent the surrounding ranks back to let Shimizu through.
No, he thought desperately. I don't want her to be here. I don't want her to see me now. Please, I can't…
"Nishinoya!" The manager stepped into the makeshift clearing in the centre of the group of police, shooting anxious glances at the men.
Too late.
"Kiyoko, I—"
"Don't say anything," Shimizu broke in, stepping closer and placing her hands on his shoulders. "Don't. Just calm down. Let them take you to the hospital."
"But this is all my fau—"
"Don't…" she said softly, and before Noya could react he found himself caught in her embrace. The sheer relief in her tone overwhelmed him, the sudden lack of anger knocking him into a spin. "…say anything. Everyone's waiting for you. Don't make it harder for them than it has to be."
"I…" He found himself wilting away now, his fury simmering away to a horrible, empty realisation. The sensation was so sickeningly hollow that he found his muscles going slack and shaky.
"Don't make it harder for yourself."
Nishinoya squeezed his eyes shut and refused to return the hug.
"I'm sorry, Kiyoko," he whispered huskily. "I've already let them down more than I could ever try to repay."
( )
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Noya was sitting on the floor in a hospital corridor.
He'd been driven in the back of a cold and foreign paramedic's van, alone, kept apart from his teammates because the police were worried about his volatile nature. Now he was with them again but he'd chosen to ignore the few questions they asked him and sit on in silence.
The cut on his leg was stinging but he didn't really feel it. His eyes and throat were itchy, like he'd been swimming in the ocean. His hands were cold, there were bruises on his arms and sides and he'd torn a fingernail, but he really didn't care.
He was hugging his knees like a little kid, pressed to the wall in between two seats. Daichi was sitting on one side, leaning forward with his fingers interlocked. His eyes were glazed, staring at nothing as he was lost in his thoughts.
The other seat was occupied by Suga, sitting back and gazing emptily at the ceiling. His face was pale, eyes red rimmed and hands twitching. A large, discoloured bruise was forming on the setter's neck, a sickening reminder of what his father had done.
They didn't know how long they'd been sitting there like that.
Some of the other students were in the hospital, and some had gone home. Yamaguchi had been taken away before they'd even left school grounds, and they hadn't seen much of Kageyama before his parents had whisked him off.
Hinata had disappeared as well. Nishinoya hadn't seen him, but he'd overheard the others murmuring about how he'd been in hysterics before he'd left. Something about freaking out and crying so hard he'd made himself sick.
They'd been muttering about him too, about how he'd flown off the handle at the police and something about leaving him to himself until the whole thing blew over.
But things like this didn't just blow over.
Asahi had disappeared from view now. They weren't allowed to see him, despite knowing he was only on the other side of the door across the hall. There was no update on his situation. They didn't know if he'd been grazed and was sitting around, or was fighting for his life in surgery. To them, it seemed like Asahi could be dead and they wouldn't even know.
Kenma had dropped by their spot, but he hadn't said anything. He was being treated for the brutal stomp kick Taro had dealt him, moving slowly and wincing each time his injured side was pressured. They'd been assured his ribs were not broken, but the setter looked so fragile that they might just crack if he wasn't careful.
Not long after, Kuroo had made his appearance under the pretext of looking for Kenma. He'd exchanged a few brief words with Daichi, but neither of them were much in the mood for chat. Noya remembered that the Nekoma captain was one of the few amongst them who had managed to catch any sleep at all, but it looked to have worked against him in some way. He looked beyond beat as he sauntered away down the corridor.
Now it had come to Tanaka.
"Da…Daichi?" The second year's head appeared at the end of the corridor, prompting Daichi's attention off the floor for once. He didn't say anything.
Tanaka inched around the corner and up towards them, looking around the area gingerly.
"What is it, Tanaka?" asked Suga, and his voice was so emotionless it made the second year flinch.
"I just…" He swallowed. "Well, it's getting late and you've been waiting out here all this time now, so…I was wondering if you wanted to get washed up. And maybe get Noya's bruises treated…"
"They don't need treated," harshed Nishinoya and Tanaka looked away quickly.
"But they fixed Suga's neck, right?" the spiker prompted warily. "It feels better like that, right?"
Suga shrugged, still staring at the ceiling.
Tanaka pressed his lips into a line and folded his arms frustratedly. "You're all being ridiculous," he muttered, and then slapped his chin like he regretted saying it.
But Daichi finally moved, sitting up straight. "You know, you're right," he said, and his voice was raw from not having spoken in so long. "It isn't like we can do anything, sitting here like this."
Suga moved too, shifting his gaze from the ceiling to his friend. "We can't," he agreed.
"I'm not leaving," growled Noya, shifting back further between the chairs.
"Nishinoya," said Suga softly, standing up and reaching for the little second year. "Come with us. We can't do anything for Asahi out here."
