Chapter Eleven
"W-w-what?" asked Lily, wide eyed and stammering. It was very endearing but rather unsettling. Had he told her too early? "Me?"
"Yes you, you silly girl," muttered James, as he leant up quickly, cupping her neck and capturing her in a sweet kiss. It was soft, slow and gentle; it was everything a first kiss should be. He knew it wasn't technically their first but he liked to believe it was the start of new thing.
"Why me?" asked Lily breathlessly, as he raked his fingers through her hair, he couldn't get enough of her.
"Because ever since that night, you're all I can think about," replied James, smiling, staring into her enchanting emerald eyes. "Even if I tried thinking of other girls like Callie I felt guilty because of you. I want to be with you."
He waited nervously as he watched her staring at him. She was sizing him up, thinking. Never before had he opened up to a girl this much. The past women in his love life had all been one night stands and if they hadn't then he'd only gone out with them for a further few weeks because the sex was amazing. With Lily though it wasn't about sex at all, sure, it was really good but he actually enjoyed being around her and talking to her. The extra lessons had been a bit of a lame excuse to be around her.
He suddenly felt her hands on his chest, slowly undoing the buttons one by one. Constantly, keeping a lustful steady gaze. Her hands brushed against his skin ever so slightly and he had to keep himself from moaning. Her touch was hot to his skin; intoxicating. As she pushed the shirt off his shoulders she was so close he could feel her hot breath against his neck. It was too much; he pushed her so her back was flat against the desk, him on top. With one hand above her shoulder on the desk holding his weight up the other teasingly started undoing her shirt buttons. He dipped his head down and started sucking and nibbling gently along her collarbone making her gasp in pleasure. He smirked against her skin, loving that he had that effect on her. He trailed his lips up and down her body getting dangerously close to her bra each time. He was a tease but he knew it would be worth it in the end. He pushed her shirt off gently and stared down at her smiling. She seemed a little unnerved, and was looking anywhere but his eyes.
"You're the most beautiful person I know," he said softly, pressing his lips on hers gently. He felt her tongue running along his bottom lip and granted access, giving in to her desires as well as his own. As one of his hands was once again running through her hair and the other massaging her thigh he felt her hands unzipping his trousers. With all his effort, he ignored the screaming protests from his body and sat up from her. She sat up too embarrassed, quickly doing up her shirt buttons again with frantic speed, her face tinged red.
"We shouldn't do that," commented James, his voice strained.
"It's ok," replied Lily, sounding teary, not looking him in the face. "I should have known it was all some joke. After all why would you want to sleep with the silly school girl?"
She ran out the room before he could comprehend what she'd just said let alone before he could grab hold of her. Is that what she had thought? He'd spilled his heart out to her and she thought it was some sick joke to upset her with. He glanced at the clock. It was only half six, everybody would be at dinner. He wasn't hungry; he was emotionless and tired at that point. He muttered his password and dragged himself to bed, sprawling out on top without even getting changed and falling asleep. It was a very early night.
She blocked him out of her life completely. She stopped eating in the Main Hall, at least when he was in there, she chose to sit at the back now in class was always the first one out. She didn't even raise her hand in class anymore to avoid talking to him in anyway. The moment he knew he had no hope though was when he went to her Common Room to try sort things out but the stupid portrait wouldn't let him in because she had changed the password.
However, she was still helping him with the Halloween dance although namelessly of course. Posters and flyers had been put up around the castle promoting the event, she'd ordered catalogues from several different stores and they were for sale for discount prices from the Entrance Hall, she'd even arranged the Hogsmeade Weekend the week before the dance. That's where the majority (third years and up) were now, including him.
He was sitting in the bustling Three Broomsticks with his Remus and Sirius, for the first time they'd been together since the night he first met Lily.
"James, are you ok?" asked Remus, he'd always been the sensitive one. "This is the first time we've seen you in nearly two months and you're practically drifting off into space."
"This wouldn't be about the alluring Miss Lily would it?" asked Sirius smirking.
"She's my soul mate," replied James, tonelessly. "Dumbledore said so."
"You told Dumbledore you like her?" asked Remus, shocked.
"No of course not," answered James. "I don't want to lose my job or my balls thank you very much. Her Patronus is a doe a-"
"And yours is a stag," finished off Remus, with a sympathetic smile. "Made for each other in every way and yet you're still sad."
"She's avoiding me at all costs, changed her password and everything," exclaimed James angrily. "I told her she was my soul mate, I didn't tell her about my Patronus though, and then we kissed and then she started undoing my trousers."
"You had sex with her? Again? You horny devil," chuckled Sirius,
"No," said James darkly, running a hand through his hair agitatedly. "I stopped her because for once in my life I cared about the girl more than sex and I didn't want to rush things. She thought that I was joking and that I wouldn't want to sleep with a silly school girl like her."
"Girls baffle me," commented Sirius, reflecting back. "They get angry if we rush things and try get in their pants but when we do the caring thing (not me personally of course) and wait until it's the right time they get angry then. They should sort themselves out, they're the crazy ones not us."
