Hello! First off, thank you to all who reviewed! It really boosted me to write faster so I can finish the story. With regard to this chapter, I tried to make the reactions of the characters to the events (of their own lives) as real as possible and I really hope I did that justice. That said, enjoy this chapter!
disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Chapter 11: Aftermath
The momentary revelation left everyone in surprise, except the two best friends who knew exactly what happened two years ago. And for a moment, no one spoke, because no one really knew what to say to a secret long held that could have changed the course of things had it been revealed a long time ago.
Aya stared at the brown eyes in front of her, unanswered questions filled her mind easily, but none could escape her mouth. And Rei just looked at her eyes, his eyes speaking the affirmative, and another look she couldn't identify. In her head she was already asking all those questions to him: why were you there? Why didn't you show yourself? Why didn't you tell me? But her trance broke when he pulled his gaze away from her, and only then did she realize that someone already tried to break the silence.
"Why don't we serve dessert now?" laughed Yuuya awkwardly as he stood up and headed for the kitchen. Mami followed suit.
Cody coughed, "Well then, babe, you should eat some dinner already."
Sari realized just what her revelation meant, and inwardly chided herself for being so crass about it. She looked at Aya apologetically. Aya shook her head and smiled, "Yeah, Sari! Have some of these, they taste heavenly!"
The rest of the gang trying to read the room followed the lead of trying to get some normalcy. Miyu chatted with Ran and Yamato about something random just to deviate the attention from Aya, while Tatsuki stood up to get a bottle of beer who was accompanied by Cody who really felt like he needed a some alcohol to get him through the awkwardness.
"I'll go out for some fresh air," whispered Rei to Kaoru as he quietly stood up. His girlfriend responded with a nod, noticing that his eyes were still stealing glances from the dark-haired lady in front of him who was consciously trying to ignore what just happened and focus on her guests. Kaoru stood up to take a seat beside Ran at the other end of the table finding she has no one to talk to.
When they were out of earshot, Sari whispered to Aya, "Oh my god, Aya! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make it awkward, I was just so surprised that that guy was here! And I didn't realize he was your 'Rei'!"
Aya simply gave a sincere smile to her frantic friend, "It's okay, Sar, really! And," she paused, "he's not my 'Rei'."
Sari frowned, "from where I was looking, it didn't seem that way. There's so much tension between you two, it's so tangible!"
Aya shook her head. "It's not tension! It's just…" she tried to grasp the proper word, "… awkward."
"Because there's tension!" Sari said, almost a little louder than the whisper she intended.
"Geez, Sari! You're not yet even drunk and the things coming out of your mouth is already causing trouble!" joked the blonde American as he approached the girls with a beer. Tatsuki followed behind him.
"So, Aya-ppe," Tatsuki began. "You really didn't know that Rei went to the States?"
Aya shook her head, accompanied by a smile that begged no further questions. But before Tatsuki could even attempt to follow-up, a scream was heard from the kitchem.
"YOU LIED TO ME!" the heiress screamed, "AGAIN!"
Yuuya flung his arms upward in frustration, this conversation of theirs is going nowhere. His workers had long stopped finishing the dessert and tried to inch their way as far from their boss and his fiancée as possible, hoping they could pass through walls as they reached as far back as they could. The couple was long gone from keeping their argument hushed.
"I didn't lie!" argued Yuuya. "It wasn't my secret to tell! Don't you get it?"
"You seem to be in the habit of keeping secrets lately that a secret and a lie has become synonymous with you, hasn't it?" Mami spatted with evident harshness in her tone, her words piercing Yuuya, especially since he was hiding one more secret from her. "Just like that other secret you haven't told me."
Yuuya stood frozen, his mouth quickly shut just before he was about to respond. "What are you—"
"I know that you've been seeing a doctor lately, and after your confession this morning, I did some digging," she explained, her voice constrained and pained at the same time.
Finding his tongue, he was finally able to speak. "Mami, please let me explain."
"Explain what? How you kept something as important as that from me. And then made up another lie to cover it? What? Were you going to marry me with that secret stashed somewhere, huh?" She hissed. "You keep lying to me. Constantly."
Her words stung him so hard that his movements had momentarily become frozen. "Mami, it's not like that!" he managed to say, trying to make her listen to reason but she started walking out of the kitchen. He followed her as he continued to speak. "I didn't know how to tell you, okay? It's not easy! It's not easy to tell you something like that! MAMI!"
They were now in the presence of their friends, whose bodies were all still and confused. Rei went back inside after hearing the shouting that was happening and quickly caught on for he was the only one who knew Yuuya's secrets. Quickly, this dinner has turned into an emotional landmine, they realized.
