Faith's hands clutched together as she sat on the brown leather sofa chair. The smell of it infected her nose but she kind of liked the smell. It was fresh and rich.
"So, what has happened in the past week, Faith?" her therapist, Susan, asked.
Faith sighed and sat back up, slouching in the back of the sofa chair and shrugging as she looked down to her fingernails "I...broke up with my boyfriend"
Susan tilted her head, her brows pinched together softly as she once again raised another question "Why?"
Faith rested her head in her hand, rubbing her forehead. She paused for a moment, not really wanting to discuss her relationship problems with a woman who is only pretending to care because her parents were paying her £50 a week to listen to Faith's problems an then give her advice which to be honest she didn't even know was working. But she was going to have to answer her "We got into a fight. Because he felt like I shut him out and I...I snapped back to him and it just kind of happened?"
"Don't you regret it?"
Faith shrugged "Doesn't matter. Nothing has happened since. I was going to speak to him on the day but things got in the way and then I just never spoke to him again"
"What other things happened, Faith?"
Faith took a deep breath through her nose "One of the teachers at my school slapped my mum...and I" she looked down to her hands "And I just felt this rage, this anger that I didn't even know I had. It was bubbling up inside of me and I didn't even know how to stop it till my mother calmed me down. But god, I wanted to kill her. I wanted to beat her senseless"
"And why do you think that is? Why do you think you felt that?"
The question for her was more simpler than the other, and easier for her to say "I have never seen someone physically attack my mum. It was something I had actually thought about, what would I do if a student or even this prick Ralph Mellor went mad and went for her. In my head I planned how I'd take deep breaths. Try and control my anger. But seeing it...god...I'd rather get hit a hundred times than see that again"
Susan dropped her pen down to her pad and closed it up as leaned forward "You're highly protective of your mother, yes?"
Faith nodded. She then shrugged "Isn't every kid?"
"Oh I think your protective instincts for your mother goes above and beyond...I, for one have never seen a daughter so protective"
"She's my best friend" Faith shrugged again.
"Do you think it's from your past? Through the things you have been through...you have your mum after wanting her for so long, do you think it's that which has made her someone that you need to protect? Scared in losing her so you take matters into your own hands to make sure you don't?"
Faith thought for a moment, staying in silence. She then slowly nodded "I guess. Is that a bad thing?"
"No. It's a lovely thing to see, a daughter wanting to protect her mum so much. But what I think Faith, is that the voice in your head that is scaring you into thinking that you're going to lose her is what is making you have this anger, from the fear of losing your mum. The thing that we need to work on with you, is to help that voice in your head change. To stop the anxiety and constant worry"
She actually made a pretty good point. It was a little voice in her head, making her thing that every little thing that happens was going to lead to her being seriously hurt. Because of everything else that had gone wrong in her life, she felt like she wasn't going to be able to hold onto anything she was happy about. Her losing Bolton just proved her point in her head. Faith nodded to her and then spoke in a voice that could be suggested to be mocking "And you're going to help me do that are you?"
Susan gave her a brief, faint smile and just nodded. Faith raised her brows for a brief moment with a neutral look on her face and slouched back.
The break up with Bolton had took a toll on her. She felt like she had lost an arm with him not being by her side, it caused her to lose the energetic spark that she had throughout the lessons and the day. It caused her to be quiet. Much more quiet. In fact, the majority of her teachers didn't know what to do with themselves. It was even more odd seeing Faith on one side of the classroom and Bolton on the other. Not even engaging in anyway. No eye contact, no mouthing words to each other.
It was hard for their group, it was awkward and tense.
The fact that they hadn't even said two words to each other for days didn't help. They weren't on any solid ground or a mutual friend ground which Faith always thought that. So much so that she stuck to herself for a bit. With her best friend being both her mother and the head teacher, she spent her outside of class time in the office. Lying there on the couch whilst Rachel was at her desk doing some paper work.
