Warning: Some scenes in this chapter might disturb sensitive people. A lot of Lex's past is revealed, including why she hasn't been successful in relationships.
When I received the weekly profit report for the Smallville plant the next morning, I was not happy. It took a moment for the shock to subside as I finally absorbed what was happening and why, but when I did, my temper flared. I knew that my father was behind this. I fought not to tear the papers in my tensed fingers and took a moment to breathe. The effect was somewhat calming after a minute, and the urge to smash that ugly vase in the foyer of the penthouse was gradually fading.
This was another test. Deep inside me, I knew that Lionel would always test me, and I would never live up to his expectations. I needed to be stronger than this. The plummeting numbers spelled disaster for my future as an executive at the top levels of Luthorcorp. Directly after I showered and dressed in casual clothing, I picked up my cell phone and called Gabe Sullivan. He'd been in charge for the last few days, and I needed to know what was going on.
"Gabe Sullivan speaking." By his tone, he knew that he was in trouble. I couldn't keep the tension out of my voice.
"I take it you've seen the profit report this morning?" I plopped down into my father's office chair and tried to remember that Gabe Sullivan was a good man, and he wasn't the one I was angry with.
"Ah. Yes." He was quick to cover up his uncertainty. "But I have ideas on how we can improve our sales."
"How did our sales drop in the first place?" I held the phone to my ear with my shoulder as I opened my father's drawers and rooted through the papers I found. "I know my father had something to do with it."
"Jackson's Best is outselling us. From what I can gather, they received a rather large grant recently and have expanded their business. They've got cheaper prices and claim they've got better soil." My eyes scanned through the important words on my dad's reports as I listened to Gabe's explanation. Damnit, Lionel. He wasn't supposed to get directly involved, but he was obviously desperate if he was playing dirty. I was on the verge of winning; I could feel it in my bones.
I found chemical formulas that fit a new type of soil. I looked over them, and it only took a moment to memorize them. "I found what they're using, Gabe. I'll call you with a better formula than theirs tonight. I just need a little time."
"Alright, Miss Luthor. Work your magic. I'll be waiting for your miracle formula." There was small, haphazard scribbling in the corner that I had to squint to read.
"How many times have I told you, Mr. Sullivan? It's Lex." My father wrote in even more cramped handwriting than mine. Was it some note about the soil?
"How many times have I told you to call me Gabe?" I couldn't help but smile. None of my other employees had the gall to talk to me like that, but that's what made him special.
"Point taken. I'll speak with you later." I flipped the phone shut and used my full effort to decipher my father's note. When I finally realized what it said, I scowled.
Lex - You'll have to work harder than that for the new formula. Anticipate your enemy's moves. - LL
He was really trying my patience. Not only was he stepping outside the rules of the game, but he was gloating about it. It was time to do something big. This new formula had to be revolutionary.
I asked Adele to get me plenty of paper and a few pencils. She brought that as well as a cup of coffee from Starbucks. The caffeine boost helped, and I got to work immediately.
I let my mind loose and started carefully writing out chemical combinations. I quickly ruled out the ones that wouldn't worked, but nothing was quite what I was looking for yet. Before I knew it, I went through four cups of coffee, several sheets of paper, and two pens. It was like I was in a trance, almost fanatical. I had to do this. Biochemistry was something I enjoyed, something I had wanted to make a career out of, but right now, it was frustrating the hell out of me.
I didn't want to resort to this, but I had no choice. I opened my phone and called Dr. Hamilton. He was a scientist that was formerly a part of Lionel's experimental staff at Luthorcorp, but his projects were getting a little too experimental for Luthorcorp. Since Lionel fired him, I hired him as my personal researcher. The man was sneaky and on the edge of shady, but his work was truly earth-shattering. He just needed some money to get it off the ground.
"Hamilton." The African American man had a deep voice that boomed, even over the phone.
"I need you to do something for me. Are you working on anything important?" If it was, I would simply compensate him so that he could work on my problem.
"Nothing that can't be set aside for a few days. What do you need?" If nothing else, the man was certainly ambitious.