"I couldn't do anything for him back at school either!" exclaimed Noya, smacking the hand away. "Just leave me alone!"
"I want you to come with us," argued Suga. "I…I don't want us to be separated now."
So Noya ended up being coaxed along to the hospital shower block Tanaka had directed them to, Suga towing both him and Daichi along by their hands.
They left Tanaka to mind the corridor and upon casting a backwards glance, Noya could see the pain he'd fought to keep off his face when talking to them make itself obvious in how he slouched there.
I don't know why he's trying so hard, the teen thought bleakly. We all know he's just as bad as the rest of us.
Watching Tanaka try to keep up everyone's hopes with his own false enthusiasm was painful. He talked warmly and patted shoulders, but it didn't really help to see his eyes raw from tears he'd tried to keep hidden.
Don't lie. It doesn't suit you.
Now Noya was just standing in the weak stream of the shower, letting the boiling water sear at his skin without bothering to turn on the cold. There were bruises all up his arms and on his shoulders, the cut on his shin burning as the hot water washed it clean.
As he saw the tinted water run off his foot, he couldn't help but remember the pools of red on the gym steps earlier that day. It seemed like an eternity ago, but fresh in his mind like it was still happening now.
Why the hell did you sacrifice yourself for me? he thought, digging his nails into his palm. He had no doubt Komatsu knew he hated the man, so why the hell had he jumped in the way of the bullet?
And why didn't you save Asahi instead?!
He felt sick, and raced to dry himself off in an attempt to force his mind off the image.
How the hell had a normal day's practise ended up like this?
Daichi's parents had left him spare clothes when finding out the third year had no intention of leaving the hospital. Likewise had Suga's mother, although she'd been rushed off by the police before Suga could get a word in edgewise.
Cruel, Nishinoya couldn't help but think shortly, hating the police for making the third year suffer like that.
Since his parents had only just managed to find a plane, the only thing he had to wear was his scuffed up sports gear and a 'seize the day!' T-shirt which had a tear in the seam from an officer who'd been a little too rough.
Suga refused to let him get away with the dirty clothes, so now he found himself kicking his feet back and forth on a bench outside the showers, wearing a pair of Daichi's shorts that were guaranteed to slip down if he didn't tie the belt a few notches tighter and a T-shirt of Suga's that still hung off his shoulders like an art smock.
He lacked the motivation to go about meticulously spiking his hair, so there was no doubt in his mind that the first nurse to come across him would certainly ask why his mother hadn't taken him to the children's ward.
After a while, he realised Suga and Daichi were taking an awfully long time to get dressed. He stood up and stepped back inside the shower block, where he spotted the pair. Daichi was sitting on a lone bench, his head bowed and having given up on a sock pulled halfway over his foot.
Suga had his forehead buried in the captain's shoulder, shaking with sobs as he pulled his T-shirt down over his midriff.
"Why did this have to happen?" he choked out, tears soaking Daichi's shirt. The captain didn't reply, just bit his lip and stared at the ground. "Why did it have to be Asahi? It should have been me! It's my fault this happened! It's my dad! Why, Daichi?"
"I don't know," whispered Daichi. "I don't know. I don't know."
"It hurts…" Suga moaned sorrowfully, muffled into his friend's shoulder. "It hurts so much…"
Noya whimpered and dashed forwards, thudding into their sides and twisting his hands into their shirts.
"I just want him to be okay!" he found himself wailing, not even caring about appearances anymore. "If I'd been faster, he wouldn't have been shot! I could have saved him, but I wasn't fast enough! I could have saved him!"
So what if he looked like a seven-year-old in these oversized clothes and floppy hair, crying his eyes out and yelling about how he wanted his friend back! Asahi wouldn't care! Asahi was always there! Asahi was so nice and so helpful and so kind and he couldn't just be gone!
"I shouldn't have let him go," mumbled Daichi, trembling next to Nishinoya. He took a shuddering breath. "I could have stopped him, but I didn't. Maybe then things wouldn't have turned out like this."
The three of them stayed like that for a while, none of them knew quite how long.
"I want…to see Asahi…" cried Noya, stricken and frustrated, and Suga wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"Me too," replied Daichi, and for once Nishinoya could tell he was crying. He grasped the sleeve of Noya's shirt and exclaimed, "Dammit, I was so stupid! I sh-should have stopped him!"
"If I had just gone with my dad at the start, none of this would have happened!"
"I should have moved fa-faster!"
Why Asahi? thought Noya helplessly, feeling Daichi shift to wipe his face with his free shoulder. He didn't deserve it! None of us did! Why did this happen? Why?
"A…Asahi…" He was hiccupping now, and found that he couldn't stop. I don't want to have to live without you!
Now the foundations of their world had fallen, and it didn't look like they'd ever be able to rebuild.
That was Nishinoya for you! And also, a message from our friend and sponsor;
'( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°) mmm watcha say'
Til next time! Thank you for reading!