They didn't even have to speak, Faith just liked the company. Rachel looked up from her work over to her daughter who was practically taking a nap on her couch and asked "What've you got next?"
"Well, food tech as of last week in cancelled till you find a replacement" Faith smirked, opening her eyes as she turned her head to her. Rachel frowned to her and said "Not until I find replacement, the substitute food tech teacher is coming in on Friday"
Faith shrugged her shoulders and looked back up to the ceiling "Till friday then"
"So you have a free?"
"Free as a bird" Faith mumbled with her eyes closed again.
Rachel was going to ask her to talk to Bolton, she hated to see how much Faith was moping and how sad she was, but the door opened and Eddie, who had no idea that Faith was there said "So, my sexy-"
"Rah" Faith yelled as her hands flew to her ears. Eddie's head snapped to her, then hearing Rachel giggle. Eddie sighed and muttered with a smirk "Sorry, kiddo"
He walked over to Rachel, he leaned his hand down on the desk as he stood by her very closely and muttered in her ear "What's going on?"
Rachel turned her head to him and whispered "She's on a free and can't exactly be around Bolton right now with everything that has happened. I'd rather her be here than wandering around on her own"
"Good idea" Eddie muttered, giving her a quick kiss on her forehead before standing up straight and look over to Faith "How're you doing?"
Faith groaned "If one more person asks me that...he hasn't died" she's well and truly keeping her guard up. Acting like she didn't exactly care when it was actually killing her inside. She had cried a few times in the night which Rachel was obviously aware about. But during the day time, she acted tough as nails.
There was a knock on the door and then for it to be rudely opened by Ralph Mellor. Faith looked up and then mumbled the jaws theme tune as she put her head back down on the couch.
"Faith" Rachel warned. Secretly being amused. She looked to Ralph and cleared her throat as she dropped her pen and tried to speak in the most polite way as possible "Ralph. What can we help you with this time?"
"Why has Ruby Fry being sacked?" he snarled.
Eddie shrugged and shook his head "She hasn't as of yet. She's been suspending on an investigation"
"For what? Exactly?" he asked sternly.
Faith's brows pinched together as she lifted her hand up and said with sarcasm "Erm maybe locking me in a storage cupboard?"
Ralph looked to her "I'd call that a public service"
Faith's brows then rose as she whistled out a laugh and shook her head. She then pointed to Rachel and said "Should we not mention the fact that she also assaulted her boss?"
Eddie waved his hand to Faith as he kept his eyes on to Ralph. That was point enough if he didn't think that locking a student in a cupboard wasn't bad enough for a suspension. Eddie dropped his hand down and said "Ruby has been abusing pills, locked a student up and slapped the headteacher. Do you expect us to allow that kind of behavior on?"
The only reason Ralph was so upset about this whole thing is because Ruby was from John Fosters. A highly respected and posh teacher. If it was Steph or Grantly who had done this then he wouldn't have cared. But he was so determined to keep on the 'best' teachers. But Ruby was far from being the best. She just had all the money, well she did. It practically ran down the drain now.
"This school will crumble to the ground without respected teachers"
Faith sat up and muttered "Yeah what part of any of that screams respected?" she looked up to get another look from Rachel which was asking her to be quiet in all of this. Which Faith abided by, she didn't want to make it worse for her. For either of them.
Faith just got up and walked over to the table and took out some of her books. She may as well look as productive as possible. She even put her earphones in, so that she didn't snap at Ralph if he said something that she didn't exactly like. Which would have been more than likely.
Her working just ending up doodling. She was a pretty good drawer. Of cartoons that is. She could cook up a mean Mickey Mouse. After a while, she was nudged on the arm to come back down to earth. When she looked up, she saw that Ralph was gone, Rachel was sat in her chair letting out deep exhausted sighs. And Eddie stood in front of her, looking like he really wanted to hit something. She took out her earphones and asked "What did he say?"