"Buy a bag of Jackson's Best fertilizer and find out what it's made of. When you've got the chemical components, call me." It was sneaky and subversive, but so was Lionel's little surprise miracle formula given to the other company. In any other family, this would be considered uncouth, but it was the norm for Luthors.
"Of course. I'll do it as soon as I can, Miss Luthor." We said our goodbyes, and my phone clicked shut.
Adele's voice made me jump. "You have a male guest."
"What does he look like?" I was irritated. I really didn't want to see anyone. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with my phone on the night stand and fall asleep for as long as I could. I rubbed my tired eyes.
"Tall with dark hair and a gorgeous smile." The French woman smiled conspiratorially and leaned on the door frame. "He's very cute, Alexandra."
I was almost blushing. I hoped it was Clark. I left my mess of crumpled paper to see who was at the door. Since I had checked the reports right when I got up, I was still wearing my pajamas. I had silky black pajama pants and a purple Met U t-shirt. It was totally out of the ordinary for me. I was wearing last night's make-up, and I hadn't fixed my hair yet. It was still pinned up, albeit messily, with the crystals in it.
I was sure that I lit up when I saw Clark standing in the entryway with his hands stuck in his pockets. He gave me one of those brilliant smiles, and he looked surprised when I gave him a heartfelt hug. I had never been the victim of a bear hug in my life until then. Clark's arms squeezed me just a little on the hard side, and he leaned back to lift me off the ground. Without my heels, he was about eight inches taller than me.
"I thought I'd never see you again," Clark joked, but his voice was filled with unease. There was some seriousness in that statement.
"What? You thought I'd leave Smallville without telling you and stay in Metropolis forever? Not a chance. My father's holding me hostage so I can get away from my hectic life." He set me down gently, and I immediately missed the warmth. The boy (he's fifteen) has a normal body temperature about ten degrees above what's average. His black curls look wind-blown, and his aqua eyes are glittering.
"Maybe. I heard what happened to the invisible boy. I expected you to be back when the ordeal was over, but when you weren't, I got nervous." He looked at me sheepishly. "I practically drove your father insane asking where you were today. He finally told me, but he said not to interfere with things. What's going on?"
"It was my life or his," I said softly. I truly believed that. "I wanted to come back, but Victor insisted that we stay in Metropolis for a bit." I noticed that Clark's eyes looked different when I talked about Victor. His body visibly tensed. "I ended up shooting him in the knee. He said a lot of nasty things."
"Easy, killer." It was meant to be a joke, but as soon as I heard the word, I knew that my body language gave away my distress. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked anywhere else but at Clark. "Oh my god, I was just kidding," he quickly corrected, and he brought me close again. I could smell his aftershave. I was totally mesmerized by the sensation of his powerful arms holding me, but I heard the apologies whispered into my ear. "I'm so sorry, Lex." His breath tickled my ear, and suddenly, an innocent situation was lighting me on fire.
"It's okay, Clark. I know you didn't mean it that way. It's just that I have. I killed Cassandra Carver." My voice felt raspy, and I was suddenly tired.
"No, you didn't." I stayed right there in his arms and had no intention of moving.
"I did. Just seeing my future killed her. I killed that teenage boy. He probably could've gotten better with medication and psychological treatment. I shot Victor because I was so fucking angry at him that all I could see was red. My father's right. I'm turning into a murderer." I mumbled the last part. I felt tears in my eyes again, and I stubbornly tried not to cry. Luthors don't cry, Luthors don't cry...
"None of it is your fault. Jeff tried to kill you. You said it yourself; it was either him or you. And you can't blame yourself for Victor. You've been so overloaded lately with these attacks and running the plant that you haven't taken any time for yourself. I think what he said was just the last straw. Your dad's right about one thing. You do need rest." I gave a short, sarcastic laugh. It could've been a sob, but I wouldn't admit it to myself.
"Maybe he had the right intentions, but I have more work here than I would've back in Smallville." He didn't ask me to step away from him, and I didn't ask him if it was okay that I stayed there. His hand was rubbing my back, and my forehead was resting on the side of his chest. I peered up through my eyelashes to see if he was tired of me being so close, but all I saw was caring and maybe a little bit of love. I dared not hope.
