Sage: Konnichiwa! Welcome to Chapter 10 of The Love Potion! I'm very sorry about not updating for almost four months, but I was having some technical issues with my last computer. But I was finally able to finish this chapter when I bought myself a laptop, so huzzah! Anyway, today I have a special guest doing the disclaimer, Ryou from Yu-Gi-Oh!

Ryou: Um, hallo there. I'm not quite sure why I'm here, but it's very nice to meet you all! *bows*

Sage: You're here to do the disclaimer for my story.

Ryou: Oh! Well in that case, I'd be happy to do it.

Sage: Okay, then just tell the nice (coughevilcough) lawyers what they wanna hear.

Ryou: All right. Sage doesn't own Zelda or any of its characters. *looks at Sage* Was that okay?

Sage: It was perfect, thank you. And now, could you thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter? *hands Ryou a list of names*

Ryou: Okay. Thank you:

PitFTW
Link Fangirl01
MrChoco
OneWingedHeron53
TwilightQueenMidna
Kayman
Angelgirl963
Someguy5
iawesome213

for reviewing chapter 9 of Sage's story. I'm sure it means quite a lot to her.

Sage: Yes it does, I love my reviewers. ^_^ Here Ryou, have some creampuffs for a job well done. *hands Ryou creampuffs* And now, let the story recommence!

Link whistled cheerfully as he made his way across Hyrule Field toward Hyrule Castle Town, Zelda still held securely in his arms. As they came to the drawbridge that led into the town, Zelda tapped Link's shoulder to get his attention. He stopped and looked down.

"Link," she started. "I absolutely refuse to go into anyplace remotely civilized with you while you look like that."

Link looked confused. "Like what?"

Zelda pointed at Link's head. "Your hair is still standing up in a way that makes you look like a porcupine on steroids, and you still haven't wiped the drool off your face. You look like some kind of mental institute escapee, and I for one don't care to be seen with someone who looks like they hugged a bari." (1)

"Normally I would've fixed my hair right away, but my hands have been kinda full." Link explained, bouncing Zelda a bit to prove his point.

"Yeah, full of me." Zelda snapped. She took a deep breath to calm herself and tried reasoning with the hero. "If you'd just set me down, your hands would be totally free to fix it."

"And give you the chance to run off?" Link snorted. "Not likely. I'm going to keep carrying you until I feel you can be trusted to not run out on our date."

"But aren't your arms getting tired?" Zelda asked, hoping that she could convince the hero to release her with a fake act of concern for his well being.

"Nope. My golden gauntlets make it so I can withstand tremendous amounts of weight."

There was a silence that permeated the surrounding area for the entire length of three seconds before it was disrupted by a shriek of pure feminine rage. "Did you just call me fat?!"

Link's head snapped back from the sheer force of the scream. "No! I was just saying that—"

Zelda began to pummel Link's chest furiously with her fists. "Unforgivable! And you actually expect me to marry a pig like you!? Unhand me at once you cad!"

"Hold on just a second, I didn't say that!"

"Unhand me or else this date is cancelled!" Zelda yelled.

Link promptly 'unhanded' Zelda, and she let out an 'eep' as she tumbled to the ground. She was surprised that Link had actually listened to her, but also annoyed that he had dropped her so suddenly. Would he ever learn how to put her down gently? But then again, she probably should've chosen her words a bit more carefully. The princess looked up at the hero, who had begun to fiddle around in his belt pouch after dropping her. "What are you doing?" she asked.

He didn't answer, but instead pulled out a coil of rope. Zelda eyed it uneasily. "Um…what's that for?"

Link shrugged. "If I can't carry you, I'll have to tie us together in order to keep you with me."

"So you're saying that you want to put me on some kind of leash?" Zelda squeaked, quite unnerved by the idea.

"Exactly." said Link as a he began uncoiling the rope.

"N-now wait a minute!" Zelda stammered. "There has to be other options!"

"I'm afraid not." said Link as he began to advance on the princess. She scrambled to her feet and backed away from him. "Wait! What if I…um…" Zelda frantically tried to think of a way out of her current predicament. Link was closing in on her, rope hanging menacingly from his hands. "Wait," she thought. "Hands…"

"What if we hold hands?!" she blurted.

Link stopped. "Hold hands?" he questioned, looking thoughtful.

Zelda nodded her head frantically. "Yes! We could hold hands, and then I wouldn't be able to run off without your notice!"

"Hmm…that could work. In fact," Link began to look excited. "It would make us look like a couple! Perfect!"

Zelda let out a sigh of relief, glad that she'd been able to avoid the fate of a common dog. Her people would begin to wonder what kind of princess they had if they saw her being dragged around on a leash, and she couldn't have that. Her relief was short lived, however, when Link grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug. She squirmed in a feeble attempt to make him let her go. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work.