She turned around to face him, her eyes tear-stricken. "Of course it's not easy! I know THAT! But you LIED to me to hide that fact." Yuuya knew that it was his mistake, that this morning wasn't his finest hour. "Just how long were you going to lie to me, huh? Right before our wedding, or were you planning on going through the wedding without telling me? Tell me!" she demanded. "Just tell me something! Something to explain why you did this, something more than 'it was hard' because honestly, it's getting harder and harder to want to marry you by the second."
Yuuya couldn't answer.
"You weren't planning on telling me," she realized, a painful laugh escaping her. She placed both her hands on her face and it was as if her legs were about to give way when she felt his hands on her shoulders.
"Mami…" he said softly.
"Mami," Miyu was about to go to Mami's side but Yamato held her wrist down, shaking his head. Miyu looked at Ran, who was glued to her seat in shock and also resisting approaching the two.
Mami swatted his arms away leaving him shocked at her rejection. "You wanted us to start a lifelong commitment like this?" she was not shouting anymore. But her word were pained. "You were about to promise at the altar for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and you were going to keep that secret from me?"
"Mami, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know what else to do!" he said, loudly and exasperatedly this time.
"You should have told me the truth! We could have – "
"I told you it wasn't easy! It's not like I can just walk up to you and tell you that I can't give you what you want!" He shouted in frustration, louder than how he wanted it to come out. "Why can't you understand that?"
"Well then if you're having a hard time then let's just call off the wedding!" she shouted in response just as quickly before she can even process what she said.
At her sudden words he was hurt. "FINE." That was not the reply she wanted.
"Guys!" Ran tried to interrupt. "Come on, let's think this through."
"Yeah," Miyu stood up. "Calm down first, you two. Let's not be rash!"
Mami and Yuuya stared at each other as their friends talked, tears threatening to fall in both their eyes, yet there was this evident hurt that each one wanted to inflict at the other. It was Mami who first broke off the stare to face her friends, completely ignoring their words.
"The wedding's off." Her voice was stern and sure. She took off the engagement ring on her finger and placed on the table with much resentment and stormed out of the restaurant.
The gang just looked at each other, surprised at the sudden turn of events before Ran got up and chased after her. Tatsuki tried to approach Yuuya but Rei stopped him. And then she came back after a few minutes saying that she has already drove off to God knows where and she wouldn't answer her phone. Yuuya had is fists clenched and his body was so stiff that nobody dared approach him. But it was Rei who tried to call his name first so that they could get a reaction off of him.
"Yuuya! Mami left! What are you going to do?"
He didn't know. But he was so angry! He was angry at her for not letting him explain fully, and he was angry at God for making him infertile. But he was angriest with himself for hurting the person he loves the most in the entire world and for letting his relationship crumble before his eyes. And in a fit of rage he grabbed the bottle of wine he took out earlier.
"Yuuya," Aya tried to say. But he already raised the bottle over his head and threw it straight to the wall narrowly missing the glass window of his restaurant door. The sound of the bottle hitting the wall and shattering into hundreds of pieces frightened the girls in the room as they shut their eyes. Yuuya breathed heavily as he stared at the big purplish stain on his cream wall drip like raindrops on a windowpane before he fell to his knees and covering his face with his hands.
It was the day after that disastrous dinner and Miyu's calls were still unanswered by their heiress friend. At least they knew she was home (thanks to the butler informing them), even though she locked herself up to everyone, even her parents. But knowing that she wasn't off some place alone and unknown made her a little relieved. She recalled last night's events with a shudder, first with the revelation that Rei actually went to the States to see Aya and second, the biggest fight of the year and what might be another wedding cancelled.
She wondered how Yuuya was too, but the boys took care of him. He spoke no word to any of them after he broke down. Her husband, Rei and Tatsuki told everyone else to leave Yuuya to them and to go home and rest. They followed the boys orders (except for Aya who took her friends out to enjoy after that very unexpected turn of events). As far as Miyu was able to gather from Yamato, Yuuya drank beer all night until he passed out and Rei brought him home.
Miyu browsed through the array of books on the multi-level racks in a random aisle in the local bookstore. She wasn't looking for anything in particular, just anything interesting and that would spark an idea for her class of seven to eight year olds, half of whom she was sure was a case of ADHD. The teacher once thought of making a short class play to teach her students history when she saw a how-to book on making costumes. Miyu thought it would be good for her to gather some new inspiration, after all, she prided herself with being students' favorite for her fun and interactive teaching style.
