No Need For Achika

By Galaxy1001D

Tenchi Muyo and all related characters are © AIC/Pioneer/Funimation. This story has been written solely for entertainment. The views expressed herein do not necessarily express the opinions of AIC/Pioneer/Funimation, the author, or this website.

Chapter Eleven: I'll Understand If You Just Want To Talk

"Bon appétit," the housemates cheered before they started eating. (The word they used was probably closer to 'itadakimasu', but it doesn't matter.)

"So how are you adjusting to the new decade, Mom?" Tenchi asked as he passed a bowl of riceballs.

"Oh just fine, Tenchi," She smiled back. "Although it sure is hard to catch up. I can't believe that everyone is from outer space. You all seem so normal."

Little feminine giggles were heard around the table.

Achika blushed and put her hand to her mouth. "Oh, I didn't mean it that way."

"If we were space weirdoes who did strange alien things we'd be on another planet, not this one." Ryoko quipped.

"I suppose that deep down, we're just like Lord Yosho," Ayeka added as she nodded to Achika's father. "If we belonged in outer space we'd still be in outer space."

"Yeah," Ryoko nodded, "There must be lots of people who don't fit in on this planet. On another planet they'd be right at home."

"Are you saying that you didn't fit in on your homeworlds?" Achika asked.

"Hey," Ryoko shrugged. "In outer space I'm a wanted criminal. How much do you think I fit in out there? Here I'm the sweet, innocent girl-next-door."

"Ahem," Ayeka cleared her throat noisily.

"You got something to add Princess Prissy-pants?" Ryoko dared.

"I would have said that on this planet you're a lazy slacker," Ayeka said in her 'holy-than-thou' voice, "but you're right. On this planet you've been a law abiding citizen."

"Hey, are you implying that I don't pull my own weight around here?" Ryoko frowned.

"I just noticed that the rest of us help out with the chores and you just find new ways to get out of work," the princess nagged. "Mr. Masaki has fed and sheltered us, and the least you could do is…"

"I'm sorry," Achika interrupted. "Did you mean to say that you prefer doing housework to ruling a planet in outer space? You'd rather do chores than run an interstellar empire?"

Ayeka gasped, blushed, and looked away. Her face looked guilty.

"Oh I'm sorry," Achika put her hand to her chest.

"We sure do," Sasami answered Achika's question with youthful innocence. "Being princesses of Jurai was like being prisoners. Here we get to do whatever we want."

"And you'd rather do housework?" Achika asked.

"That's right," the blue haired girl smiled. "Here we get to cook and clean to our heart's content. It's like being a wife! It's great!"

"It certainly is… liberating," a blushing Ayeka agreed quietly. "I hate to admit it but being a princess of Jurai is like living in a gilded cage."

"Freedom's okay as long as you don't have too much of it," Ryoko added. "I've lived a life of absolutely no attachments for far too long. Here is a place I finally belong."

"Meow," Ryo-ohki looked up from the bowl of carrots she was eating.

"Sorry," the golden-eyed woman playfully scratched the furry cabbit's head. "Here is a place that we finally belong."

"I know what you guys mean," Kiyone blushed from her end of the table. "After being framed and hunted down by the Galaxy Police I've lost a lot of my naiveté. After being reinstated, I noticed the politics that go with promotions and it sickened me. I guess that deep down, I kind of wanted to come back here and see you all. You guys are the royal family. It's nice to see that the ones at the top are incorruptible, y'know? Restores my faith in the system."

"Wow," Mihoshi stopped eating to blink in surprise. "I never noticed."

"We could write a book on all the things you've never noticed," Washu grumbled.

Nobuyuki put down his bowl to explain things to his wife. "So you see my dear, we've been adopting girls who don't fit in on their own planets for the last year. Just because you're half alien doesn't mean you don't belong. What are a few years in time compared to light-years in outer space? This place is home to anyone from anywhere in time and space."

"As long as they're young and beautiful," Katsuhito quipped. "So far you haven't opened your home to anyone who doesn't qualify."

Nobuyuki blushed and scratched his neck. "Er uh… so you should fit right in, Sweetie-pie! A young and beautiful thing like you!"

The housemates laughed.