"Amen to that my friend," smirked James, downing his butterbeer in one.
"James?"
"What?"
"The 'alluring Miss Lily' was the pretty redhead wasn't she?" asked Remus suddenly.
"Yeah she was, well is," answered James, bemused. "Why?"
"No reason," mused Remus. "But is she that pretty redhead sitting at the bar with that boy?"
James turned to look to the section of the bar Remus was looking at and glared immediately. Lily was stood there looking beautiful. Her long red hair was cascading down her back in luscious curls. She was wearing a simple little brown leather jacket over a cream sweater with dark jeans tucked into knee high brown boots. She looked casual but stunning. The only accessory he didn't like was the boy's arms around her waist.
"Daniel Madson," muttered James darkly.
"Who's he?" asked Sirius, turning also to size the teenage boy up.
"They boy who broke her heart," replied James, glowering. "And now she's happily laughing with him."
"Maybe they're back together," suggested Remus.
"He shagged Callie when he was still in a relationship with Lily," explained James. "I doubt they're back together."
"Then why did he just give her a kiss on the lips?" asked Sirius, rhetorically and with a pitying look in his eyes.
"I'll be back in a minute," said James with a dark smirk on his face. He went up to the bar and sat on the stool next to the one where Lily was perched on. The pretty barmaid, Rosmerta, had always had a soft spot for him so she greeted him with a huge smile.
"Hiya James Darling," she exclaimed giving him a huge kiss on the cheek. "Long time no see. Let me just take this young couple's order then I'll take yours."
"Two butterbeers please," said Daniel, in a deep manly voice that James was sure was put on just to send 'she's mine' vibes to him.
"Tut tut tut," sighed James loudly and theatrically. "You've already started to mess up your new relationship Mr Madson."
"And why is that, sir?" asked Daniel with an obvious glare.
"Well her favourite drink here is cherry syrup with soda," smirked James. "Am I correct Miss Evans?"
She blushed and looked away annoyed. "You have a good memory Professor Potter."
"It seems you don't," commented James, looking at her intensely. "You missed an after class lesson with me. I need a quick private word about it." She sighed relentlessly as he gently pulled her by the arm to a quiet corner of the pub.
"What was all that about?" snapped Lily angrily. "How suspicious can you be?"
"Yeah well it got you over here didn't it," smirked James before his eyes glowered again. "What are you doing with him?"
"We're on a date," glared Lily. "So I'd appreciate it if you butted out of it thank you very much."
"You're on a date? With him!" exclaimed James heatedly. "After what he did to you?"
"He cornered me last week and begged me to forgive him and take him back," explained Lily, with a sigh. "He got down on his knees and everything. It was one mistake in two years of being good to me."
"He slept with Callie! That's a pretty big mistake to make."
"Well I've forgiven him for it so what's done is done," said Lily firmly.
"Including us?" asked James, staring at her so profusely she had to look away. He couldn't believe he was hearing this.
"How can something be done when it didn't really begin?" asked Lily with a bitter laugh.
"It did though and you know it."
"You rejected me," said Lily, in a quiet sad voice that made James's heart break that just little bit more.
"I didn't want to rush things or spoil them by shagging there and then on my desk," replied James truthfully. "I wanted to start our new relationship properly." He saw tears cascade down her face but he knew she wouldn't let him wipe them away for her and the last thing he wanted to see is her flinching at his touch.
"It didn't stop you the first night we met," said Lily, weakly, frantically wiping away the tears. "I thought that sex wouldn't be an issue because of that. It made me think that you didn't really like me when you said no that night."
"I meant every single word I said that night," he smiled softly.
"And so did Daniel," explained Lily with a sad smile. "It wouldn't have worked for us anyway. You're my professor and I'm your student."
"And you think it's going to work for you and Daniel?" exclaimed James, incredulously. He knew immediately this was not the right thing to say. He could see the anger bubbling up and her emerald green eyes practically flashed with anger. With her ruby red hair added into the mix she did look quite scary - not that he'd ever tell her this.
"He made a mistake!" shouted Lily, lowering her voice when she noticed several people looking at them strangely. "I'm not rushing into the relationship blindly. I'm deciding if I want to be his girlfriend again after the Halloween Dance. He's taking me and we're going to have a good time because he loves me."
James scoffed. She was beginning to get him quite pissed off. "He could love you with his whole heart - not that he does, of course, he can't have done if he had an affair – but you can never love him."
"I do love him," cried Lily furiously.
"Then why were you so cut up about me not having sex with you?" asked James smartly. "Besides, even if I didn't exist you could never love him properly because you'll never be able to trust him fully ever again."
She slapped him.
He rubbed his cheek, looking at her with shock in his hazel eyes. Boy, could she slap. He could have sworn remorse flashed across her face but it was briefly replaced by anger so he couldn't be sure if it was real or a trick of the light.
"Don't you dare make assumptions about me or my life," hissed Lily, fuming. "You don't have the right. You are nobody to me. Stay away from the both of us."
And then she walked right out of his life.