"Hey Eddie you ok?" Linda asked the younger woman as they stood in the kitchen getting leftovers
"Yea I'm ok thanks Linda" Eddie said "But what did Jamie say to you?"
"He didn't say anything, just call it my motherly instinct"
Eddie smiled "I thought I might have been pregnant and I didn't know I wanted it until I wasn't. Jamie, he's been ready probably since I was still in college. But he did the whole coin flip thing and I was sad I wasn't pregnant. I've been all over the place since the shooting so I don't think my body would have handled it well right now. I know it wasn't the right time..." Eddie said drifting off
"Eddie?" Linda asked concerned taking the younger woman's hand
"Really I'm ok. Just saying it all outloud" Eddie said letting out a small laugh and waving her hands around
"Jack was a surprise but Sean we had to try a little harder for. Some unsolicited sisterly advice?"
"Of course" Eddie said
"Have fun, don't worry, don't count. You both are young and healthy. The stress you two have been under is imaginable. It'll happen for you two, but don't get caught up in it. I stressed and counted and took my temp for Sean and it wasn't working and so Danny suggested we stop all that, have fun and relax and try later. Few months later I was pregnant. Your body knows when it's ready, just trust it" Linda said hugging Eddie
"Thanks Linda. I needed to hear that. I could tell Jamie was a little disappointed when I called him upstairs earlier but he would never show that in front of me, but then I felt bad being sad when I knew he wouldn't tell me"
"Talk to him about it. Tell him you want him to express it. I've known Jamie since he was seven, expressing his emotions is not something he's good at"
"Tell me about it" Eddie said rolling her eyes
"If you really think there's a problem then go to your doctor and put your mind at ease, but sometimes the more you want something the harder it is to get" Linda said
"Thanks Linda, I needed this"
"It's what sisters do" She said "plus us outsiders need to stick together" She added smirking
"Somehow they don't think of us as outsiders" Eddie said laughing
"And that's a good thing" Linda said handing her the bag of leftovers
"Ready babe? I have an early tour tomorrow" Jamie asked walking into the kitchen
He held his hand out for the bag from Eddie so she gave it to him. "All set"
They their their goodbyes and made the short drive back to their house.
"Everything ok? You and Linda were in there awhile"
"Yea just talking" Eddie said
"Everything ok? You two complaining about marrying Reagan's?" Jamie asked smirking as he pulled into the driveway
"No" Eddie said laughing and rolling her eyes "More girl stuff than anything" She added shrugging getting out.
"Ok" Jamie said walking up behind her as she unlocked the door.
"I'm gonna head up and get ready for bed" Jamie said
"Ok I'll come up and read in bed with you" Eddie called out from putting their left overs away.
Jamie had changed into a pair of flannel pajama pants and was already in bed when Eddie walked in "you still up?" Eddie asked
"Yea what's up?" Jamie asked sitting up
"Give me a second to get ready for bed" Eddie said disappearing into their bathroom
"You take more than a second, I told you I have an early tour" Jamie said laughing
"Will you just be quiet" Eddie called from the other side of the door
He heard the sink go on but she still hadn't come back out.
"Any day Janko"
"Oh my god stop" She said laughing
"See I peed and changed and brushed my teeth and washed my face all while you were still bitching" Eddie said getting into bed
"Maybe I just wanted to do this" Jamie said rolling on top of her and kissing her
"Jamie" Eddie said pushing him off
"Whoa sorry" Jamie said
"We can't remember, I'm..." Eddie said
Before she could say anything else Jamie cut her off "No I know, you usually don't object to me making out with you though" Jamie said slightly confused
"Why don't we have some fun tomorrow night, just us, me and you. Let me plan, I'll leave out what you need to wear and I'll pick you up. Don't worry about anything" Jamie said kissing her cheek
" I just got done telling you sex isn't going to happen"
"Get your mind out of the gutter Janko, there's other fun things to do in this world" Jamie said smirking
"Uh-uh we don't do other fun stuff" Eddie said
"No forms of any sex will be had. We will be keep our clothes on at all times" Jamie said holding his hand up like a Boy Scout.