"How's that?" He kept his voice low and soothing. I think he could've easily soothed me to sleep if he wanted to.
"He brought me to one of his dinner meetings for Luthorcorp's proposal to work on a project with Wayne Enterprises. Bruce Wayne took a liking to me, and now he'll only do it if I'm the one that negotiates the deal. Not only that, but the plant is in trouble, and I have to figure out how to repair the damage." I was venting. But I couldn't help but think that if there was anyone in the world I wanted to hear it, it was Clark Kent. Not even Adele could do as well.
"It sounds like you have a lot on your plate for resting. Go get dressed. I'm taking you to lunch." It was said in that soft, smooth, baritone voice that I could listen to forever.
"What I'm wearing isn't good enough?" I teased. He surprised me by leaning down and kissing my lips. My heart did back flips in my chest.
"I don't care what you look like. If you go out like that, however, you'll cause a scandal. Lex Luthor wearing a t-shirt." And there was that beautiful smile again.
"Okay, I'll change." I had the irresistible urge to ask him to come with. Clark was feeling adventurous. Maybe it would work, even without any red meteor rock around. I turned to face him and walked slowly backwards as I brought the edge of my shirt up to expose my flat stomach. "Want to watch?" His eyes were glued to my hands and my waist. As soon as I asked the question, his cheeks turned flaming red. For a moment, I thought he might run away.
He swallowed. "Yeah." I could've hit him for the guilt on his face, but he seemed to grow more self-assured the more he looked at me. "I mean, we've already slept together." He sounded like he was trying to make it right in his eyes.
"We have. And you've already seen everything." I was leading him to my temporary bedroom. Adele was nowhere to be seen, thank God. I had a feeling that she made herself scarce for a reason. When we got to my room, Clark closed and locked the door behind him. I thought it was more that he didn't want to get caught rather than us being in here for longer than necessary. I pulled the shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor. I wasn't wearing a bra.
He took a deep breath as if preparing himself. "Can I touch you?" Permission was not one of the things I had often given in my sex life. At least, not verbal permission. I nodded, and he stepped closer to me. His hand ran up my stomach first, and his touch barely flickered over my nipples. He seemed to get braver when he watched them harden into little nubs and started kneading my breasts. I closed my eyes, and I could no longer control my breathing. I was aroused, and there was no doubt that he was too. I didn't look down. I didn't want to do anything to make him feel insecure.
He slipped his hands carefully under the elastic of my pants. He slid his hands down over my thighs, and the silk dropped. A lavender thong was all that was left. I decided to look at him and show him that I was thoroughly enjoying this. When I did, he shed that last piece of cloth from my body, and all of me was exposed to him. I stepped out of my panties. "Wow." It was barely whispered, and it was so gentle it might have been a released breath. "I want to see you without your hair."
This was the only thing I wasn't prepared for. I could bare my naked body, but take off my hair? What if he thought I wasn't beautiful anymore without hair? What if I looked like a freak? All the things I've ever feared about my lost curls were rearing their ugly heads. Luthors don't do anything halfway. I remembered my father saying that when I'd gotten a B on a test that I didn't try on. It seemed to fit here as well. I meekly grasped my wig in the special way that meant removal, and I let that fall to the floor too. I'd never felt more naked than I did at that moment. I was holding my breath.
He inhaled sharply at the sight of my bald scalp. Then he ran his fingers over it. I thought he'd be disgusted, that he'd say his father was right and never come around again. When I looked into his eyes, however, I saw that his pupils were dilated in arousal. His plump lips opened, and I dreaded what he was going to say. "This is the only way you were ever meant to be." It was strange, but it was strangely sweet as well. "You don't need the hair, Lex. You're the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen in my life right now, at this moment."
I scoffed a little in disbelief. "Even more gorgeous than Lana?" I was so jealous of that long, silken, jet black hair. I wanted to rip it from the girl's skull and make a wig out of it. I'd looked at myself long and hard in the mirror ever since I lost my hair, and not once did I think of myself as gorgeous.
