A/N: From now on the intros in italics are selected lyrics to the song used as the titles.

A Woman Like Me

How lovely to be a woman, the wait was well worth while, how lovely to wear mascara, and smile a woman smile, how lovely to have a figure, that's round instead of flat, whenever you hear boys whistle, you're what they're whistling at! It's wonderful to feel, the way a women feels, it gives you such a glow, just to know, you're wearing lipstick and heels. How lovely to be a woman, and have one job to do, to pick out a boy and train him, and then when you are through, you've made him the man you want him, to be! Life's lovely when you're a woman like me!

Draco began hyperventilating; hardly noticing someone else was in the bathroom with him. "Oh hell… Oh hell… Oh bloody hell…"

"You got that right, menstrual cycles are a bloody hell."

"Hermione, what the hell is going on?" He asked, not demanding but almost a bit scared; almost.

"It's going be okay, it's only your menstrual flow, you'll be okay Ryo."

"But Hermione, I'm bleeding!" Draco was now panicking "I'm bleeding! What's wrong with me?!"

"Ryo, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just going through your period."

"My what?"

"Your period; your dot; your flow; your special time of the month. It's what I started explaining earlier. Ryo, did you grab a second pair of underwear when you ran into our room?" Draco nodded.

"Ye-yes, I did."

"Okay, is there any blood on them?"

"N-no, not yet."

"Okay, good. Hand them to me"

"WHAT?" Draco managed to croak, ("I AM NOT HANDING MY UNDERGARMENTS TO A MUDBLOOD!")

"Ryo, relax, please just hand them to me." Draco did so, a tad bit reluctantly though; he wanted me to point out. "Thank you. Ooooo… These are nice, very cute. And fortunately for us, they aren't a thong!" She giggled slightly while Draco blushed slightly at this comment. "Oh, you might want to sit down and let the blood fall into the toilet rather than the floor."

"Oh, right." Draco sat down onto the toilet seat, blushing a bit more. "I mean I've never-"

"I understand. Having this happen with no previous briefing must be a little scary. Here you go, this should help."

"Thanks." He grabbed his underwear that Hermione had floated over. "Uh, Hermione… What's this?" Draco asked examining it.

"It's a pad, it's meant to absorb the blood. It's bewitched so that you'll be able to know when to change pads."

"Oh, thank you…. Ack! I feel like I'm wearing a diaper!" Hermione giggled.

"Yes, I know that feeling, I think all women do." Draco magically cleaned up the blood on the floor before stepping out of the stall.

"Have you gotten you're period yet Hermione?"

"Me? No, not yet this month. I'm usually a few days behind everyone else."

"Oh… And who is everyone; exactly?" Hermione giggled.

"Everyone; exactly. Sarah, Meredith, Lavender, Padma, Megan, Kat; pretty much every girl second year and older."

"But isn't Megan a first year?"

"Yeah, but everyone starts at different ages."

"Oh." There was a fairly awkward silence.

"Well, I suppose I should do things proper."

"What?" Draco asked confused washing his hands.

"Oh, I was just assessing whether or not to go ahead and give you the "talk"."

"Yes! Yes! Please do!" Hermione turned around to see at least half the female Gryffindor population standing in the door bemused. Sarah was grinning deviously. "We arranged for the house elves to bring up some food, none of us wanted to miss your beautiful 'You're Body's Going Through Changes' speech." Hermione laughed.

"So you're telling me that practically every female Gryffindor came to hear me give the "talk"?"

"Yup!" They all chirped happily.

"Of course followed by games and gossip," Sarah said matter of factly.

"Of course, how could I forget," Hermione responded seriously before half laughing, "You are all weird."

"We know." Hermione sighed defeated.

"Sure, whatever." Cheers followed this agreement. Draco just stared at them all oddly, embarrassed by it all.

Everyone seemed to find room to sit, how they did it I have no clue though, so don't ask me okay? Anyways, like I was saying, Hermione, Draco, well technically Ryo, and Sarah were sitting on Hermione's bed with Ginny resting her arms on the mattress since she was on the floor near the bed. "So, Ryo, you know nothing about what's happening?" Draco shook his head; this was followed by laughter by multiple parties in the room.

"Sounds sorta familiar, doesn't it Ginny?" Lavender asked nudging her; Ginny turned bright red.

"It's not my fault my mother neglected to tell me what was going on," She said trying to sound indignant but ended up laughing. "At least I was a first year and my mother assumed I'd get it latter." Draco didn't look happy at this statement, he blushed slightly and looked down embarrassed; and Ginny noticed. "Oh! I'm sorry Ryo. I didn't meant to-" Draco shook his head.

"Whatever, it's no big deal, really." Whoa, talk about un-Draco-like behavior. Must be the emotional side effect of menstrual cycles. But back to the "talk."

"Okay then! Back to Hermione's story!" Sarah imputed.

"Oh, so it's a story now?" She laughed continuing, "Anyways, Ryo, all girls have certain, er…, parts; we'll be focusing on those below the belt, internally and externally. Well, I guess I have to start by kind of explaining sex don't I?" The girls all giggled at this while Hermione looked as though she was trying to think it all out; what she was going to say of course! Get your mind out of the gutter! If you want stories like that go ask The Slash Café to order some. Wait, scratch that, I don't believe they're open yet, but back to the explanation of Draco's new girly parts. "Well, as you may or may not know, women and men both contribute to the product of sex; a baby-" Draco blushed at this. ("Oh god, oh god… She's giving me a sex talk! And I can't get those bloody knickers out of my head! Crap. Oh crap…") "Women contribute the egg. The eggs are stored in the two ovaries located about here," Hermione pointed to about where they would be on herself, "They're connected to the uterus, which is about here-" Draco's eyes widened and the blush on his cheeks deepened as Hermione now touched where this was located. "Which is connected to the opening down a bit lower," Hermione continued blushing slightly, "I won't show where that is located…"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawe…" Went everyone before laughing.