Really, she needed this after last night's events at Yuuya's restaurant. So here she was, finding her relaxation in reading books. She inwardly laughed when she remembered how back in high school she would only visit a bookstore to read on the latest fashion and gossip magazines. Oh, how they've all grown up, she thought.
Miyu's train of thought, however, was briefly interrupted by a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, she found herself face-to-face with a certain blond man with spiky hair and tan skin.
"Hey, Miyu!" he greeted with a smile that went from ear to ear. "Fancy bumping into you here."
"Tatsukichi! Hi!" she greeted back with a warm smile. "What are you doing here?"
He held up a thick, hard-bound book, with a picture of a man, whose identity she was clueless to, in a white coat and a chef's hat, arms-crossed against his chest and a kitchen laid out in front of his with various utensils and tools for cooking. Tatsuki grinned, "Doing some research."
When they finished purchasing their respective books, they agreed to go have a bite somewhere nearby so they can continue chatting. Apparently, Tatsuki has been trying out some new dishes to incorporate into their menu and was thinking of infusing some classic Japanese dishes with other cuisines to give their restaurant an edge. Of course, everything was just in the process of being tried out, and he's been checking recipe books to see what works and what doesn't and to learn other cuisines. He said his dad was not that open to the idea at first but since the blond man was the reason for the expansion of their once-little shop his father agreed to give it a chance as long as he produce some good dishes that pass his standards.
"Wow!" Miyu exclaimed. They both decided not to talk about last night's events, both being exhausted from it. "That sounds really exciting!"
Tatsuki grinned, "Yeah! I'm really glad to be doing this. It's something new and fresh, and I'm just so full of ideas that I don't remember the last time I've been this inspired to do something new!"
Miyu took a bite of her parfait before saying, "I'm so happy for you! I'm so proud of you for going out of your comfort zone."
He blushed at the compliment, scratching the back of his head. "Thanks, Miyu. That means a lot. Actually, I have always been contented with safe, and I always thought preserving what my family built was the goal. But I realized that it can be preserved even though things change, and that our shop can ride along with that change. But of course, I'll have to make it work," Tatsuki made a shy laugh. "Actually it was Suzuru who came up with the idea."
Miyu suddenly tensed up at the mention of her name. "Tatsukichi, are you two getting serious?" she asked out of the blue
Tatsuki looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean?"
"I mean your feelings for her, are they serious?"
"I can't really say, Miyu, it's not like we've been going out for a long time," he answered, giving it a thought. "But I do really like her."
"Don't you think," she paused before continuing. "Ran,"
Tatsuki looked at Miyu rather annoyed at the sudden bring up of her name. "What about her?"
"She was quite hurt when you brought Suzuru—"
"Ran and I have been over for years now," he reasoned. "I shouldn't need to be walking around eggshells around her anymore."
Miyu could sense the tension building up. "Yes, I know. I'm sorry, Tatsukichi, I didn't mean it like that. I'm not saying you shouldn't have brought Suzuru, of course not!" Tatsuki's face softened at her explanation. "I just mean that you're starting a new relationship now but there are still unresolved feelings and issues between you and Ran."
"It's still hard for me," the blond man began. "Please understand, Miyu, that I didn't hold back my forgiveness just for the sake of being mean. I can't say I forgive her just for her sake either. I'd want to mean it when I do."
"I know. And that's fair. But I know that you know that Ran still has feelings for you, and she still hopes that things can be fixed."
Tatsuki broke away from her gaze, transferring his stare to his half-finished iced tea.
"Tatsukichi, if there's really no hope for you guys then give yourselves the closure you need. Forgive her so both of you can move on properly," she said, extending her hand to hold his. "But if there's even a possibility of you two working things out then please stop punishing her. She has suffered enough."
Tatsuki did not reply. Miyu only hoped that her two friends would finally put two years of hurt to rest and move on.
Aya was scrolling through her phone with her thumb, brushing past pictures of various dishes whose recipes piqued her interest. She tried to look at the ingredients and thought immediately that she could get them in the grocery store near her apartment complex. Her free hand played with the tuna pesto pasta in front of her with her fork. She just came from an eventful late night with her friends to shift at the hospital and was having her lunch at her favorite café since she remembered that there is nothing in her refrigerator remotely edible for breakfast.
She twirled the pasta with her fork, her gaze still focused on the seafood marinara recipe on her phone, before feeding it to herself. The dark-haired intern quietly thought that she needed a hobby, something to do other than read medical books and journals on her free time, something to put her unused energy on.