"Yes. You're like this perfect, sleek woman, and you don't even know it." He touched my cheek, and I felt myself turn pink. I knew that the tips of my ears turned red when I was embarrassed. I also got freckles when I went tanning. "What was your real hair like before the meteor shower?"
It seemed odd that I was standing there naked and he was fully clothed, and we were talking about my hair, but it also seemed right. We didn't fit the norm. "It was red. Cinnamon. A little darker than carrot, but lighter than auburn. And it was curly. The long curls. I miss them." I hadn't meant to say that. Things just slipped out when Clark was around. I could stop thinking and plotting.
"You should go bare more often. You don't need hair to make you beautiful." He kissed me again. This time, it was deep, passionate, and almost sloppy. He was inexperienced and eager. It was a combination I definitely didn't mind. I guided his tongue to mine and pressed up against him. I could finally feel the erection trapped in his jeans and was surprised to find that a small amount of liquid had seeped through.
Teenagers were naturally extra horny, but I didn't expect him to be so aroused at the sight of my body. I ran my nails up his abs and broke the kiss to pull the shirt over his head. I took the time to admire his muscles again. He was perfect. He was built like a professional football player. I traced his muscles and teased his dark nipples. He let out a sexy moan, and I decided to push him a little.
My hand cupped him through his pants, and he instinctively jerked up against the pressure. "Do you like that, Clark?" With my free hand, I flicked one of his nipples again.
"Yes," he almost hissed. For a moment, it was almost like he was under the influence of the red meteor rock again, but I assured myself it was just impatience and arousal. When I gently bit his nipple and scraped my teeth against it, his dick jumped in my hand. "Oh, fuck." I never thought I'd hear him curse. A part of me was pleased at the thought that I made him do that.
I finally undid the button fly on his jeans. His cock, hard and flushed, sprang free and curved upward toward his stomach. He was big, even by my standards, but I knew he'd be careful. Clark was always careful. He kicked off his boots and socks, and suddenly, he had me pinned to the bed. He probably didn't think I'd notice that he'd used a burst of his superhuman speed, but I was ever observant. It didn't matter.
I eased him into me, and he slowly pushed all the way in. I wrapped my legs around his waist to get a better angle, and he began to do what his body told him. Eventually, his thrusts evened out and became harder and harder. He managed to last longer than I'd expected, and I was brought to climax before he was. I tightened around him and arched my back. "God, Clark," I breathed in a strained voice. It was heaven, if there was one, to have Clark on top of me. He came inside me. It should've been a glorious moment, but it reminded me that I'd forgotten a goddamn condom for the second time.
Clark seemed to have the same realization, even as he lay next to me panting. "We didn't use protection."
"We didn't use it the first time either. I seem to forget what the hell I'm doing when I'm with you." I looked over at him with sincerity in my eyes.
"I knew you were lying to me. I didn't realize it at the time, but later. When I looked back on it." That was impressive. Apparently, he had a great memory and really good perception.
"Yeah. Sorry. I didn't want to freak you out any more than you already were." It was raw honesty that was ruling the moment.
"I don't blame you." He shifted his eyes to the ceiling. "What if you are...?" The unspoken word seemed to be the loudest in the sentence.
"Let's not worry about it unless it happens. Dad wants me to get an abortion if I am." When I saw Clark's confusion, I continued. "He has pictures of us the first time. He must have cameras in the castle." I neglected to say that that meant he probably had cameras here too.
"It figures your dad would want to kill a baby," Clark joked. I smiled despite my situation.
"I don't think your dad would be a big advocate of it either." I couldn't help being serious. His eyes darkened, but then he pulled me close to him. I curled up against his warm chest, which was better than a heated blanket, and quickly fell asleep. Clark's rhythm of deep breathing didn't bother me and instead lulled me into a deeper sleep than usual. It seemed like it had only been half an hour when I woke up in the darkness.