Nobuyuki decided to shift attention away from him before he sank any further. "As you can see, Tenchi has his pick of young and pretty girls, but now I have one of my own! Life is sweet."

"Careful, that's my daughter you're talking about," Katsuhito winked.

"I promise, my intentions are purely honorable," Nobuyuki said with mock seriousness.

"Do you promise to make an honest woman out of her?" his father-in-law joked.

"I swear, we'll be man and wife," Nobuyuki vowed. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

After dinner, as Tenchi was doing his homework, his father entered his room.

"Here you go, Tenchi," he said as he set down a box of magazines. "My collection of porno-mags. I don't think I'll be needing 'em for a while, so I'm giving them to you."

"That, and you don't want Mom to find them?" Tenchi said dryly.

"Uh, yeah," his father pulled on his collar. "That too."

"So when Mom finds these in my room, I'm supposed to tell her that they're mine, huh?" Tenchi grumbled.

"Er, could yuh?" Nobuyuki asked.

"What if the girls find them?" Tenchi sighed. "They never go into your room, but Ryoko comes in here all the time."

"Ryoko's a big girl," Nobuyuki made a dismissing gesture with his hand. "She can handle this stuff."

"Yeah right," Tenchi grumped.

"Sasami and Ayeka have cleaned and dusted my room in the past, and they've never said anything," Nobuyuki assured him.

"You've got privacy," Tenchi pointed out. "Why didn't you give them to Mihoshi and Kiyone before they went home?"

"If these things make you uncomfortable, just hide 'em someplace," Nobuyuki shrugged. "If you want to look at 'em go ahead, although I think I should warn you, some of the ones in the bottom are pretty hardcore." He waggled his eyebrows in imitation of Groucho Marx.

"Uh-huh," A disgusted Tenchi looked away.

"Just hide 'em," his father suggested. "After a while you'll forget they're even in here."

Ten Minutes Later…

Tenchi was still trying to do his homework while Ryoko was lying on his bed flipping through a magazine, the box of pornography beside her. "Hey Tenchi!" her mischievous topaz eyes lit up. "You should check out the ones at the bottom! They're really hardcore! Do you think sometime we could try some of this stuff?"

"C'mon Ryoko, knock it off…" Tenchi groaned in embarrassment.

"We could try this one, but we'd need more people," Ryoko suggested as she turned the magazine around to show Tenchi a provocative piece of smut. "I could get Ayeka drunk, and Washu would probably help us…"

"Go away…" Tenchi moaned. "I can't believe you found those so fast. I thought I did a good job of hiding them…"

At that moment, the door opened. "Tenchi darling, it's time for bed," his mother's angelic voice told him. "It's a school night, and you can't stay up forever. Oh, I've always wanted to say that!" she gushed. "You've gotten so big I was afraid that I'd never have the chance to tuck you in… Ryoko, what are you reading there?"

"I found 'em in Tenchi's closet," Ryoko smiled as Tenchi hid his face in his hands.

"Oh are those teen magazines?" Achika asked innocently. "I used to have a ton of those when I was your age. Back in my day it was… Tenchi, what sort of magazines are these?"

"Erm, educational?" Ryoko suggested with a playful grin.

"This stuff is horrible!" Achika gasped in horror. "This is so bad they wouldn't publish it in Shuukan Playboy! How could anyone be twisted enough to buy this smut?"

"Dunno," Tenchi grunted miserably.

"Are all of these magazines that bad?" his mother asked. She went through the box. "'Nyan Nyan Club?' 'Don't?' 'Cream?' 'Beppin School?' Tenchi Masaki, you should be ashamed of yourself!"

"I am," he sighed.

"Can I have that copy of 'Urecco' when you're done with it?" Ryoko asked. "The photoshoot has reinactments from the Kama Sutra in that one…"

"Tenchi Masaki, I can't believe that my little boy has grown up to be a pervert!" Achika gasped with tearfilled eyes.

"Mom, you're overreacting, they're not even mine!" Tenchi explained.

"Oh Tenchi," his mother moaned. "I'm sorry, I should have realized that you'd grow up in the last twelve years… it's just that you were such an innocent little boy…"

"I still am," he insisted.

"You've been in combat," she continued. "You're a man now."

"You don't understand," Tenchi shook his head.