"Yes, please don't Hermione, I'm scarred for life already by the sight of you and those knickers of yours," Lavender explained woefully, laughing of course; Draco blushed of course. Hermione made a face and stuck out her tongue before laughing as well.

"So, like I was saying before Lavender so rudely interrupted-"

"And saved us all the therapy." Hermione laughed continuing.

"Every month the ovaries release eggs, well usually one egg but occasionally it lets out a few extras, but that's besides the point-"

"So what is your point, Hermione?"

"I can't remember, what was my point?" She joked pretending to be deep in thought.

"Well, you started explaining why we bleed during menstrual cycles to Ryo," Ginny offered trying to act as serious as Hermione, but failed miserably.

"Jolly ho! That's right Sherlock! However did you solve the mystery?"

"Why it's all elementary Watson." Everyone in the room started cracking up.

"Uhhh…." Draco stated unintelligibly.

"Now my dear boy," Ginny continued in character addressing Draco, unfortunately Draco did not know this, that poor deprived pure blood. He paled greatly and jumped out off the bed in horror.

"Wha-what?! I am not a boy! I am Ryo Akuinnen! How dare you accuse me of being Draco! He's a friend of the family! I am not some freak of nature or a cross dressing lunatic so STOP ACCUSING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone stared blankly at Draco, then blinking simultaneously.

"No one was accusing you of any such thing," Sarah told him laughing in disbelief, "Why in God's name would you think Ginny's role playing is accusing you of being a man?" Draco sat back down on to the bed blushing, staring at the comforter as if it held the knowledge of the world in it.

"Well, errr… You see mmmmmy aunt was a man-" The room gasped.

"You're uncle was gay?!" Someone asked in awe.

"No! No!" ("Damn, why did I say that?! *bang* Get out of my head images! *crash* Get out Oldie-Moldie-Voldiemort and 'Luscious'. Blek, that was so wrong. That was the gayest this to sayyyyy- DAMN IT! Enough with the gay! I can't get the image of Harry and Ron going at it out of my headddddddddd- WAIT A BLOODY SECOND! Since when do I call them by their names in my head?!? *evil glare of death at the image* Damn it! Being a girl is making me have perverted thoughts; well more disturbing ones than I ever had as a man…") "What I meant to say was she was a woman at one time but became a man-" The room gasped yet again. Ginny was flushed deep red in embarrassment.

"Oh Ryo! I'm so sorry- I mean, I had no idea- I-" Ginny was desperately trying to apologize.

"It's okay, I guess I'm just a lot more sensitive about the fact than I thought I was."

"Which brings me back to why we are here in the first place!" Hermione proclaimed happily. "Becoming extremely emotional about trivial occurrences or things you normally are okay about. Craps are also an unwelcome, painful, annoying side effect to menstrual cycles. So, the ovaries release an egg, slash, eggs once a month. They travel through the tubes attached to the ovaries to the uterus. If a sperm happens to be waiting for it, it is fertilized and a baby will eventually grow from it." Blush, blush. That was Draco's reaction, in case you didn't notice, you dumb arse you. "If no sperm is there, the lining in the uterus that would help support the egg as it grew is not needed and is ejected out of the body. The blood that soils your undergarments once a month is the useless uterus lining."

"Oh," Draco managed to squeak utterly embarrassed, mind utterly in the gutter.

"Menstrual cycles, or as they are commonly called; periods, usually last a week or so. And occur about every 28 days, in theory." Hermione leaned over and pulled a small calendar out of her nightstand drawer. "So, today in the second, classes start the fifth…." She continued mumbling to herself and then cast a duplicating spell on the calendar and marked a red dot on both calendars. "Here's a calendar so you can keep track of your cycles, I have a copy since it's hard to remember to mark when it starts and ends in the begging."

"Thank you," Draco mumbled embarrassed taking the calendar. "Oh," Draco exclaimed examining it. "Why is the fifth circled in red as well as green?"

"The dates circles in red are the approximate dates my period should start and the dates circled in green are important school dates, see? The first is circled in green as well."

"Wow Hermione, you should keep a big calendar on the wall and have everyone mark their period dates on it!" Someone called out.

"Okay!" She cast a spell to create a new larger calendar and put it on the wall. She then used a red pen and marked R.A. on the second and used a purple pen and marked H.G. on the fifth.

"It's called sarcasm…" They muttered. Hermione made a key at the bottom and made small boxes of colors for a key.

"Okay! So you use red for the actual date your period starts, purple for the approximate date of your next period, green for important school dates such as exam dates ect., blue for birthdays, and black for quidditch match dates. And you all are welcome to use the calendar." She smiled brightly, somewhere in the crowd the 'someone' who sarcastically suggested the idea, AKA Meredith, rolled her eyes.

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A/N: Yay! I actually finished another chapter! I'm about 5 minutes away from my family's condo in Orlando right now, and guess what! It's only Dec. 30th! Yay! I still have 6 days left of my vacation! And I already have another chapter all planned out. It actually was gonna be part of this chapter, but I figured this was plenty long and the next idea is completely different from the one conveyed in this chapter. So! I'm not going to talk anymore because it's wasting time I could use to write more. BYE!