I was afraid that I'd wake up alone, but Clark let out a gentle snore. I stifled a laugh and tried to extricate myself from his long limbs. I needed to check my cell phone to see if Hamilton had called during "lunch." The slightest movement seemed to wake him up, however, and I was pulled back down against his chest. He let out a caveman-like grunt and trapped me there with his arms wrapped around my waist.
"I have to check my phone," I whined. I was silenced by his lips giving me a slow, lazy kiss. I moved my hips to straddle him, and he immediately bucked up against me.
"You have to rest. I'm making sure that you do." His voice was low and clouded by sleep.
"You're not thinking. This is my dad's penthouse." I tried to keep it to a whisper. I didn't know if he was already home. I eyed the digital clock across the room, which read 7:48. I was definitely in trouble. Dad was probably home by now, and there was no way Clark could sneak out.
"We'll be quiet. Your door's locked. He'll just think you won't want to be bothered." He moved his cock to rub against my clit, and I shuddered.
"My father bothers me whether I like it or not." Apparently, trying to knock some sense into him wasn't working. His large hands gripped my ass and took control of the rhythm. Usually, I liked being in the control, but Clark was being so sensual that I didn't mind. It was totally sexy to have Clark being dominant for once. Before we could finish, I heard a rapid knock on the door. We both froze. I knew it was my father. He had to ruin everything.
"Alexandra? What the hell's going on?" His angry tone easily made it through the door. "Get out here and explain yourself. You're not a goddamn teenager anymore." He didn't know what exactly was going on, but he knew something was up. I got up from the bed without making much noise and started dressing myself. Clark started doing the same, but the bed creaked under his weight. "Lex?"
He wasn't going to give up. He was still waiting patiently outside the door while Clark and I got dressed and while I put my wig of long, straight hair on. I didn't want to expose Clark, but I didn't think that hiding him in my closet would work. Plus, Clark had left his coat on the living room couch. Who else that I knew wore that bright red color? When I opened the door, I was half-hoping that Lionel had forgotten about me and wasn't there. Fat chance.
Lionel looked like he was ready to tear down the door. His eyes flickered from me to Clark, who was standing in the background. Then, they narrowed in malice. "Let's talk in the family room, shall we?" It would've been extremely polite were his tone not so deadly. Clark and I silently followed him into the living room, where Clark's coat was still on the back of the couch. I sat to the far side of the couch and expected Clark to sit on the other side, but he sat right next to me and placed an arm around my shoulders. My father didn't like that little rebellion. He sat in the chair like an alpha lion ready to punish his pack by ripping at their hides until he felt they learned their lesson. That probably wasn't too far off from what was going to happen to us.
"So, I see that this little betrayal has come to fruition behind my back." His sharp words were already tearing through me, but I had to stay strong. I couldn't back down if Clark was planning on being strong too. "My twenty-one-year-old daughter, heiress to millions, has decided to cavort with a hick farmer's son." The words were intentionally placed to provoke Clark, and they worked.
"You make it sound like we've been doing something horrible. I love your daughter, Mr. Luthor, and I'm not prepared to relinquish that." Clark was trying to beat Lionel at his own game. I couldn't smile, because my father was mad. Since I was three years old, I had been taught that it wasn't good to smile when Daddy was mad. It was almost instinctive now.
Lionel chuckled, which wasn't a good sign. "What you've been doing is something illegal, Mr. Kent. Even with your consent, Lex is guilty of statutory rape. You're fifteen years old and underage." Clark reddened. It was a weakness that my father bit into and exploited. "Lex, do you really want to pop out babies and live on a farm for the rest of your life? To suffer poverty as a farmer's wife?" I didn't say anything. He stood up and rounded the couch to run his fingers through my fake hair. "I don't want to disinherit you, Lex. This is not your destiny. The son of Jonathan Kent is not a proper suitor, and he's not even old enough. You know better than to fuck little boys."
At his use of obscenity, Clark glared. It seemed that Jonathan Kent's prejudice of Lionel Luthor went the other way around too. It still scared me. I was not ready for a child, much less marriage. "I wouldn't stand in the way of anything Lex wanted to do," Clark said softly. He was obviously a little humbled by my father's accuracy. He knew how to hit all the weak spots.