"So you really just magically thought of something fun to do just like that?" Eddie asked skeptically
"I've been mulling it over, needed to wait till it was the right time"
"Right time to what stress me out more?" Eddie said
"Do you trust me?" Jamie asked
"With my life, but that's not the point"
"The point is we're gonna have fun tomorrow and I've taken care of everything and all you have to do is put the clothes on that I put on the bed and and wait for me to pick you up" Jamie said
"You're infuriating Reagan" Eddie said reaching for her phone
"Don't bother texting Kara or Haylie neither of them know what I have planned" Jamie said taking her phone out of her hands.
"Eddie I think you'll really enjoy it and if you don't we'll leave. But just relax and let me kiss you" Jamie said rolling over and taking her mouth with his
Eddie gave into it and then rolled on top of Jamie.
"Tell me" She said into his mouth poking his side
"Sorry little busy" he said kissing her again
Jamie felt like there was more she wasn't saying so he flipped her back to her side of the bed and sat up.
"Ed what's going?" Jamie asked her seriously
"What?"
"I mean yea you can run a little feisty at times but usually I can read you and you're confusing the hell out of me today"
"Ha me? What about you?"
"What about me?"
"You were all gung-ho about me possibly being pregnant and then today when I got my period you just went about your day like I read you the weather report and didn't care" She said getting agitated
"Of course I care Eddie but what did you want me to do, yell at you for not being impregnated with my baby? I mean we knew it was a long shot"
"Then tell me how you're feeling. Rocket science is easier than Pulling emotions out of you"
"Eddie" Jamie said gently as he put his hand on her leg "Yea I was disappointed that you weren't pregnant but there wasn't anything to do to change it right now. I'm not gonna get made at you for that Eds"
"Then why didn't you tell me you were bummed?" Eddie asked
"Why would I? To make you more upset? Eddie it's not just you, you kinda need me for it too" Jamie said nudging her foot with his
"I guess" Eddie said
"If I was mad at you for not being pregnant I'd have to mad at me too. I'm pretty sure you need me for it. It's not something to get mad over or even disappointed" Jamie said before Eddie cut him off
"But what if I lost the baby? What if I was pregnant and then something happened"
"I wouldn't be mad, I would sad and upset, devastated but no anger" Jamie said
"Eddie what's going on?" He asked her
"I just felt like you're so either way it didn't matter and I know I was all confused with what I wanted but you didn't really care today"
"What. Janko look at me, of course I cared. Yea I had wanted you to be pregnant, you know I want kids with you. But like I said I knew you were upset and it wasn't gonna do either of us any good for me to upset you more"
"I just felt alone" Eddie said looking away
"Eddie" Jamie said softly "you're never alone, not with me, babe. I truly am sorry that I didn't voice how I was feeling but I didn't want to upset you more"
"Maybe I'm over reacting"
"It wouldn't be the first time" Jamie said smirking
"I know it won't be the last" Eddie said smiling "Jamie can you promise me that you will try to be more expressive about your feelings"
"I promise to try. My dad says Danny and I are emotionally constipated though. Joe, he wore his heart on his sleeve like you" Jamie said "And Ed if you ever feel like your alone, just talk to me" Jamie said taking her hand
He heard her sniff and saw her quickly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
"I don't know what's wrong with me" Eddie said
"We've been through a lot together, you're tired and emotional and it's fine, there's nothing wrong with you"
"Sometimes like today I just feel like you used to express your emotions more when we were just friends"
"Maybe I did, I don't know. I know it sounds terrible but I'm the one that's supposed to take care of you and protect you and I know it's old fashioned and I'm expecting a slap in the stomach any second but it's more I'm not good with emotions and that I don't want to upset you" Jamie said
"I don't need protecting Jamie I just need you"
"Ok. I just didn't want to burden you or upset you because you've been hurting so much. I thought it would've been selfish of me" Jamie
"You don't have a selfish bone in your body Jamie"
"Look at us handling things like adults" Jamie said
"Just promise to talk to me"
"How is it that we can communicate with looks but when it comes to feelings we can't? Jamie asked her
"I can, you're the one that can't Mr. Emotionally Constipated"
"I will try to voice my feelings, but you should never question how I feel about you"
"I love you" Eddie said turning to hug him
"I love you too Eds" He said kissing her head "Don't worry I'll make sure I get you knocked up" he added laughing
"So romantic"
"There's a short amount of time I can talk about my feelings before I spontaneously combust" Jamie said smirking
"You're such a jerk" Eddie said laughing and poking him in the side
Jamie grabbed her hand that was poking his side and took it in his.