"Zelda, the fact that you'd offer to hold hands with me makes me so happy!" the hero gushed as he began to stroke the princess's long blonde hair, which consequently made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

"Um, I'm glad that you're happy and all," she started, unconsciously wincing with every stroke that made its way through her hair. "But would you consider fixing your own hair before playing with mine?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." Link let go of Zelda and started to pat his hair back into its usual style with one hand, his other appendage occupied with holding Zelda's wrist. Once he had finished, he wiped off the dried drool off his face with his sleeve and turned to the princess for inspection. "Better?"

Zelda nodded. "Much." Then something occurred to her. "Hey, what happened to your hat?"

Link reached behind his back and pulled his hat from where it had been hanging on a cord around his neck. "Sometimes my hat gets blown off in really fierce battles, so I attached it to this cord to make sure that I wouldn't loose it." he explained.

"That's…pretty smart actually." Zelda admitted as Link put his hat on and adjusted it to its normal position.

"Now, shall we go?" he asked.

"Um…"

"I'll take that as a yes. Let's go!" Link exclaimed, and started to walk briskly across the drawbridge. Zelda yelped as she was pulled after him by her wrist, and she had to trot to keep up with his long strides.

Once they entered town, Link looked around at the signs above the local businesses, trying to find a good place to have his 'romantic candlelit dinner' with Zelda. Zelda, on the other hand, was busy trying to hide behind Link, not liking the stares they were receiving from the townsfolk passing by. She also didn't like the commentary that accompanied some of the curious stares. Things like 'Isn't that Link with the princess?' and 'Are those two an item now?' floated to her ears, and she knew that rumors would be starting very soon. She groaned and leaned her forehead against Link's back. Being royalty, she was used to being the subject of rumors, but this would be fuel for a whole slew of rumors that she knew she wouldn't be able to deny. Oh why did the goddesses hate her so much?

Link looked over his shoulder at the princess curiously. Why was she hiding? Was there something that was scaring her? This thought made him stiffen and eye the marketplace suspiciously. From what he could tell, there wasn't anything out of the ordinary…except for that one guy who was scooting closer and eyeing Zelda funny…wait, maybe his angel was scared of that guy! Yes, what else could it possibly be?

"You fiend!" Link bellowed as he released Zelda's wrist and jumped the young man, pinning him to the ground. He quickly drew his sword and held the tip to the teen's neck. "How dare you frighten my sweet Zelda?!"

"Wh-what?" the teen stuttered, clearly scared witless by the crazy looking man who was pinning him down and threatening to stab him.

"Silence worm!" Link snapped. "I shall slay you for your insolence!" He raised his sword and prepared to make the killing blow. The crowd that had inevitably gathered around to see what the commotion was about gasped. They were about to be the witnesses to a first degree murder!

"What are you doing?!" Zelda shrieked as she sprang forward and latched onto Link's arm. She couldn't believe that he'd just randomly jump an innocent civilian and threaten to kill him! "Have you gone insane?!" she demanded as she pried the sword from the hero's grasp and threw it to the cobblestoned ground.

"But…isn't this guy the one who was scaring you?" Link asked in a small voice, wondering if maybe he'd attacked the wrong person.

"What would make you think this poor man was scaring me?" Zelda asked angrily. She made her way to the teen's side and knelt beside him. "Are you all right?" she asked, her voice becoming soft and concerned.

"Uh…I th-think so…" the teen said, still a bit shaken up from the sudden assault. He looked up and gasped when he recognized just who was speaking to him. "Your highness!" he breathed as a scrambled to a halfway sitting position and bowed his head in respect.

"Oh, you don't have to do that." Zelda reassured him. "Here, let me help you up." She took hold of the teen's arm and pulled him to his feet, then reached into her satchel and pulled out a pouch containing several hundred rupees. "Here, take this. It's the least I can do to make up for what Link just did." she said as she held the pouch out to him.

The young man looked startled and bowed his head again. "Your majesty! I couldn't possibly accept such generosity."

"No, it's all right. I insist." Zelda said gently as she took the teen's hand and placed the pouch in it.

The teen looked at the pouch in amazement, then at the princess with shining eyes. "You're too kind my lady."

Zelda smiled kindly at the young man. "Like I said, it's the least I can do to atone for Link's stupidity."

Link growled as he watched Zelda talk to the teenager. Why was she being so kind to this complete stranger while she was so cold towards him? It just didn't make any sense. And he didn't like the look that guy was giving her…he was practically undressing her with his eyes! Link decided it was time to put an end to this foolishness. He marched over to the princess and clapped a hand on her shoulder. She looked startled at first, but the look quickly turned to one of annoyance.

"Was there something you wanted?" she asked irritably as she shrugged off Link's hand, still mad at him for attacking one of her subjects.