"Do you think you would let her move to Metropolis when she inherits Luthorcorp? Would you leave your mother and father to move there?" Lionel's smooth voice was cutting deeper and deeper. "Do you really think Lex would fall in love with trailer trash like you? Please, you're still a boy. Maybe you should know a little more about my daughter's sordid past."
"Dad, that's enough." My voice was amazingly firm for what I was feeling right now. Emotional turmoil hadn't been a part of my life until I moved to Smallville. "He doesn't need to know." My juvenile records were sealed because of possible public embarrassment, and my father rarely brought them up unless he wanted a way to shame me.
"Know what?" Well, that bit me in the ass. I held my father's gaze as he returned to his chair, where he perched like a cat ready to pounce.
"You need to learn a lesson, Lex. Perhaps this will help." Tears stung in my eyes. Rejection was common with my father, but it was usually not this blatant in the presence of others. "When Lex was thirteen, she became quite promiscuous. I had to have someone follow her for her protection. As it turns out, Lex had a flavor for older, stronger men. She liked them to dominate her." I knew I was red as I looked out the window at scenic Metropolis. It was a beautiful, starry night. It didn't match what I felt inside. "She started bringing her interests home with her. One night, I caught her with another girl. So you see, Clark, Lex will never love you. You may be strong, but you're stupid, and you certainly won't dominate her. She'll walk all over you. She's never had a successful relationship with a man. Try as she might, the only relationships lasting longer than a week were with women. She's disgraced me more than she can imagine, and all the while, I'm trying to make her into a respectful heiress by providing her with perfectly good suitors."
Clark looked stunned. He was a little pale, like he didn't want to hear all that about me. I didn't blame him. I hadn't told him anything about my past, and he had me in his mind as an angel with no hair. The picture my father painted was very different. Did they even have homosexuality in Smallville?
"He's right," I admitted in a hoarse voice. "About everything. It's best that I get it over with so I don't hurt you later." Lionel gave me a look of approval. Like a pathetic puppy performing for a treat, I was given a rush of contentment. "I'm not the girl for you. You should keep after Lana. She likes you." I still couldn't quite read the expression on Clark's face. I think he was just stunned. "Look, I'll have a limo take you home. If you want to, we can discuss this when I'm back in Smallville at the end of the week. If not, you don't ever have to talk to me again."
He looked surprised by my solution. I thought for a moment that he would choose the latter. "I can get home on my own, Lex. I'm not going to give up on being your friend just because of your sexuality." Wow. It was a really open mind for a closed-minded town like Smallville. If Jonathan Kent knew about my sexuality, he would have a heart attack. He got up, probably grateful to be escaping Lionel's presence, and put on his coat. Dad let him walk out with no further comments about his father.
"God, Dad, could you be any more embarrassing? It was my story to tell on my terms when I was ready." I hid my face in my hands, and I felt weight sink into the couch right next to me. He stroked his hand over my hands. I shivered when his hands went up my thighs. He hadn't even told Clark why I was so averse to men, why all my relationships fell apart. Of course he wouldn't. Clark would've had Social Services involved, and Lionel wouldn't have let that happen. "Please don't." My voice cracked. I hated begging.
"He had to know. You would've hurt him just like you hurt all the others, and it would've broken his heart. You need to be taught a lesson, dear. I'm the only one who can do it." I closed my eyes when he grabbed my thighs and pulled me into his lap. "You look so much like your mother with the auburn hair." His voice had softened. I cringed. At the same time, my heart beat a little bit faster.
"Dad, I don't want to." I didn't open my eyes. A tear slid down my cheek, and his tongue licked the trail.
"You always refuse, like a wild horse. You just need to be broken in. You enjoy it. You've been a bad girl. Let Daddy fix it." I hated it. Hot shame flooded through me. It wasn't the first time he'd done it. It was always a punishment, and it was a sin. After my mother died, my father claimed that I needed more structure in my life. This was the way I was taught, but that didn't keep me from knowing it was wrong. With Clark, it had been so much different. I could have made it with him. This was taking five steps backward, but no one could stop Lionel.
Not even me.