"We good Eddie?" Jamie asked her, more serious
"Yea we are, I don't know. It's been an overwhelming month and I just need to go back on the street, feel like myself again. This whole crying thing isn't my style"
"You need to let your emotions out, go for it" Jamie said
"It's not just that, it's more like I feel like I'm not capable of anything" Eddie said pulling away from him
"Hey whoa this is something we need to talk about" Jamie said tugging her arm
"You have an early tour" Eddie states
"I'll drink extra coffee" Jamie deadpanned
"It's dumb"
"Not dumb if it's bothering you" Jamie said
"This would be easier to say if you were still my partner" Eddie started
"Okayyyyy" Jamie said not sure where she was going
"I feel like I'm the scared little girl again and I hate feeling like that. Like the other day it felt like bring your little sister to work day. Oh hey there's Eddie all fragile and emotional"
"First of all I don't think of you in any same category as Erin. Second of all you feel what you feel, third of all I don't think anyone thinks your fragile, fourth of all"
"Fourth of all?" Eddie asked cutting him off
"Yea fourth of all. I'm not done, fourth of all Eddie your badass you shouldn't feel otherwise. And lastly, fifth of all don't let anyone make you feel small or bad or anything else. You got hurt on the job Ed, it happens it can happen to any of us. No one judges you for it. I think you're just insecure about it and that's fine, but I don't think anyone thinks of you any differently"
"Fifth of all doesn't exist" Eddie said
"Come on Ed" Jamie pleaded
"Maybe it's just in my own head, but it's how I feel. Like I have to prove to everyone I still belong out there"
"I kinda get that, I felt like people were judging me after Vinny was killed like oh yea he can't keep his partner alive whose gonna wanna ride with him? He's only here cause he's the PC's son. But I was only seeing what I want to see, it was more people were trying to help me though it and I took it the wrong way"
"And if you feel like you have to prove something I'm sure you'll kick ass first day back on the street"
"I guess" Eddie said not totally convinced
"It's more than just he job bothering you, spit it out"
"What if this is some sign that I shouldn't have kids, that because my family life was so screwed up, I would screw up any potential l children. Or what if I can't have kids?" Eddie asked in a small voice
"You're gonna be a great mom, look how you are with the boys and Nicky and the kids we interact with at work. Eddie you're nothing like your mom. And you don't know if you can't have kids right? So don't stress about something that most likely isn't true, and if we struggle then we'll do it together and figure it out"
"Man and you say I hold everything in?" Jamie asked raising an eye
"I don't know how we got here, when it all got complicated" Eddie said gesturing
"It's life babe, good and bad. But I know there's no one else I'd rather have by my side"
"How long you've been feeling inadequate?"
"Since I went back to work and then now since I wasn't pregnant which like is the one thing I'm supposed to be able to do"
"We just stopped using condoms"
"So teenagers get pregnant by looking at each other"
"You've officially lost your mind. Just relax. I promise tomorrow will help"
" Please tell me" Eddie begged
"Early tour, time to sleep" Jamie said shimmying down in the bed
"Reagan" Eddie groaned
"There's nothing you can do to make me tell you" Jamie said
"Nothing? Is that a challenge?" Eddie asked with a smug look
Before Jamie could answer Eddie rolled back on top of him and started kissing down his chest and her hands got dangerously close to pushing his pajama bottoms and boxers off.
"Alright so maybe. But I'm not telling you. It'll ruin the surprise" Jamie said trying to resist her
"Ugh fine" Eddie said rolling off him
"You kill me Janko you know that?"