Rachel shook her head as she leaned back in her chair "He will just pick at anything to jump on me. I really think he's trying to get to me resign"
Eddie walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders "Well he isn't going to win is he?"
Rachel tightly smiled as she gripped onto her hand and shook her head "No. He isn't"
Faith stood up and walked over to the window, leaning against it as she looked out the playground at the front. She saw Bolton prancing around like a moron with Paul. She could tell his smiles and laughs were fake, she knew not just because of how well she knew him. But how his smile wiped away as soon as Paul's back was turned. He was hurting, which made her feel the hurt. Her eyes prickled from them filling up. Faith bit her lip and looked down to try and get them to pass by. Rachel turned her head from talking Eddie and saw the heartache on her daughter's face.
It made her heartache.
She tilted her head a said in a gentle voice "Faith..."
Faith sighed and looked up back up, not at Rachel though, she just looked out of the window. Rachel glanced to it. She couldn't see out but she knew he was clearly out there. She looked back to her daughter and said "Faith, love"
Faith looked to Rachel. Seeing the pleading look on her face as she whispered "Go talk to him. Please" she then looked back out the window as Rachel added in a more balanced tone "You're doing yourself no good by torturing yourself like this. If you talk to him you'll feel better"
"Or I'll just break down crying in front of everyone and embarrass myself? No thank you" Faith cleared her throat and looked back to Bolton once more before turning away, she folded her arms and stood in front of the desk, looking down at her feet, then mumbling "I don't know what to do with myself majority of the time" she laughed breathlessly and lifted her head up. Looking to the wall.
Eddie and Rachel shot each other a sad look. Eddie looked back to Faith and said "You will, darlin"
"Thanks for the attempt at reassurance" Faith said with a weak smile, then turning her head and seeing something else outside. She raised her brows and sighed "Mother. He's back"
"Hm?" Rachel stood up and walked over to the window with Eddie and saw Ralph pulling his car back up.
Rachel groaned with her hands on her hips and said "What now?"
She looked to Eddie, then sighing and heading out with Eddie behind her. Then after a moment at staring Bolton some more. Faith then followed.
They made their way down to the front where Ralph was yelling at Flick as grabbed hold of Marley which clearly caused a stir. He then when to go and grab Flick, but Eddie got in front of her and pushed him away "You're out of order Ralph"
"Ah Rachel Mason. It's your fault you're the one who let this scum in here in the first place. You happy now?" he yelled as he got towards her more. Holding up the restraining order document "Taken my daughter away from me!"
In a calm voice, Rachel said "You lost her yourself, Ralph..." she slowly backed up as she spoke to the rest of the student around "Come on everyone, let's go inside" it wasn't just Faith she wanted to protect. It was all of these kids.
Ralph grabbed her arm which caused Faith to feel the same boiling anger she felt before. But she stayed calm when Rachel pulled herself out of Ralphs hand "You think you're getting away with this-"
"This is my school"
"Says the lying tart"
Faith took one step forward as Eddie got in between him and Rachel and pushed him with his own boiling anger "That's enough!" he would have done more, but with Rachel putting her hand on Faith's and then putting her other on Eddie's arm she said "Eddie leave it"
"You'll be sorry Mason, I'll make sure of that" Ralph finished at that and walked away. Rachel closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against Eddie's back before rubbing his arm as he turned to her, Rachel gave him a soft smile and said in a quiet, loving voice "Thank you"
She briefly touched his cheek as he smiled to her and then turned to Faith and said "And you. Well done for how you handled that"
"Dad beat me to it" Faith muttered, making Rachel smirk and rub her back. She looked to Flick "Shouldn't of had to go through that, Flick" she put her hand on the young girls face and whispered "I'm sorry"
She then looked to everyone else and called "Come on everybody"
As they all walked, Faith looked over to Bolton who was looking at her with concern. He just wanted to know if she was alright. Her look at him was neutral and didn't reveal much, she just looked away and walked in the school with Rachel and Eddie. Faith slid her hands in her pockets and cleared her throat. Stopping in the hallway as she let out a sigh and looked to Bolton over her shoulder who was looking to her. She quickly turned her head back and looked down to the floor.