"Is this seat taken?" a deep voice asked. It took her a while to process that the voice was referring to the seat in front of hers (despite the evident abundance of free seats and tables in the café, she thought). Taking her gaze away from her phone, she looked up and was met with chocolate-brown eyes. She shook her head subconsciously and Rei sat down, a cup of coffee in tow.
It was quiet for a while between them, so many questions running through her head. From what happened between Mami and Yuuya last night to taking her friends out to see some nightlife in Japan and then straight to her hospital shift, she realized she barely even had time to think about, let alone process, the revelation that last night brought. And it's not like she wanted to talk to him right away, she didn't even know where to begin and what to say, or where to even begin with the questions she had when Sari instantly spilled the beans. Or maybe she just shouldn't find out. After all, she's finally set on her "moving on" stage, this will just set her a lot of paces back.
What was she expecting from him anyway? The probabilities scared her. If he was to say the right words, she might just be convinced that she shouldn't move on from him and that he was the love of his life waiting to happen. Or his reasons could disappoint her, hurt her even more, realizing just how many years she wasted pining over him.
And to top it all, he had Kaoru. And as a girl, she didn't want to intentionally take someone important away just to be selfish, she could never sleep with that weight on her. Aya did not want to be one of those people who wrecked relationships, if was just bad karma altogether. But more importantly, she did not want to keep waiting for him, especially if there is no guarantee that he will come back to her, even if that was all she ever wanted. Before, she added in her thoughts.
"About last night," he said, finally breaking the icy silence as he looked at her. He stares still able to bring shivers down her spine.
"I just have two questions," she interrupted, wanting to be the one to control the situation. She decided that there was only certain things she needed to know, and that she didn't want the full story.
Rei nodded, his expression calm and collected, agreeing to her terms.
"Why..." she tried to form the right words, closing her mouth again, looking him straight in the eyes, as she fiddled with her fingers below the table. "Is it true? That you went there?"
Rei looked at her, his expression unreadable, yet his eyes were still enchanting as ever. He took a moment to form his answer in his head, but the longer he took to answer, the more anxious Aya got.
He nodded, his eyes fixated on her.
Knowing he wouldn't elaborate unless she asked, she simply continued. "My second question is, why? I mean, why didn't you show yourself to me?"
There it was. The question he didn't want to answer yet knew he inevitably had to face. And he had no real acceptable answer for it, for he knew that his reasons were no longer justified. That it was his mistake all along. That if he only waited a little longer, if he only took a few more steps forward and talked to her himself then maybe, just maybe…
"I… I couldn't," he said.
"Couldn't what?"
"I couldn't do it. Go to you, I couldn't do it. And I have not one reason that could possibly be acceptable to you, except simply that I was afraid."
His answer had taken her aback. "Afraid of what?"
He can see something in her eyes and wondered what it was. The ice king was now afraid that tears would fall again, and know that it continues to be his fault.
He shrugged. "Afraid of what I can't commit to you."
"I don't—"
"I knew what it would mean to you if I showed up there. I knew that it was one big gesture of love, and to you that would be a promise, any sort of promise, that would come from me," he said, and for the first time in this conversation he took his eyes off her and stared out the window. "I saw you that day and I realized that I don't think I can promise you anything I can hold."
"I never asked you to promise me anything, remember? That's why we broke things up when I left," she said, able to hold her tears back and keep her feelings in place.
He looked at her, his eyes softer than she had ever seen them since she got back. "You're right. But I know you, Aya. You're the type of girl who hopes and endures whatever hurt comes your way. And I… I couldn't give you any more hope only to hurt you in the end."
"You couldn't have known that," she said, her tone with a hint of pleading.
"Oh, but I know me. I know that I would have disappointed you then, and that you would get hurt and I couldn't… I couldn't do that anymore," she looked at him, with sadness in her eyes. But the tears didn't fall, to his surprise, but he read something else.
Instead, she smiled, a sorrowful smile that was all too familiar. "I guess even then you still couldn't fight for me."
He looked at her in silence. Rei always knew that she was beautiful, with her long black hair, her big expressive eyes that smiled along with her own smile, a smile he considered to have brighten up his day from time to time. All of these things he would never admit to anyone out loud. And he looked at this beauty who told him the reality: that he was a coward who couldn't fight for the girl he loved no matter how many chances he gave her. And he was ashamed.
Rei nodded, "You're right, I couldn't. I'm sorry." She was surprised to hear him apologized, he could see that. But she smiled, a genuine smile but it showed resigned acceptance. They sat there for a little while longer, in silence, but their eyes were locked with each other. It was a connection that neither one of them wanted to break, not yet, they thought, they just weren't ready to let reality sink in. Engrossed in their connection they didn't notice someone approach their table.