Ryoko burst out laughing.

Achika turned her attention on the space pirate. "You there, what's so funny?" she snapped.

Ryoko showed her the lid of the box. On the lid was a piece of tape with the words 'Nobuyuki Masaki' and some dates written on it in black marker.

Achika's eyes widened. "Are you saying that all this… belongs… to Nobuyuki?"

Ryoko burst out laughing again.

"Tenchi!" gasped a horrified Achika. "Where did you find these?"

"Dad said that he wasn't going to need them anymore," Tenchi sighed.

"Oh! My… really?" his mother staggered backwards, blushing furiously her hands clutching at her burning red cheeks.

"What's the matter, Achika?" Ryoko teased knowingly. "Got some dirty secrets? When we went back in time, Nobuyuki was as shy and innocent as Tenchi. What wild and crazy things did you two do in the bedroom together anyway?"

"Oh… uh… well… Goodnight!" Achika stammered as she left the room quickly.

"Out," Tenchi pointed at the door. "Don't say anything Ryoko, just get out."

Ryoko pulled her lower eyelid down with one finger and stuck her tongue out. Giggling girlishly, the vanished into thin air.

Nobuyuki entered the room, holding a shoebox. "Hey, Tenchi, could you hide these pictures? Your mother might not understand…"

Tenchi hid his face in his arms and howled.

That evening, Achika was too embarrassed to kiss Tenchi goodnight, so she simply went to her room and got ready for bed. She was in bed waiting for her husband when he came in.

"What is the matter?" she asked innocently. "Why are you looking at me like that for? Oh!" Then it hit her. "Oh my goodness," she gasped as he came closer and sat on the bed next to her. "For you it's been over twelve years! I forgot! I'm sorry! This must be very awkward for you…" She clasped his hand and stroked his cheek. "Now I won't blame you if you're feeling shy and just wanting to take it slow. I'll understand if you just want to talk…"

Suddenly, her husband seized her in a passionate embrace and they both rolled off the bed.

In Ayeka and Sasami's room, the princesses were awakened by a strange noise.

"Ayeka!" Sasami gasped as she clutched Ryo-ohki. "What's that noise? It sounds like Tenchi's parents are being attacked!"

"Oh my goodness!" Ayeka cried. "You're right! We must tell Lord Tenchi!"

Out in the hall, the two princesses found Ryoko with her ear pressed against Nobuyuki's door. "Hey Ayeka, come listen to this!" Ryoko hissed in a whisper as the black strap in the back of her kimono twitched like a mischievous cat. Then her eyes widened in surprise. "Uh… why do you have your force field up?"

"What?" Ayeka set down the baseball bat she was carrying and made the tiny logs floating in the air around her and her sister disappear. "Uh, I thought Tenchi's parents were being attacked. Those horrible screams and moans…"

"The only ones attacking them are each other," Ryoko snickered.

"What do you mean by that… Oh!" Ayeka's face grew beet red as her hands instinctively covered her sister's ears. "Oh dear! I didn't realize!"

"Who knew Lady Achika was such a screamer?" Ryoko snickered.

"Ayeka, what's going on?" Sasami asked as Ayeka led her by the hand back to their room. Ryoko disappeared from Nobuyuki and Achika's door to appear behind the princesses.

"Nothing Sasami!" Ayeka said guiltily. "Mother and Father are just uh… watching sports! And those sounds they're making is just them cheering for their team!"

"I didn't know there was a team called the 'Oh Babies!'" Ryoko teased before she vanished like a ghost.

"They're watching sports at this time of night?" the little girl asked.

"Yes!" Ayeka smiled strangely. "You know that we have satellite TV! They must be watching a game in America! If its bothering you, we'll just have to stuff your ears with cotton! It's nothing to be concerned about really!"

"What's the matter Ayeka?" Sasami asked as she stroked Ryo-ohki. "Why are you blushing like that? What's wrong?"

"Oh, I just used up the last of the toilet paper and hope that Lady Achika doesn't find out!" her sister lied.

"What's going on?" asked her skeptical sister.

"Just go back to sleep Sasami, do you hear me?" Ayeka hissed.

"Okay," Sasami grumbled. "There's no need to get upset…"

Next: Stronger Than You Think