"We're leaving." Link stated, turning and taking a few steps away from the teen. When Zelda didn't make a move to follow him, he grabbed her arm and tugged, trying to pull her after him. "Now." he growled.

Zelda slapped his hand away and crossed her arms. "And since when do I take orders from you?"

Link drew himself up to his full height and crossed his arms over his chest. "Since I became your fiancée. Everyone knows that the woman is always the submissive one in a relationship."

The gathered crowd, who had been quietly talking amongst themselves during the aftermath of the attack, suddenly fell silent at this statement, shocked by the hero's words. What in the name of Din was the man thinking? A few of the people in the crowd slunk away, not wanting any part of what was bound to happen next. And happen it did.

Angry shrieks echoed throughout the market place as the feminists of Hyrule Castle Town charged Link, screaming obscenities and threats as they converged on the hero and tackled him to the ground, beating him mercilessly with whatever they could get their hands on. Some of the women even broke out some wrestling moves, but most just contented themselves with the traditional 'beat the target with a blunt object' tactic.

"Take this, you sexist pig!"

"How dare you suggest that women are inferior?!"

"I'll rip out your esophagus and feed it to you!"

"I swear your mother will cry when she sees what I've done to you!"

Needless to say, when the ladies finally decided that Link had been sufficiently punished for his extremely sexist comment, he was barely recognizable as a human being. Zelda, who had been quietly standing to the side during the onslaught, walked over to the hero's prone form and kneeled beside what she assumed to be his head. It was really hard to tell, since his body was doing a very good impression of a pretzel. "So, who's the submissive one in the relationship?" she asked smugly.

The following reaction was the last thing she would've expected from the mangled man before her. Link sprang up from where he had been laying in an almost comatose state and seized Zelda's hands, his eyes sparkling with glee. Zelda jerked back in surprise. How was he able to move? Those women had beaten him within an inch of his life! And he didn't even look hurt at all!

"You actually acknowledged that we have a relationship! I'm so happy!" Link exclaimed gleefully as he enveloped the princess in a hug.

"You're inhuman." she gasped, suddenly fearing that she wouldn't be able to beat Link off if he actually tried anything indecent.

"Why thank you!"

"That wasn't a compliment."

Link ignored the princess's statement. "Now, shall we begin our date?" he asked, holding Zelda out at arms length to look her in the eye.

Zelda sighed. "I suppose so…" she said reluctantly. She had promised after all, and she wouldn't go back on her word. Though she was beginning to think that this would be a very good time to rethink that particular moral value…

"Alright! Then let's head on in to that restaurant over there!" said Link as he spun Zelda around and pointed to a rather expensive looking restaurant down the street. Zelda raised an eyebrow.

"Can you afford it?" she asked.

"Probably not." Link grinned.

Zelda gave him a withering look. "Then how do you expect us to eat there? I can assure you that I will not be paying for a date that I didn't want to go on in the first place."

Link waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. I saved the owner of that restaurant from an angry moblin, so he owes me a favor."

"…I see." said Zelda.

"Now come on!" Link exclaimed as he grabbed Zelda's hand in one hand and pointed down the street with the other. "We must start on our date while the night is still young!"

Zelda absently noted that the sky was indeed beginning to grow dark. "Oh fine." she grumbled as Link led her down the street to the restaurant. Once they got inside, Link requested a table for two, and they were seated within moments.

"Go ahead and pick anything you'd like." said Link.

"Uh-huh." Zelda murmured absently as she scanned her menu. She was used to eating fancy, so none of these items seemed all that special to her. But she was pretty hungry, so she finally decided on an entre that she thought would fill her.

A rather stuffy looking waiter came over to the table with his notepad ready. "Good evening monsieur and mademoiselle, how may I serve you?" he asked in a French accent.

"I'll have the filet mignon with the fettuccine alfredo and steamed asparagus tips, and a glass of your mulberry wine." Zelda ordered.

"And how would you like your filet mignon?" asked the waiter as he scribbled down her order.

"Medium-rare please."

The waiter jotted down the rest of the order and turned to Link. "And what will you be having, monsieur?"

Link held up his menu and ran his finger down the right side of it. "I'll have one of everything on this side of the menu." (2)

The waiter and princess gawked at the hero as he looked at the waiter expectantly, waiting for him to write down his rather hefty order.

"A-are you sure about zat, monsieur?" the waiter asked, not believing the appetite of this man.

"Yup." Link confirmed. Then he thought of something. "Oh, and bring me some of that mulberry wine while you're at it. In fact, bring a whole bottle."

"Uh, certainly." said the waiter. "Will zat be all?"

"Yup."

"W-well zen, I'll just be taking your menus, and your food will be out…erm…shortly." The waiter took the menus from couple and quickly fled to the kitchen.

Zelda just stared after the waiter for a moment before turning to Link. "You're actually planning on eating all of that food?" she asked in disbelief.