"Hey there," the light-brown haired girl said. "Hope I'm not interrupting something."
The two broke stare and turned to the source of the voice. "H-hey, Kaoru," Aya greeted nervously. Has she been there long? Aya barely noticed.
"Oh hey," Rei greeted. "I thought we were going to meet back in the firm?"
Kaoru gestured to the seat between them, on one side of the square table, to which Aya nodded, "P-please."
"I decided to drop by when you'd have lunch here so I can join you," Kaoru smiled, a little strained, Aya noticed. "Am I intruding?"
Aya gave her a smile, replying "No. Not at all."
"Oh," Kaoru said. "It's good that you guys are finally catching up."
Aya looked at Rei, finding the situation awkward, even though she knows she's not doing anything wrong. The eyes that were earlier fixed on her now were fixed on the cup of coffee Rei wasn't able to finish while they were conversing. He seemed a little irritated but she couldn't be sure.
"Yeah," she said, taking a desperate look on her wristwatch. "But I think I'll have to go now. I just came here for my lunch break but I should go back soon or the residents will kill me," Aya stood up grabbing her bag and a coat that was hanging on her chair.
"Oh, going already?" Kaoru asked.
Aya nodded and smiled politely, "Goodbye."
It was only then that Rei raised his eyes but only caught a sight of her back as it retreated from him. He was letting her go, he thought, again, even though all his insides were telling him not to.
The driveway was wide, clearly meant for two lanes, and it led up to a rotunda with a huge fountain in the middle that was lit up since the night had already arrived. On either side of the driveway was a huge patch of grass with trees around the gated estate, and this patch led all the way back to the yard which was even wider that what was in front of the house. That was where they were going to hold their reception, Yuuya thought, as he drove past the rotunda and to the main entrance of the Honda mansion.
No matter how many times he had been to this place, he never fully got used to huge estate and the lifestyle that Honda Mami grew up in. This has always been a subject of his insecurity, the nagging question of whether he could give Mami what she was always so used to getting. Yet whenever his insecurity hits him, it always seemed that Mami would reassure him that she loved him, and that was enough, that his sincere love for her was always going to be enough. But as much as he believed her words, that she would love him no matter what, at the back of his head he always knew that there was going to be something about him that wasn't enough.
When he reached the ten feet grand door that was the main entrance, a valet took his car and he was greeted by the butler. "Ms. Mami will be down shortly, Mr. Yuuya. She requests that you wait for her in the living room."
He nodded and went to the living room, already familiar with the place despite the assistance of the butler. Ever since the night before, he had regretted the words they exchanged and the night ended with the threat of not pushing through with the wedding. Yuuya had called his fiancée many times this afternoon, after he had finally gotten rid of the headache that was the result of the heavy drinking the night before, insisting that they talk through this and apologized so many time for the things he had said and the things he had done. It wasn't until the 14th call that Mami had picked up and agreed to talk to him at her house.
After what felt like waiting forever, she finally came down the spiral staircase, dressed in a long, simple dress that reached the floor. But what was more noticeable that her aristocratic-like descent was the swollen eyes and the red, irritated nose that marked her face. She didn't even try to hide it with make-up.
"Mami," Yuuya said softly when she was finally close enough. Quickly, he hugged her, tightly, breathing in the scent of her. He was so scared that after last night, they might not get over this fight.
But she didn't return the hug, and he noticed, so he let released her from the hug and they both sat down on the coach. He took her hand and held it tightly. Mami didn't resist.
"Mami, I'm so sorry, so so sorry, I love you," said Yuuya, his voice weak and pleading. "The things I said last night about the wedding, I didn't mean them, I –"
"Yuuya," she cut him off. "I… I already cancelled the wedding."
Yuuya was about to say something but closed his mouth instantly at her sudden words. His eyes grew with surprise and his felt his heart sink.
"W-why? Mami, you don't have to do that, I lo–"
"But I do," she said, this time looking at his eyes while hers were starting to fill up with tears.
She looked at him with eyes that said that she was hurting too. He looked at her, tears starting to fall from his face, or at least that's what it felt like. Yuuya loosened the grip he had on her hand, feeling like a block of cement had fallen on top of him. There were words that he wanted to say, but his tongue remained frozen as he watched he shake her head in sadness when she covered her face with her hands.
End of Chapter
Woohoo. Finished that one. So what did you guys think?
One more thing, I think that one of the couples (Aya/Rei, Mami/Yuuya and Ran/Tatsuki) should not have a happy ending (together). Actually, as to which, I already have an idea. But who knows. Anyway, leave a review, they will be much loved!