"And you love every second of it" Eddie said
"Whatever you jerk" Jamie said laughing and cuddling closer to Eddie
"Do you think any other couple uses the work jerk as a term of endearment?" Eddie asked grinding her butt into Jamie
"No and stop that" Jamie said lightly swatting her butt
"I thought you like my ass" Eddie said turning her head
"Oh I love it, all those years you kept telling me your ass didn't look good in those uniform pants were such a lie"
"But you're my jerk" Eddie said giggling
"I wouldn't advertise that. I have a Boy Scout image to uphold" Jamie said kissing her
"Can't mess that up now can we?" Eddie asked kissing him back
"You ok babe?" Jamie asked as he ran his fingers on her side
"Yea, I am. I promise. I just need to relax I know" Eddie said
"I love you Eds. And I'll never stop trying to protect you, it's who I am" Jamie said
"I know, it's one of the things I love about you. Like I said Jamie, you're the best person I know and you're my best friend" Eddie said "I love you even when I try and fight with you and you shut me down"
"Sometimes I don't think I have the patients to deal with you" Jamie said smirking
"Oh whatever" Eddie said rolling her eyes "So about tomorrow?"
"I'm not telling you, just know you'll have a good time" Jamie said
"I can try and get it out of you, you never wearing a shirt to bed even when it's freezing out helps that"
"You're a fucking heater Eddie, I wake up hot even without a shirt when you decide you need a Jamie sized pillow" He said cuddling her
"But you're my Jamie sized pillow, I gotta make sure you keep that tummy of yours warm and toasty" She said laughing
"Alright, I really need to sleep now. I gotta be up early" he said
"Good night Jamie, I love you" She said turning her head to kiss him
"I love you too" he said squeezing his arm around her.
"Reagan what the hell" Jamie heard someone yell as he walked into his office
"Good morning Kara?"
"For the love of God why would you intentionally torture your wife?"
"I'm not following, it's early" Jamie said looking at his watch that read 6:30
"Um the Eddie we know and love has been temporarily replaced with a stressed out overly cautious and overly emotional Eddie and you're making it work"
"What are you talking about she was still sleeping when I left. She didn't even budge when I kissed her goodbye"
"Um last night. I had like ten texts asking if I knew where your fun little date was tonight" Kara said slightly annoyed
"What bug is up your ass this morning?"
"No big, just wondering why you would irritate her more"
"Ok she needs to calm down, she's been worrying about everything since she got shot. I planned a fun night, I promise you she sill enjoy it"
"You really gonna make her wait all day"
"I wanted to do something nice for her, she deserves it" Jamie said
"I agree but pissing her off beforehand won't help"
" 'the hell does she think I'm taking her a swingers party?" Jamie asked laughing
"Tell me, I promise not to tell her" Kara begged
"You're gonna spill it to her" Jamie stated
"I won't Reagan, I'll just guide her on where to gauge her emotions"
"She's got her head totally in some creek in a gutter and I think that she thinks that we're gonna try everything in the magazine that sounds like a drink, I'm blanking"
"Cosmo?" Kara asked laughing
"Yea that one" Jamie said nodding
"Why would make her think that?" Kara asked
"She said we can't do anything and I told her there's other fun things to do aside from rolling around between the sheets"
"Oh I don't need to hear this" Kara said rolling her eyes
"All you need to tell her is that she will be fully clothed, dinner is involved and she'll get to relax" Jamie said
"It better be good Reagan" Kara said
"I really think she'll like it" Jamie said
"Well then I can't wait to hear about it" Kara said
"Kara is everything ok? Usually I only get attitude from Eddie this early in the morning" Jamie said drinking his coffee
"Yea I'm good, just tired. Sorry for pouncing when you got in"
"It's good that you guys are friends even if you take her side even though I took yours" Jamie said droning on
"That was years ago, get over it" Kara said laughing
"I have to get changed for roll call, I don't need my Sargent yelling at me, he can be a real pain in the ass" She said walking to his door
"Yea you better get moving don't wanna piss him off. I hear the fleet needs cleaning" he said smugly
"I'm going, I'm going he said hurrying out of the room.
So where do you think Jamie is taking her? What relaxing thing does he have planned. I know, but do you? Let me know what you're thinking, either leave a review or send me a DM. You won't win anything other than the satisfaction of knowing and bragging rights!
The hint is: there's two events Jamie planned and they occur in two different places.
Don't forget to review!
I'm also sorry for any formatting issues, I wrote this chapter on my phone.