"Faith" Rachel called as she walked back over to her once noticing her daughter was no longer beside her.
Faith looked up to her as Rachel scanned her face and asked "Are you alright?"
Faith cleared her throat once again and nodded, with an unconvincing look on her face. She scratched the back of her neck "Y-Yeah I'm just. I'm going to get some air during this hour"
"Faith-" Rachel reached to touch her arm but Faith stepped away and said in a blubbering mutter "No mum I'm fine. I just need to..."
Faith back up and turned around. Rachel sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. There was nothing she could do, there was no way in making Faith feel better. Not like this, not whilst she was so heartbroken.
Faith kept her head down, wiping her wet cheeks as she made her way into the toilet. Faith checked that it was empty, and that was when she allowed herself to cry. She leaned her hands on the sink and bowed her head down. Watching the tears drop down into the bowl. She tried to keep herself as best composed as possible, she took deep breaths and then took her hands to her forehead, pressing her palms against it. Every room she was in felt like that bloody food tech cabinet that she was locked up in like a damn animal.
She got a good look at herself in the mirror and just shook her head at herself. Calling her pathetic in her head. But then stopping it. She was told to try and nip those thoughts in the bud as soon as they peaked through. Faith ran her fingers through her hair and cleared her throat. Putting her hands on her hips and rubbed her lips together, tapping her fingers as she stood in thought. She had to put on a brave face. She had to make everyone think that she was okay, even Bolton. Though, he'd probably see straight through it.
Faith walked out of the bathroom and went down the hall. She went down a corridor. Where Bolton was. Waiting outside his class for his teacher to show up, he looked up to her and saw that her eyes clocked onto him the same time his did to hers. She looked at him and sighed, then looking away and back down at the floor before walking down the corridor and trying her best to avoid him. But she wasn't going to have that happen now, he couldn't just let her walk past.
Bolton stopped her by holding onto her arm "Faith"
"Don't"
"No. We need to talk. Gotta sort this out" Bolton insisted, letting go of her as soon as he felt like she was going to stay and stand facing him. Faith sighed and folded her arms as she looked to him, giving a light shrug "What's there to sort out?"
"I don't wanna lost ya" he shook his head "That fight was stupid"
"It wasn't stupid" she said in a calm tone, shaking her head again. Which took him a little by surprise. Faith looked to the side for the moment and then said as she looked back to him "I didn't want to fight but it wasn't stupid. I wanted to make you understand how on edge I am about everything. And I think now you realize"
"Okay...okay yeah. But why do we have to break up?"
Faith pressed her finger tips against her forehead and sighed as she closed her eyes. Bringing her hand back down as he said "It's like we both lose no matter what"
"I know" she mumbled.
"And that makes no sense" he added on. Faith took her eyes back to him and sighed "I know"
"So..."
Faith ran her fingers through her hair and then gripped onto it. This was hard for her. So much that she wanted to just burst out crying right here in the corridor. Faith gulped heavily and dropped her hands, her eyes did begin to fill up slightly "Bolt I...I want you. I do. But I also want to get better and" she pressed her hand against her stomach as she took in a deep breath and then added "And I feel like to do that, I need to figure things out on my own for a little bit. Till my head can just...fix itself" she gave him a heartbreaking smile.
Bolton listened to her, he really listened to her. And once he did and once he let it sink on. He understood where she was coming for. Bolton nodded and cleared his throat, looking at the floor for a moment as he then went on and mumbled "Well...if that's what you've gotta to do. Then...I'll be here"
"You saying you'll wait for me" Faith mocked, rolling her eyes with a small smirk.
Bolton laughed and nodded "Somethin like that"
Faith smiled as she gazed into his eyes. Then suddenly they were flown across the other side of the corridor, from a large explosion from behind them.