Link shrugged. "What can I say? Being a hero works up an appetite."

"No kidding." said Zelda, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "Let's hope the moblin you saved the owner from was a big one."

"Nope, it was just a normal one."

Zelda gave Link an incredulous look. "A normal one? Do you really think that's going to cover your bill? You literally ordered half the menu for Farore's sake!"

Link shrugged. "The owner doesn't know that the moblin was normal sized. He told me that it was the first moblin he had ever seen in person, so he'll believe me if I tell him it was bigger than usual."

"Link!" Zelda exclaimed, appalled by the very notion of telling such a lie. "How can you even think of taking advantage of a victim of a moblin attack? It's your duty to protect the people of Hyrule!"

Link snorted. "Well it's not like I get paid for it, so I think that I can bend the rules a bit every once in a while."

"And just how often do you bend the rules?"

"Not very often. In fact, I think this is only my second time. I can usually pull favors or use the rupees I find in my travels to get what I need."

"What did you do the first time?" Zelda asked, wondering what could possibly top ordering half the menu at an incredibly fancy and expensive restaurant without paying. Well, maybe ordering the whole menu…or two of everything on the menu…or…okay, now that she thought about it, there were quite a few things that could top it.

"Well," said Link. "The first time was when I got one of the Gerudo women to give me a blow—"

"What?!" Zelda shrieked, earning herself glares from the diners at the other tables. She blushed and ducked her head in embarrassment.

Link just stared at her in confusion. "Um…like I was saying…I got one of the Gerudo women to give me her tribe's sacred blowgun. It's an ancient blowgun that's been in their tribe for generations, but I needed it to get through a cave in order to rescue you, so I convinced one of them to give it to me by telling her that there was a prophecy that stated that the first male outsider to be accepted into their tribe would inherit it. That was probably the only other time I had to lie to get what I needed."

"O-oh." said Zelda sheepishly, ashamed of what she had thought he meant.

Link raised an eyebrow. "What did you think I meant?"

"Nothing!" Zelda squeaked. She cleared her throat and began fiddling with her napkin. "Nothing…" she mumbled.

Link suddenly got a devilish gleam in his eye and he smirked. "Ohhh, I get it. You thought that I was saying that I got her to give me a blow—"

Link was interrupted by the return of the French waiter. "Monsieur and mademoiselle, here is zee mulberry wine zat you ordered." He set a bucket of ice that contained a bottle of wine on the table. "Zee first course of your meal will be out shortly." He informed them.

"First course?" Link asked in puzzlement. "But I don't remember ordering a meal that had courses."

"Ah, well," said the waiter. "Your rather…large order will take some time to prepare, so we decided to bring it out to you in zee form of courses. Unless you would like to wait longer for your whole order…?"

"No no, that's fine, I was just curious." said Link, not wanting to wait any longer than he had to for his food.

"Zen I shall be back with the first course of your meal shortly." said the waiter. He turned and made his way back to the kitchen.

Link looked back at Zelda and regained the smirk that had graced his features only moments earlier. "So, you thought that I was referring to a—"

"Why don't we have some wine before we eat?" Zelda cut him off quickly, trying to avoid a very awkward situation.

Link suddenly took notice of the wine. "Oh yeah, the wine. That sounds like a good idea."

Zelda was surprised that Link had been distracted so easily, but was grateful to the goddesses for the wonderful blessing that was ADD. Link pulled the wine bottle out of the ice, popped the cork, and poured some wine into each glass. After depositing the wine bottle back into the bucket, he grabbed his wine glass and downed it. Zelda blinked as he seized the wine bottle and proceeded to refill his glass and down it again. After the fifth glass, Zelda began to grow uneasy.

"Um, Link?" she inquired. "I think that you've had enough for the moment…"

"Non -hic- sense!" he said as he hiccupped and poured another glass. "A little bit of -hic- wine can't -hic- hurt me!" The hero knocked back another glass and reached for the bottle again.

"Oh goddesses," Zelda groaned. "Please don't tell me you're drunk."

Hmm…I'm beginning to wonder if I should change the rating of this story to T. After all, I've made a few rather vague sexual references…and they are drinking alcoholic beverages...yeah, I'll probably do that sometime soon.

I apologize for changing up the way I'll be doing the disclaimers, but I was getting bored of using minor Zelda characters. Plus, I luffles Ryou. If you don't know who he is, Google image him! He's too cute! Anyway, more guests to come in future disclaimers! (because everyone loves a good cameo) =P

Reviews are greatly appreciated; they give me warm fuzzies and the will to write. ^_^

(1) A bari is a jellyfish looking monster that electrocutes people. They're found in the Jabu-Jabu's Belly dungeon in Ocarina of Time. I would imagine that hugging one would leave pretty much anyone looking like a Yami Marik cosplayer.

(2) I totally stole that idea from Slayers. I couldn't resist. XD